"God Bone stop pacing back and forth, you're making me seasick," Nick moaned laying on the bed in the small hospital room, waiting for a doctor to come and check him out. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to block out the pain as well as AJīs restless moves. When it didnīt work he tried desperately to focus on something else that was calm and wasnīt moving all the time. This was a trick that he had practiced many times when he was feeling under the weather on stage. Always focus on something else but the audience. Focus on the light instead.
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didnīt. Today it was the latter.
Feeling hot and queasy he noticed that the pain in his stomach wasnīt getting any better. He felt tired and if he hadnīt hurt so much he would have tried to take a nap. Sleep was something that he could never get enough off. Ironically sleep was the one thing that he never got to do during the Backstreet years, and now it was what he was doing ALL the time. The IV the paramedic had put in his hand itched badly and he had to stop himself from scratching it. Maybe it had been foolish not to tell them that he had a port in his chest, but that would have revealed too much information. Nick shivered slightly. He wanted nothing more than to get out of this place.
Hospitals sucked!
He seemed to spend more and more time at hospitals. Even more time than he was spending at his own home. This was making him sick and tired. Tired of always feeling like hell. Tired of that everytime he thought that he was getting better and that he was heading towards remission there would always be something that set him back. This was the same pattern that had followed him throughout the life. Whenever it was time for some special event he got sick or hurt or had a nervous breakdown. It was like his body couldnīt cope with success!
Just when he thought that he was riding on the top of the waves he was brutally thrown into the ocean, fighting for his life again. Afraid of drowning.
"Sorry man," AJ muttered as he continued the pace, reminding Nick of a caged animal. "I really need a smoke." He ran a nervous hand through his short hair. "This place gives me the creeps."
"Well no one is stopping you to get out of here." Nick muttered as he sarcastically yanked with his free hand on the IV line as if it were a chain, "At least Iīm not going anywhere."
"I know dude, but I donīt want to leave you alone." AJ looked towards the doors, "What the hell is taking them so long, weīve been here like an hour now."
"Fifteen minutes Bone, fifteen." Nick sighed, "Bone, Iīm not a kid. If you wanna get a smoke, get one. I can manage for a while. GO!" He ushered his friend out with a wave of his hand into the air.
AJ hestitated for a moment, his desire to smoke suddenly overtaking him. Then he stopped like he was re-thinking his moves, "No can do. Iīm staying here Kaos. Whether you like it or not!"
Nick sighed again. If he was stubborn it was nothing compare to J! "Man, you have quite a gash on your forehead. You should let someone look at it." He pointed at the gash on the left side of AJīs temple. A slight trickle of fresh blood ran from it and dried up blood coated the wound.
"What?" AJ jerked, feeling his forehead. When his hand came away wet from blood, he looked at it, startled, " Oh shit Iīm bleeding!" Nick noticed his friend suddenly becoming pale. Blood had never settled that well with his friend, and to tell the truth it hadnīt been with himself either. They were both a bit squemish which had often amused the rest of the guys and there was more than one occassion that they had been teased about this.
"Dude, sit down! You look like you are about to pass out," Nick said a bit worried when he saw how the older man had stopped pacing, staring ahead. He tilted slightly. "Maaan.." He felt scared. What if AJ passed out? When he was stuck in this room!
"NO...no Iīm fine," AJ mumbled, waving Nick's concerns off.
He stumbled a bit having Nick yelling, "NO Bone, youīre not fine. Sit down before you..awww FUCK!"
Alexander James McClean was passed out. Flat on the floor!
"Damn!" This wasnīt happening. Nick groaned, being in no shape to deal with a passed out AJ. The way he was feeling he was in absolutly NO shape to run around and look for help, yet there was no way that he was going to ignore his friend either. He tried to mentally tell himself that it was the sight of blood that had his friend passing out. Yet there was an annoying feeling that there could be more than meets the eye. After all AJ had hit his head pretty hard in the car accident.
Staring at the skinny man that laid passed out on the hard linoleum floor he felt like the seconds were like hours. With his hand that wasnīt attatched to the IV he pressed the call button, hoping that help would be coming for them. A cold shiver ran down his spine when he saw his friend laying there, lifeless. "AJ." He called out repeatedly. No one was coming and he had to get help. Looking at his IV he closed his eyes and then ripped the needle out. Instantly blood started to trickle and he felt nauseaous both from the fright and the pain. His hand stung from the ripped out IV and after wrapping his hand up in a tissue he jumped off the bed, hunching down next to AJ. The movement made his stomach ache fiercefully and sweat pearled over his forehead. If he hadnīt been so concerned he would think that he had passed out too. From pain and fatigue.
"Bone... Dude. Wake up," he patted gently his friend's clammy and cool cheek. Frowning. This was not a good sign. What if AJ had really hurt his head in the car crash? A concussion?
AJ made no movement and he knew that he had to get help.
Crap!
He was as fast as he could on his feet and out of the room. The corridor was empty and there was no one that he could call for help. Desperation grew when he walked, almost ran down the empty corridor in hopes of finding someone that could help his brother out. Where was everyone?
