CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

 

 

The night was young and so full of promise as Paul stepped out of the shower and placed a towel around his waist. He shaved and then splashed on some cologne; he winced at the burn he felt. He placed his hands on the sink and leaned into the mirror to stare at his face. No longer unrecognizable, it was more familiar to him then it had been in months. His eyes no long sunk into his head, the circles that surrounded them were gone and the weight he had lost was now back filling out his face. He could smile at himself again and not feel like he had to look away every time or smash the mirror and smile he did as he picked up the brush to run through his hair.  He hoped things would go all right tonight. He didn’t have to much trouble this week , there had been less bouts with anxiety and the feeling of loss. Tonight would be the test with everyone here. He had only to deal with Yoko, John and once with Cyn and Julian, he felt comfortable with that. Now with everyone here he would see how it went. He took a deep breath and let is out slowly. Yeah , he was nervous but the positive out weighed the negative at this point and he would much rather go with the positive as he had in the past. Besides, he was told by his doctor that if it got too much to take a break every so often so he wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed and that’s another thing he was going to do.

 

He whistled as he changed into a tight pair of black dress pants and a red button down shirt. Martha looked up at him hearing the whistling.

 

“Ya think I look alright girl? Think I’ll smell nice enough for Cyn?” The dog perked up and went to him.

 

“Now you don’t want to be messing about with me pants. Get all your fur on me ….I’m sorry girl but tonight I’m gonna be with Cynthia and the mates you’ll just have to watch…..if yer good and don’t muck anything up I’ll give ya some treats from the table.” He bent down and petted her making sure his pants stayed away from her fur.

 

“You’ll like that one won’t ya. But I do look all right you say? “ He laughed.

“ Now come ead we have a party to attend to. “ He grabbed his black jacket and whistled for her to follow as he went down the stairs.

 

 

John finished slipping into his black pants and black button down shirt. He sat down to put on his trainers and watched as Yoko pulled her hair back. He liked it swept off her face like that, there was no hiding behind it and he smiled up at her when she walked back into the room. She wore no make-up and that was another thing he loved about her. Her true beauty, no hiding behind false eyelashes or anything artificial like that.  They were going to have a great time tonight. They had gone all out, food catered in and all sorts of exotic champagne among other things he snuck in. Yes, tonight was going to be great. He had set up the stereo and the records that they’d play. They even cleared out the big living room pulling the couches against the wall along with the tables so they could dance. He couldn’t; wait one more hour and the party would start. They hadn’t done this in a long time; just the four of them and their wives or girlfriends.  He was also looking forward to a late night jam session if all went well. He got up to meet her half way across the room.

“You are luverly my darlin.” He kissed her and pulled her tight to him.

 

She smiled up at him. “Thank you , you look good and smell good too. I see you’re excited about tonight”

 

“Yeah y know I am …..We haven’t done this in quiet some time and I am ready to have a party with me mates and you of course. Hopefully a late jam session will follow. I hope you won’t be to bored with the ladies.” He said with concern.

 

“No, I don’t think that bored. Besides I want to talk more to Cynthia about the job she wants. I got in touch with a few people I know and I think I might have something for her in a few weeks that she will enjoy. Besides most of the night I hope to be dancing with the man I love. ” She said as she stood on her toes and kissed him.

 

‘Well then I guess I will be the luckiest bloke at the party then. “ He hugged her back. “Come luv let’s make sure we have everything ready to go.”

 

They walked out together holding hands and with smiles on their faces, anticipating the evening.

 

 

“Pattie?” George called to his wife.

He paced around the floor waiting for her. Every time they went out it was the same thing , he waited and waited. She would fuss on end to get herself to look just so.

“It’s only the lads pet not the queen.” He yelled up reminding her.

 

“I know George….I just like to look my best…..I’ll be down in a sec hang on ok?” Her voice echoed down the stairs.

 

He smiled as he heard her. She always looked her best whether she tried or not he thought. He shrugged and took a drag form his smoke and a sip from his drink as he thumbed threw the paper for the third time. Ten minutes later he paced back to the stairs.

“I suppose it’s worth it, all this waiting. I mean you look smashing no matter how you dress.”  He wondered if she even heard him.

 

A few minutes later he heard her voice from the doorway of their bedroom answering him.

“Yes, it is worth the wait luv and you’d think I was smashing even if I was naked.”

 

“MMMM “ He thought loud enough for her to hear.

“Not in front of the lads luv not in front of them they drool to much as is.” He snickered.

 

“Then you see I must take my time to get ready; another five alright?”

 

“Suppose.” He walked away from the stairs and mumbled to himself.

“Another five that’s what she keeps sayin and it has been almost an hour now. What the bloody hell do women have to do that takes them so bleedin long?” He sat on the stool to look at the paper again for the fourth time. He should have taken out his guitar and not put it in the car. He took off his jacket and threw it on the chair; he had been wearing it all this time and now he was hot.

 

Ten minutes later he heard her come down the stairs.

“You’re not ready yet ? You don’t even have you’re jacket on.” She giggled as she teased him.

 

 

He shook his head and his hair along fell into his eyes, which made him look even sexier Pattie thought. He got up and grabbed his jacket before she forgot something and ran back up.

 

“Oh hold on I forgot something.” She ran back up the stairs.

 

“To late.” He thought as he slammed the jacket back on the chair.

 

He was surprise when she came right down again and he quickly grabbed his jacket and put it on.

“Alright?”

 

“Yes.” She smiled

 

He eyed her up and down and he swore that he was drooling. She had a black mini skirt on and a low cut green blouse that brought out her features. Her face was flawlessly done and her blond hair was swept up with curls around her face. Her long leather boots were black to match her purse and skirt. Her earrings were the perfect length to be seen with her hair. She looked like she walked out of a magazine. She took his breath away for the millionth time since he met her. He stood staring at her; in awe of her beauty.

 

“Was I worth the wait?” She teased seeing how he stared at her.

 

“Most defiantly …….most defiantly.” His voice trailed off in a husky tone as he walked over to her. He gave her a long kiss and squeezed her to him so he could feel her up against him.

