PHOTOGRAPH SMILE

CHAPTER 13

BY SUE

 

Remember I don’t own the Beatle’s or their families. This is just a fan fiction from my warped mind.

 

 

Zak moved the bag over to Julian. They both leaned the arch of their backs against the full, soft luggage. Shoulders and heads rested against the wall. Zak was still laughing at the story that Julian had told, from Paul.

 

 Julian opened the bottle and took another swig, washing down the thoughts of Mary asking for Julian to stay with her. Julian hated the fact he had been so naïve, or was he just so lost in her love? Julian knew he was, then and now. He looked at his hands as they shook.

 

Zak saw this and took the bottle away. He remembered again, how they had all had problems with drinking and drugs. He had pulled away from it first, leaving Jason and Julian to plummet through, hoping they’d escape as he did. Now, seeing Julian with the bottle, hearing how he had been creeping back into his old ways of pub jumping and staggering home completely gone from the mind erasing liquid, worried him. He didn’t know if the shaking was nerves from the story he was telling and what happened, or the bottle. Zak watched the orange glow of the cigarette Julian had just lit.

 

Zak tried to change his thoughts. “ I found that story about you, that Paul told, funny,” Zak had laughed throughout the story as Julian told it. Images jumped out at Zak from the tale, as if it were from a 3-d movie.

 

“ Yeah, quite amusing, that was.” Julian agreed.

 

Zak couldn’t stay away from the problem and pushed on. “So, you agreed and stayed with Mary, knowing Alistair was coming back to try and fix things between them? That must have been hard. I can’t image it. What possessed you to do it? Love?” Zak fired the questions at his friend, trying to understand, but already knowing the answer.

 

“Yup, absofuckinlutly, love.” The answer came out flippantly from Julian’s mouth.

 

“ I’ve never seen you like this with a woman. I mean you’ve been head over heals, but never acted like this.” Zak gently told his friend, trying to defuse the flippant comment.

 

“ A bit pathetic, you think? Soft, daft maybe?” Julian answered sullenly.

 

“ I’m not trying to pass judgment, I’m sorry if it sounded as if I was.” Zak apologized, watching Julian stare off into space.

 

A huge spurt of air escaped Julian’s nose. If it had been from his mouth it would have been a sigh. “ Didn’t think you were. Only thought you were pointing out the obvious is all.” Julian stated dryly. He licked his lips and reached out for the bottle.

 

“ Give it a rest for now. Go on with your story. I want to hear it all and you need to spill it.” Zak told him as a counselor would tell their patient.

 

Julian ignored the tone in Zak’s voice. He had no problem with continuing now. The thoughts were still fresh in his mind from that night. It was like pausing and restarting, so mechanical. He felt the slight numbness from the drink, in his body and mind. The feelings he tried to hold at bay, only he could feel himself sinking as if he were in quick sand.

 

“ Give it over, first.” Julian’s hand reached over for the bottle that Zak had taken away from him. He needed it.

 

“ All right, if you really need it.”

 

Julian ignored that remark as well. He knew Zak only meant well and was concerned about him and he was too overwhelmed to fight over it. Only the alcohol got him through reliving this. Through the pain of losing, failing with the love he tried to give and get back in return. He wondered if he’d ever get himself back in that place he had once been: comfortable. He had achieved getting past his feelings about his father and only remembered the happy memories. He had also found himself. Now again, he thought of all his loses, mostly losing himself. He took hold of the neck of the bottle and let the burning liquid run down his throat before he went from pause to start.

 

 

They were all howling at the story that Paul had told them. They were all engrossed in it. The laughing slowed and Mary shot up and looked at her watch.

 

“ Oh no, sorry daddy, I promised Beth I’d meet her 20 minutes ago. I’ll call her from my cell in the car. I’ll be staying there tonight, but will be home in time to take you to the doctors so he can have a look at you.” She bent down and kissed him, she hated lying to her father and usually never did, but this was different. She didn’t know how he’d take her seeing Julian and still being with Al. This, as Julian had told her, was something she had to work out for herself. Straightening up she saw a wink from Stella. Mary ignored it and turned on her heals. She gave a quick look at Julian and mouthed “ Later”.

 

“ You drive carefully, luv. Have a good time with Beth.” Paul told his daughter as she left the room, “ Well, shall we have some more stories?” Paul chuckled.

