Instead of a warm greeting from Nick that both Bob Carter and Brian Littrell had been anticipating, all they received was a cold stare at their faces. The icy reception was felt even by Kevin and he quickly attempted to make everyone feel comfortable.
“Hey.....I’m surprised you’re here so early.”
Nick glared at Kevin. “You knew they were coming?”
“Kinda....sorta, no big deal.”
“Mom must have sent you here to talk me into going out to LA,” Nick mumbled.
Bob shook his head negatively in reply. “No, I just wanted to stop in before we leave.”
Nick’s hardened expression softened. “You’re leaving?”
“I’m sorry to say, yes. But it’s not because of the words you and your mother had,” Bob quickly added. “Aaron has a recording session that has been scheduled for months and the producers were very adamant that he keep the schedule and you know how producers are....well them and your mother.”
“I guess.”
“We don’t plan on being away from you for too long though, son. I’m really having a hard time leaving the way things are right now.”
“Maybe it’s better this way dad,” Nick reassured. “I’m not much company as it is and I think I can do better without everyone around, I sorta feel like I have to be doing things when people are around, ya know?”
“Besides, I’ll still be here for you, right Nick?” Brian added quietly.
Nick shook his head. “You should be home with Leighanne not here with me and you know it, dammit.”
“She’s been doing fine and I’m only a phone call away,” Brian stated as he patted his pager that was strapped to his belt.
“But still...”
Kevin interrupted Nick. “Hey Nick, me and Bri are gonna go down to the cafeteria and grab a cup of coffee and let you and your dad talk, okay?”
Before Nick had time to object, Brian followed his cousin out of the room, leaving Bob alone with Nick for the first time in months. Bob Carter took a couple of hesitant steps toward the empty chair that was next to his son’s hospital bed. He sat for a few moments, his head bowed, praying for words of wisdom to enter his head.
“Nick.....leaving you right now I think is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. I’ve stood by your mother in so many things but you have to believe me that when she told me about her contacting another specialist, I was in shock. Your mother really does care about you, she just has a funny way of showing it, I guess.”
“Dad I.....”
Mr. Carter held up a hand to quiet his son. “Let me finish. What I wanted to say to you but more important, what I needed to tell you is that I am totally against what you mother was trying to do. I fully respect your decisions and your wishes with this ca..ca...”
“Cancer,” Nick finished the word that his father kept choking on.
Bob laid a hand on the side of the bed. “I just feel so torn right now it’s unbelievable.”
Nick placed a hand ontop of his father’s. “It’s okay dad, I know what you mean.”
As he looked at his son, his eyes brimming with unshed tears, mirroring Nick’s eyes. Both men stared for a few moments, not uttering a single word, no words needed to be said, they knew each other’s thoughts the only way a father and son could.
After a few moments of silence, Bob noticed that Nick’s color had started to look ashen. “Are you alright?”
Nick shook his head no. The feelings that he had hoped had left him for good had suddenly surfaced and it took everything in his body to try to wish the nausea away. He knew the repeated cycle. With the nausea came the vomiting.
Nonstop.
“Did I upset you in some way?”
Again, Nick could only shake his head no. He was afraid if he opened his mouth to speak that it would trigger vomiting. He had thought this had left him for good and now for no reason at all, it was upon him again.
“Do you want me to get a nurse?”
Nick’s eyes quickly scanned the table and his bedstand looking for a basin to throw up in. He akwardly reached out for the desired object only to sent it to the floor on the opposite side of the bed from where his father was standing.
The dry heaves that started set Bob into motion, practically running to the other side of the bed to retrieve the basin. He quickly shoved it underneath Nick’s chin in time to catch the first round of saliva and bile that was coming up.
“I can’t stand this....I’m going to get a nurse!”
Nick was too preoccupied in trying to gasp for air to protest his father’s urgency in finding a nurse. Being through this so many times before, Nick knew that this was yet another wave that would have to run it’s course before he would get any respite.
It seemed like his father had only left the room two seconds ago when he came rushing back in....and much to Nick’s dismay, he had the ‘old bitch of a nurse’ in tow.
“I’ve never seen him this sick before, something isn’t right!”
“Mr. Carter, I can assure you that this is absolutely normal for chemo patients and I might add that Nick has just administered his vitamins and potassium into his IV pack so that would tend to cause stomach upset for a little bit. This is nothing to be concerned over.”
Nick did his best to block out the nurse sharing his condition with his father as he continued to dry heave.
“But he can’t even catch his breath.......there has to be something you can give him!”