“Fuck the party let’s go shag.” He breathed in her ear. His pants were getting tight and that mini wouldn’t take long to push up or tear off for that matter.

 

“George stop it now and get my coat please.” She smiled appreciating the fact that she still turned her husband on.

 

“Sure?” He eyed her with a pout on his face.

 

“Yes silly. Now come on we have a party to go to and they are waiting for us.”

 

He looked at her face as it lit up the room and he had to push himself away to get her coat. He tried hard to think of anything else to lessen his sexual frustration and the tightness in his pants.  His thoughts wondered to the new songs he had been writing and escorted his wife out the door.

 

 

The party was in full swing , everyone eating , drinking and dancing to the fast and slow numbers that John stuck on the stereo.  Mo and Ritch seemed as stuck to each other as Pattie and George were and John wondered if it would be an orgy or a late night jam session that would happen as he equally danced tightly with Yoko. His eyes caught the others one by one as he broke from Yoko and headed towards the back of the bar.

 

He huddled in the back of the bar on his knees. He swung his head around to see Ritch and George kneel down beside him. He held his finger up to his lips and laughed quietly as he motioned to the two crates on the floor.

 

George nodded to them…..”All champagne in them ?” he held his fluted glass in front of him. Ritch pushed John aside and sniffed like a dog on the trail of something. John laughed as he watched Ritch open the other crate. His eyes widened as a smile crossed his face.

 

“I knew you were holden out on us.” He pulled out a bottle of scotch.

“Ah the good stuff. Now what are you going to do with all this then?”

 

John held his fluted glass up and poured a healthy amount of scotch in it and then added the champagne to give it some bubbles and make it look like that’s all he was drinking.

“See mates it’s all in the presentation.” He smiled from one to the other.

 

“Christ Lennon that must taste like shite.” George shook his head.

 

“My dear Georgie, once you have some you’ll adapt to the taste. No different then mixing it with something else.” John wiggled his brow.

 

“And what would that something else be?” Ritch looked with anticipation at John, knowing him well enough to know he had more for them.

 

“Well, we could also do some of this.” He held out a bag with some good-looking grass in it.

 

He mixed their drinks up taking a swig when he could of the straight stuff. He looked up to hear a noise over the counter of the bar and saw a pair of large eyes looking down at them.

 

“Hiding out are you? Got that usual stash do you?” Paul inquired with a smile.

 

“Christ Paul you scared the hell out of me . Get your self behind here before the girls see you.” John admonished him

 

Paul crawled back and huddled in the tight area. He remembered how they would always end up huddled in some tight area to escape the attention of the press and Brain. He looked on knowing John always had some surprise waiting for them.

He had left Cyn talking to the other girls and knew right where to find them.

 

They huddled together mixing their potions into a few bottles that only they would drink from.

 

They all coughed at the taste of the potion he poured except him.

He shrugged “You’ll get used to it.”

“Come ead now they’re probably looking fer us.” He crawled over the other bodies and heard the grunts as he did. He looked back and snickered as he held up a joint and then they all followed.

 

Ringo pulled John back behind the others.

“Hey you think this is any good?”

 

John looked at him confused. “What the scotch, grass or the pills I have in me pocket ……Ha ! didn’t know bout that one did ya?” John chuckled.

 

Ringo took on a serious face at that. “Come on, John you know what I mean. Giving all this stuff to Paul?”

 

John made a face at Ringo’s seriousness. “Oh sod off Ritch yer bringin me down here…..Paulie’s been off the drugs and booze for a good while , what’s one night. Just like the bad ole days and Paul said that a few months back he wanted us to get together like the bad ole days…..Besides all I have is uppers on me nothing harder. We did them in Hamburg all those year ago or didn’t you and Rory do that stuff? I know you did with us……was Rory a pussey then?”

He elbowed Ringo joking with him.

 

Ringo frowned….”Rory wasn’t a pussey and you know it….Besides, I’m not talking about that or them I am talking bout our Paulie here.  “

 

John met Ringo’s gaze with defiance. “You better start muckin in here or we’ll have to send you back to the Hurricanes and that pussey Rory.” He gave a wicked laugh. 

 

  “Bunker off John. “ He said in a low voice so no one would hear them.

“Don’t feel so chuffed with yer self…..is this a smart thing to do is all?”

 

“You sound like a right old mama hen you do. Now stop yer worrin and let’s have us some.” His eyes still held Ringo’s as they heard George yelling from the other room.

 

“Come ead you wankers!!!!!”

They could hear the drunkard speech that was slowly entering the young guitarist’s voice.

 

 

The girls looked at one another in confusion and then it hit them as they watched the antics going on around them.

“Wot? Those scousers think we haven’t sussed them out do they? “ Maureen’s Liverpool accent thickened with the drinks she had .

 

“They’re at it again I see. They’re like little boys trying to keep a secret from mum. Only I’ve been around to long to fall for it.” Cynthia added.

 

“What do we do then?” Pattie asked innocently.

 

“Really Pattie you shouldn’t be so naïve. Didn’t you used to be a model and around people drinking and doing drugs and haven’t you done your share?” Yoko asked slightly annoyed with her feigning innocence.

 

“Of course I have but all I’m saying is do you girls want to get in on it or not?” Pattie clarified. 

 

“I’d say they’re being right dodgy they are. So let’s have a go with em. Wotcha all say?” Maureen’s face broke a smile, as she looked to the other three.

 

“I’m in.” Pattie chimed up.

 

“I don’t know…..really what are they thinking.” Cyn looked over at them as they headed out the door.

 

“They’re not thinking .” Yoko turned and looked directly at Cynthia.

 

“Well I betcha there’s a stash behind the bar over there.” Maureen stated as she headed over to it and found a case of scotch behind it.

“Right.” She yelled over the music and held up a bottle of scotch.

 

Pattie had joined Mo at the bar as they poured them selves a drink.

“Good and proper this one is.” She handed it to Pattie.

 

Pattie tasted it and coughed at its strength.

 

“Oh,  you’d never make it in the pool coughin it up like that. Let us show you the proper way to drink ye ole scotch.” Mo poured the jigger down her throat with out making a face.

