"That was good Howie, but take that last part one more time," their manager Jake announced as he pressed down the speaker button. They were in the full process of recording yet another album and was working on a ballad.
The Latino, standing in the studio booth nodded as he put on his earphones. Then he turned towards the mike, looked at the textpage and soon the room was filled with Howie's high and beautiful voice. There was no one, except maybe Brian who could muster a ballad like Sweet D'!
The rest of the guys, minus Nick, were sitting in front of the mixer table, working on a brand new song for the album. Kevin and AJ were engrossed in a discussion regarding the lyrics where AJ had one opinion and the Kentuckian another.
Brian on the other hand had just called his wife. She was suppose to come down with an early flight the next morning and he missed her so much. They hadnīt met since he had to leave hastily when Dr. Andersen had called, wanting him to come down to the hospital since Nick had gotten suddenly worse.
She was suppose to come down on a later flight and he really missed her since he hadn't dared to go back ever since Nick had scared them all with getting so sick last time, ending up in the hospital. Even if the Carter's had come as well as the rest of the guys he hadnīt wanted to leave his friend to go home. Besides Leighanne's parents were at their place taking care of her. Brian longed to see her stomach as she said she was getting bigger each day. He smiled to himself with the realization that he soon would be a dad.
Nick was nowhere to be seen. He was in the hospital, getting another radiation session and he would join the rest of the gang as soon as he was done there. To his advantage the sickness that had hounded over him the past weeks was slowly retreating and he was feeling like a human again. Radiation wasn't as hard on his body as the chemo had been and he was grateful that the unpleasant effects that had showed its ugly head last time were still not showing up. He was tired, but at least his stomach was staying calm and tranquile. Anything else would have been too hard to handle, besides he really wanted to get the work done. The sooner the album was recorded the better it was.
"That was good Howie," the manager said, giving the pop singer two tumbs up. As always, his artist had made a brilliant preformance. Turning to the man in the ballcap and dark glasses he announced, "Okay AJ youīre next."
The skinny man was so engrossed in discussing lyrics that he paid no attention to the manager. AJ was in a pissed mood and if it was one thing he hated was when Kevin told him what to do and think. Even when the oldest bandmember came up with good ideas they were often dissed by AJ since he hated when people were butting into his life.
Bone was a person that walked his own path, and that had been difficult to cope with throughout the years. The combination strong great vocals together with an awesome talent in dancing made him an unbeatable artist. Even if he had his own hard way in looking at situations.
"Alexander," Brian helped out, punching in his friend's shoulder. AJ wasnīt too found of Jake at all and this he showed with ignoring any attempt that the studio manager did when it came to getting his friend's attention.
The name Alexander had AJ turning his head towards his direction. The short man wasn't that found of his birthname and it was only used when someone wanted to get his attention or by his mother when she was upset with him. "What?" he snapped.
"Ouch," Brian looked a bit hurt. "There's no need to sound so testy."
"Mppfgf," AJ muttered with gritted teeth. "Okay," he turned towards the manager who had given up all attempts to get him to listen and instead was working at the mixing table. "What did you want me to sing?" He growled.
Jake looked up, frowning over the sudden interest, "Go into the booth and take the part from: Your eyes are shining like stars and.."
AJ interrupted the manager uttering with disgust, "Shining like stars? Who came up with this crap?" It was clear that he was in a very foul mood and made no attempt to cover it up. "It has to be you Kevin since the whole song stinks, Or you B'rok who write such sappy lyrics."
"AJ!" Howie was giving a word of warning.
Ignoring this, the tatooed man snorted as he walked up to the booth.
"It's a good song," Kevin defended the song text which he had been part in writing.
"Yeah you just say so 'cause youīve been writing on it," AJ snarled. " The song sounds like crap and you know it! This will not be a hit," he added a darkly.
"My...my you sure are cheerful today," Kevin said a bit irritated. He was used to AJ having mood swings, especially since he had quit drinking and he paid no further attention to it. AJ was easily irritated when he craved something to drink and he would rather deal with a foul Bone than a drunk or stoned one.
"So?"
"Stop the fighting guys," Howie butted into the conversation, sitting down on a chair next to Brian.
"Who says we're fighting?" AJ mumbled, dark in his eyes with irritation, "fuck can't a guy express his opinion without you accusing us of fighting?"
"Calm down," Howie said with a sigh and AJ glared back angrily at him. D' was a person that he had spent lots of time with and even if Howie often had a laid back approach, acting like the groups negoatitor AJ respected this man. Alot. It was him the younger man turned to. Howie was the best listener there was. And partier!
