~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Becomes
Two
By
Tom Austin
The screen came alive with pictures of days passed. They evoked
memories. Mostly pleasant ones, but at the same time sad memories for the two
who could not be there. Paul put his hand to his mouth while Heather giggled.
Ringo was transfixed looking at the images before him. Barbara had seen
pictures of her husband when he was younger, but none like this. For they
detailed what life was like for him and his friends in the early days of
international fame. The film was black and white, and at times the sound was
poor. Paul and Ringo were seeing this for the very first time. It was the
unaired footage from a documentary. What they were seeing was from the cutting
room floor. And they were the first to see it in almost forty years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the film began all four Beatles were planning their escape. In
the hotel they would have to dodge their friends, hotel staff, security guards,
policemen, and the odd fan that managed to get past the army of security
guards. The fire escape looked like their best method of escape. If their
attempts were discovered by Brian, Mal, or Neil, they could look forward to
their stay being a rather confining one. John had his feet up, Paul was at the
window, George was strumming a guitar across the room, and Ringo moved from a
chair to the bathroom, and had a Look Magazine curled up in his pocket
"Prisoners on Devils Island can at least move around. WeÕre
prisoners of own fame. I wish we were in Florida" said Ringo as he closed
the door.
"I want to get out, and take a look at this city. ItÕs the
first time IÕve been here, and for all I know it might be the last time IÕm
here. I need a ciggy. Whose got one lads ?" asked John.
"DonÕt look at me. IÕm checkinÕ out the birds" said Paul
George tossed a pack of cigarettes from across the room.
"Here ya go. Now you have to stop saying I donÕt give you
anything" added George. This comment made John sit up.
"I never said anything of the sort you nasty brute" said
John in rebuttal.
"Oh yes you have John Winston Lennon. You said it in our
press conference. And donÕt you deny it" said a rather upset George.
"My arenÕt we touchy today. WhatÕs the matterÉmiss somebody
?" teased John.
"Never mind what or who I miss. Just keep thinking" replied
George. When John put his feet back up Paul sounded the alarm.
"Bugger ! Security" whispered Paul
The lads hurriedly rushed towards a card table, and pretended to
play cards.
Just then a rather burly man with glasses poked his head in the
hotel door.
"ItÕs just me guys. UhÉwhat are you doing ?" asked Mal.
"PlayinÕ cards just like we were an hour ago" said
George
"What ya playinÕ ?Õ asked Mal
"Poker. And JohnÕs winning" said George.
"Brian wants me to ask you if you would like to do a radio interview
this afternoon ?" added Mal
"NO" said all three in a resounding chorus.
"Just out of curiosity whereÕs Ringo ?".
"The loo. ThatÕs where he does his best thinking, or so he
says" said Paul.
"Well one the chambermaids wants his autograph. Could you ask
him for me. I donÕt want to disturb him" asked Mal.
When Mal closed the door to the hotel suite the door to the
bathroom opened. Ringo was holding a city map. "Got it all figured out.
Where do you want to go ?"
"Where the girls are" said John sounding like a mad
professor.
"UhÉJohn. I hate to break it to you but youÕre a married
man" said Paul
"I know. ItÕs for me scrapbook of memories when IÕm old and
gray" replied John still sounding slightly crazed.
"You donÕt have a scrapbook" said George.
After another minute passed all the cards were placed on the
table, and the lads moved to the window in the bathroom. Only from that window
could they possibly reach the outside and freedom. Ringo was the first to go.
"Free at last, free at last, thank god almighty free at
last" proclaimed Ringo.
"I think heÕs out" said Paul
"You figured that out did ya ?" asked John
Paul crawled out the window next.
"Me Paul of the concrete jungle" bellowing at the top of
his lungs.
"Nice going Tarzan. You almost let the whole world know weÕre
escaping. Honestly, didnÕt you ever do this before" asked George of Paul.
John went next. When he was about to jump he couldnÕt help but
notice RingoÕ nose, and the comment Pauls pseudo-grandfather made about
"mocking the afflicted". Still it was a "hideous great
hooter".
John pointed at RingoÕ nose. "You know when yer not using it
you could rent it out for parties"
"Stop pickinÕ at me neb why donÕt ya. I happen to think itÕs
quite distinguished. Beside the I like it, and so do the girls" replied.
