"Are you saying that I donīt care about my own children?"
Aaron winced.
His mom and dad were fighting. Again. The paperthin walls left nothing for the imagination. They were yelling, name calling and accusing each other of lying. Once again he found himself and his siblings being stuck in a battle between his parents. This was more and more common these days and if they were not fighting about the children it was about work or money.
Heīd seriously thought that once they had found out about Nicks sickness it would all stop. But No! It was like the stress they were under caused them to fight even more, when in reality it shouldīve been the opposite. He knew that Angel was just as effected over this as he was and it was only Bobbie Jean and Leslie that didnīt care, at least not anymore. The reason for this attitude was that they had each moved out of the house and had left more or less the family to their own.
Before Nick got sick he had been like a big brother. Taking care of them all, especially when his parents were fighting. But now he had more of his own problems to deal with and Aaron didnīt want to turn to him for advice or comfort.
This left him pretty much alone to handle it all.
Sitting up in his bed he thought about how much he missed his siblings. Angel was doing a model shoot and could therefore not be with him. Because they were twins they had a pretty special relationship, but not as special as he had with Nick. His older brother had always been his idol and he remembered when he was little and used to want to be like Nick. Then his brother had changed and they had drifted apart. Not much, but enough for them to not spend so much time together anymore.
"Stop being so selfish!" The tone was filled with anger.
"Selfish? Me?" His mom was mad. "Itīs easy for you to judge me when youīre not doing anything to improve the situation." He guessed that tears would soon follow. "When did you ever help out anything?"
There was a heated response coming from his dad and Aaron did his best to block out the sounds by turning up the volume on the stereo. To his dispair he found that they were playing "Show me the meaning of being lonley" and upon hearing this song he felt his stomach constrict. Quickly he turned it off before the ache in his heart would be too large. It was better to listen to his mom and dad fighting than having to deal with the wound that thinking about his brother caused.
His mom cried.
A knot was forming in the base of his gut, making him nauseous. Swallowing hard he did his best to get the lump down his throat to vanish. Only to notice that it was still there, growing, ready to choke him up.
Part of him wanted so desperately to run away. Escape from it all. The other part wanted them to stop fighting. To be friends again, if not for his sake at least for Nicks. He wanted to tell them that they should all go and visit Nick since it had been a couple of days or more since they last saw him. AJ had told him about the bone marrow transplantation and even if he didnīt want his brother to go through such a procedure he also knew that this could be the only chance for survival.
Even if he wanted nothing more than to be with Nick he was equally scared to see him. His own days were filled to the brim with meetings and appointments. Obligations that he had to fulfill or else his whole professional carreer would be a long gone memory. But he was only 14, going on 15 and he longed to be out there with his friends. Playing B-ball, shooting hoops, scuba diving. But most of all he longed to be with Nick.
"How can you say that? Have I not been there for my children? His mother cried. "Iīve done everything for them and still you accuse me of not doing enough."
He had a hard time figuring out what his dad was saying since he had calmed down and was talking with a softer voice. His hope that the fight would be soon over quickly dimished when Janes voice rose suddenly. "Iīve done everything for them. Touring, taking care of the business, helping them out and now youīre saying that Iīm a no good mother. When was the last time you helped one of them out?" The words were said in defense.
There were lots of accusations from each sides as they were getting deeper into the fight. He could hear his name being mentioned several times and for once Aaron was actually greatful that none of the guys were at home, listening to what was being said.
"If you had paid more attention to the children maybe this.."
Jane interrupted him.
"THAT was low! Do you honestly think that its simple being a mother of five and also a manager, a successful one, " she added. It was more a statement then a question. "You know very well that neither Nick nor Aaron wouldīve made it if I wasnīt there to support them!"
Aaron couldnīt help but sigh. This was one conversation that heīd heard before. At first heīd felt bad when topics like this come up. Nowdays however he didnīt pay much attention.