 

Julian stood up from the chair. He raised his hands and shook his head no. “ I think we heard enough embarrass Julian stories for one night.” He smiled as his face slightly blushed.

 

“ Oh c’mon, Jules. That was about daddy and George and your parents as well. I think it was cute.” Stella teased, trying to egg on another story.

 

“ No, don’t think you’ll win on that one. I’m gonna get me a cuppa before I go home.” Julian dodged the possibility of the next story and walked into the kitchen. He refilled his cup, and stood by the window rubbing his tired eyes. Julian heard a noise and spun around with surprise,” Stel?”

 

Stella grinned evilly at Julian as she came around to the side of him with a pitcher of cold water in her hands. Julian moved to the sink, placed his cup down and looked stunned at her playful face.

 

Stella watched Julian carefully as she moved closer to him. She flicked the water at him and giggled.

 

“ Stel, what are you doin’?” Julian winced as the water splashed him, “ I’m just drying out.”

 

“ Oh figured you liked to get wet, Jules, dear.” The evil grin grew on her face. She stood directly in front of him, teetering the pitcher.

 

“ Don’t do it you heathen!” Julian raised his voice with a laugh. He knew how Stel was, stubborn, playful, always up for a good joke, moody, generous to a fault and loving. He raised his arms as she kept dangling the large pitcher at him, “ C’mon, Stel.”

 

“ C’mon Stel? Fine.” Stella laughed hard as she threw the water over Julian. His shirt was soaked, his face and the front part of his hair that now dripped down his forehead.

 

“ You soaked me!” Julian exclaimed with surprise.

 

“ You asked me to.” She giggled.

 

“ Didn’t, y’know.” Julian reached for the sink and turned on the water. He slid his thumb under the tap and directed the spray at Stella, who screeched and ran to the other side of the kitchen.

 

“ Stop, you’ll get daddy in here and you’re making a mess.” She stifled her giggle.

 

“ Now you think of that one?”

 

“Well, I’ll clean my own mess up. But first.” Stella watched Julian turn off the water, grab a tea towel and wipe his face. She went and stood in front of him, her eyes looking up at his.

 

 Julian wiped his hands and placed the tea towel on the counter. He backed down the counter and felt Stella move with him as she closed the gap between them.

 

“ Whatcha up to?” Julian asked suspiciously.

 

“Jules, I wanna feel what Mary’s been telling me about.” Stella brazenly told him while wiping the hair from his face.

 

Julian shook his head as if he had water in his ears and didn’t hear her right.

“What’s that?”

 

Stella took her hands, reached up and grabbed both sides of Julian’s shirt collar.

“ I wanna kiss from you is all. No tongues, just a nice, long kiss, with you holding me tightly.” Stella explained, adamantly.

 

“ Can’t do that one.” Julian answered bemused. Why after all this time was she asking him to do this? He remembered how she had flirted with him just a few days ago and wondered what was going on, “ Why do you want me to kiss you, silly girl?”

 

Stella eyed him, her hands still loosely on his collar. “ I’m not a silly girl. I just always wondered what it would be like to kiss you. Listening to Mary has made me more curious. So, just kiss me.” She pulled him closer by his collar.

 

Julian gently took her hands from his shirt. “ Don’t do that. It’s rather forceful, don’t you think? Besides, anyone could walk in and I only want Mary, I’m sorry, Stel.” Julian gently told her, letting go of her hands.

 

“ She’s going to hurt you, Jules, and I’ll be there to help pick up the pieces. I didn’t ask you to have sex with me and I know Mary is waiting for you at your flat. Just a nice kiss, like in the old movies?” Stella told him what she thought about her sister and then asked him sweetly again, about the kiss.

 

Julian didn’t know what to do. He was stunned. Then his sense of humor kicked in. He wondered if Stella thought he’d do it or was just playing with him. Suddenly without warning, he grabbed Stella. He pulled her tightly to him, dipped her to the side, his hand holding the back of her head and his arm snug around the small of her back. Pulling her hard against him, he leaned in and gave her a long, deep, passionate kiss. The kiss she wanted, no tongue, just like in the old movies. He then swung her back up and held onto her so she wouldn’t fall.