Nick wanted to argue with his father that the only things they can give him wind up making him so sleepy that he can’t keep his eyes open. Granted he was sick of heaving but he was even more sick of sleeping 20 hours a day.
“I can administer a combination of anti-nausea meds, it will take a few moments for me to draw them up,” the nurse stated.
“I don’t care how long it takes, just do something NOW!”
“D-Dad.....d-d-don’t,” Nick choked out as he tried to catch his breath.
“It’s alright, she’s going to make it stop,” Bob said as he rubbed his son’s back with a gentle touch.
The nurse reappeared, three syringes in her gloved hand. Laying them onto the table, she expertly wiped off an area on the IV line. With a swift motion, she uncapped the first syringe with her teeth as she held the line with one hand and the sryinge in the other.
“He’s never had this mixture before, but in my years of oncology nursing, this is the stuff that stops almost everything. I really don’t know why they haven’t tried this on him yet,” the nurse explained as she picked up the second syringe.
Nick could feel a funny cool feeling in his chest where the IV was connected in the port; the medication going into his bloodstream. By the time the third syringe full of medication was pushed into the IV line, true to the nurse’s words, his nausea vanished and was replaced with a different feeling.
Trying to recall when he felt the way he was feeling at that moment, Nick could only remember the one time he had been out with AJ and had been persuaded to try marijuana - He had felt like he was floating and at the same time had a “shit faced grin” pasted on his mouth for several hours, as he recalled. At this very moment, the meds the nurse had given him made him feel totally relaxed and almost like he was floating above his body.
“Feeling better Nick?” the nurse questioned as she fussed with the collar on the hospital gown.
“Oh yeah,” Nick replied in a sing-song voice. “I feel wuunnderfullllll.”
Bob Carter held a worried expression on his face as he looked at Nick’s cheeky grin. “He looks like he’s high.”
“What on earth did you give him?” he questioned.
“An anti-nausea cocktail.....something I’ve been giving my patients for years,” the nurse stated defensively.
“But is he suppose to act this strange?”
The woman pushed the empty syringes into the sharps box on the wall in a hurried motion. “Everyone responds differntly.....Nick just chooses to be relaxed and considering what was going on with him a half an hour ago, I’d say this is much better, don’t you think Nick?”
Turning his head to look at the woman, a lopside grin was on his face. “Yep.”
The nurse looked at her patient’s father. “See?”
“All I can see is that Nick is medicated out of his mind. Look at him! He’s stoned!"
The nurse stopped short of the door and turned around to face the older man. “Nick is in a secure hospital setting and like I just told you, every patient reacts to medications differently. He’s never had something like this before so his body isn’t used to it. I think my years of experience as an oncology nurse far outweighs your experience of being his friend. I’m doing what I think is best for my patient and by the looks of things right now, Nick is doing far better than he was ten minutes ago straining to vomit on an empty stomach. Now if you don’t mind, I have other patients to attend to.”
With her speech being said, the nurse stormed out of the room.
Bob Carter shifted his weight as he stood next to his son’s bedside. “She sure has a way with words, doesn’t she? Old nurses are always set in their ways. She probably knows what’s best.”
“Guess you won’t be able to have that talk with me now,” Bob stated quietly to his son.
“Whaddup dad?”
“I really doubt you’re up to any type of conversation right now son, we’ll chat tomorrow.”
Nick smiled slightly as he closed his eyes. Within a few moments, he was snoring quietly.
“Well he ended his side of the conversation pretty fast, didn’t he?” Brian announced as he entered the room.
Bob Carter drew the blankets gently up onto his son’s chest. “I just feel so helpless around my own son. It’s like I’m a stranger to him.”
Kevin placed a hand lightly on the older man’s shoulder. “Nick has always been so quiet about himself, more so now than ever, don’t feel like he’s pushing you away. He needs you, he really does.”
“Did the talk go okay?” Brian asked.
The older man shook his head sadly. “No, we never really got the chance to talk. He started getting sick and I had his nurse take care of him.”
Kevin’s eyes widened. “He got sick again?”
Bob Carter gave a slight nod of agreement, shuddering at the memory. “Unfortunately, yes. I’ve never seen it so bad. He couldn’t breathe.”
The three stood for a few moments, looking down at Nick. Brian broke the silence. “I wish he would get better....this really isn’t fair to him....he’s been through so much already.”
“What time are you leaving in the morning?” Kevin asked, breaking the tension that was hanging in the room.
“I’m not going.....Jane and the kids can go but I think it’s best if I stay here.”
“Oh?”
“I want to be with my son..... I care about my children and I’ve been away from Nick for too long and he needs me as much as I need him.”