The times when heīd talked to Nick about his mom and dad fighting about stuff he was told that he should try and forget it all. Heīd done that, tried, but to no avail. There were times when heīd wished he was just as strong as Nick, especially when it came to getting them to stop running his life.
Several years back Nick had cut the relation with his parents. He knew it had something to do with his ex girlfriend Manda, who his mother had never liked. It had also something to do with money, but then when didnīt it? Jane had thought that his brother was throwing his life away being with a girl that only lived with him for money and fame. And when Nick didnīt want to move with them to Cali there had been a fight. His brother had stormed out of the house screaming "Fuck you all!" and they had broke all contact. Aaron remembred that he felt devastated that Nick didnīt want to come to the house anymore. He only got to talk with him on the phone.
Then one night, more than six months later, his brother had showed up on one of Aarons concerts.
The memory made him smile. Heīd never forget it as long as he lived. The feeling when his "long lost" brother came up on stage and told him that he loved him. Tears had rolled down his cheeks and the whole world could see his emotions. Yet he didnīt care. That his brother was back was all that mattered. Still it was the words heīd said backstage that left the most memories. "I promise squirt," he said while giving him a hug. "I promise Iīll never leave you again. Never."
His dads voice brought him back to reality.
"Youīre running the kid too hard!"
"If Aaron is going to have a chance in this business he has to work. Work hard just like Nick!" There were a pause before she continued. "And this canīt be done being cooped up here in Tampa. We need to go back to LA!"
So thatīs what they were arguing about? His mom wanted them to leave! To go back home to LA. Aaron felt his stomach constrict. But what would happend to Nick if he left? What if he wouldnīt be able to see him again? Ever?
The thoughts scared him just as much as it had done hearing about that bone marrow transplantation. AJ had told him about it. At first he had thought it was wierd that his brother was going to be his own donor but then he didnīt think much about it. He was willing to try anything just to get Nick healthy again.
"And what about Nick?" His dad asked the question he was thinking. "Isnīt he worth anything to you?" There were a few seconds of silence before he continued, "Jane our oldest his sick, maybe dying and all you care about is business. How can you be so cold?"
His mom was now crying. Hysterical.
"You act like I donīt care about Nick," she cried. "Heīs my baby boy, my oldest. I love him and you know it."
Aaron could hear his dad trying to calm her down. It worked in the beginning but then he must have said something wrong beacuse she rose her voice again. His heart pounded faster. He wanted them to stop. Stop before they said something that they would regret. Stop before they said something that he didnīt want to hear.
"Thatīs it! Thatīs it!" His mother yelled hysterical. "Iīm going home and Iīm taking Aaron with me!"
'Noooo,' Aaron mentally screamed.
"And donīt you dare stop me," there were treath in her voice, "Iīm booking a flight right now and weīre leaving the first thing in the morning."
Heīd heard enough!
A desperate feeling of wanting to get out of the house swept all over him. He was certain he would suffocate if he stayed. With that in mind he ran out of the room, slamming the door hard behind him in an attempt to get attention. It worked as his dad called out, "Aar?"
Running down the stairs Aaron felt a desperate need to get out of the house or he was certain he would suffocate. With that he rushed out, slamming the door hard behind him. AS he was running down the stairs he could hear his mother calling for him "Aaron honey!" and when he ignored her she said irritated to his dad, "Now see what you did!"
Tears ran down his cheeks. There were no way he was going to leave Nick. Not when he was this ill! Grabbing the keys on the counter he ran outside to driveway. There outside was Nicks red Porsche. Quickly he opened the car door and then jumped in. With shaky hands he turned on the ignition key, intending to get away from there as fast as possible.
Aaron had no driving license, yet he didnīt care. Heīd drove a car on several occasions so he knew pretty much how to drive.
"Aaron stop!" It was his dad screaming for him as he came running outside, his mother in a tow. "Donīt do anything stupid!"
Ignoring their words he put the clutch in and then drove off in full speed, the tire squealing in the process.
He had to get out of there. Had to get to Nick! And nothing could stop him..nothing!!!