This was starting to feel like a bad Stephen King movie!
People, male and females, dressed in white coats and scrubs were running in and out of rooms. Not one paid any attention to the young blonde barefoot guy who walked slightly hunched over with sweat running down his temples, hand wrapped up in a paper tissue. If just one person would have stopped to talk to him they would have noticed how pastey grey he was becoming and they would have run for his aid.
There had been a big bus accident, involving several people and the injured were taken into ER mostly for quick evaluations and bandages. People were shouting, running and to an outlooker this scenario was very hectic. For the personnel over at this ER it was just another ordinary day.
"Hello?? Can you help me??" Nick cried out as he stumbled like a blind man through the corridor. A nurse came running down the corridor and he tried to get her attention. "Excuse me," he shouted, "Can you help me?"
The dark skinned nurse looked at him momentarily, giving him a brief smile, "No sorry honey, you have to talk with reception." Then she was gone again.
Nick was getting annoyed. "Bad service," he muttered to himself. As far as he knew AJ could lay there dying and not one person cared to help him out. Darkly he thought that if they knew who he was, they would treat him with more respect. With hell more respect. They would be kissing his ass!
Walking down the corridor, it hurt too much to run, it felt like an eternity. An eternity that was in real life just a few minutes. He felt invisible. People were running past him and just when he thought that not one person would pay any attention to him an orderly not that far from Brian's age asked, "Are you looking for someone?" his brown eyes looking at Nick expectantly.
Nick feeling a bit confused from the pain and the shock that was starting to set in, stared at the man with glazed fevered eyes, "My..my friend passed out. Can you please help me?"
The orderly looked at him strangely, "Passed out?" Narrowing his eyes he took in Nick's dishelved appearance, "Are you on something? Crack?"
"Jeeze..nooo." Why did they all think that he was on drugs? He shook his head, grabbing the orderlies arm, "I was in a car accident and J hurt his head and then he passed out and.." He didnīt get to end his sentence before the man interrupted him.
"A head injury? Show me that room will ya?"
"Okay," Nick wasted no time dragging the orderly towards their room. Opening the door he expected to find AJ still passed out and instead he found him sitting a bit disoriented on the floor, holding his head in his hands.
"Jay!" Nick called out rushing over to his friend. AJ wasnīt as happy to see him.
"Where the hell did you go?" he snarled when he saw his friend hunch down beside him, pointing to the other man he said, "and who the fuck is that?"
"That's no way to talk," Nick said a bit embarrassed. AJ could be such a potty mouth but he had never heard him bark in that way to a total stranger. This was off even for AJ. He was acting more strange than usual.
AJ glared angrily at Nick, "And you shouldnīt be out of bed!"
"What do you mean?" Nick's voice went up a notch in the way it always did when he felt upset over something. "You were the one that passed out, not me." He drew his breath back, "I got scared and went to get you some help. There is no need to be shouting at ME."
The orderly sensing the tension in the situation said, "Iīm Jim and your friend is right, he was looking for help." He hunched down beside AJ too. "Are you hurt?"
Not answering the last question AJ muttered, "Whatever." He tried to stand on wobbly legs just to sink back again. The orderly sensing his patient's attention was there with a supporting arm.
AJ however stared at the reached out hand like it was poison, not very co-operative at all. "Get the fuck off me." He growled loudly, janking his arm away.
"AJ!" Nick was puzzled over his friend's behavoir.
Jim looked at the blonde pale man, "Itīs okay I can handle this." Turning to the angry man he continued, "Take it easy man. This guy was just trying to help you. He told me that you were in a car accident and that you hit your head and that you passed out."
"Iīm fine," AJ snapped. "Now get off my case."
"Youīre far from fine." Nick's voice was a mixture of fatigue and fright. "Passing out is not fine."
"Ha ha ha, like you are the one that should talk." He then shrugged, "So? Iīm no fucking cripple that needs someone to babysit me." He hoisted himself up by holding onto the bed, standing up on wobbly legs.
Nick shrugged. He never understood AJ, never had, never will. Blushing he turned to the orderly with an appologetic smile, "Bone can be bad, but he never acted like this before."
"Thatīs okay," the orderly said as he steadied the angry man who tilted for a second. "Whoaa there. Take it easy." He frowned, "You need to have someone look after that gash. You could have a concussion."
Nick paled. AJ...concussion?
"I told you I was fine didnīt I?" AJ barked, pointing at Nick who had sat down on the bed again. Suddenly looking like a ghost. "He is the man you should be concerned about. Not me."
"Oh okay," the orderly turned to the young man, who he had first thought looked like he was high on something, then he noticed that he was not well either. His ghastly white complexion scared him him a bit. "Man you donīt look so good either. I better get some help."
Nick could do nothing but nod. His head ached even if it was nothing compared to the summersaults his stomach did. Biting his lip he tried to act as casual as he could, but it was hard when all he wanted to do was lay down, curl up into a ball and cry. Whenever someone else beside him was sick or hurt Nickīs nerves went all jittery and seeing AJ acting so irrational scared him.
