There was a pain unlike anything he had ever felt before. A stinging sensation in his lungs made it hard to breath and he found himself struggling for air. Even though he wasnīt conscious he could hear people talking in a rushed tone beside him but he could do nothing to get their attention. Instead it was like he was stuck in a vacuum. A place in-between life and death.
When he thought that he couldnīt take the pain any longer it suddenly lessened and was replaced by a warm and cozy feeling. The seering pain that had taken over his body was gone and there was a weird sensation in his head.
He could feel himself lifting off the table.
Confused over this new ability he felt like he was flying and to his surprise he noticed that it was like he had left his body. Looking down he saw the doctors and nurses working on him, frantically shouting words to each other. He wanted to tell them to stop. To slow down since he was feeling just fine and there was no use in working on that shell that laid on the operating table, but no matter how he tried no words could come over his lips.
The sensation of flying became even stronger and soon he was high above the trees, looking at everyone, noticing that the houses and trees and people were small like toothpicks. He was so high up that he could reach the clouds with his bare hands. Much higher than the birds. A feeling of freedom washed over him and there was no bounds, nothing that could stop him from rising higher. Nothing could stop him from reaching God.
But suddenly the feeling was replaced with another and he found himself walking in a tunnel. A dark tunnel with light at the end of it. He felt scared but at the same time curious over what the light on the other side could bring him and an unknown force kept pushing him forward. He didnīt have to think twice since instinctively he knew where he was. He was in the tunnel of death and the further he walked the closer he came to the light and away from the pain that had filled his last months. But at the same time he walked further away from life.
'So this is what itīs like to be dead,' Nick found himself thinking as he continued his journey towards freedom and salvation.
On the sides of the tunnel there were shadows lurking in the darkness and they were whispering something to him. Ignoring them he continued his journey further in and soon he was so close on the edge of crossing over that nothing could stop him from taking that step. As he reached the light he could see that it was water, unlike any water that he had ever seen before and the first thought that crossed his mind was how was he going to cross the other side because he had no boat. As if someone had read his thoughts a figure came towards him in the light, standing on a boat. There was something peaceful and welcoming over the person and to his surprise he noticed that the man looked like the pictures he had seen of Jesus in his schoolbooks and when the man reached out his hand to help him aboard the boat he felt like his long journey had finally come to an end.
He had come home.
The voices in the background that had been nothing but a whisper suddenly rose in volume and he could hear them loud and clear. They were calling his name, wanting him to come back, but he was too far into the light to obey and he knew the moment he reached the hand that was outreached for him there would be no turning back. He would be on the other side. The freedom and happiness that he had searched for all his life was there, yet he couldnīt take the step. Make the decision
It was if there was something else pulling at him, calling for him, making him feel confused. "Go away," he whispered to the sounds that were bothering him, "GO!" But they didnīt listen. Instead the face of his brother Aaron, his friends Brian, Kevin, AJ and Howie and his family appeared on his cornea. They were the closest in his life and the ones that meant the most and they were the only thing that could stop him from taking the step.
Nick felt a pang in his heart and closing his eyes he hoped that the vision of them would be gone when he opened his eyes again. But instead he noticed that the figure, the man that had been waiting to take him over to the other side was slowly fading and he could feel a strong force pulling him back through the tunnel again.
A violent bolt and it all happened in a second. He could feel himself getting dragged further and further away from the light and even if he was protesting, shouting that he wanted to go back, there was no stopping him. The next thing he knew he started to fall, fall further and further down and the houses and the trees that had been small like toothpicks were becoming their own size again.
It was like he was trapped in a hurricane of emotions and he was swirling in top speed. Feeling dizzy he closed his eyes and before he knew it he was back in the operating room and he could see the people working on him, shocking him with all kinds of devices. The machine in the room that counted his heartbeat had flat lined but still no one refused to give up and it was then and there Nick made his decision
He was going to live.
He was going to fight this disease that had invaded his body to the last drop even if it meant that he would have to suffer to reach his goal. He was going to fight cause he wasnīt afraid of dying anymore.
With those thoughts he was thrown violently back to the shell that his body was and within seconds his heart started to beat again.
He had survived.