The screen went white as if it was time to put on another reel,
then the footage started up again. The scene was of the lads trudging back to
back to the bathroom window and the hotel fire escape.
"How come nobody brought any money" asked Paul
"Because Brian never gives us any. Not in this currency at
least" replied George.
Brian, who was waiting for them, leaned out the window.
"I see the wandering minstrels have returned. Have fun seeing
the sights boys ?" Brian looked at John.
"We had a fantastic time. Did you know some of the people
here have two or three dust bins" said George trying to sound upbeat and
sarcastic.
Once the boys climbed back in the bathroom window Brian gave the
lads the ear bashing they had hoped to avoid. He stood in the middle of the
hotel room, arms crossed, shaking his head.
"IÕm very, very disappointed in all of you. I see that I
canÕt trust any of you. Mal, Neil and I only want to protect you. But instead
of trusting us you sneak out like undisciplined school boys. Well at least
youÕre all right. From now on the bathroom window will be nailed shut. And youÕre
going to be doing that radio interview".
"Please sir, please, anything but that" cried John, now
on his knees at BrianÕs feet.
"Knock it off this instant" bellowed Brian. The lads had
never seen him quite this upset. "You four took it into your head to sag
off, driving me potty with worry, and if the opportunity presented itself to
pull a few strokes. YouÕve given me little choice. Instead of a real nosh-up
tonight you get jam butties. And the fellows at Capitol would like a few words
with you too. They were here waiting for you while you were larking about. So I
guess youÕll just have to fit them in while having your jam butties".
Heather asked her husband if that really happened. But before he
could answer a white glow came from the wall. John and George had poked their
heads through the wall. The film stopped.
"You bet youÕre azimuth it happened "Legs"".
Brian was really annoyed with us" said John.
"And those jam butties were terrible. I can still taste
them" added George.
Barbara looked a little bit upset. After all, it was the first
time she had watched any film in the presence of ghosts. In the past some of
the people she had seen films with were dead from the neck up, but never
completely dead. You could tell she was upset by the fingernail marks she was
putting into her husbands arm.
"Is that himÉreally him ?" said Barbara pointing at
John.
"ThatÕs our Johnny all right and will you please stop being a
cat. IÕm not a flippinÕ scratching post" replied Ringo.
Barbara looked at the damage she had done to her husbands arm.
"IÕll kiss it to make it better". Ringo had a better idea. "Why
donÕt we talk about it when we get home". "If you know what I
mean" he added quietly.
"Well I know George. He was at our wedding" said Barbara.
"Will you please stop talking about me in the third person
like IÕm not even here Babs. IÕm as real as you are. IÕm just a frigginÕ
ghost" groused George.
Barbara hated it when anybody called her "Babs". Now she
have to amend her dislike to anybody "living or dead". George came
out the wall and sat in a chair. Barbara now offered pop corn as a peace
offering.
"Sorry if I offended you George. This my first encounter with
ghosts". She held out a box of non fattening popcorn. "No thanks. I
donÕt eat anymore". That was it. That was the last straw. Barbs composure
left her, and she fainted into her chair. Ringo carried her into the lounge
where there was a couch while Heather followed close behind. John promptly
removed himself from the wall and took Barbs seat. "The more things change
the more they stay the same. Birds have been fainting at my feet for over forty
years now. What you think causes it Paulie ? My magnetic personality ?"
When Paul heard the question he suddenly felt mildly ill.
Meanwhile Heather returned to her chair. "WhatÕs cookinÕ good lookinÕ
?" John asked Heather. "John, are you always so free and easy with
your comments to a lady ?" she replied. "That comment sounds so,
soÉsleazy ?".
"Sorry Ōbout that "Legs". DidnÕt mean to bug you.
ItÕs a term I learned while watching some American TV show called "Happy
Days". HowÕs Bea ?".
"SheÕs as good as gold, but she misses her uncle John. As for
me IÕve been good too. I didnÕt kill any dishwashers this month".
Paul crossed his arms, and looked towards the ceiling. Then tore
into John like he hadnÕt in decades.
"Is that all yer going to bleedin say ? You vanish before our
very eyes, you upset Heather, you upset Bea, and you upset me ! For christs
sake John, youÕve got to be more responsible. You canÕt just fade in and fade
out whenever it suits you. You upset any member of my family once more and yer
out !. Now what have you got to say for yourself ?".
