PHOTOGRAPH SMILE

CHAPTER 15

By Sue

 

Remember I don’t own the Beatle’s or their families. This is a fan fiction from my warped mind. I took a part of this from Julian’s past record, but don’t’ worry all will work out. Don’t want to offend anyone, but want it realistic. Also would like to thank my friend Trini, who helped me to add a small scene to this chapter that makes it work better for the reader and the story.

 

 

Mary came back as she had promised. She wondered what had happened to Julian and wondered for the millionth time if it were she. After that one episode he had been fine as far as she had known, although she had heard stories of Julian’s drunken nights from people who knew them both. She remembered at one time Julian had numbed himself with booze and drugs. She knew it took a lot for him to get off that and get his life together. She only hoped it wasn’t her, or what they had agreed on with Alistair.

 

She walked into the room and watched Julian sleeping soundly. Mary sat softly on the bed thinking of everything that had happened since they had started hanging about with each other. Things between them had been so good, but it seemed that Julian had fallen in love with her and she with him. Only now she was feeling guilty. Al was trying so hard and didn’t know about the secret rendezvous with Julian, or what feelings had transpired between them. She had to admit the attention was nice; the love wonderful and so was the forbidden sex. But, to sneak around? She wasn’t that way, and knew Julian wasn’t either.  Like his father, Julian had grown dependent on Mary, lately, too much so. Then again with Julian sharing her, she could see why. Mary’s mind raced with thoughts of all that was happening, as Julian stirred and woke.

 

Julian’s eyes fluttered and saw Mary in deep thought. He knew what Mary was thinking, but he just wasn’t ready to face it. He knew he had grown to dependent on the young woman, lately and that it wasn’t fair to her. How could Julian believe that Mary could even be ready to handle the way he had become? Without knowing whom she’d pick, he never knew if it would be the last time he’d see her. His dad had told him last night that he was being needy and wanted Mary to give him all the answers and the love that he hadn’t found. How unfair and selfish of him, Julian thought. Then again it had to be his own pickled brain that brought that dream to him, but however he looked at it he saw it was true. He just couldn’t help himself. Every time Mary and Alistair were out together it killed him. Julian pushed the thoughts away. He opened his eyes so that Mary knew he was awake. 

 

Julian saw Mary with a bag in her hand. He moved and then brushed his hair to the side as he tried to focus on the young girl. Damn, he thought as he felt around on the nightstand for his glasses. He had taken out his contacts and now had to wear his glasses. He put them on and sat up.

 

Mary handed him the bag and he took it curiously, “ What’s this then?”

 

“Open it, you nit.” Mary laughed at him as she saw a smile on Julian’s face.

 

Julian opened the bag and saw the picture of him and his dad safely tucked away in a nice frame, again. He raised his eyes to Mary, who looked on to see if he liked it.

 

“Mar, you didn’t have to do this for me.” Julian looked at her stunned, and he knew it came out in his voice.

 

“ Yeah I know, but I also know that’s your favorite picture of you and your dad. I know you would have done the same for me too. So now you can put it back up then.” Mary smiled shyly at him.

 

Julian stared at the frame and the picture in it. Mary was so sweet, how could you not love her, he spoke silently to his dad.

“Thanks Mar, I can’t …… I mean this…..Christ, I don’t know what to say.” Julian looked from the picture to Mary with bewilderment.

 

Mary’s eyebrow rose as she snickered, “ Thanks is all you have to say. Besides, didn’t you say that to me when you got me the necklace and then the earrings?”

 

Julian bit his lower lip, nodded and then smiled at her. “ Cheeky”

 

“ You’ve known that for sometime now.” Mary laughed, “Feeling better I see. C’mon, got some soup on the stove.” She motioned to Julian as she got up.

 

Julian looked leery, “ You made soup? Canned soup?” Julian hated canned soup and made his own, often freezing it for another time.

 

“C’mon Jules, no it’s not from a can. I found it in the freezer, now get your lazy bum out of bed, your lay in is over.” Mary watched Julian as he threw a pillow at her, making laughter fill the room.