 

Stella couldn’t believe that Julian had dipped her and laid such a wonderfully passionate kiss on her. It was truly magic, just like in the fairy tales she read as a child or the old movies she had spoken of. Her legs wobbled and she felt his strong arms hold her up. It was then she realized they weren’t alone. To make it look good, she figured she’d have the last laugh. She knew he had taken her challenge and was ready to meet his as she laid her head against his chest.

 

“ What’s going on in here?” Heather asked, on her way to the fridge. She opened the door and got out some juice. She reached up for a glass, poured it and put the juice back. She then turned to her sister and Julian.

 

Julian’s eyes smiled up at Heather and then down at Stella. He knew what Stella was doing. “ Was it good for you?” He teased.

 

“ You are a cheeky lad.” Stella laughed, “ Heather, we were just having fun is all.”

 

“ I can see that and don’t think daddy or Mary would be amused.” Heather stated annoyed. She took her glass and walked out of the room.

 

Julian and Stella giggle like children.

“ Well?” Julian asked again.

 

“ Well what?” Stella joked, knowing full well what he was talking about.

 

Julian released his hold. :”I got to you, admit it.” He grinned like the cat that swallowed the canary.

 

“ Yes you did. I won’t deny that for a second. That was spontaneous and so very lovely. Mary is right; you have a way about you. She is a lucky girl. I hope she realises this one. If not, then I’ll have to take advantage of your hospitality. If you kiss that well, that romantically and with such lovely spontaneity, then I rather think the bedroom would be a pleasant venture.” Stella winked at him.

 

Julian groaned at her. “ You are something, y’know that? Still,” He pondered, placing his fingers under her chin,” I know you enjoyed that, a lot. Admit it Stel.” Julian looked deep into her eyes.

 

Having him look at her the way he was and thinking about his kiss, along with how he’d be in the bedroom, took her guard away. :”Yes, I told you I did. It was,” She sighed, “ It was incredible and you know it, so sod off.”

 

Julian smiled broadly at her. “ Why Stel, I do believe you are turning red and you’re wet as well. Want I should do that again?” His brow wagged as he asked her.

 

“ I’d love it. Only you’d never get to Mary, I’d have to drag you off to my room, daddy or not.” She giggled, running her hands down his chest to his waist and then slowly starting down the front of his hips.

 

Julian gulped, he slipped his hands over hers and steered them away from the direction they were going. “ Not a smart move, luv. Now, I must be going.” Julian put her hands down and walked over, grabbed his coat and put it on.

 

“Jules?” Stella cocked her head and waited for the young man to turn to her.

 

“ What?”

 

“ You did like that, I could tell and I know you became aroused. Keep that in mind if things don’t work out with my sister.” Stella smiled with satisfaction.

 

“ You’ll do wise to keep that one to yourself, little girl. Then again a bloke having such a beauty around can’t help himself, but that doesn’t mean he’d go and do it. T’is Mary who has my heart, remember that.”  Julian let her know.

 

“ Of course I will, our little dirty secret?” Stella stared at Julian, knowingly.

 

Julian was shocked with the words she used. If she was looking for a reaction he sure gave it to her, he thought. “ Listening in on other’s conversations doesn’t suit you.” Julian answered tightly, quickly covering up his shock, although he knew she had seen it.

 

“ I wasn’t, really. I was making tea and peered out the window to see how you two were doing and heard just a tad, is all. So no worries there, ok?” Stella answered him. She had seen his shocked face and knew she had won. They had gone back and forth for almost 30 minutes with her winning and then him, back and forth, the games and flirting went. Her sister would be a fool to give this one up, she thought. Then, as she had thought before, if Mary did, she’d try for him. She’d have some fun with him, make him forget Mary and then they’d both have a grand time until they became bored and he went home.

 

“ Right, I’m off, say good night to Heather and your da for me,” Julian started to hum to Stella and then began to sing as he stepped through the door, “ Dream a little dream of meeeee.” Was the last thing he knew she heard as he sang only a line of the song and closed the door. He had won. He chuckled, knowing she knew what he meant. Julian got into his car and headed back to his flat and Mary.

 

 

Julian took the stairs two at a time as he ran to meet Mary. He opened the door to his room. Light flickered from a few candles she had lit. The smell was intoxicating as the flames move around throwing shadows about the room and allowing him to see the object that filled his heart so deeply. She lay under the sheet, naked. Her long brown hair fanned across the pillow. He realized, by her breathing, that she had fallen asleep. He had stayed too long with Stella. He gently sat down beside Mary and caressed her face, letting her hair lightly slid through his fingers. He watched as her eyes fluttered open and she slowly recognized him. Mary stretched and then ran one hand down his chest. She pulled her hand away quickly at the wetness she felt.

