PHOTOGRAPH SMILE CHAPTER 19

BY SUE

 

 

Remember I don’t own the Beatles or their families. This is a fan fiction from my warped mind.

 

 

Time ticked away, sliding around the face of the clock, making hours into days, days into weeks. Julian went to Italy and ended up putting his house on the market. He placed all his furniture into storage. Away from England and Mary, Julian stopped drinking the way he had been. Rested and more himself, he went on to his mother’s for a few days. Cynthia was glad to see Julian was more focused and had plans to get back to. Her only child, now a man, had started to heal. They had long talks, in one talk he was happy that his match making, putting his mom and Noel Charles together, seemed to be working. Julian cooked for her and Noel, since they were now living together. They had a wonderful visit until it was time for him to get back home, to his life and plans.

 

Julian had spent only four days in Italy and three with his mom. He came home ready to work. Songs written and ready to record, along with the song he was giving to charity, which wouldn’t be on the new CD. It felt good to be home. Julian checked into the club and made plans to start recording up until the week before Christmas, which was when Zak and Sarah had planned to come out for their visit. After the holidays Julian told Zak they’d finish working on the CD. While waiting for production and a release date he’d visit Sean in New York and then on to the promotional circuit. He also told Zak he had written a thank you note to Stella. He was pleased to receive a loving and relieved letter back. They both had agreed that sleeping together would never happen again, their curiosity fulfilled, but they’d be closer friends now, with all that had happened between them. After all Stella was the one who helped put Julian’s head partially back on and Zak helped with the rest.

 

Zak was pleased to hear of the plans and about Stella. Julian’s mind was working

non-stop, Zak wondered if he was giving himself time to get over Mary. Being in the music business, Zak knew how fast things needed to go, he figured it would be good for his friend. Zak would be on tour and Julian would be promoting and on his own tour. Maybe they’d meet in the same city or one close by, they joked.

 

Several songs would be finished, making the CD halfway done by the time Sarah and Zak would arrive. Julian did indeed call the CD, Photograph Smile. He was careful not to dedicate it to Mary, but to the stepfather he truly loved and had originally moved back to Italy for. Julian had looked forward to spending time with Roberto. Two weeks after Julian moved back to Italy, in 1994 and right before he was to visit Roberto, he got a phone call, his father figure had died. After four years, Julian decided to show the love he had for Roberto by dedicating his CD to the man that had been like a father to him.

 

Julian had agonised over selling the home in Italy, but now was ready. Roberto had told him many times, that he must live his life for every moment. Julian came back to Monaco with that very thought in his mind. The club was running fine, the CD going well, a song sent off to charity, and life was starting to fall back into a comfortable place. He knew it wouldn’t take long to record this CD, since he had worked a lot out, with the music, ringing the band, discussing how the songs would go. He was pleased that this would be his first CD that he’d have total control over. He had a dear friend who had a studio help him with it. His waiting of five years for the record contracts to expire and then another two years, had certainly been worth it. He missed the music and was anxious to get back to it. After all it was in his Lennon blood, he’d mused, thinking about it.

 

 

It was the week before Christmas, Zak and Sarah were due to arrive that night. Julian left the key to his flat hidden so they could drop off their luggage and meet him at the club.

He was as excited as his friends where and couldn’t wait.

 

Zak walked into the club with his wife on his arm. She was beautiful, long wavy dark hair, love still in her eyes for her husband. Zak was dressed in jeans, and a nice shirt. Sarah opted to wear a summer dress. She was ready for the warmth and the balmy breezes of the sea after how cold it was in England this time of year. The club served food in the kitchen that sat in the back. The bar was long and sat on the side of the club, while tables and chair outline a small dance floor. The stage was also small, located in front. Smoke filled the air, circling with the slow turning ceiling fans. Zak and Sarah were expected and led to a table up front by the stage.