“It’s all in how you toss it back it is. Y know like how ya toss back after they’ve made it.”

 

“What?” Pattie sputtered.

 

 

“ya know  what I mean…….supposen you don’t …..Sheltered girl were you?….Cum I mean luv.” Mo laughed at the horrid expression that covered Patties face.

“Gad, have I done it ? Gone and shocked your poor mind.” Mo laughed even harder as Pattie recovered and realize exactly what she meant.

 

“Oh, well I don’t…..I mean I never did until George that is.” She giggled.

 

“Well then try again and this time think of it in that way. Back of the old throat there luv.”

 

Pattie tried it and it worked. She didn’t sputter or choke.

“Brilliant!!!! I’ll have to remember that one at home.”

 

Maureen patted her on the back . “ You do that luv….you  do that.”

She brought the bottle around filling up the jiggers as the girls sat down on the bar stools doing shots.

 

 

They stood out in the cold winter air passing a joint from one to the other, something they hadn’t done in quite sometime.

 

George blew the smoke out and coughed a bit from holding it to long and passed the joint to Paul , who eagerly took it.

 

 John laughed…..”Held it to long did cha Harri?”

 

“Supposen so…..Hey do you realize that we hit the New Year before the States do.” He grinned staring at John with his glassy eyes.

 

“Hello anyone at ome in there…..Of course you prat we’re six hours ahead.” John laughed more then he would have ashe hugged George around the shoulder.

 

 

They sat on the table the four of them. Even though it was cold neither of them felt it. Paul lurched forward as the others looked on.

 

“You alright mate.” Ringo asked.

 

“Feels a bit queasy , I’m not used to drinkin I think.” Paul gave a dry heave and John jumped off the table.

 

“Here mate take a few of these fix ya right up it will.” John handed him some pills.

 

Paul examined them as they lay in the palm of his hand.

“Wot’s this?”

 

“Speed ….y know like the prellies in Hamburg…..now take it before you spew .”

 

Paul popped them into his mouth and chasing it down with the alcohol mixture he had in his glass.

 

“That’s better son. In ten minutes or so you’ll be able to drink and not even think about it.” He passed the pills around to all of them. Then brought his glass up as the others followed.

“To the good ole Hamburg days….Cheers.” They clanged their glassed together in a toast. John tilted his head back along with the others and the glasses were empty.

 

“Maybe we should go back inside ….The girls might be wonderin were we are.” Said Ringo.

 

“They know exactly were we are and by now , since you sods are so quiet, probably know where the scotch is and are attacking it as we speak.” He laughed as they all jumped up at the thought of their stash being broken into.

 

George and Ringo ran into the house. Paul pulled John aside and they sat back down on the table.

John looked at him with glassy eyes and a glowing face. He looked like he was burning up , Paul thought . He couldn’t be, it was to bleedin cold out for him to and he knew it was the drugs and booze that glowed through out John’s face.

 

“Wotcha wanten there Paulie.” John’s speech was slurred.

 

Paul knew once the uppers kicked in his speech would be more normal.

He didn’t know if this was the right time to talk to John. He felt the alcohol consuming him along with the pot and he too would feel better when the pills kicked in.

 

“John I wanted to talk to you bout Cyn for a sec.” He said seriously.

 

“Oh come ead and just go fuck her fer Christ sakes. That’s wot yer needin isn’t it now. It’ll fix ya right up ….a good and proper shag will do ya sume good.” John giggled and punched his friend lightly in playful affection.

 

“No….I mean I tried the other night and I just couldn’t do it. All this shite came back to me….an I well could carry through. “ He said embarrassed and feeling the uppers tugging on him.

 

“Ah Paulie now don’t be thinking that way ……Ya get loaded and give her a good pull …..She’s dyin fer a good shag she is and then it won’t be bothering you the next time…..” He stumbled as he got up and Paul caught him , setting him up straight. John bowed and almost fell again. He laughed. “Can’t wait for these bloody pills to start in …..See you’re feelin them.” He chuckled.

“Come let’s get inside before the stroke of midnight and we turn in to fairies.” He cackled as he stumbled to the stairs and slammed the door behind him going into the house.

 

 

Paul felt his heart start that familiar race and his mouth go dry. He poured some more of the drink into his mouth. His head felt dizzy and his mind drifted as he looked up at the stars. He laid down on the table and watched them form the constellations that he remembered from school . He thought how lovely they looked as they sparkled. He found himself singing quietly to himself and everything else left his head as he began to enjoy that wonderful feeling.

“twinkle twinkle little star……”

 

 

The music blared as it shook the room. John grabbed Yoko and started a fast dance with her. He saw the others follow suit and smiled as his head buzzed and everything melted away to just Yoko and the music.

 

 

Cynthia saw the other couples dancing and enjoying themselves. All of them drunk, stoned and with out a care in the world. She wondered where Paul was and decided to go looking for him. She felt odd not having a partner and wanted to dance . She remembered them coming in from outside but didn’t remember seeing Paul return with them. She took her coat and drink then went to the back door. Stepping out on to the back porch she saw him laying on the table, his knees bent up and his legs crossed, looking to the stars. She walked up to him and heard him singing a nursery song that she remembered.  He obviously didn’t hear her come up and was in his own world. She stood watching him. Her eyes wandered over his body and up to his face and she felt herself shudder at the feeling that flowed through her and knew it wasn’t from the cold. He looked dead sexy in that red shirt and tight pants. She continued to listen to him sing like a small boy would and it reminded her of her son when he would look up at the sky and see the enchanting stars that twinkled above them. The sight made him even more endearing to her.  She drew her coat closer even though she wasn’t cold and wondered how he couldn’t be cold with out one.

 

She came up to the table and sat on the corner near his head so he would see her.

She looked up at the stars that he had been staring at and noticed he had stopped singing. Her face dropped to meet his stare.

 

“Hello luv.” He said rather exaggerated.

“Bring me another drink did ya? Just in time too me mouth is dry as cotton.” He sat up on his elbow and took her drink swallowing the whole glass in a few gulps.

 

She watched him in surprise as it went down so fast. He put it down on the table to hard and the bottom of the flute glass broke off. His dazed smile looked up at her as his eyes held an apology in them.