"Look sport, I didnÕt plan or want to fade out on you. And if
that fadin' bit upset you IÕm sorry. But think how I felt ! I had a long talk
with Eppy and he said that will happen every now and then, and thatÕs thereÕs
nothing I can do about it. So if you want to piss and moan at me go ahead. But
donÕt bitch at me for something I canÕt control. I canÕt control it any more
than you can control you age".
George looked at Paul. "HeÕs right Paulie. YouÕll find out
all about it when your time comes. Think of both of us as coming attractions.
But if you piss us off you might have nobody to meet you than some old fart
with the personality of a piece of wood".
"Well me mum and dad are there" said Paul
"Not any more. They moved last week. We should know. John and
I helped them" added George.
Ringo had no wish to reopen any wounds, especially now that they
were finally closed. So he adjourned to another room. Heather and Barbara, who
had just returned from lieing down, joined him. Paul, John, and George talked
amongst themselves.
"IÕve been staying away because something has got me royally
cheesed off. For some fuckinÕ reason I know GeorgeÕs thoughts and he knows
mine. He may have been known as the "quiet Beatle" but this old
reprobate is a regular mixer. He has the dirtiest mind. You wouldnÕt believe
some of the thoughts in his head" said an abnormally restrained John .
"YouÕre no saint John Lennon yerself. Do you want me to tell
Paul what you thought of him in Õ66 ?" added George.
The expression on Pauls face was one of bewilderment. Two people,
that knew each other for almost fifty years, who looked up to each other, and
were almost brothers, had access to each others thoughts. Paul looked at
George.
"You mean you know what heÕs thinkinÕ ?" Paul asked
George while pointing at John.
"I sure do. And heÕs got the most polluted mind in the world.
He only thinks about one thing. Sex. I didnÕt know he had the hots for Pattie.
Did you ?".
Paul hemmed, hawed and blushed a bit. "Well as a matter of
fact I did. We were doing some frigginÕ album, and you couldnÕt make the
session for some reason. John and I started shoottinÕ the shit, one thing led
to another. And John blurted out he had the hots for Pattie. You have to admit
she was one tasty bird".
"But she was me bloody wife. Mine !" said George
incensed that one his best friends had intimate feelings for his ex-wife.
"Why didnÕt you tell me sooner ?" George demanded to know.
"You just donÕt say something like that" said Paul.
"ThatÕs a bleedinÕ cop out if I ever heard one" bellowed
George.
"Truth ?" said Paul.
"If you think you can handle it" crowed George.
"The truth is I was jealous of you. I thought you played
guitar much better than me, and when you married Pattie I thought there was no
way I was going to be lucky enough to get a girl like her" said Paul
"Bull ! You had Jane Asher !" said George.
"Jane was of one world, and I was of an another. The world I
inhabited, hell we all inhabited, was one that could almost change overnight.
We gave life together a bash. But ultimately our worlds never met. Hers was too
different from mine. Not soon after we became engaged she said something IÕll
never forget. She said "if you really loved me youÕd leave The
Beatles". There was no way I could or would have done that at that time.
You guys were more than brothers to me, and still are. The group meant
everything to me. If I had left it IÕd spurt" confessed Paul.
"Straight up ?" asked George
"Straight up, all the way" said Paul.
"Christ. I need a drink after hearinÕ all that." Said a
George who was obviously taken aback by the sudden honesty.
"I hate to break all this honesty and crud, but do you think
we get back to the "real" problem" John interjected.
"Sorry. Do have any idea how this happened" asked Paul
of John
"DonÕt ya think weÕve asked ourselves that. We donÕt even
know when it started. If I donÕt get George out of my head IÕm going to go
starkers" said John
"How do you think I feel. YouÕre no joy to have rumbling
between me ears. My thoughts are just that. Mine. And to have you privy to
them, without permission, well that pisses me off more than you could ever
know" responded George.
"I do now" added John who wore a mischievous smile
"Get outta my head. You thunderinÕ about in there makes me
ill" said George while eyeing a brandy bottle.
Together they left Pauls in search of their friend Brian Epstein.