 

“ Raining harder?” She asked, yawning.

 

Julian suddenly became aware that his shirt was indeed very wet. He had forgotten when he had become so engrossed in the love that filled his heart. Julian closed his eyes at the thought of kidding around with Stella. He then opened them and let out a sigh. He fished for his pack of cigarettes and tapped one out. Picking up a candle, he lit it and watched the orange glow as he inhaled before he began to speak.

 

“ No, the rain stopped. Stella soaked me with a pitcher of ice cold water.”

 

“ Stella did that?” Mary slowly sat up against the headboard, the sheet pulled up over her breasts and her arms tightly around her. She was a little chilly and was surprised by what Julian had said.

 

“ Yes, she did. She came into the kitchen with it and teased me. I said something like, Stella c’mon and she threw it all over me. Told me I asked her to. She was playing with me, spinning my words around. So I moved to the tap and turned on the water and wet her. She yelped at the mess we were making and that your da might come in.” Julian laid his cigarette in the ashtray and removed his shirt, exposing his chest. He then removed his shoes, socks, jeans and his under shorts. Naked, he crawled under the sheet and sat up next to her. He took one last drag off his cigarette and snubbed it out.

 

Mary turned to Julian, “ What happened next?”

 

Julian explained what happened and how Stella played with him and how he played back.

“ She didn’t think I’d do it. I just pulled her in, dipped her and gave her the kiss she asked for. I knew she was baiting me, but I don’t think she thought I’d do it, “ Julian chuckled, “ I had to hold her up and then it was even more of a laugh cause Heather saw it and then Stel played into that one by laying her head on my chest. Heather wanted to know what was going on and we smiled. I asked Stel how she liked the kiss. Then we told Heather what was going on and she didn’t like it, said your da wouldn’t and you wouldn’t, but we were just muckin’ about, is all. We laughed so hard after she left until I started back in on Stel, askin’ her if she liked the kiss and wanted another, “ Julian laughed even harder at the memory. He didn’t notice that Mary had tensed up, slowly getting upset.

 

“ What’d she say?” Mary asked dryly.

 

“ Said she loved it. The romance, the spontaneity and that it was lovely, she told me I must be great in the bedroom, “ Julian laughed again and continued laughing as he told the rest of the story, “ She thought she had the last laugh and won with telling me she’d have to drag me to her room whether your da was there or not and that I liked it too. She told me she could tell by my body and then started running her hands down me. I stopped her and told her again that I loved you. Told her I had to go and as I was leaving I sang her that line from the song, you know it, “ Julian started to sing the line to Mary,

“ Dream a little dream of meeee. Then I quickly closed the door so she couldn’t have the last word and knew I had won, “ Julian was roaring with laughter at the thought of what Stella must have looked like at him winning. 

 

  

Mary didn’t find the story amusing at all. Her mind whirled at the pictures that Julian had placed in her mind. Jealousy ran through her veins. She didn’t like feeling this way and liked it less that her sister had made more moves on Julian. She ran what he was saying around in her head. Realizing that he romantically kiss her sister, causing a reaction that Stella could see, this made her mood worse. He thought it was funny and just horsing around, she knew her sister better. Mary couldn’t conceive the thought of Julian kissing her sister in such a way, a way that should only be for her. Mary’s face squinted up a bit as Julian finished. She turned to him, waiting for his laughter to stop before she started to speak.

 

“ So, you kissed my sister? In a romantic way and had a reaction to it?” Mary asked, with a stoic voice.

 

“ Um, well, yeah. I mean it was a lark, really.” Julian answered, surprised at her reaction.

 

“ Doesn’t sound like a lark to me, Jules.” Mary turned her body towards him, her voice shaky, holding back the rage that she felt.

 

“ Why are you so upset about this? I love you, I told Stel that. Honestly, Mar, it was nothing.” Julian tried to convince her, taking in the anger that etched her face.

 

He didn’t understand why she would be so mad. They always played around, this was just a bit more on the sexual side, still, it was only play. Sure he reacted, he was a man and any man would react that way. Stella was fun, interesting and pretty, but Mary owned his heart and he thought she knew that one.

