PHOTOGRAPH SMILE

CHAPTER TWO

BY SUE

 

I don’t own the Beatles or their families. This is purely fictional fantasy from my warped mind…..

 

 

Julian straightened up and craned his neck to see who was coming around the corner, to the back room. He saw black trainers, jeans and the bottom of a dark long coat, used for the rain. He knew it wasn’t the limo driver. He strained his eyes to see who belonged to the long coat. The person walked closer; slowly Julian started to recognize this person. He was shorter and stocker then Julian, with brown hair that reached his collar. His face was full, with round soulful eyes. Julian caught the twinkle of light that shone off of his earring. He walked in the room, his lips tightly pressed into a small smile. He placed a cup down on the kitchen island counter that sat in the middle of the room. Julian’s face formed a slight sideways smile as their eyes met.

 

“Were you gonna leave without a so long or even a hullo? Here, I bought you some tea.” The man took off his coat and draped it across the far side of the island counter. He walked around and drew Julian into a tight hug as he patted Julian’s back.

 

“Well, if it isn’t Zak Starkey as I live and breath.” Julian let out a small chuckle.

 

“Well, Julian Lennon is it? “ He released him and placed his hands on either side of Julian’s shoulders. He held him there and looked him over, “Aren’t you one of those famous Beatle kids?” Zak laughed; it was a joke between all the Beatle’s children.

 

“I think so yeah. Aren’t you also one of those kids? Y’ know the son of the drummer from the Beatles?” Julian laughed lightly. He hadn’t laughed in awhile and it felt good, as good as seeing his close mate. He needed to see someone he trusted as much as he did Zak. They were only a few years apart and were close growing up. They had grown apart lately, partly because of Zak’s touring schedule and partly because Julian had been so busy.

 

“Naw, I’m the famous drummer now, from that band, The Who.” His smile grew as he drew Julian in for another hug and then let him go, “You aren’t in good form, mate. I’ve seen you lookin’ better. Here, drink some of this tea. Mum always told me not to go to someone’s empty flat empty handed.” He chuckled and looked around at the empty place. He then picked up the cup of tea and handed it to Julian.

 

Julian sipped it. The warm liquid felt good running down his throat. When had he last drank or ate anything? He couldn’t quite remember. He scanned the man that stood before him. Zak looked good. He was always one of the more adjusted children from the famous group. The only other ones, who seemed to handle the pressures as well, were Dhani, James, Mary, Stella and Lee.

“Thanks for the tea. What are you doing here? I’m leaving shortly.” Julian pulled himself up onto the counter against the window.

 

“I just got off from tour. Sarah told me you were leaving. She heard you were here and spoke to your mum,” Zak put his arms up, “ So, here I am.”

 

“Sarah; how is she and Tatia?” Julian asked.

 

“Sarah is great. Thirteen years we’ve been married. Can you believe it? And still I love her. Tatia, she’s in school and playing the piano of all things. She’s well, thanks. “ Zak laughed, and thought about how long he had been with his wife and how much they still loved each other. He thought about his daughter and what a good kid she was. He was lucky, truly blessed, and only wished his friend could be as blessed. Julian had had some bad breaks when it came to love. He remembered some of the girls Julian had introduced him to. Some were models, or famous, and some weren’t famous at all. Yet, none of them seemed to work out for his friend.

 

“Good to hear that one mate. I’m glad things are working out so well for you. How are Lee and Jas?” Julian thought about how Lee had just had battle with cancer.

 

Zak nodded and pulled himself up on the island counter, facing Julian, “Lee is over the radiation. Doctors seem to think she’ll be all right, and that the cancer is gone. I hope so. I don’t mind saying that this really had me. All I could think about was mum,” He exhaled and then went to the next part of the question, “ Jas, will always be Jas, y‘know him. I’m glad the two of you aren’t running around getting pissed in every pub anymore.”

 

Julian remembered how horrible it had been when Maureen died, and then to have Lee battle cancer was a lot for the family. He had been there for them, along with his mum. He then thought about how Jas and he would carouse every night and go to any pub that would put up with them, when they were younger. He also remembered how he’d have to clean up after Jas, or carry him home by the end of the night, even though he wasn’t to far behind. 

 

“Y ‘know he joined dad in AA. He’s still sober, for a while now. If you came around more, lately, you’d know this, Jules. You used to call or visit all the time. You haven’t in eight months or so. I spoke to your mum and she told me you were doing good, so I don’t understand why I haven’t heard from you over the past eight months.” Zak’s brow rose and his head tilted as he waited for an answer.

.

 Julian wondered if Zak knew how much he looked like his dad, especially now, with the face he was making. Then again, everyone told Julian how much he looked like his dad at times.

 He sighed loudly, “Yeah, sorry bout that one. I’ve been workin’ on my website and more music with Mark and Greg, a few other things. Then I came here. Mum, she keeps me up on the things she knows and I always mean to call. Wait a sec, I did once and caught Sarah. She said you were on tour. I didn’t speak long with her, she was on her way out.” He leaned forward, his palms laying flat on the counter holding the weight of his upper body. 