 

“Oops sorry bout that. Would ya go and get us another?” He asked sweetly.

 

“I think us has had enough don’t you?” She got up from the table and looked down at his wasted appearance.

 

“Aww don’t be like that luv.” He got up and sat with his legs dangling over the edge. He reached out and pulled her to him tightly.

“You’re not mad are you? Please don’t be? If you were it would surely kill me as I sit.” He chuckled.

 

He brought his face down and nuzzled it in her neck. His cold nose rubbed against her as she felt his hot breath and warm lips trail kisses between her neck and shoulder. She felt herself shudder again as a warm glow shoot through her body straight down between her legs and it reminded her how long it had been since she had been with him.

 

“No I’m not mad really I just think you’ve had enough is all.” She said quietly not wanting to deter him form what he was doing.

 

God, it felt so good to feel him and she wondered if she should stop him before he left her like he had the week before. He had left her so hot that she had to run home, put Julian to bed and relieve herself.  She didn’t want to go through that again.

“Come inside and dance with me.” She reluctantly pulled away from him and took his hand in hers, gently nudging him to go with her.

 

He cocked his head and a silly lopsided grin appeared.

“Is that all you want from me is a dance? Christ , ever bird I’ve ever met wanted something more then that.”

 

She pulled away and looked at him still grinning. She didn’t like how he had said that. She wasn’t just any bird who wanted him to fuck her and she felt the anger creep up inside her.

“In case you haven’t noticed I’m not just any bird!!!!!” She started to walk away feeling hurt replace the lust she had felt a few minutes before.

 

Paul jumped off the table faster then she thought he could in his state. He grabbed her wrists and pulled her hard to him. Her body slammed into his. He wrapped his arms around the small of her back pulling her up and even closer, allowing his hardness to fit where it should on her body.

“Sorry luv,…didn’t mean anything by that….You’re different and y know  it’s you I love.” He breathed small kisses on her, arousing her even further this time.

 

She heard him speak and felt his hardness against her. He had managed to open her coat enough so she could feel his chest press against her breasts. His hand slowly ran up to them sending electrical shocks throughout her. His thumb gently rubbed her already taunt nipple.

God, she had to stop him, she thought. Her body was going wild and her mind was catching up but something nagged at her. The way he had said everything to her was the way she had heard him say things to hundreds of girls in the past.

He was drunk and stoned and she wondered if he even knew it was her? Yet, she couldn’t move from him. She cursed herself for needing to feel him so desperately; for wanting him to touch every part of her and for wanting to feel him deep inside of her again.  This had such a familiar ring to it. There were so many times that she allowed John to pull this with her. Was she that weak?

 

 

Paul’s mind swam and there was no fear , no horrible memories and his body was so ready for release. He needed her; he couldn’t think of anything else but to capture her and take her. He could see the reluctance she held but her body gave her away reacting to his every move just like any bird he had pulled. He had gotten so good at it in the past that he knew just about every signal and it was all coming back to him.  His hot lips covered hers, taking her and playing with every sensation in her body.  He could feel himself pulsating as he kept rubbing up against her. He knew he was right when a moan escaped her. A smile crept across his face as he teased her breasts through her clothes with his mouth.  

 

She finally got her senses back just enough to pull away. She stood there panting and staring at him.

“I’m not just any bird, I told you that….now come on in and maybe we can have a dance while your head clears a little and you see who I really am.”

 

He stood there cursing himself. He had come so damn close. He stood there eyes drooping, biting his lip and thinking. Right, if she wanted to dance she shall have a good sensual one he thought to himself. One way or another he was going to take her and it would be tonight. His breathing slowed a bit, but his nerves were wired. He was wired and thirsty. He took her by the hand and brought her into the house. He took her coat off of her gently with a loving smile.

 

“I’ll hang this up then. Care for something to drink?” He watched her bewilderment and chuckled.

“I’ll get us a drink …..save a spot on the dance floor for us.”

 

He quickly hung up her coat and then walked to the bar. He saw George standing behind it pouring some drinks.

 

“Bartender? Some drinks please oh and two jiggers of scotch as well.” Paul smiled

 

George nodded , taking his roll seriously as he lined up the drinks. Paul dropped an imaginary tip in his hand and George burst out laughing before he headed down the bar to Ringo and Mo.

 

Paul downed the two jiggers and saw John come up along side of him.

“Everything alright there Macca?”

 

He nodded smiling smugly.

“Takin yer advice there Johnny. Now be a good lad and give us some more of those pills.”

 

John smiled and pulled some out of his pocket. He gave some to Paul and watched him swallow them. He had another in his hand and instead of putting it back washed it down his throat with a drink.

 

By now everyone was drunk and high. John watched Cynthia and she wasn’t buying Paul’s pull to well. He knew why and figured if he gave her a bit of a buzz she’d shag him for sure. All she need was a push and he was going to give her a big one. He knew if Paul shagged her once in this state that he wouldn’t have much trouble the next time sober. So they wouldn’t have their jam session; that was fine by him. Right now he was frothing at the mouth for a good shag like the rest of them. Well, they hadn’t had a good orgy in a long time and this would be good. He waltzed over to them and tapped Paul on the shoulder.

 

“Excuse me but could I cut in and have this one dance if you’d ever be so kind.” He batted his eyelashes and watched Paul laugh.

 

“You mind ?” He asked Cynthia.

 

“No, not at all.” She let John lead her to another side of the room.

 

“What are you doin  luv…..I thought you wanted him?”

 

“I don’t want him like this……does he even realize it’s me?”

 

“Course he does Cyn. All he needed was a push and I gave it to him. Now you don’t want to be left frustrated again do you?” He looked down at her while they danced to a slow song.

 

“No of course not.” She frowned.

 

“Then stop frowning girl and jump him. I think you need something to loosen you up as well.”

 

“No, I’ve had a few drinks.”

 

“Not enough.” He laughed.

“Now this here’s a party and it’s almost midnight. “ He spun her over to the bar.

 

She shook her head when she realized he had brought her all the way to the bar and she hadn’t even noticed.

 

“A nice strong drink for the lady there Rings.”