 

“ You reacted to it, Jules, “ Mary’s voice grew stronger in tone, “ My sister noticed. You must have had one hell of a hard on!” She spit out.

 

Mary got up and grabbed his robe from the chair. She tied it around her. Mary didn’t get this mad that often, but she saw red, or was it green from that jealous monster inside of her? The monster that said Julian was hers! She knew she had no right with Alistair still in the picture, but that was how she felt. Leaning against the wardrobe her eyes wandered to the man that still sat in bed, shocked at her tone and feelings.

 

“ Mar….I am a man. We react at times, get a hard on. Just like you would if you saw a nice looking bloke. You’d react too, but doesn’t mean you’d bed him.” Julian continued to try to get her to understand.

 

“ Yes, but I don’t kiss a nice looking bloke, or a lover’s sibling!” Mary shot back, glaring at him.

 

Julian slipped out from under the sheet. He picked up his jeans and slid them on. Zipping them up he came around the bed to Mary. She pulled away from him.

 

“ I don’t want you to touch me right now.”

 

Julian nodded, feeling the anger rising inside of him. “We were only muckin’ about. “ He hissed at her, “ Nothing would or will happen, I don’t want her, I want you. You know this and use it against me?” Julian asked. He had worn his heart out on his sleeve too many times for her not to know that. He stood there brewing.

 

“ I’m using nothing against you! Stel is my sister for God sakes, and you both shouldn’t be doing that. What would you think of me doing that with Sean?” Mary shot daggers over at Julian, hoping she had hit a chord to prove she had every right to feel the way she did.

 

“ Bloody Fuckin’ ‘Ell, Mary! If I knew you were messin’ about, it wouldn’t bother me. I would trust you. You don’t trust me? Is that the bleedin’ truth ‘ere or is it you don’t trust Stel? I think that’s a bit barmy on your part, after all in less than three weeks I get to share you with another man! I’ve been that fuckin’ bloody secret for a while now, haven’t I! How do you think I feel ‘bout you kissin’ Al or screwin’ around with him?” Julian erupted, his jealousy exploding and pouring out of him like lava from a volcano.

 

 

Mary’s head shot up, she glared at him with such anger she felt she’d tear him apart.

“ You think me a whore?”

 

“ No, never said that, don’t be puttin’ words in me mouth. Just tellin’ ya like I see it and feel it for that matter.” Julian growled out.

 

“ Stel has always had a bit of a crush on you. Now you encourage it and she is always flirting with you. She IS MY SISTER!” Mary shouted.

 

“ Right, she is your blasted sister. She was playin’. We have always played games, teasin’ each other. Sorry, if you think we went too far this time.” Julian huffed.

 

“ Bloody right you went too far. Then goin’ on about it.” Mary met Julian’s stare and then turned away.

 

“Well, what about Alistair then? Is that goin’ a bit too far fer me, eh? Seein’ me on the sly, how am I s’posed to be around him? Nice to the soddin’ bloke? Hey Al, how are ya, mate, oh and by the way I’m makin’ luve to yer fiance’?” Julian barked whilst rattling off the questions.

 

Mary’s eyes narrowed as she looked at Julian. “ You told me you wanted to be with me, that you’d wait, see how I felt. I thought we decided this one, already. And you should be, like you’ve always been to him, and not say rubbish like that either.” Mary answered curtly, feeling herself teetering between knowing how he felt, and then to the fact that he had indeed decided to stay with her. She knew it wasn’t fair to him and it pulled at her.

 

Mary thought more about what Julian had said. She was fuming, but how could she fight with what he had just said to her? It was the truth and if it were her? She’d be dying too. She knew how angry he was by not just his tone, but also how his accent deepened.

 

“ I told you I’m sorry about that,” Mary turned towards the window and looked out at the quiet neighborhood. Her eyes went from house to house all quietly sleeping. She suddenly felt sad. Sad for what was happening with her, Jules and Al. Sad for not having the peace she so desperately needed, sad for the loss of her mum, best friend and confidant. Her tongue flicked around her mouth, she breathed in, smelling the cigarette that Julian had just lit. The flickering candles dying down took her attention for a moment. Candles that were suppose to be for a lovely evening, now melting down and dripping into a mess, the same mess she felt like. Feeling her emotions hotly spilling over like the hot wax of those once lovely candles.