 

“Ya scared me, you did. Canned soup! I wouldn’t be caught dead eaten that crap.” Julian got up, a smile on his face. Yes, he felt better, but he also knew why and hated the reason. He heard the dream of his father in his head and willed it to stop.

 

“ I know, that’s why your soup is cookin’. So lets have ya.” Mary told him as she ran down the stairs to check on the food in the kitchen.

 

 

A few days later, Julian found himself at the McCartney house. He was supposed to meet Paul. They were going to jam for a while. He got out of his car, climbed the stairs and rang the bell. The door opened to Stella. She was dressed in jeans, a blouse and bare feet. Her dark blonde hair fell a bit in her face. She tilted her head up and smiled at Julian as she pushed the piece of hair behind her ear. She opened the door and watched Julian come in. He was wearing tight jeans, a button down cotton shirt and trainers. Stella felt her heart race at the sight of him. He was so sexy and handsome. The feel of Julian’s body as he brushed slightly against hers, coming into the house, made her react more to this man she had known all of her life. Her sister didn’t know what she had, Stella thought, again.

 

“ Jules, what are you doing here?” Stella questioned happily.

 

“S’poseta jam with your da. He around?” Julian scanned the few rooms he could see from the main one.

 

“ No, he’s out with Heather, be back in an hour or so. Maybe he forgot the time. He’s like that these days, not like him at t’all. But, with all going on, you can understand why. James is out for the day, and,” Stella stopped, their eyes met.

 

Julian knew what Stella was going to say. It pulled at his heart. Only he was determined not to give into the feelings.

 

“ Mary’s with Al?” Julian finished Stella’s sentence.

 

“ Yes, yes she is. Should be home later,” Stella became excited as she remembered something, “ Jules, I finished a dress for my new line of clothes. Come see, I wanna mans point of view on this one. I made it sexy, so that the woman and the man will feel sexually lured by it. Come,” Stella grabbed Julian’s hand and pulled him excitedly along with her, up the stairs and into her room.

 

Julian sat comfortably on the bed. Stella took out the emerald green silk dress. It had a low-neck line, the top lifted with a form fit to the breast area. The sleeves were dipped to the middle of the shoulder; there was a curving waistline that would show off the shape of the woman that would wear it. The skirt was tight and looked to come just below the knee with a slit towards the front of the leg, which would expose part of the thigh. She held it up, walking over to Julian.

 

Julian smiled and nodded his approval. “ Y’know, that is spectacular. I love it, “ He told her with some excitement in his voice, “ Very sexy, Stel. Y’know what would really pull it off? Hair swept up with strands hanging down and around the back and side, “ Julian stood up and went over to inspect her jewelry. He picked up a pair of earrings from her box and necklace, “ These would accent it well, not too long or flashy and not studs either. This necklace is perfect. Black silk stocking and a pair of black heals, high ones at that. I mean, for the model you chose to wear it,” Julian turned and winked at Stella, handing over the jewelry to her.

 

“ Where’d you learn about fashion? I was thinking almost the same thing, only you gave me more of an expanse to the idea. “ Stella smiled as she grabbed black silk stockings and heals from her wardrobe.

 

“ Stell my dear. You forget quickly. I dated a few models in my day. I learnt from watching them. This dress is a classic that you’ve improved on. A bloke would die to be with a woman dressed in this. Good show, luv.” Julian sat back down and lit a cigarette.

 

“ Good, then wait right here and I’ll be back. I wanna try it and see what you think. Make-up? A lot or a little? And don’t give me any blarney, I need the truth, what will look good, sexy and right with this dress, all right?” Stell’s brow rose in question.

 

“ Of course, I’ll tell you as I see it. I told you I learnt a lot whilst with the models I dated. Right, now your make-up should be a bit like the forties, perfect shades of red lipstick, blush to set off the lips and do up your eyes, luv, “ Julian suggested, picturing it in his mind on Stella as he stared at her.