It was something in his friend's eyes that scared him. Greatly!
"He..he..he really hi..hit his head in the wi..window. It sounded like a real crack" Nick stuttered. Why he sometimes did this when he was upset or nervous he had no idea. It just came upon him and he had cussed this many times through out the years. Bugging him.
"You did?" Jim was getting concerned over the tatooed man again, his head going back and forth to the man like he was at a tennis game.
Suddenly all defensive AJ growled, "I told you to get off my case, didnīt I?" he flared with his arm towards the orderly in a threatning gesture. The big man backed away.
"Bone!" Nick cried out. His friend was never violent. He could be pushy and have a bad attitude but it was rare that the skinny man ever took a swing at someone.
"Calm it down buddy," the orderly said softly trying to get a grip on the flayling arms, but AJ was not in any shape or form to hold down.
"Get the fuck away," he hissed as he waved with his arms.
Nick felt so scared, "What is wrong with him?" he mumbled not understanding the sudden change in his friend's mood. He had seen AJ acting like this before. When drinking had gone bad or when he was high off his ass from coke. Bone was a pretty laid back guy that took it easy in life, but sometimes had his moments of pure craziness. It was like it was a plug that needed to be released ever so often. Nick was the same, but not in the same way as the older man.
Bone hadnīt been that easy to deal with during his drug abuse. He had acted like he had owned the whole world and to name him being an ass was just to put it mildly.
Jim stopped for a moment as he ducked for one more of the small mans hits, "Youīre sure that he isnīt on something?"
"NO!" Nick was getting impatient, "I told you that he wasnīt. We weīre riding in a car when someone just hit us and BANG we felt a jolt and then we were brought here." He was getting sick to have to tell the story all over again. The pain in his stomach was getting worse by the moment and he had a hard time breathing. He had to have hit his stomach pretty hard to feel this shitty.
"Okay," Finally Jim seemed to have heard enough, "Iīm calling for backup." He moved slowly towards the door, watching AJ all the time, waiting for his next move.
Nick nodded. This was all starting to get to him. Becoming too much.
"Hey you where are you going?" AJ shouted, a wild look in his eyes. He made a move towards the big man.
"Nowhere," Jim said, as he backed away slowly towards the door. The skinny man was much too agitated to be left alone with the young blonde. Yet he had to get back up since previous experience told him that dealing with people like this was never easy. There was no telling what they would do. Jim suspected that this was due to the head injury that the older man seemed to have sustained. He had seen this in patients before. A concussion causing them to become disoriented and then agitated.
The blonde man didnīt seem to be any better off. He was very pale too, sickly pale and there was something familiar over his whole apparences. Jim had worked in the hopsital for more than two years and he recognized the sign from past experience. He had seen it in cancer patients. In Aids patients. This was the look of someone that was very sick. He couldnīt help to feel bad for the man.
He awaited the skinnier man to lash out again, instead he sank down in an armchair, very unexpectantly. Holding his head in his hands he rocked it back and forth, "Fuck my head hurts," he whispered. Gone was the agitated man.
Nick was thrown for a loop, "You have to do something," he squeeked, "there's something off with AJ. Do something." Panic was evident in the young man's voice.
The orderly nodded, satisfield that the the man had calmed down for now. "You just wait here, Iīm getting someone to look over your friend." With that he opened the door, stopping for a second like he had forgotten something. Turning back to Nick he asked, "I know that this may sound stupid but you seem so familiar." He rubbed his brown hair, "Do I know you from somewhere?"
Ok here we go! Nickīs blood froze. "No I donīt think so," he said lightly. He didnīt want the whole world to know that they were in a hospital. As soon as the media would get a hunch of them the hospital would be swooming with hungry reporters waiting for a scoop. Then his secret would be out in the open and he would never get any moment of peace again. This was something he wanted to prevent as best as he could. Not that he wanted to lie to his friends, no it was more a matter of survival. If people would be on his case all the time he wouldnīt have the time to rest and get better. Besides he would stir up so many feelings out there in his young fans.
"Okay," Jim looked at Nick one more time, "Do you know that you kind of look like that dude in that movie you know..hey what is it called." Jim thought for a few seconds, "It has something to do about a ship or a plane or something."
"A ship," AJ added with a sigh, suddenly conscious again, "Titanic... Leonardo DiCaprio."
Yeah that is it," Jim snapped with his fingers as a smile lit his lips "Yup thatīs the dude. Are you him?"
Nick shook his head. He couldnīt believe how stupid some people actually were. It wasnīt the first time that he had heard that he looked so much like Leonardo DiCaprio. Especially when he had his hair just like the actor.
"Okay." The orderly seemed a bit disappointed and just when Nick was sure that he would get outside he stopped once more. The young man groaned. What was it this time?
"Shit man," Jim called out, "now I know who you are. Youīre Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys!"
Upon hearing these words Nick felt himself blushing. he wanted to die!