 

She turned to the one that gave her so much comfort. Yes, she trusted him, but was it fair that he see no one else whilst she saw him and Al? She knew in her heart that Al wanted her back by all the things he’d say to her on the phone. She knew Jules felt he wanted her back, but she couldn’t tell him all the things that Alistair would say to her on the nights he’d ring.

 

Julian pulled on his cigarette, the smoke blowing out of his nose like an angry dragon.

 

“Sorry about our secret, about Al or both?” He spat out.

 

“ Sorry about both, Jules.” Mary’s voice sadly softened

 

Julian’s dander was up now and he couldn’t calm down. He paced furiously across the cool wooden floor, his cigarette hanging from his lips as he took another drag and then grabbed it with his fingers.

 

“ I didn’t do anything wrong, not a thing. Maybe you’re just jealous over Stel and me? Maybe you would go sparce if I saw someone else or maybe you just know Stel is interested?”

 

Mary sighed in surrender. Yes, that was it too, but she was too ashamed to admit it. How could she, but she always told him no matter how shameful it was to her. Mary shrugged watching Julian’s eyes as they bore into her, whilst he crushed his cigarette out.

 

“ Stel IS interested.” Is all she could get out.

 

 

Julian’s brow rose. “ You think I don’t know that? I tell her that I   LOVE    YOU, tell her all the bleedin’ time. I didn’t do it to encourage her, just a laugh. Now, stop acting like a magistrate and judgin’ me.” He swallowed hard, tired and mad at being convicted of a crime he didn’t feel he had done. He flopped down on the bed.

 

Tears pricked at Mary’s eyes, she just wanted him to calm down and hold her. God, why did she need him so badly? Slowly she walked over to the bed and crawled up behind him. She saw the strain in his body, her hands reached over, gently she rested them on his shoulders as she leaned back on the heals of her feet.

 

 “ I don’t want to judge you and I don’t want you to judge me. Yes, you are right, I can’t handle the fact that Stel is interested. I also couldn’t handle you with another woman. I can feel what you feel about Al, yet, I don’t know how to do it any other way. I need you, I love you, but I also love Al and have to find out where I’m supposed to be. I’m sorry, Jules.” Mary felt the droplets fall down her cheek as she started to weep.

 

Julian let out a long sigh, “ Mar, I love you too, you know that one. Christ, I thought I had ridden myself of this jealousy shite. But, I am jealous, and will be. I don’t know what I’ll do if I see Al or when I know you two are together again. I bet he’s told you things, like he still loves you and your still his fiance’, am I right?” Julian’s tone mellowed out a little but he still felt that sting. The sting of her accusations and the sting of Alistair.

 

Mary spoke timidly as she answered. “ Yes, I won’t lie to you. He has said things along those lines to me.”

 

“ I knew it and you never told me. You know he wants you back, you’re not just guessing. He wants to talk to you about how to make it up to you. Am I right on that one too?” Julian asked perturbed at her not telling him.

 

“ Yes, yes, I think that is what he wants to do,” Mary again felt shame at holding back when she had promised that she wouldn’t. It was hard to face Julian and tell him, to see the hurt that he tried to hide. She still felt the tension in his body, but felt that it was a good sign that he was letting her touch him. She ran her hands over his shoulders and around his upper back. She loved the feel of this man and his bare back felt wonderful.

 

“ You promised me you’d be straight up. Where is that Mary? Is it only when you want it or is it just me that has to be forth coming?” Julian bit out.

 

Mary winced knowing he was right. “ No, you’re right and I gave my word tonight, so I promise you I will be straight up with you. I keep saying I’m sorry. It’s not just words, I really am. I wish I wasn’t in love with both of you, but I am. It tears me apart to tell you about Al and see the hurt in your eyes. Again, I’m sorry.” Mary laid her head down on his back and circled her arms around his shoulders.

 

Julian felt betrayed. He hoped that they had straightened things out. He could feel the anger calming down a bit. Her body felt so good, and her hair made his body tingle. He loved her, plain and simple.

 

“ Jules, please hold me,” The tears that Mary had been crying grew as she begged her lover to hold her, to love her. She needed him more than she wanted to, “ Please, Jules. Hold me and love me, I need you so bleedin’ bad.”