 

Zak stared at him for a moment and then started talking again, “ Yeah, saw Heather in Arizona on this past tour. Her pottery company went bust and Uncle Paul had to bail her out, but you know that already. She still keeps to herself, but looks good. I stayed there one night. Sarah and me went and saw Dhani and uncle George. Saw Stel too, working hard as ever. Didn’t catch up with James. I wanted to. We always say we’re gonna jam and we haven’t in some time. I saw your brother too, when I was in New York. Heard his band, pretty good, they are. I see he’s still with that stunner of a girlfriend. He seems happy.”

 

“He is happy. I spoke to him last week; of course I had to go through the dragon lady to speak to him. Funny, she puts on such airs so Sean thinks she likes me. Guess I do the same for him, I mean he is my little brother and I’d do anything for him. So I’m nice to the woman, for his sake, only.” Julian gave Zak a cagey smile.

 

“Yeah, sometimes you have to in order to have a relationship. I saw her too. She has always liked me. It’s me dad y ’know, she thinks the world of him and Barb.” Zak chuckled at the thought of the dragon lady and how he and Julian would make rude comments about her. Usually after the few times Julian came home from being aloud to visit his dad. Then after John had died, the comments were more then rude and Julian stated publicly years later how they didn’t get along. All the Beatle children muddled through different problems in their lives. Zak knew people that weren’t famous that had just as many problems. The only difference was that a child of a Beatle was news and so their problems were scattered all over the papers for the world to see.

 

Julian smiled as he thought of the all the Beatle kids. They were more like cousins then friends, “ Saw uncle Paul, he’s not doing to well, but tha’s to be expected. After 30 years, I would think it hard to be without your partner, your love and the mother of your children” Julian thought about how it must feel to have such a fulfilling relationship, he thought about him and Mary. Paul had never known about them as far as he knew. Maybe the grief just didn’t allow him to see the things he usually would. “Bloody hell, I can’t imagine losing someone that was the mother of my children and the other half of me, for thirty years.”

 

Zak had a feeling why Julian had made the comment about having a long and loving relationship. They had covered every one of the kids and had conveniently skipped over Mary. He had heard from Sarah, who was friendly with Cyn that something had happened between Mary and Jules. She had also heard from Barbara what had transpired. He just didn’t know the extent of it. He figured he’d just come out and ask Jules. After all, they had shared so much of their lives with each other over the years. They had always been there for each other and had always been honest about things. He felt uncomfortable, but this was his dear friend. He always seemed more like a brother to him than a friend.

 

Zak leaned forward, closer to Julian. Their eyes met, Julian turned away. He just couldn’t handle the questions in Zak’s eyes. He figured he knew what those questions were.

 

“Jules, look at me, man. I need to talk to you.” Love and concern mixed together in Zak’s voice.

 

Julian looked forward to Zak; he pushed his hair away from his forehead, and waited for the dreaded subject. He swallowed hard, as fear flush through him, “What do you need to talk to me about?” He asked, trying to hide his fear deep inside of him.

 

“I heard something happened between you and Mary. We’ve always told each other everything, so don’t push your feelings deep inside like you do. You know you always complained about how your dad did that and how you seem to do it too. I want to know what happened, and the whole truth. We’ve always had that connection, no matter how we felt about what we did. I’m here for you, but I need to know.” Zak assured him.

 

Julian’s mind reeled with hearing what his mate had just said. Yes, it was true, they always shared everything, no matter how bad or good it was. Only now, Julian wondered what his good mate would think of him. Would he really listen and stand by him? Adrenaline, rushed through his veins, as he shook from the thought of telling him. He had told his mother and that was bad enough, and then Heather, Stella, Ritch and Barb had found out. Now, to tell someone else, his mate, his brother? His mind clouded with the fear, he felt sick and his heart pounded along with his head. His stomach tightened up and he lean to the sink as he dry heaved into it.

 

Zak watched with worry. He slid off the counter and went over to Julian. He watched as Julian spit into the sink, and then cupped his hands to get some water to wash his mouth out. Zak saw Julian’s ashen face, his shortness of breath and the sweat that washed over him.

 

Zak looked around and picked up some napkins from the tea. He wet them, “Here, wipe your face down. You’re off colour.” He wondered just how serious this was for Julian to have a physical reaction to his question. He rubbed Julian’s shoulder and gave him a minute to collect himself.

 

“Better?” He asked with concern.

 

Julian nodded, “ Slightly. Ta for the napkin. Sorry ‘bout that.” His head fell downward with shame.

 

“Nothing to be sorry about, Jules. This is obviously driving you stark raven. Something big happened for you to react this way,” Zak again, stroked Julian’s shoulder and ran his hand down Julian’s back, rubbing it for reassurance.

 

Julian’s mind raced. Zak had been away on tour and couldn’t get back to attend the memorial service for Linda. Memories began to flood his brain, the same memories he had tried to lock away. Julian had worked so hard to look at things in a positive light, to get himself together, and he had done just that. Now, he felt as if he had backslid, fallen into a space he had fought his way out of for years. He couldn’t understand how he had allowed this to happen, again.

 

 He remembered how it began, how he came back to London to be there for the service with his mum, for his uncle Paul and the family. Hot tears started running down his face as the now unlocked door opened to a movie that his brain played for him, of the last few months. He started to tell Zak as he watched it scene by scene.