 

Ringo had replaced George temporarily at the bar.

 

“What ever you say Lennie.” 

Ringo slid a tall drink into John’s hand. John winked at Ringo and then nodded.

 

Ringo got the meaning. He leaned his elbows close to Cynthia.

“Enjoying yerself then Cny?”

 

While Ringo distracted her, John smashed up a pill in his fingers and stirred the powder into her drink. He stopped to think for a minute as it brought a memory back to him. This was different then when he did it to Paul he reasoned.

This was to help both of them loosen up.

Ringo was too far gone to get all moral on him and he winked back at him when he was done.

 

“Drink up now Cyn and have a good time…..it’s almost midnight.”

 

She nodded as John handed her the drink.

“Go on with ya ……  drink it on up there.” He watched as she drank half of it.

 

She was thirsty and drank half of it down quickly. John kept up at her until she finished it. That seemed strange to her but right now she didn’t want to think.

 

“Now be a good girl and go fetch you your prince charming.” He nodded towards Paul who was now dancing with Maureen.

 

 

CHAPTER FIFTY!!!!!!!

 

 

CHAPTER FIFTY

 

Cynthia made her way back over to Paul, taking over as his dance partner when Mo decided she wanted to find her Ritchie. He swayed with her to another slow song that John had put on. He again had her pressed up hard against him. He was so turned on by this woman he could hardly control himself.

 

She laid her head on his shoulder feeling his hands slowly rub up and down her body. She felt her breath quicken when he grabbed her bottom, pulling her in closer. His hands stayed right there for a while rubbing her and he nuzzled her head back to a position where he could kiss her.

 

John smiled as he saw how heavily they were snogging. He knew it wouldn’t be long til Paul pulled her up to his room, just as Paul always did. Paul always had a way with the birds, not that he didn’t, but Paul seemed to thrive on the pull as well as getting the girl He could never get enough of them and went through them like water, he hoped now with Cyn that part of his sexcapades were over.  He broke free from Yoko as he looked at the clock on the wall. They gathered up some noisemakers and started handing them out.  Pity he thought, he really didn’t want to break Paul and Cyn up but midnight was five minutes away and he had no choice.

 

 

“It’s almost midnight everyone.” Yoko called out.

 

The couples reluctantly broke their bonds and John turned down the music.

 

“Here we have noisemakers for the lot of yous.” He laughed.

 

“I want a horn Johnny.” Ringo exclaimed.

 

John handed him and Mo one.

 

“And you dear beautiful Pattie what would you like?” He wiggled in place waiting for her to pick.

 

“I’d like a noisemaker thank you Johnny.” George chimed in when John only asked Pattie.  He saw how John stared at her, the way he always did and he immediately put a stop to it.

 

“Oh right, sorry Harri……Here you go.”  John handed him one that twisted to make the sound.

 

He walked slowly up to Cyn  and Paul who were still dancing even though the music had stopped.

 

“Right now the music isn’t even playin you two…” He snickered.

“I have the perfect ones for you .” He handed Paul a noisemaker that you had to use two hands to work. You had to push it in and out to make the loud noise. Paul took it and laughed as he played with it.

 

“I expect the two of you to be doin that later. “ He winked as he hand Cyn one.

 

 

Paul put his arm around Cyn and pulled her to him as they all started counting down the time.

 

 

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!”  They all screamed.

 

 

They each played with their noisemakers and then settled in for singing.

 

“May old acquaintance be forgot…….” Their voices rang throughout the house as 1969 began .

 

 

John hoped this year would be so much better then the Year that had passed as he sang and watched his mates all sing together. When the singing was over everyone kissed and hugged in the New Year.

 

John saw everyone go back to their snogging and figured it was time to make the announcement he had been waiting for.

 

“All right you horny little beasts all snogging and shagging is now adjourned to the bedrooms for the night. No one but no one goes home tonight!!!!”

 

He heard cheers all around as George quickly led Pattie up the stairs.

Paul captured Cyn in a long passionate kiss. He pulled away panting like an animal. He seized her and threw her over his shoulder as he heard her laughter all the way upstairs making John yell after them.

 

“That a boy Macca show her whose boss!!!!!”

 

After they left Ringo and Mo wandered up along with John and Yoko all hoping for one hell of a night.

 

 

Paul kicked the door closed to his room. He slid Cyn up against the wall with her feet still dangling off the floor. He kissed her hard as his tongue searched wildly around her mouth. His hands glided down her sweater and then up inside to feel her bare skin. He pushed his hips hard against her feeling the sensation and keeping her pinned to the wall.  He couldn’t get enough and his body grinded to her as he let her slip down. He pulled her sweater off from underneath bringing her arms in the air and then he tossed it to the floor. He trails hot burning kisses down to her chest, just above her bra. While he kissed her his hands slid around to her back unsnapping it and pulling it off with his mouth still busy. His one hand came up and grabbed her breast as his mouth met it. He ran his tongue around her nipple as she moaned and then teased her until he started slowly sucking on it.

 

Her arms wrapped around his neck and softly rubbed it. She wanted him so bad she could hardly breath. She let her shoes fall off of her and then wrapped her legs around his hips. She felt him grind against her as he let her slide down a bit to the perfect spot. Her hands fumbled at his shirt and frustrated just let them wander over him.

 

 

He knew what she wanted and he wanted it just as bad or maybe even more then she did. He carried her to the bed and laid her down. He stood up and found himself fumbling with the same buttons on his shirt. He grew to anxious to fool with them and tore it open . Buttons popped across the room as he hastily pulled his shirt off and dropped it down along with the tee shirt.  He pushed his shoes off with his feet and came down on her. His bottom half pressed hard against hers and he held his torso up with one elbow. His other hand quickly teased her neglected nipple and his mouth swooped down on hers for more passionate kisses.

 

 

She felt his hand leave her breast and run down to the inner part of her thigh. He stroked her and teased her and she squirmed up to his hand trying to rub herself against it. Her hands danced across his naked back and started pulling at his belt. She finally got underneath him and unbuckled it. She found frustration again when she couldn’t get his pants undone.