 

The band finished a song. Zak looked up to a familiar voice and face. Julian had taken the stage as he did a lot. He sang a few numbers. Seeing his friends he waved and gave a wink. He held a cigarette with one hand, the mic with the other. He had on lightweight trousers and a red long sleeve shirt. He ended up dedicating the last song he sang, a slow song, to Sarah and Zak, called “Because”. He watched as the two danced slowly, Sarah’s face lying gently on Zak’s shoulder, you could feel how much they were still in love. This made Julian smile as he sang the song a bit long for their dance.

 

After he was finished, Julian jumped off the stage. Zak and Sarah met him as he walked towards them. The jukebox was pumping out music while the house band took a rest. The three friends all hugged one another.

 

“ That was so sweet of you to dedicate that beautiful song to us, Jules.” Sarah smiled up at her friend, her arm still looped in Zak’s.

 

“ Yeah, didn’t expect that one, man. Lovely choice, it was. We enjoyed our dance,” Zak smiled, taking his hand and squeezing his friend’s shoulder, “ Great club ya have here,” Zak told Julian as he looked around seeing people laughing, dancing, eating, drinking and just have a good time, “ Now I see why you love this place so. You’re flat, by the why is unbelievable. Not huge like I thought it’d be, but nicely done,” Zak chattered on.

 

“ Glad you liked the song,” Julian told them both. He looked around with Zak and Sarah, a smile crossing his face as he thought about what Zak had said, “ Yeah, it’s like a second home to me and my partner in crime. I love this place. Glad ya like the flat. It’s big enough for me and put together the way I like it. You had no problem finding it or settling in?” Julian asked, while escorting them back to the table. He spotted a waitress as they walked, “ Kelly, fetch us some more to drink, wouldcha please?” Julian smiled at the young, pretty waitress who gave him a friendly smile back.

 

“ Sure, Julian. I’ll be right over with them.” Kelly started to the bar.

 

“ Found it just fine and found this place too. Very close, we walked here,” Zak told him and then watched the waitress come right back with drinks.

 

Kelly placed the drinks on the table, picking up the empty glasses to put on her tray. Her dark long hair held in a ponytail slid over her shoulder as she did this.

 

“ Ta, Kelly. “ Julian winked at her.

 

The young waitress blushed. “ You’re welcome, Julian.” She said and then skipped off to her next table.

 

“ I think that waitress fancies you, Jules.” Sarah told Julian as she watch the girl’s reaction to her boss.

 

“Ya think?” Julian asked a bit bemused in never have noticing it.

 

“ I think Sarah is right. Seems a few here have eyes for the famous Julian Lennon.” Zak laughed at his friend’s surprise and then smacked him gently on the shoulder.

 

“ I’m not the famous Julian Lennon, here, mate. One of the community, I am, just one of the club owners who makes music as well, “ Julian tilted his head and looked at the women that worked for him and a friend. He then looked back at Sarah and Zak, “You think some of these here girls fancy me?”

 

“ Why wouldn’t they? You’re good looking, a sweetheart of a man, gentle, talented, have just about everything a girl could want. If I wasn’t married I’d be in front of the line.” Sarah told Julian as she laughed.

 

“ I’m right here listening to you, girl. You’d be right up front for him now, would ya?” Zak’s brow rose at his wife.

 

Julian chuckled at them. “ Must be fun being married. Come off it, mate, she’s just larken about with ya. She means the other birds here. “ Julian turned from Zak and gave a sly wink to Sarah who started to giggle.

 

“ That’s enough now. Stop yer flirtin’ with my wife.” Zak smiled and laughed too.

 

Julian drank up his drink and then lit a cigarette. “ I love pullin’ your wife, Zaky.”

 

“ The two of you just stop now.” Sarah smiled with a snicker.

 

“ Just muckin’ about, luv. “ Julian chuckled, joined by Zak.

 

Zak and Sarah looked a one another. Julian saw the look and figured they were just giving each other a look that only a couple would know. A look that just the two in love understood. Julian missed that but quickly pushed it aside.