 

Julian coughed, he heard the weeping in her voice and felt the tears on his back and all his anger melted away. What power did she have over him? He turned and pulled her into his chest. He held her tightly, rocking her like he had done so many times before. Whispering in her ear how he felt and that it would be all right. He wasn’t just whispering to her that it would be all right, but to himself, too. He wanted so much to believe that it would be.

 

 

He gave her small kisses in between his words. He felt her arms tighten around him, making him tighten his hold. Julian laid Mary down on her back, she pulled him down with her, not letting go. He felt the desperation from her. Julian stroked her hair, kiss her, and then brought his head back, just enough to see her.

 

“ Hey, it’s all right. Calm down, luv. I luve you, I do.” Julian soothingly told her, kissing the young woman’s forehead and stroking her hair.

 

Mary pulled at him. She needed him closer to her, needed to feel his warmth and love. She hated feeling so vulnerable and naked. Mary knew she wasn’t a weak woman, but all this was confusing and with everything else in her life, she felt almost like a child in his arms.

 

“ Jules, I need you, I need to feel you closer to me. I need you to make luve to me. Please, make luve to me?” Mary pleaded.

 

Julian cocked his head and nodded. He scooped her into his arms, lips touching, pressing softly and then more urgently. Desperation took over his body. The strong emotions that they hurled at one another made it even more urgent to be one.

 

Julian pulled away for a moment. Mary tried to pull him back.

 

“Darlin’, I’m only taking my jeans off. Can’t do anything through jeans now, can I.” Julian stated, smiling at the face that brought him so much joy.

 

Mary nodded as he took them off and lay down along side of her. He untied the belt from his robe, exposing the warm body next to him. Hands trailed down her body as he admired it once again. Soon more warm kisses came that again ended up in urgent ones.

 

“ Jules, just sag off on the foreplay, I need to feel you inside of me.” Mary moaned and pleaded once again. 

 

 

Julian could hear the need in her voice, the want and the need to be as one. It turned him on to know this. Legs were spread and the feeling of going inside was so desperate in both. Riding the wave, pushing slowly then moving faster, trying to prolong the end.

 

Mary felt him enter her and the sparks flew throughout her body, from head to toe. This is what she needed, what she wanted, to be one with Julian, to feel the love he had for her. The feeling grew so strong, maybe it was due to the fight, but it took over all her senses. The response was overwhelming to her, every nerve reacted, and every thrust took her further, deeper to another place. A place of ecstasy, the height she had never felt with anyone but Julian and now it was even more so. Her body rumbled like a mountain waiting for the avalanche to fall. It fell drawing her with it, the hard crashing of the rocks as they tumbled down and exploded to the ground. Mary screamed out loudly and then yelled her love.

 

“ I love you Jules!”

 

Julian felt the cascading pull him in. Sweat poured over his body until it shook violently with pleasure. Their pleasure, and her yells of love to him, words he had been wanting to hear whilst making love to his other half. He crashed, falling down, weak and with a powerful glow, trying to catch his breath.

 

Mary cried from the overwhelming emotions of their lovemaking. Arms took her and pulled her closely as she cried. She had cried once before from the experience of being together, this, however, was stronger. Wrapping her arms around his sweaty form she buried her head in the nap of his neck.

 

“ Honey, “ Jules panted, desperately trying to get his breath back and concerned about her tears, “ What’s wrong?”

 

“ I ….It’s ….. It was stronger than …..than the last time….I cried….I’ve never…..never felt such strong……….emotions or sensations …….you bring that out in me.” She nestled into him more.

 

Julian smiled and then sighed, a sigh of fulfillment. “ Yeah, me too.”

 

 

Julian stroked her damp forehead and then leaned over and kissed it. He held on to her tightly, love flowing so deeply within him.

 

“ I love you too.” He quietly told her, “Felt good to hear you say it to me for a change, during our love making.” He squeeze her and felt a nuzzle back, along with a kiss to the shoulder.

 

“ I’m glad, it felt good to say it instead of just thinking it. I feel so good, so content and so sleepy.” Mary moved to get comfortable, laying her head on his chest.

 

Julian continued to caress the soft body in his arms until he heard the steady breathing of sleep. Pushing away the world outside, he closed his eyes, feeling secure. He slowly drifted off with her.