 

His breathing became ragged as he sat up and straddled her. He pulled off her skirt and stockings quickly and as professionally as he had done so many other times with so many other women. Just her panties to go he thought as his mind screamed for the pleasure that awaited him. He undid his pants and took them off just as fast leaving him naked to her roving eyes. He then pulled off her panties and pushed her legs open with his knees. Once they were open and his knees were inside there was no way she could close them again. His mind raced with only one thought in it. That animal lust pounded through him and he dropped down to her.

 

 

She felt his tongue between her legs as his fingers opened her lips to it. She felt him stroked her like a painter stroked a canvas with his brush.  She dropped her hands in to his hair a gently held him where she wanted. Her moans grew louder and she felt his hand smack against her mouth stifling the noise as her rapture began and finished.

 

He released her mouth and pushed himself up as he licked his lips. He could taste her , smell her and feel her in even the tiniest parts of his body. He had to have her , had to take her and make her his.  He pushed his hardness into her and started slowly until he just couldn’t take it anymore. His body banged into her as hard and fast as he could. He heard a guttural sound that he soon realized came from him.

 

Cynthia wound her leg around his hips and pulled him in as deep as she could. God, it felt so good to have him fill her. So many nights of anticipation were over. She felt his sweat drip onto her as he pumped furiously . The peak was closing in and she felt as if she were going to fall off a cliff at any minute . She welcomed it when it happened, embraced the thunderous feelings that soared though her. She watched his lovely face as he fell , faster and harder then she did into his release. 

 

Paul embodied the rapture that took hold of him. His body shook uncontrollably and he felt as if he were going to scream louder then he ever had. He closed his mouth over Cynthia’s, squelching both their cries. He felt as if they shared one breath as they both cascaded downward towards the end of their fall.

 

He fell along side of her and pulled her into his arms. He couldn’t move as he lay there catching his breath. He felt her cuddle up to his sweaty body and her arms wrapped around him , waiting for both mind and body to come back. 

 

 

His mouth was as dry like a camel in the dessert heat. Although he had calmed down his heart and head pounded to the drugs that he had fed on all night. He remembered taking more from John just before he took Cyn upstairs. He had to quench his thirst and his body kept twitching , needing to move. He Pushed Cyn lightly to the side and got up to head for the loo.

 

She felt so alive and so wonderful; she never wanted this feeling to leave. She wasn’t tired and didn’t understand why she was so awake, instead of feeling that sleepy satisfied feeling she got after making love as hard as they did. She felt Paul push her gently away and get out of bed to use the loo. She watched the back of his naked body as he walked in and shut the door.

 

Paul turned on the water and leaned down slurping in as much as he could. Then he splashed his sweaty face with it. The coolness felt so good as his body jerked reminding him of all the pills he had ingested. He was so bloody wired he thought as he turned the faucet off and held himself up to look into the mirror. His eyes were bugging out of his head and that bloody pounding wouldn’t stop. He looked deeper at himself and noticed he wasn’t alone in the mirror. Shades of blond, red and brunette hair caught his eye. Then he saw long dark raven hair with unrecognizable faces. All women , different ones popping up around his face and staring back at him from the mirror.

He fell back against the wall and leaned his head back , shutting his eyes , trying to make them go away. It didn’t work the nameless faces where now inside. They took forms with naked arms and legs as they danced around him; alluring an enticing him.

 

“Bloody Hell stop it ! Just fookin stop it!!!!!”

 

Cyn heard him yell something and got up putting on the red shirt he had recently discarded. She pulled it around her as she realized the buttons were now scattered around the floor. Knocking on the door she heard only quiet and waited for a response.

 

“Paul you alright in there?”

 

He opened his eyes at the sound of her voice. He cleared his throat before he spoke.

“Yes, fine…..be out in a sec.”

 

“Oh I thought I heard you yell something.”

 

“I just yelled to you that I would be out in a minute.” He lied.

 

“Right then I’ll be in the bed waiting for you. I’ll keep it warm. “

 

She ran back to the bed and jumped in it. Oh she felt so good as she lay there breathing in his scent on his warm red shirt.

 

Paul came out and started towards the bed. He noticed she turned on one of the small lamps as it dimly lit the room. He saw her lying on the bed with his red shirt opened and her luscious red hair feathering out over the pillow.

 

“ Come here Paulie…..I’m so lonely by myself…..come warm me up.”

 

He shook his head as he heard and saw Jane beckon to him. Christ, was she really here? She looked so beautiful as he climbed next to her. He snuggled up to her for a minute and sighed her name softly before he became restless again. He sat up and she sat up with him.

“What did you say luv?.” He heard Cynthia say.

 

“Nothing…… I mean why don’t you just take that shirt off and I’ll make love to you good and proper like.” He said as he forced a smile.

 

She slid it off and threw it onto the floor as she leaned over to shut the lamp off.

“No luv keep it on ……I want to see you whilst we make love.”

 

She thought it sounded romantic for him to want to look at her while they made love and just put her arms around him , pulling him down with her.

She joined him in a slow lazy rhythm as she watched him stare intently at her.

 

 

“It’s a virtual candy shop of girls……blonds , brunettes, redheads and raven haired women all at our disposal.” John laughed.

 

“I hear they would do anything to fuck us, it’s because were Beatles.” George laughed along with John.

 

“pick one Paulie …… your fantasies will come true. They’ll come willingly, every last beautiful one of em.” John smiled over at him.

 

“You never had trouble taking one or even two at a time Paul, It’s a party and I’m taking me a dark haired beauty.” Ringo announced as he started walking over to the girl he was intent on getting close to for the evening.

Paul watched them buzzing around the room of the party.

 

He looked down at Cynthia as he made love to her, shaking the pictures and voices from his head. This is Cyn, this is Cyn , he repeated to himself  over and over again until he built up such a furry , the slow lazy love making had disappeared.  He felt her tremble underneath him and then followed her with his forced ecstasy.

 

 

Cynthia was spent as she lay up against Paul. Her head resting on his chest , funny his heart was still racing and his breathing hadn’t slowed to normal. Must be those bleedin pills she thought, as her lids grew heavy. She stirred when he moved her to get up.