 

“ Hey, are you going to show us around. I’ve never been here before. I mean the grand tour can be tomorrow but my husband tells me there is a deck on the beach? I’d love to see that, can we?” Sarah excitedly asked, leaning over onto Julian’s arm.

 

“ Zak, I think your wife can’t resist me charm.” Julian gave Zak a quirky smile.

 

“ Resist your charm, mate? Oh, bollocks to that one.” Zak couldn’t stop laughing.

 

Julian quieted down his laughter. “ Who can resist my charm and good looks? Even the young Mrs. Starkey here, can’t. “ Julian joked, kissing Sarah on the cheek.

 

“ Eh, don’t think that’s quite fair now. Keep your lips to yourself and not to my wife.” Zak playfully punched Julian.

 

“ You jealous, Zak?” Julian teased back.

 

The club disappeared to both of them as they rose and started to playfully fight.

 

“ Ahhhh fighting for the fair Sarah Starkey are we?” Julian howled.

 

“ I supposen we are at that.” Zak howled back, ignoring the patron’s looks and laughter.

 

Sarah stood up and smiled as she coaxed them to the porch with their joking. Giving up they wrapped an arm around each other. Sarah slid under both their arms and became the middle of the bond as Julian led them out side.

 

“ See, she fancies two good looking men around her.” Julian said playfully

 

Sarah snuggled up to both men, “ Can I help it if I love my husband? And love to be held by him and also love one of his best good-looking mates? And adore also to be hugged by him? “ Sarah smiled, looking from one to the other.

 

They both shrugged at the same time making Sarah laugh and the two friends smile at one another.

 

:”She has us there, Jules.” Zak agreed with his wife.

 

“ That she does,” Julian agreed too.

 

He led them out onto the porch. The wooden porch was painted sea foam green, surrounded by railings ending at the stairs that led down to the beach. Tables with close, umbrellas and enclosed lit candle lamps sitting in the middle of the light blue cloths that covered the wooden tables. Benches surrounded each, tiki torches burned in the corners, lighting up the area with a few outside lamps. You could still hear the music, but also you could hear the sea as it hit the beach. It was hard to see so far out with all the lamps lit. Sarah pulled away and leaned her stomach against the railing as she looked out at the beach and water in wonderment. 

 

“ Zak, this is so bloody marvelous! Come take a peek at this!” Sarah yelled with excitement.

 

Julian pushed his mate towards Sarah. “ Go on and take a look with your wife. I’ll be heading back in, enjoy.” Julian told him as he started to turn.

 

Sarah bolted up quickly and Zak looked at her in alarm.

 

“ No, Julian, Come here too!” Sarah yelled at him, “ I need both of my favorite men. Besides, I’ve never been here and want to hear a bit of the stories from around these parts. After all Princess Grace lived here.” Sarah saw Julian’s look and knew he’d come over to them. Zak gave Sarah a relieved look, making sure Julian didn’t see it.

 

 

“ Alright, I’ll see what I can remember. “ Julian leaned his back against the railing on the other side of Sarah.

 

“ Thanks, Jules.” Sarah smiled sweetly, looked at her husband and then back at Julian.

 

Julian started telling them of a fable from the area. They listened in amazement. Zak nudged his wife, lightly with his shoulder. He locked his hand in hers.

 

“That was a beautiful tale. What about the tale of a mysterious woman who comes from a far off land? You know where all you see is her silhouette. “ Sarah asked as she slowly moved away with her husband so that Julian could see the side of the beach they were hiding.

 

“ Never heard of that tale. “ Julian said in deep thought and the turned to the left throwing his cigarette out.

 

“ Oh I have, mate. And if you look hard, real hard to your right, out onto the beach, you’ll see the tale as it comes to life.” Zak told his friend quietly as Sarah and he moved further back so that Julian could look where Zak was talking about.