"Just do the part about the shining eyes and the we call it a wrap before we break for lunch," the manager said as he looked at his watch. They had been working since early in the morning and it was now noon. Nick had been a no shown all morning and Jake hoped that he would show his face here before the day was over. The rest of the guys had said that the blonde wasnīt feeling too well, but the manager suspected that it was all due to too much heavy clubbing.
Without words, AJ stomped into the booth and put his earphones on. He read through the lyrics one time, frowning. He sang the part he was suppose to when he had to stop three times since it sounded like crap. When Jake cut him off the fourth time AJ gave up!.
"Fuck I canīt do this shit," AJ shouted as he jerked the headphones, throwing them on the floor. He slammed the glass door open, the studio booth rattling from the friction.
"Whatīs eating your ass?" Kevin growled as he saw the skinny man dash out of the booth, a wild look in his eyes.
"This!" he flared with his arms out towards the whole scenario. "I am so fed up with this shit!"
"Ajeee!" Howie was there with a tone that said "stop-it-and-clean-up-your-act."
Bone caught an irritated glare from the dark man as he uttered mostly to himself, "Dammit I need a dri..I mean smoke!" He added muttering that he could do better than being stuck in a studio singing some lame ass lyrics that any teenager could do better.
"Now?"
"Yeah now! Do you have anything against it?" He snarled annoyed as he narrowed his eyes towards the short Kentuckian.
"As a matter of fact I have," Brian snapped back. "If you haven't forgot we have an album to record."
"Yeah! Well I donīt see Nick's ass anywhere." AJ hissed back. He was on a war battle.
"Yes where is he?" asked the manager looking at Brian who fidgeted uncomfortablly.
Staring at Bone, Brian snarled, "You know very well where he is right now." There was annoyance in his voice.
"Yup I sure do, but these guys donīt!" he extended his arms towards the rest of the studio people, including techicians and other personel.
"Where is he?" Now Jake was getting interested for real, and so was Glen the studio producer that came into the room.
"AJ donīt," Kevin warned his brother.
Ignoring this comment the rebel said with a mocking tone, "Yeah where is he really? Where is Nick?" He pretended not to see the angry glares that his brothers gave out. "I think they have the right to know the truth." He looked over to them, one by one. "Brian maybe you can tell them what is wrong with the kid!"
The kid! Even if AJ was just 2 years older he still often referred to Nick as the kid. He would be their baby when they were all at the retirement home!
Giving AJ a glare Brian stuttered, "Well he is..he is..indisposed right now. With mono." Brian felt confused over Bone's sudden outburst. It was not like him to act this strong upon something. No one except for the closest family knew anything about Nick's condition. This was for the best they had all decided since they were afraid that if the truth was spilled it would hurt more than it would heal. Nick would never be left alone and right now he needed all the rest that he could get. They had opted to tell people that questioned about Nick's health that he had Mononucleosis. The disease could easily account for his tiredness and general malaise.
"Mono?" the manager asked. "Isnīt that like the Kis--"
"The kissing disease, yeah," Brian laughed nervously. "Yes it's like Nick to get something like that." As on cue both Kevin and Howie grinned. AJ did not.
"MONO!" AJ spat. "He is in a fucking hospital that's where he is, getting some poison pumped into his freaking body!" Staring widely at the people in the room he continued, "Jeeze Brian when are you ever going to accept the fact that Nick doesn't have some kind of fucking monoclou..or what the fuck- disease?" His level of his voice raised.
"ALEXANDER!" Kevin was using his first name, very upset. Howie was doing his best to calm his friend down, by holding him in his arm.
AJ, in no state to be calmed down, shrugged Howie's hand off like it was a fly. "Fuck D' leave me alone," he snarled back. Turning towards Brian and Kevin he continued, "Why the hell are you so afraid to use the proper term? Can't you get into your fat heads that Nick is fucking dying?"
Upon hearing the last word getting uttered there was a dead silence in the room. All eyes turned towards the small man with the tatoos. Kevin who realized that AJ was treading on thin ice tried to do his best to smooth the situation.
"He isnīt dying AJ," he said silently as he gave his rebellious friend a hard glare. "Heīs got mono and you know that." "Heīs got NO FUCKING MONO!" AJ yelled even louder. "Heīs got CANCER and that is one hell of a difference!" A sound went through the room as the last words were uttered. When it was too late, AJ realized what he had done. He had spilled the secret and this time there was no way he could take it back. "Well fuck this!" AJ growled before he rushed out of the room, slamming the door hard behind him.
There was dead silence as all stared at the closed door in front of them, not knowing what to say or do. Howie was the first to say something.
