They had been waiting for close to two hours to get news about Nick's condition and they were starting to get fed up. Ever since Howie had received the message in the middle of the night that they should come to the hospital they had been sitting in the private waiting room, not being able to relax until they heard how their friend were doing. The fact that they hadn’t heard anything and the number of doctors and nurses that had been frequently visiting Nick's room was getting scarier by each passing hour and their emotions were constantly on the edge.
AJ was the first to break the silence. “D, what did they tell you when they called?” This subject had been discussed on and off ever since the call but it was as if he wasn’t satisfied with the answer, each time Howie explained. “Did they actually tell you that Kaos was dying?”
The last sentence had both Howie and Kevin jerk back and they glared at him with disgust.
“Damn could you be anymore blunt?” Kevin asked with annoyance as he looked up from the magazine he’d been reading.
Shrugging away, AJ turned toward his Latino friend again. “What was it they said to you exactly? Hell I mean, why would they want us to come down here if they’re not talking?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t know.” Howie sounded all at once very tired, almost on the verge of exhaustion. “Maybe they wanted us to come here just in case…” He ran a hand through his thick hair. “You know just in case something happened.”
“Maybe so,” the rebel remarked, “but they sure as hell have a fucking strange way of showing it to us. You might think that after sitting here for two freaking hours they would at least fill us in on some details and not just say that they would come in whenever they're available.” “All I know is that they said that Nick was in critical condition and that they wanted us to come up as fast as we could."
“If that is so,” AJ sighed. “Wouldn’t you think that they would have told us something by now?”
“No news is good news.” Kevin filled in but they could all see that this situation had taken a toll on the man, making him look older than his 30 years. Nick being sick had been very worrisome and he noticed that there was constantly a wrinkle of concern on his friend's forehead. He was more withdrawn these days. He wasn’t the outgoing person that always had a knack of finding solutions when none of the others knew what to do. It wasn’t for nothing he’d been labeled as the groups spokesperson and whenever there was a problem he was the one to talk to. Up until now…
AJ knew about those endless, sleepless nights when Kevin did nothing but dwell in the sorrow he felt for loosing his father and perhaps now his “little brother” too. He’d figured that it was taking Kevin harder than he’d ever let on.
The conversation died down again since none of them seemed to have any energy to talk about what was going on. It was early morning and still there had been no words about Nick's condition.
“I’m going down the cafeteria,” Howie said when another hour had passed. “It’s time for breakfast and it won’t do Nicky any good if we don’t take care of ourselves, so anyone coming along?” He stood up as to make his point clear.
Kevin, who had his eyes closed for the better part of the last hour, was the one to volunteer. “Sounds like a good idea.” With those words he followed towards the elevator.
This time it was AJ’s turn to snort with disgust. Here one of his best friends was lying on his death bed and all his band mates could think of was to get food. He kept staring towards the door where Nick's room was, hoping that it would open up and that he would get well needed answers.On the other hand he felt frightened to what result would come out if he knew the truth. Ever since Nick had told them that he had cancer it had been a constant battle. There were times when AJ was certain that this was it, that he wouldn’t make it over the night when the blonde had managed to get better and was out of the woods, at least for that time. This had happened more and more frequently and he had a nagging feeling that time was running out. No one could have that many chances.
Howie and Kevin returned to the private waiting room, finding an adgitated AJ McLean pacing the floor.
“This is bullshit!” AJ suddenly belted out after they hadn’t heard any information about Nick's condition for a long time. “I’m going to talk with those nurses,” he nodded towards the nurse station further down the hall. “They gotta tell me something. They know us by now so there shouldn’t be any problems.” Standing up he asked, “Anyone coming with me?”
Neither Howie nor Kevin showed much interest as they were nursing a cup of coffee and AJ mumbled something about having to do it all by himself and then walked off.
“Do you think this is very serious?” The Latino asked when AJ left the waiting room.
Looking up, his forehead wrinkled and eyes filled with pain and sorrow, Kevin nodded. “Yeah.” His voice was nothing but a whisper. “A bone marrow transplant can be very taxing for the body and Nick wasn't very strong health wise to begin with, so any sort of complications can be dangerous.”
“Yeah....I guess you’re right.” Howie nodded. There was not much to be said at this point and any attempt of conversation seemed to die down the moment it started. Silence was the only thing that could answer for how much sorrow they were feeling deep inside and it was as if all energy went to try and adjust to the situation at hand.