 

“ Brilliant, Jules. Let me go change. Stay here whilst I get this on to model it for you and then you can tell me the truth about my design.” Stella quickly scampered off.

 

Julian chuckled at her excitement. Her mood was contagious as he stared at the now empty hall. He picked up a magazine and flipped through it as he waited, snubbing out his smoke.

 

Stella quietly snuck back into her room. Julian was buried in an article he was reading. She knew he didn’t hear her step up to him. Stella pushed her legs against Julian’s knees. He jumped back with surprise, the magazine falling to the floor, opened, face down, pages curled under.

 

Stella smiled at the surprised look on Julian’s face. She watched as he scanned her from top to bottom, his lips spreading into a full and appreciative smile. Stella could feel the affect she was having, a smile crossing her lips as well.

 

Julian’s surprise quickly turned around. He was stunned by what he saw. Stella looked fantastic, the dress, stockings, heals, hair, jewelry and make-up, perfect, bringing out her sexuality and beauty. The affect she had intended on when making the dress, worked. His eyes slowly washed over her in amazement and appreciation.

 

“ Whoa, you look smashing. You wanted sex to pour out of your creation and believe me it does,” Julian smiled with a nod.

 

“ Good, that’s what I was hoping for.” Stella told him, pleased.

 

Stella placed her left leg over Julian’s lap. Her wrap around strapped heal rested on the bed, the slit in the material, dropping to either side of her thigh.

 

“ I want you the feel the silk stockings and the dress. I want you to get the full affect. Then I’ll know from a male point of view how this will work with sales. Don’t lie to me, Jules. I need you to be honest,” Stella smiled, her heart racing, hoping she’d get the response she wanted. She knew that he was Mary’s, but she was with Al and Stella had a feeling that Mary would chose Al. Waiting for Julian to do as she asked, her mind wandered, hoping that she could be with him awhile, after Mary went with Alistair. Stella knew that wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but she just couldn’t help the way her mind was thinking. Was it because Mary had been with Julian, that now, she too wanted him? Was it the kiss that she had conned him into, or was it the feelings she had had a long time ago for Julian that now had resurfaced? All she knew was she wanted to know what it would be like to be with Julian.

 

Julian looked up into Stella’s eyes, a bit unsure of doing what she asked. The male part of him wanted to. He hated that, it was wrong, yet ran so strongly through him. He slowly raised his hands to her ankle and then cuffed them, tenderly around it. He ran his hands slowly up her leg, absorbing the way it felt, feeling the way it turned him on. Not like it turned him on with Mary, but how a one-night stand of lust would.

 

Stella could see the difference in his breathing and feel the difference in his body, as his hands softly and snuggly rose up her leg. She felt her body temperature quickly rise as Julian’s hands came to her thigh. Stella placed both of her hands over Julian’s so he wouldn’t stop. She had felt him ready to stop and pushed at his hands to go further. Stella’s eyes bore deeply into Julian’s.

 

Both jumped, startled when they heard a voice. Stella fell and Julian caught her, pulling her to the bed along side of him.

 

“ This looks rather cozy.” Mary accused as she scowled at them both, “ What did I walk in on?”

 

 

Julian jumped up after making sure Stella was all right. “ Mar, this isn’t what it seems,” Julian fumbled for his words. He walked over to Mary, his heart pounding in fear, remembering how cross she had gotten with him over the kiss he shared with Stella.

 

Mary raised her hands. “ Jules, Al is downstairs, why don’t you just go down and keep him company whilst I talk to my sister. Please, act casually.”

 

“ You expect me to act how? I really don’t want him rubbed in me face.” Julian told her adamantly.