 

“ What do you mean?” Julian asked confused, looking at his friends and then noticing that they had moved backwards.

 

“ Look” Sarah said softly to Julian as she pointed to the right.

 

Julian turned his head to see a dark silhouette coming to a stop before the lights hit it. A quizzical look etched his face as he squinted his eyes to see what or who it was. He then looked back to his friends who had suddenly disappeared. Confusion hit him. Where did his friends go and who was this? He looked back at the silhouette seeing only a hand with the pointer finger motioning for him to come down.

 

Julian twisted his head and again looked to see where his friends had gone. “ You having a lark with me?” He yelled to them. Hearing no answer back and still seeing the finger motioning to him, his curiosity got the better of him. Slowly, he dragged across the railing resting against his arm. At the end were the stairs that led to the beach, he stopped. Julian straightened up, put his hand on the railing, he stepped down carefully, still trying to see whom this was. Both feet hit the sand, the figure moved back and Julian followed.

 

“ Hey! Wait! Who are you?” Julian yelled, but still followed. Only the blackness of the figure could he see as it led him away from the club and further down the beach to the water. Julian saw a blanket laying across the sand, four heavy lidded candles covered the four ends of the blanket, he looked at it strangely and then back to the figure that started to move closer. They were both out of range of the lights from the club.

 

Julian moved closer to this figure. He saw tan linen pants, what looked like a flowered blouse and a tan linen jacket that blew with the long hair in the balmy breeze. Still confused and now with his curiosity pouring over, he quickened his pace to see who this person was. The person stood still waiting for him to come closer.

 

Julian stopped just before he came to the figure. “ Who in God’s name are you? I can’t bloody well see in the dark. Stop lurkin’ about and come here. Let me see you.” Julian questioned with frustration and still searching for an answer.

 

He stood and watched the person come closer. Soon the person stood in front of him and his heart jumped all most out of his throat, from being startled. Then as he looked he realised who this strange figure was. “Mary?” came a voice barely audible from his mouth.

 

The figure stepped up close to Julian, so close they were almost touching. “Yes.” Was all she said with a smile.

 

Mary saw the shocked look on Julian’s face. They stood close to the blanket. Though the candles weren’t very bright she could see enough of him to see the shock and emotions run across his face. He stood so still she thought he’d pass out from surprise,

 “Jules? Jules, are you alright?” Mary questioned fretfully.

 

Julian’s mind was going crazy. What was going on? His mind was so jumbled. After a few minutes he heard his name called. He felt himself come back out of his shocked state while questions filled his head.

 

“ Mary. “ Julian said again as it finally hit him. He still stood there not believing what he knew to be true. Her perfume intoxicated him as it had the many times they were together. He couldn’t believe this. Was he dreaming? Then he asked, ”Am I dreaming?”

 

Mary smiled the same smile that he loved or at least one of the many smiles he loved. Julian asked her again. “ What are you doing here? Like I asked you, am I dreaming?” He asked again in a shaky voice, soft and gentle, with amazement to it.

 

“ No, I’m really here. Julian, I’m so sorry. I had a long talk with Zak and Sarah and Stella. After seeing you at the airport I couldn’t believe the feelings I had inside for you. It just was never like that for Alistair and me. I hid and watched you until the plane took off and then couldn’t get you out of my mind. I never could really. I tried to. Tried to

re-kindle things with Alistair, but nothing was the same no matter what I did or tried. After you left I began to think long and hard and within a week, broke it off with Alistair.

I could never feel for him the way I do for you. I hope I’m not to late. Zak said no, so did Sarah and Stel. Are you alright?” Mary asked looking with concern, deeply into his eyes, not finishing the story.

 

Julian was shocked to hear her confession. It was something he had dreamt of. His heart raced, love washed over him, all he wanted was to hold her in his arms and claim her as his, “ Yes.” He cleared his throat, realizing how dry it was, “ I ….I just don’t believe my ears or my eyes, is all. You broke it off with Alistair?” He asked. This was nothing he had expected to hear and he never imagined seeing Mary under these circumstances.