AJ suddenly burst through the door. “This is pure bullshit!” He sounded very upset. “Here we’ve been for what is it…almost a year and now they won’t reveal shit about Nicky, saying that only close family is allowed to know anything.” He mimicked the nurse who he’d talked to. “They say its new hospital procedures....HIPPA or something like that.” Slamming a fist at the doorjam he went on. “Then why the hell do they bother to call us down here if they not going to say anything to us about it?” Anger was just the prelogue to what he was feeling.
Kevin, who seemed to be in another world, far away, didn’t even blink at the outburst that was taking place in the waiting room. Howie on the other hand felt it was best to calm down the situation a notch.
“Take it easy buddy, “ Howie said, putting his arm around the young man's shoulder. “It won’t do you any good to be this worked up.” With his calming tone he talked AJ out of the anger that he harbored deep inside.
Once the situation was back to a calmer level and they had all sat down again, outburst forgotten, AJ suddenly asked, “D, why do you think that they have this damned secrecy now, when they told us everything before?” He let out a breath, “You don’t think that it has to do with Nick being on the verge of dying, do you?” Fright shone in his eyes as he uttered the words.
“I don’t know.” Howie sighed, wishing that there was an easy answer to this question. All of a sudden last nights events caught up with him and despair dwelled over him like a bucket of cold water. “I really don’t know.”
There were no easy answers to this question.
Time passed much too slowly but no one said anything, not until a middle aged man, grey haired with glasses walked in.
“Good morning, I’m Doctor Griffin,” he introduced himself formally. “I was informed that you wanted to know about a certain patient and his condition.”
AJ didn’t waste any time to ask about Nick's condition.
“How is he?” Seeing the confusion on the doctor's face he added, “Nickolas Gene Carter I mean.”
“You’re all here for Mr. Carter?”
“Yes,” they all said eagerly, voice in a chorus. “How is he doing?”
Not answering the question the doctor frowned. “You’re all his family?”
“No we’re Nick's friends.”
“Friends?” The doctor frowned. “You’re not his family then?”
“Eh…uh..not really.” AJ didn’t know what to say to that. Nick often told them that they were his only family and in a situation like this it actually looked as if that would be the right words for it. Neither of the Carters were at the hospital even though the men knew that they had been asked to come right away.
“I see…” The doctor rubbed his forehead tiredly. They could see that he’d been working all night and his gruelling shift was finally coming to an end. “I’m sorry but I can't discuss anything but to close family.”
“But we’re his family,” AJ interrupted. “His our little brother.”
The doctor didn’t look too amused. “Either you are or you’re not family. How should it be?”
“We’re in a band together.” Kevin as always did his best to explain about to situation and the doctor listened with half an ear.
“I’m sorry,” he said after the Kentuckian stopped talking. “It’s hospital procedure and I can’t reveal any information to anyone beside next of kin or a patient advocate.
“That’s bullshit,” AJ blasted out, irritation shining in his eyes. “You call us here because it’s a medical emergency and now you can’t say a damn thing. Just pure crap!” The sudden realization that the doctor uttered the phrase next of kin sent chills down the rebel's spine. "You said next of kin....Nick's not....he's not dead is he?"
The doctor looked as if he had enough. "I've had enough of your nonsense. When a real family member stops in, have them check in at the nurses station....good day." As the doctor made his way toward the doorway, the door swung open and in walked Jane Carter, looking as if she had just rolled out of bed, her black hair a windblown mess.
“How is he doing? How is my baby?”
"Well look who pulled their head out of their ass---"
Jane clutched a hand to her chest. "How dare you talk to me like that!"
"Nick is your goddamn son Jane....we were called at 3 o'clock in the goddamned morning!"
"AJ! That's enough!" Kevin growled, as he placed a hand on the rebel's arm.
AJ pushed Kevin away. "No! She needs to hear this! Where the fuck do you come off in waiting until 8:30 to come in to see how Nick is?"
"AJ, she had to get a flight in," Howie defended.
"I'm in LA," Jane reminded.
AJ folded his arms over his chest. "Yeah...that's right, you are in LA....you should be in Florida."
Tears were forming in the older woman's eyes. "I was in LA because Nicky asked me to go back to California."
"Since when did you ever listen to him?" the rebel spat.
"You're not being fair," Jane sniffed.
"Just calm down AJ, badgering Jane isn't going to make the situation better," Kevin directed.
The older woman adjusted white Angora sweater around her waist. "So where is my Nicky? Can I see him?"
"Doubt it," AJ snapped.
"What he means, Mrs. Carter," Howie stepped between the older woman and AJ. "Is that no one has been in to see Nick ever since we got here."
"No one has been allowed to see him yet," Kevin added.