 

“ Jules, I didn’t want this rubbed in mine either. Thought we talked about this once before. I do need to talk to my sister and I imagine you are here for daddy, he did say something earlier about you dropping by. I didn’t want to come here, especially seeing your car and thought I could get out before you saw us, sorry. Then I see this, “ Mary put her hands on her hips as she huffed, “ Daddy must have gotten the time wrong. Go on down, daddy will be here any minute, please.” Mary tilted her head. She knew this was more Stella then Julian. She planned on setting her sister straight after Julian went. She didn’t want to throw Alistair in his face, but felt she had no other choice. They had stopped to get something Mary had forgotten and then were going to leave right away. She never expected to walk in on this, Stella all over Julian.

 

 

“ Right, I’ll chat with our Alistair, then. I’ll be nice, mum.” Julian said with sarcasm. He reluctantly existed the room, leaving the two sisters alone to battle it out.

 

 

Alistair was sitting on the couch, waiting for Mary to return when he saw Julian. Alistair stood up and shook Julian’s hand. He had met Julian several times and liked him.

 

“ Julian, how are you, mate?” Al asked whilst shaking Julian’s hand.

 

Julian took his hand back. Visions of Alistair and Mary together filled his head. How could he be civil with this bloke? He shook it off and told himself he’d make it quick and then go to the kitchen or perhaps leave.

 

“ Fine, just fine, mate,” Julian tried to hide the strain in his voice.

 

“ I’m just waiting for Mary to come down. Hey, between you and me, I think she’s almost ready to set the date for the wedding. Great, huh?” Alistair smiled, oblivious to Julian’s discomfort.

 

“ Bloody marvelous.” Julian told him, monotone and with a force grin.

 

“ You all right? “ Al inquired.

 

“ Right as can be. Paul was supposed to meet me here, s’posen he forgot. I’ll be off. Tell the girls I’ll see them. Can ya also tell them or Paul, if you see him, that I’ll give him a ring?” Julian asked. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t be around Alistair. He couldn’t stand to hear that the man thought Mary was almost ready to set a date for a wedding that Julian didn’t want.

 

“ Right, I will, then. Sorry ‘bout your plans getting mucked up. Good to see you, anyways.” Alistair told Julian.

 

Julian started towards the door. “ I’m sorry ‘bout a lot of things getting mucked up. Gonna head out for a few pints. Ta-ra.” Julian stated, closing the door behind him.

 

 

The next afternoon, as it started to turn into evening, Mary made sure she stopped by Julian’s. She felt awful about what was happening between the three of them. She had noticed when Julian opened the door that he had been drinking again. She walked into the main room and turned to him. He looked bad, dark circles under his eyes, a five o’clock shadow sprung from his face and he shook a little.

 

“ You don’t look good, off colour a bit. Get drunk last night? Drinking again today to ward off the hang over and feel better?” Mary eyed Julian.

 

Julian shrugged and poured her a glass of wine and him a glass of rum and coke, adding just a touch of coke. He handed it to her, took a drink and then lit a cigarette. He leaned forward giving her a sweet kiss. “ Yeah, didn’t take to talking with Al, so went off to the pub. Had more than I was going to is all.” He told her in a matter of fact way, “ If I’m drinking today it really doesn’t matter now, does it? I’m not drunk,” Julian answered defensively. He then changed the subject, “Come to the kitchen, just made something to eat, there’s plenty.”

 

Mary followed him in and sat as she watched him drink more and try not to show her he was trembling a bit. He put the plate in front of her and she had to admit it smelt heavenly. Then again, Julian was a great cook. “ I wish you wouldn’t drink so much. I mean you used to and then you drank normally, now this.” Her brown eyes met his hazel ones.

 

“ I don’t wanna talk about it, really it’s nothin’ to worry over. Now eat, it’s good.”

 

“ I know it’s good, you made it.” She smiled, dropping the subject for later.

 

 They ate dinner and joked around as they cleaned up. Julian felt alive again and he hated that it was because Mary was there. When did he become so co-dependent on this light brown haired beautiful young woman that stood next to him drying the dishes? He didn’t know what to do with these feelings. He felt again, as if he had allowed himself to become entangled in a web that he couldn’t find his way out of. He felt it in the pit of his stomach as he looked up at the clock, knowing Mary would leave in a few hours and he wouldn’t know when they’d see each other again.