 

The breeze had blown hair over Julian’s right eye. Mary reached over and brushed it away. “ Yes, it’s over between Alistair and me. I told him I didn’t love him anymore. I knew it would hurt and didn’t want to hurt him, but I told him I was in love with someone else. He was upset and angry, wanted to know who. I wasn’t going to tell him, but figured the papers would get hold of us, if I were lucky enough to have you back. He wasn’t happy. Yelled a bit and stormed off. I cried, I never wanted to hurt you or Al. Stella told me about how bad you got after I left and I had also seen how bad you were getting before I broke it off. I knew it was hard for you knowing I was with Al in public and you on the sly. A bit dodgy, that was. I couldn’t do it to you anymore. Stella told me how she took you out a few times and how messed up you’d get. She said you got rather bladdered and she’d have to help you into the car and drive your car back to the flat. She said she’d help you into the flat and you’d pass out. The times you didn’t get as bad you pushed her out rather quickly and she knew it was to drink more. I’m so sorry, luv. “ Mary stopped, a tear falling down her check.

 

Julian wiped it away with his index finger. His heart ached, he needed to hold her something fierce, but he needed to hear the whole story and need to talk to her too.

“ Did Stella tell you what happened between her and me? She said she did.” Julian watched for a reaction.

 

Mary took a deep breath. She knew she had told Stella to go ahead and then talk him into going home. “ Yes, Stella asked me first. I told her to go ahead, knowing her crush on you. I told her as long as it didn’t turn into something more than a fling and to talk to you about leaving for home. She told me about that night. I wanted to hear. She breezed over some of it but I wanted to hear it all. I was bloody jealous, I was. But I had told her she could, and I broke it off with you, so the blame rests more so on me. She wouldn’t have done it, she wanted to, but told me only if I was ok with it,” Tears again fell from her eyes, “ Julian, I didn’t know about the drugs. Stella told me everything, told me she told you she was showering and how wired you were the night before. She then told me she caught you with more coke. After that she said she made sure she got rid of it, pissed you right off, especially when she threw your drink away. Then again, she needed to. See my mum did that to my dad when he sunk so low after the Beatles broke up. Stella remembered the story that mum told both of us about how she handled our father. Stel said she did the same thing that mum did. That she could see after making you think that you weren’t as far gone as she had thought. She got you to straighten up your act and realise you needed to come home and get back to your life. She said she helped you with it and Zak told me the same, that Stel helped you. Zak told me how he found you the day you were leaving and what happened, so he helped you as well. I’m glad they both did. So I have no problem with you being with my sister. After all I was with Al a few times. Not many, but a few, after weeks of him courting me. So how could I be mad? The only thing I’m mad about is you.” Mary tenderly caressed Julian’s face.

 

Julian had been listening hard, taking every word she said in. He again brushed the tears from her eyes, tears that were brimming in his own. “ I’m glad you’re alright with it. I mean Stel and me. I swear, it was just lust. I hadn’t been with anyone since you and on the coke and all I was ready for a good shag. But like I told Zak, with you it was so different, love pouring over me, it made our loving making real, wonderful and so sweet. You filled an empty place in my heart and to me, the love I felt for you made loving you so much more fulfilling than a lustful night,” Julian slid his fingers under Mary’s chin, pushing her tear stained face to meet his. He knew she could now see his tears and with the other hand wiped the salty water that didn’t reach his mouth away, “ Do you luve me, girl?” Julian asked, needing to hear it.

 

Mary smiled, tears still falling, but slower, now. “ Yes, yes with all my heart, body, mind and soul as you used to tell me. Now, I feel the same exact way. I fought it hard. The loyalty to Alistair made me feel like I couldn’t fully be honest with you. I had to try, to see and I saw, that you are the one. You are the other part of my soul. Please say you feel the same and it’s not too late?” Mary’s shaky voice begged, pleaded and asked.