After taking what probably felt like a small eternity explaining the situation
to Brian, Brian felt duty bound to do what he could for his old friends. Being
dead had itÕs advantages. Brian was now privy to a vast repository of
knowledge. He picked up a very large book and started leafing through it. In it
he discovered the last time this occurred, the reason for it, and how to
correct it. As Brian perused the book he discovered he was supposed to ask a
few questions.
"After you both died did you two ever do something together
at the same instant as the other ?" asked Brian.
"Would ya mind repeating that ? I think we need a
translation" said John
"Maybe I should read you whatÕs written down. Now listen
carefullyÉitÕs in a very odd dialect".
"When the thoughts of phantoms two become one, they did as
one something. The actions of the two, now one, can be undone at the Plain of
Salisbury. The stone of time can heal the wound. The two now one must touch.
Time will be undone as will the one return to two. Should time not be undone
the two will be one forever." said Brian
"Would ya mind putting that in terms I can understand"
asked George
Brian closed the oversized book and spoke. "Both of you need
to go to Stonehenge. There you must both touch the stone of time at the very
same instant. When you do you will be whisked back in time to witness the event
that started your thought exchange. Then and only then will you have a chance
to alter the event and change what has happened to you both. But you will only
get one chance. Failure will mean remaining as you are for the remainder of
eternity".
"Ok Brian, youÕve had your fun. Now what does it really say
?" said John expecting Brian to grin as only he could. But he did not.
"ThatÕs it boys. I canÕt sugarcoat it anymore. Go to
Stonehenge, locate the stone of time, touch it together, and find out what
started this all. You'll go back in time, but you will only get one chance to
undo this mess. You asked me what it meant and I told you. Now I suggest you do
what I said and this will all be over, that is unless you enjoy hearing each
others thoughts" said a tired Brian. He discovered dealing with any
Beatle, even in the afterlife was just as tiring as it had been when he was
alive.
As John and George entered Salisbury Plain they found themselves
at the back of a queue of tourists, all snapping pictures. There was one, the
leader of the group, with a microphone telling the tourists all about
Stonehenge, its age, and other information. The leader of the tourists called
out the name of the stones, and said what they may have been used for. When the
stone of time was identified both ex-Beatles hurried towards it. John touched
it first, then George. Nothing happened.
"What the fucks wrong" yelled John
"Brian stressed that we were to touch it at the very same
instant" said George.
"How the hell are we supposed to do that ?" said a
visibly exasperated John.
George held on to Johns wrist while John touched the stone. As he
did the sky above them grew dark, lightning flashed, the wind picked up, and
thundered boomed. Just then they noticed the rock was alive. And it spoke to
them.
"Be you phantoms ?"
"Yes. Two as one" shouted George as the wind picked up.
"Behold" said the rock.
The weather cleared as quickly as it had appeared, and John and
George could see themselves walking towards Pauls house, and passing through
the gate that surrounded it. At the very same time. That must be it !. The gate
!. George rushed over and touched his otherworldly counterpart on the shoulder.
The counterpart hesitated just long enough for Johns counterpart to pass
through the gate first. GeorgeÕs counterpart followed, but a fraction of a
second later. The sky again became dark, and the wind picked up again. They
were back at Stonehenge. George thought of something. There was no reaction
from John.
"What did I just think" he said
"How the hell should I know" said John.
"Do you know what this means" said George
"WeÕre two again. Not one" George yelled. When he
stopped yelling he hugged John.
"Hey donÕt go all frigginÕ mushy on me". The hug
continued. "Oh Christ youÕve gone potty".
The next instant Brian was before them both.
"I trust everything worked out to your satisfaction"
"You bet it did. HeÕs finally out of me head"
John looked at both of them with a very puzzled expression.
"And I can see heÕs outta his" said John
At BrainÕs suggestion George started telling John all about what
had happened.
"You mean you knew what was in me head ?" bellowed John
"Yup. Everything" said George
"Oh shite. I think I need to sit down" said John
"Oh no you donÕt. We were invited over to Pauls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As they walked to the house they faced the gate that surrounded
the house. George took a step back from the gate, and bowed. He motioned for
John to go first.
"After you dear sir" said George
"I think youÕre stranger now that yer dead" replied John
The screen came alive with pictures of days passed.
Tom Austin
Email
- taustin@pathcom.com