 

They took their tea into the living room and sat down.

Julian looked over to Mary, “ Whatcha want ta do?”

 

Mary gave him a thoughtful look, a look that clearly said she didn’t want to say, but had too. A look that said she had had something on her mind for a while.

“Hows about talking?”

 

Julian again felt that horrid feeling in the pit of his stomach, he exhaled slowly before he spoke, “ Right, what’s on your mind?”

 

Mary put her mug down, “ A few things actually. I see what’s happening to you, and I don’t like it. I feel a bit responsible…..” Julian cut her off.

 

“You’re not responsible at all.” Julian stated adamantly.

 

“ Yes, I am. I am feeling so much better these days and it has a lot to do with you. I know how you feel about me and what you’ve been doing when I’m not here. You’re backsliding to your old ways, the drinking and stuff. I am rather busy these days with helping dad and sorting things out with Alistair. You have helped me so much the last few months to get back on my feet and in the process you’ve lost yourself. Plus, we got involved, I can’t tell you how much being with you has meant to me but I think it isn’t good for us to carry this on. I love being with you Jules. Bloody hell, I love you, but not the way you want me too. I think it’s better if I stay with Al and go ahead with the wedding, “ Mary sighed loudly, “ Jules you need to go home and start back up with your music and everything else you do. You need to get back into your charities and stuff, get yourself back.” Mary looked down at her hands after she had finished. She hated doing this but she couldn’t drag this on anymore. It wasn’t doing either one of them any good. She knew it would hurt him and it also hurt her very much, but it made more sense to her to stay with Alistair, they had a history.

 

Julian felt sick, the pit of his stomach churning again as he listened to Mary. He knew it was a speech that was hard for Mary to say and it was one that Julian would have said just several months ago. He didn’t want to hear it, but he knew again that it was all true, just like his dream of his dad and what John had told him. Julian fought back the fear and the tears. He looked down too, not wanting to look over at Mary, if he did the tears would come and he wouldn’t be able to control it. Is this how you felt dad when Yoko told you it was over? How the hell did you handle this? He knew his dad wouldn’t answer him, it was just comfort for him. Especially after that dream he had a week or so ago.

 

“ Yeah.” Julian said dryly, “Maybe you’re right at that. I think I’ve taken things a bit far and need to get back to myself. I’m glad you are feeling better. I hope I really did help and you aren’t just saying that.” Julian picked up his mug and hid behind it, “ I hope you and Alistair are happy,” It was hard for him to say, but seeing her happy was important to him, even though Julian would rather see her with him.

 

Julian saw Mary get up and come over to him. He felt younger again and helpless, he had felt all along that something had been wrong with this whole thing. It was better to stop it now, but that didn’t take away the God-awful pain. He stood up to face Mary, knowing he’d still love her even if he nearly lost his heart over her, or did he? He wasn’t sure anymore.

 

“Hey, I hope we stay in touch. I mean you really did help me so much. I enjoyed what we had, but I can’t keep hurting you. You see I do love being with you and it would be selfish on my part to keep it up. I love you. But I think it’s better if I stay with Alistair. Anyways I best be going. I’ll miss you.” Mary drew Julian in to a long hard hug and then released him, “ Thank you for everything, I’ll never forget what we had and hope that someday we can be the friends we used to be.”

 

Julian saw Mary’s eyes shining before she turned to leave and knew that she was hurting as well. He heard a clanging metal sound fall onto the hallway table and without looking knew it was the flat key. He then heard the door slam and that’s when he collapsed into sobs that shook his whole body.

 

Julian fumbled through the days and went out during the nights. Sometimes he felt he was in a time warp of yesterdays gone by so long ago. He’d go with his old mates from years ago, sometimes staying with them but most of the time waking, hung over, the next day, in his own flat. He knew in the back of his mind he should leave and go home. Julian knew he had to sober up and take his life back. He had to finish his CD, get his studio built and take care of the club.