“Where you goin?” She asked as he dug around his closet for some jeans and put them on.

 

 

He looked over at her as he zipped them up. “Thirsty……I’m just so bloody thirsty.”

 

“You drank the water from the sink and your still thirsty?”

 

“I guess I need something else…..be back ..” He told her as he went to the door and as an after thought turned back to her while still holding on to the doorknob.

 

“You want anything?”

 

“No, I’m fine……I’ll just wait right here for you but you are forgetting something.” She smiled toying with him.

 

“What would that be?” He said as he played along.

 

“A kiss my love…..a sweet beautiful kiss and not a peck either.”

 

“Ok” He laughed.

 

He sat down on the bed and kissed her long with the feelings he had inside for her. He looked up and over to the door getting ready to get off the bed and head towards it.

 

“How could you!!!! How could you have sex with another woman in our bed!!!! I have turned a blind eye to your affairs thinking that you loved me and then to walk in and see you in bed with another woman…..Oh Paul how could you do this to me.” She cried.  Caught in the act wasn’t a comfortable thing and he seen her beautiful face crumble as tears slid down it in the reality of the situation.

 

He jumped off the bed startling Cynthia as he did.  He made it to the door and quietly breathed. “Janie I’m so sorry.”

 

Cynthia watched him with concern . What on earth could be wrong with him? Was he that wired?

“Paul…..What’s wrong?”

 

He turned around suddenly seeing Cyn looking at him. He looked back at the door and Jane was gone.

“Nothing.” He mumbled half to her and half to himself.

 

His heart and head still pounded as the fear of the scene he just watched quickened his breath. He looked bewildered around the room until his eyes fell back on Cyn. He started rummaging through his dresser draws and threw out two sweaters and a belt. He then went to the closet and took out another pair of jeans. He slipped on the sweater and threw the rest at Cyn,

 

“Come on come on ……put these on , I’ll put a hole in the belt so the pants will stay on and you can fold the legs up so there not so long. I can’t stay here I’ve got to go do something.” He rambled on quickly as he fidgeted around.

 

“It’s 4 in the morning, do you know that? “ A shocked look covered her face.

 

“ I know , I know I have to go ……aaaa we a could …a.go to  the park , you always said you liked the park across the way.” He chattered.

 

“Stop it , slow down , all your words are running together. You weren’t this bad before.”

 

“No, I was usen a lot of energy before remember? …..Now come ead and dress up ….I’ll be downstairs waiting ….I’m still thirsty. “ He walked to the door.

 

“Alright then out to the park we’ll go…….seeing the sunrise would be nice.” She smiled at the thought only to realize he was gone. She slowly started getting dressed. My God, I hope he slows down soon and when he does he is going to crash , she thought.

 

 

He started down the hallway. He heard giggles coming from the rooms and the hall seemed to get longer as he walked. He looked to one room and saw a number on it 264 ? What the hell?  He looked ahead of him as a blond girl ran up to him half naked.

 

“Come on Paul your missin all the fun. We’re playin strip poker and I don’t know how he does it but John’s winning he’s barely lost a strip of  his clothes.”  She grabbed at him trying to pull him into the room. The room, the hall and the naked girl……one of their many tours , where John would cheat so the girls lost their clothes first.  He shook his head as he watched the girl run into a room. Bloody hell , he held on to the wall as it  seemed unfocused and teetered between growing larger and shrinking back to his hallway at home.

 

He found the stairs and jumped them two at a time. Reaching the bottom he walked as fast as he could behind the bar and grabbed a bottle.” This has got to stop!!!! I don’t fucking understand this.” He thought as he felt the dry cracking feeling in his mouth. He gulped some scotch, went to cap it and thought better of it as he took some more before putting it away. “ There that’s much better.”

 

“You know I made you a nice meal like you wanted and it’s ruined because you didn’t come home when you said you would. Do you remember saying you’d come home for this wonderful meal I worked so hard on or did you see something else to feast on? Who is she Paul? Really, I take good care of things for you and I think I take good care of you too. Why do you need someone else or should I say several someone else’s.” His head snapped up at the voice. She looked so hurt and he had treated her so unfairly, used her for all she was worth , then discarded her like a pair of old boots.

“You said you’d read my script tonight I suppose that was another one of your lies to keep me quiet.” He saw the tears stain her face and his heart broke for being the bastard he had been.

“Francie I’m terrible sorry …..I …..I …..well , I’ll look at it now.”

 

“To late Paul , I’m not willing to forgive you yet.” He watched as she hid her sobs and ran upstairs.

 

He fell forward against the bar, hoping it would support his weight because at that moment he knew he couldn’t.  “Francie, Christ I haven’t thought of you in awhile. Why now and why so vivid?”  He didn’t understand what was going on. Every nerve in his body burned and he felt his limps jerk from not moving.  He remembered Cynthia and moved off to the kitchen to find a knife for the belt. He had to calm down, he had to get the hell out of there and fast!!!! He dug threw the draw when he heard a noise and turned to see if Cyn was ready.

 

“Is it because I have these bleedin curlers in my hair that your breakin up with me?……We’ve been together so long and I’ve waited loyally whilst you were in Hamburg. Please Paul don’t leave me…..I love you.” The young girl didn’t bother to hide her sobs as she finished the sentence. Paul’s eyes went wide as Dot stood in front of him; looking as she did the night he broke it off with her.

“What the fuck is this a trip? Am I going down memory lane? Every fucking bird I treated badly and every nameless face I shagged; I don’t understand it .” He didn’t know what was happening and it scared him. All he knew was he had to escape this and fast. His mind kept yelling for him to run, hide and do anything to keep this from Cyn. He didn’t want her to think he was as crazy as he was beginning to believe he might be going. 

 

Cynthia walked into the kitchen , a huge sweater hung off her and the jeans were rolled up as much as she could roll them. She held the belt around her waist and the jeans up as she made her way to him. She saw the knife in his hand and held out the part of the belt that needed the hole.

“You sure you want to do this it’s a rather expensive belt?” She looked up at him seeing the funny look he held.

 

“What? Second thoughts?” She inquired.

 

He exhaled the breath that he had been holding and looked blankly at her.