Jane put a hand ontop of her chest. "Oh my God," she whispered.
Howie placed a comforting hand on the older woman's arm. "Don't jump to conclusions yet, I think it may be because they've been busy with Nick. I have seen a lot of nurses coming and going from his room."
"There was a jackass that came in a few minutes ago....."
"AJ.....let it go!" Kevin warned.
"You know....I could go get the doctor that was in here a few minutes ago, remember he refused to talk to us because we weren't family," Howie reminded.
Kevin started toward the door. "That's right! I'll be right back."
"Would you like a cup of coffee?" Howie offered as he made his way toward the coffee maker that was situated in the corner of the waiting room.
Jane nodded as she sat on the edge of a couch. "Please."
AJ flashed a cheesy smile toward the Latino. "I'll take one too."
"Get your own...I'm not waiting on you," Howie replied. "I keep forgetting, do you take cream or sugar?"
"Two sugars."
Kevin entered the room with Dr. Griffin. "Doctor, this is Jane Carter, Nick's mother."
The older man looked at Jane for a moment before offering his hand out. "Hello Mrs. Carter, I'm Dr. Griffin, one of the physicians that have been assigned to your son's care."
Jane flashed a tight smile at the doctor as she shook his hand. "He has so many people taking care of him....it's so hard to keep track."
"It's alright, I'm the program director for Tampa General Hospital's BMT progam."
Jane eyed the man from head to toe. "So you're the head of the doctors?"
Dr. Griffin shook his head. "No, just the Bone Marrow Transplant progam. I oversee the medical staff in this area of treatment."
"So you basically take care of paperwork," Jane said flatly.
Again, the doctor shook his head. "I do patient care as well as oversee the medical staff. I am qualifiied."
Listening to Jane Carter's side of the conversation, Kevin's face flushed with embarrassment. He glanced over toward AJ when he noticed the rebel was starting to open his mouth and shot him a warning.
Howie was becoming nervous at the woman's interrogations. "Can you tell her about Nick's condition?"
The doctor's face relaxed, thankful for the interruption. He sighed before he started to speak. "Nick has been a difficult patient as far as post BMT has gone. The seizures have been kept down---"
"SEIZURES!?"
The doctor looked surprised. "You didn't know about the seizures?"
"Actually Jane, we only found out about them the other day from Brian," Kevin filled in.
"He has experienced seizures due to high fever but we are running more IV fluids that have kept his fever down," Dr. Griffin reassured. "It has been touch and go for this young man and although his body hasn't attacked the new bone marrow, it hasn't seem to be accepting it as of yet. I'm afraid with the fevers it is indicating to me that his system is starting to reject the donated bone marrow."
The tension that settled over the waiting room was so thick it could be cut with a knife. The doctor placed a hand lightly on Jane Carter's forearm. "I'm sorry."
Nothing more was said. Dr. Griffin flashed a tight smile to the men that had been Nick's brothers for more than ten years that stood numb, too shell-shocked to utter a word. Finally it was AJ that broke the cold silence.
"How long?" he rasped.
Dr. Griffin shook his head. "I'm not sure and I don't like to place time, that is in God's hands."
AJ clenched his jaw. "Give us some kine of a goddamn clue."
Dr. Griffin removed his glasses as he stared down the tattooed rebel. "It could be hours...days...I'm not sure, Nick has been unpredictible and I hope he'll prove us wrong---"
"You don't even know him! He WILL prove you wrong!"
Kevin clamped a strong hand on AJ's shoulder. "Thank you doctor," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Do you think we can go see Nick?"
Dr. Griffin sighed. "Yes...yes you may, but one at a time. I will let the nurse know....you will still have to use isolation precautions." Without saying anything further, the elderly doctor left the room.
"Jane, I'm going to go outside and try to reach Brian again," Kevin said as he rubbed the older woman on the shoulder.
"I'll go with you, I need a cigarette," AJ said as he made his way toward the door.
"No AJ, you need to stay with Howie," Kevin stated firmly. As soon as AJ opened his mouth to object, Kevin gaze went direct toward Jane Carter, her head bowed down as she cried silently. He looked back over at AJ. After a few moments, Kevin's intentions finally sunk in.
"Yeah, I guess I should stay back here," AJ said as he made his way back toward the coffee pot.
A young woman dressed in dark green scrubs stood in the doorway. "Mrs. Carter....come with me, I'll take you to get gowned up."
Instead of following the woman, Jane stayed in her seat, eyes staring at the young woman. "H-howie, you go in to see Nicky first, I'm not ready....I can't see him just yet...."