 

He had finally written the title song for Photograph Smile with a friend, Greg Darling, on the phone. He wrote down the words and knew it was Mary’s song. Truth be told, he hadn’t left England yet for the reasons he had written in his song. He was hoping she’d phone him and feel what he felt, alone. So, some days he just did that and stuck around the flat to see if the phone would ring. When it didn’t he was back to his destructive ways, making himself numb, feeling it was wrong, but not able to go home, yet.

 

Julian took a gulp from his first drink of the day. He had run out of rum and frankly didn’t care what alcohol he drank as long as it got him through the day and numbed his pain. He sat down at the piano and looked over the song he had finished for Mary. Photograph Smile, she would have to know it was about her. Julian turned on a studio ten-track tape machine to get a feel of what the song would sound like. His cigarette sat burning red ambers that turned into gray smoke in the ashtray that sat by his drink.

 

He began the intro to the song, filling the flat with his sad soul as his voice poured out his emotions.

 

There's a light on that covers the blue
and I want to be closer to you
and she's smiling and waving goodbye,
who'd've thought that I'd ever ask why?

And she's waving goodbye with that photograph smile,
under the heavenly blue,
I'm never gonna be closer again,
I'll never know,
I'll never feel you, ever again.

And I wait sitting here by the phone,
with the hope that your heart isn't stone
and I wish that you'd call me and cry,
so I'd know how you feel deep inside.

And she's waving goodbye with that photograph smile,
under the heavenly blue,
I'm never gonna be closer again,
I'll never know,
I'll never feel you, ever again.

Heavenly voice won't you guide me,
help me I'm falling too deep.

And she's waving goodbye with that photograph smile,
I'm still in love with that photograph smile,
please don't deny me,
I've waited so long,
waited so long,
I want to feel you, feel you again.

He finished with a sigh and looked over at the picture of Mary. She was sitting in front of him with blue skies behind her. It was the one he had loved that they took in the park and had put it in a thick silver frame with raised twirling ridges on it. He always kept it on the white baby grand that he had gotten as a gift from a friend. His piano was another instrument that always went with him wherever he lived. The sound the piano made was exquisite, he could never find another that sounded quite like it. Julian rewound the tape and started to listen the song playing back at him. He’d set up more tracks for background on the other tracks of the studio, to finish it up more, later. Julian felt the tears wash down his face as he listened and stared at the picture. It had been a little over a week and the pain was still so strong.

 

The phone rang stopping his thoughts. Julian turned off the studio recorder, dried his eyes and swallowed the rest of his drink. He cleared his throat to answer the phone. To his surprise it was Stella.

 

“ Jule’s?”

 

“ Stell, how are you?” Julian asked feeling less lonely.

 

“ I’m good, but know you aren’t. Mary told me what happened and how she and Alistair are talking about whether they should marry. She sees him all the time and she told daddy you went home. He was sad you didn’t say good-bye. I told him you sent it through us, sorry. “ Stella explained quietly.

 

“ Well can’t go by the house, so I’m glad you told him at that. Ta, I do appreciate it.” Julian sincerely told her.

 

He took the cord over to the bar and sat down. Running his hand through his hair he debated on his second drink of the day as he lit a cigarette, eyeing the curling smoke and the bottle on the bar. He twirled the cord around his fingers.

 

“ I called for another reason. I’ve heard your running with your old crowd; don’t think that to smart of you. How ‘bout we go to a pub, hear some smashing band and have a grand time of it?” She asked hopefully. Stella didn’t like the crowd he was with and knew if he didn’t get away he’d go backwards even further.

 

“ Yeah, like that, I would. Come for a bite and we’ll go where ever you want.” Julian suggested, in deep thought.

 

“Lovely, I’ll be over in a few hours. Remember, something veggie, please?”

 

Julian heard the excitement in Stella’s voice. He had to smile at her reminding him to make something veggie, “ Like I’d forget you’re a vegetarian?” Julian gave a sober laugh, probably the first one in the past week or so.