“WOT?” He said a little to loudly.

 

“You are sure strange tonight….I said are you sure you want to ruin this expensive belt by putting that knife in it?”

 

 

“Yeah I can afford another . Let’ s just be done with it and out of here.”

He held the belt and dug the knife into it . His hands shook as the knife went through and sliced his finger.

 

“Damn!!!” He jumped instinctively sucking on his finger.

 

“Well, what’d you expect you’re all shaky. Oh well, it’s there anyway.” She fastened it and the pants held around her waist.

“I need to get my shoes I forgot them up stairs.”

 

“You’re getting your shoes?” He asked as if it was something unheard of doing.

 

“Yes, I might be going out at 4am but I do need my shoes. Be back in a sec.” She flashed him an unsure look as she started to go get them.

 

He paced the floor , his nerves on edge. “blasted pills, stupid git you shouldn’t of taken them you nit!”  His mind raced as it turned the pages of each scene that he had witnessed. Could it be guilt at how he treated all those many girls he had been with? Many whose names he didn’t even know? They were a game, something to stop the boredom and during the tours they even had competitions on who could score the most in a night, or in the days they were in a town. Christ , John even kept a score card at one time!

 

 Guilt on how he treated his lovely Janie, so sweet and pure when he first found her. She surely wasn’t pure after she had left him ; he had seen to that one. Dot, also sweet and naive; he had once thought he loved her until his ego started getting in the way. His Ego, so strong that he had felt invisible at so many things he did and that included the whoring around.

 

Suddenly every girl fell at his feet and he had to take advantage of that, didn’t he?

He felt like a king and every place he went the women would come to him. He just couldn’t resist it. He was arrogant and he knew it. Tonight it came out with Cynthia; trying to pull her the way he had with all the others. That was only his way of hiding his fear, reverting back to his old cocky ways fueled by the pills, smoke and drink.

 

 In the end all he wanted was to settle down. Sandy, was the payback, she gave him back what he had done to so many women including her. He had kept her around until he used her up and bedded her before throwing her out the next day. That was nerve he thought. Now, he was suffering the way he should for all his transgressions.  Maybe this was his punishment, to be so close to having what he always wanted in Cynthia and to be torn by the hell that Sandy made sure he went through. He had been feeling better lately but still he felt like he had more to confess and his priest had been the good doctor. No, Hail Mary’s for him , just a few pills and a lie in on the couch. He needed to be punished and maybe that’s what Sandy had started to do and even with her gone the punishment would keep bouncing back, haunting him forever.  It scared him as the pictures that ran around in his head came to life.

 

 

“Paul please ? I’ll do anything to be with you…. anything you want, just to be with you.” Said the large breasted brunette.

 

He turned away and saw a dark skinned beauty with raven hair smile at him.

“Do you want some company in your lonely room tonight?”

 

Turning again he saw a thin blond twiggy type girl shyly smiling at him.

“I feel so ashamed but I am a virgin and I really would be honored if you would be the first.”

 

 

He looked away discussed with himself. How many virgins did he deflower? They only wanted him to be the one to do it. When he agreed, they would gush with how honored they felt to have him say yes to their inexperience.

All he wanted was another notch on his belt and to brag about it to his mates.  Well, at least he would force himself to be gentle and loving; making their first time special and he found he didn’t have to force himself too much. The next morning he wouldn’t even remember their names. He would make them leave as quickly as possible saying he would call them if he could, knowing full well that he wouldn’t. How sad he thought for their first time to be with such a cad as himself.

 

He was startled back to reality when Cynthia came in with their coats.

 

“Here put this on . It’s cold and looks like rain.”

 

He nodded and put it on. He took her hand and pulled her to the front door with him.

 

“Why are you pulling me?” She cried.

 

“Sorry I just want to go is all. :”  He quickly unlocked the door and was out on the front lawn in a flash.

 

The night air was cold and a drizzle started to fall.  The grass glistened with each drop that splashed, making it slick as the drops broke across it under their feet.

Paul put the key in the lock, hitting the button for the gate to open. Good the gatebirds weren’t around yet he thought.  He again grabbed Cynthia’s hand and started a sprint towards the park.

 

Cynthia ran along with him , wondering why they just couldn’t walk. Try as she might he wouldn’t slow down and she eventually felt like Martha being pulled on her leash.

 

He ran faster tugging at her to keep up. His nightmare sprang back to life as he heard them chasing him, calling to him. He felt like it was the old days, when they had to run from the girls so they wouldn’t be crushed.  He did so as fast as he could, they weren’t going to get him; he had to hide, had to escape. His lungs burned and his heart pounded but he kept going pulling Cyn along with him. He felt her slag behind only keeping up because of his grip on her.

 

She slid across the grass almost falling several times.

“STOP!!!!  THIS IS CRAZY!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????” She wheezed, finally falling to the ground and pulling him down with her.  Her body fell so hard that she bounced against the ground and slid across the grass to a stop. She lay there fighting for air to reach her lungs and her body to stop hurting.

 

The sky finally let loose with a vengeance. They lay there looking like they just fell into a pool. Paul got up, his eyes blurred form the heavy down pour and the streams that ran down his face. He helped her up and took most of her weight against him as he brought her to a building. The building was small and the door locked but there was an over hang to protect them. He leaned up against it panting, shaking his hand and bobbing slightly up and down from his knees.

 

She shivered from the cold wetness that covered her. The bruises that swelled up could be felt all over as she tried to figure out what was going on. She watched him, moving around, not able to stay still.  It was as if she had lived this before and then she knew she had. No, this wasn’t going to happen to her again. She wasn’t going along for the ride this time.

 

“I’m going back to the house. I would like you to come back with me before you catch your death. When we’ve warmed up I would like you to tell me what the hell is going on in that head of yours.” She wiped the wet strands of hair that were pasted to her face away. He didn’t seem to notice, he was to busy watching something else. She started back to the house; to get out of these wet clothes, get something warm and the climb in to a nice warm bed.

 

He noticed her trudging through the wall of water falling in front of him. Slowly, he turned to follow her back to the house, to get warm, dry and maybe tell her what he was seeing.