 

Julian smiled down at her lovely face. Hearing those words from her mouth made his soul soar, his heart pound, hard, his body ach and his mind race. “ It’s not too late, luv. God, I’ve wanted you so much for so long. I got back to my life and just made myself busy, so busy I’d push you out of my mind. Mary McCartney, I love you, I love you as I’ve always said, with all my heart, body, mind and soul. You’re the one, you’re my other half, “ Julian sniffled, “ Sorry, I just can’t believe you’re here and tellin’ me this. Please, I need to hold you, to kiss you, please?” Julian felt overwhelmed by his feelings. He needed to touch her, to hold her, to have her in his arms and kiss her.

 

Mary reached up to him, her arms encircling his neck as her lips met his. The electricity shot through her again, just like at the airport, but stronger. Julian felt the same, as the kiss grew deeper with more need. After kissing for sometime, Mary gently broke away, she saw Julian’s puzzled look.

 

“ I made us a place to sit. Sit on the blanket Julian, I need to ask you something very important,” Mary gestured to the blanket.

 

Julian ‘s eyes went from her to the blanket and back to her again. He was unsure of what was going on. Fear filled him at the thought that maybe this was just a dream. Or could it be she changed her mind if this wasn’t a dream? He didn’t know. He saw her move towards the blanket, again gesturing to him.

 

“ Please, luv, sit.” Mary gently told him again.

 

Unsure, he sat down on the soft blanket. Light glowed off his face, shined in his hair, from the four candles. He sat facing the ocean as she had pointed and watched her kneel before him. He didn’t know what she was doing, but watched with curious eyes. He watched the light now shine off of her hair and sparkle off her watery eyes. The fire captured her smile so brightly he wished he had a camera.

 

Mary was nervous as she knelt before Julian. She took him in with her eyes and felt her heart hammer inside as she picked up his right hand. She gently caressed it with her one hand. The other hand fell into her pocket and then onto her lap.

 

“ Julian, I love you more than I’ve ever loved a man in my life. Again, you are my heart, body, mind and soul, the other part of me. I can’t ever think of living without you,” Mary stopped to gage his expression.

 

Julian tilted his head as he listened to her. His emotions over flowed, pouring over his body as it tingled to what she was saying. Love is what was etched all over his face.

 

Mary was so relieved to see the love that shone from him. She raised his hand and picked up his ring finger. She opened her other hand and slowly slid a coral white ring that she had gotten at the airport down to his knuckle. Mary looked to Julian, their eyes connecting. She knew he didn’t understand yet. “ Julian, I picked up this ring at the airport today. I know it’s not much for now and I’m sorry for that one,” Mary looked down and sighed getting the courage up. She realised just how hard it must be for a man as she looked up and re-connected with Julian’s eyes.

 

“ Julian, would you do me the honor of loving me forever, letting me love you forever, letting me have your children and most of all, marrying me?” Mary saw the shock come over Julian’s face again.

 

Julian couldn’t believe it, this was the last thing he had expected. Filled with love but dumbfounded by it all, he shook his head yes. Within a few minutes he pulled Mary into him and hugged her hard. “ Yes, Oh God, yes I’ll marry you, love you forever, take care of you and give you children, our children.” Julian laughed with happiness as Mary hugged him back. Julian’s mouth covered Mary’s in need. The kiss grew more urgent, more passionate, as he pulled her down with him. She lay sideways, her mouth never leaving his, never wanting to ever leave him. Julian could hardly believe any of this. Dreams can come true, passed through his mind as did what Roberto had told him. “ Son, live each moment to the fullest and you’ll be surprised.” Julian quietly thanked his stepfather as happy tears ran down his face mingling with Mary’s wet face. He never wanted to let go of her, never wanted her to leave, he was afraid if she did this would just be that dream he had talked about. So they lay on the blanket kissing, holding and muttering their love to one another. Content in that moment.