 

“ No, suppose you wouldn’t. Should I wear that green dress?” Stella teased.

 

“ No, don’t think I could handle that one, besides it would be out of place at a pub. I’ll see ya soon. And luv, thanks. “ Julian told her humbly.

 

Julian went out with Stella that night. They had a fantastic time, listening to music dancing and talking. They stayed away from any subject that would turn to Mary or the family. Julian drank way too much, leaving Stella to drive him home. She helped him to the couch and watched him pass out. She took off his shoes and covered him, locking the door behind her as she left. Poor sod, she thought as she got into the car and made a mental note to hang around him more and try to get him to go home and straighten up.

 

Over the next few weeks Stella came by several times. Julian would listen as Stella tried to encourage him to go home and get his life together. He tried when they went out not to drink so much, sometimes he would and sometimes he’d lose out. When he didn’t over do it, he’d make sure she left shortly and drink himself to sleep.

 

When she didn’t come by he’d go back out with his old mates, not wanting to be alone and realizing that maybe Mary would never call. He was at a pub with one of his old mates, both drunk. He knew Ian was still using drugs and found himself thinking about it a lot lately. Ian had offered many times, but Julian kept saying no. Ian had stopped asking. Stella was coming by the next night and they were going out to a nice club that she wanted to go to. There was a band at the club they both wanted to see.

 

Julian hadn’t been blind to the passes Stella had been making. He would want to take her up on them, but always seemed to be to bloody drunk to carry it through. It suddenly occurred to him that when he had used cocaine, he was able to both drink and have sex, without a problem. He leaned over to Ian as they walked down the sidewalk in the cold month of October. He took a huge drag from his cigarette and then exhaled as he kept throwing around the thought of asking for some cocaine.

 

“ Ian,” Julian pushed his mates shoulder with his own shoulder not walking straight.

 

“ Yeah mate?” Ian threw his cigarette to the curb whilst they continued to walk.

 

“ I know you’ve asked me before and I’ve said no,” Julian bumped into his mate, not able to balance himself. He was drunk again as he wobbled and stopped by a shop and leaned against the cold brick wall.

 

“ Julian, it rather cold out, lad. Ya ‘avin’ a time of it walkin’ are ya?” Ian chuckled.

 

“ A bit. Look, spot me some coke, would ya? Or I’ll pay fer it now, then.” Julian felt around for his pocket and sloppily took out his wallet.

 

“ Whoa, won’t be doin’ tha’ ‘ere. Let’s go back to me flat, you can crash there and I’ll fix ya up. I knew it wouldn’t take ya long ta be askin’ me. Seein’ that girl’s sister tomorrow are ya? Well the coke will ‘elp ya get a good shag on. C’mon. I’ll help ya get ta the flat.” Ian chuckled.

 

“ Yeah, She’s a bleedin’ looker. Been makin’ passes, she has. I need a blasted shag, me knob will be fallin’ off if I don’t. Yeah, the coke will ‘elp. I’ll be able to shag the little darlin’ whilst I’ve been drinkin’, with that magic powder ya got.” Julian smiled as he tried to put his wallet in his pocket.

 

Seeing he couldn’t Ian just shook his head. “ ‘Blimey, been that long, ‘as it? Ere, let me ‘old on ta yer wallet whilst we go ‘ome. I’ll give it back after the sale. Now, c’mon, before I become a popsicle.”

 

Ian put his arm around his friend and helped Julian back to his flat. He took Julian’s wallet and fished out more money then was needed for the coke and pushed the vile and wallet into Julian’s hand.

 

“ Ta” Was all Julian could say as he kept missing his jean pocket and then finally put the wallet and the vile in his jacket pocket.

 

Ian threw Julian a quilt and made his way to the bedroom. Julian still had his coat on. He didn’t unfold the blanket but put it on his lap. Julian pulled a small couch pillow to the arm of the sofa and laid his weary head against it, allowing the alcohol induced sleep to take him.