"Donīt mind him," he smiled nervously as he fluttered with his eyes in the way that only he mustered when he was upset about something. "AJ woke up in a bad mood." Thinking for a second he added, "Misses Sarah you know." But the personnel weren't that easily fooled and they all looked at him like they had come across the biggest scoop of the year.
"Cancer?" their manager asked, as he was too afraid or too shocked to take the dreaded word in his mouth.
Brian looked down in the floor, not answering.
Jake however was not inclined to let the topic drop as he asked once more, "Are you guys telling me that Nick has got cancer?" He stopped for a while as he awaited the answer. When nothing came and all of the men looked like they wanted to escape the situation he said, "Bone is right, ainīt he?"
It was Brian that was the one to speak up. "Mhmm," he nodded, not daring to look the rest in their eyes. His eyes were filled with tears and it said it all.
The studio producer Glenn asked silently, "What kind of cancer has he got? How bad is it?"
"Hodgkins," Kevin answered shortly, "and yes it's bad." There was no need to hide it anymore. The secret was out now and all of the men feared that this was just the beginning of what to follow.
"Okay," Jake asked, still not knowing what to think or do, "and how long did you guys plan on keeping this as a secret?"
"If AJ hadnīt opened his big mouth there's no telling. But now it will soon be out in the open and that is the last thing that Nick needs right now. He needs peace and quiet so he can rest." There was anger in Kevin's voice as he uttered the words.
"Is it really true then? That Nick is dying, I mean?" A girl's voice was heard in the room and all eyes turned towards the teenage girl in the back. They were a bit surprised to find a teen among the personnel. When had she entered the picture they had no idea. "Melissa!" A bald headed man said as he took the teen's arm. Turning to the rest of them he appologized, "Iīm so sorry but my daughter can be a bit too forward sometimes." He laughed nervously as he gave his daughter a hard glare.
The teen had no intention to stop and she said once again, "Is Nick suffering from a terminal disease?"
"No." Howie was a bit too fast with the answer.
"Not?" the girl continued and Kevin looked like he wanted to strangle this person too. "I heard that Hodgkins can be pretty bad, and I read somewhere that Nick has been very sick."
"Who the hell is this?" Kevin growled upon hearing those words.
"So then it is true?" the girl was acting like a reporter, her dad kept "shushing" her all the time.
"That is enough!" The father's tone was hard. He looked appologetically at the men, "Excuse me Mr. Richardson, but my daughter heard that you were recording and I brought her with me." The bald headed technician was red with embarressment.
"A fan? Figures!" Jake muttered as he waved to the door. "Well Frank get her out of her." The bald headed man nodded frantically as he pulled at his daughter's arm. "Come on Melissa lets go."
"No!" she wailed, having no intention to leave when she had found out the best news there was. This was something that her friends on the backstreet board and the Dailey board would love to hear about. Frank, dragged his screaming teenage daughter out of the room, all while appologizing for her behavoir.
"Itīs fine," Howie said with a sigh. He knew that there was just a time limit they could keep this all a secret and they were already running on over time, "as long as you dont say this to anyone." Melissa however wasnīt responding as she was already out of the room.
When the worst turbulence had died down Jake turned towards them, "Do you guys have any idea what this could mean?" He was shaking his head as he talked slowly.
"What do you mean by that?" This time it was Brian's time to say something.
"That you..hrm..how am I going to say this..that you.." Jake who was a man that rarely had trouble talking was stuttering wildly.
"That we might not be able to end the album you mean?" Brian took the words out of the studio producer's mouth who gaped.
"No..eh..actually YES!" Jake agreed, looking a bit in distress.
"Well for your information Bone overexaggurated like he always does. Yes Nick is sick. He is at the hospital, getting radiation, but he is getting better. Stronger each day." That was a lie and he knew it, yet he couldn't afford anymore rumors spreading around. It might hurt them. Hurt their album. Hurt their lives.
"Is that true?" Jake looked doubtful.
"So Nick isn't dying then?" Jake wanted to make sure that his client wasnt going to back out off him. His promoters had invested lots of money into this latest album. The Backsteet Boys were not as popular as they always had been and there had to be some convincing that the group would actually do another album. The breaking up news was spread around the world and served to make more harm that they could ever believe.
As Brian was about to open his mouth to give away a negative response to the last question someone said from the door.
"Says who?"
Eight pair of eyes turned towards the doorway where the boy in question stood looking over the crowd with such calm that they all got silent again. His face was drawn and gaunt and there was an expression of pain in his eyes. Yet he looked at them all, one by one before finally saying.
"No Jake," he said with firm determination, "Iīm not dying." A sigh of relief washed over the room, deafening words that he uttered as he closed the door behind him. "I hope."
