CHAPTER 53

 

 

The week went by rapidly with the emotions of last summer engulfing them.

It had been as if they hadn’t left except for the cold.  The cold was fine by them as they would sit next to the fire or make love by it. Nothing of the outside world was brought up as they renewed their commitment to each other.  The Edward’s were thrilled by their visits and the affection the lovebirds seemed to show without shame in front of them.

 

Cynthia put the dishes up, dried her hands and made her way to the living room. The constant sound of the guitar streaming throughout the house brought comfort to her, He had been playing a lot this week , getting new ideas for songs and sharing them with her.

 She was just so happy finally, to have Paul back along with their relationship. Coming up to the farm had been a brilliant idea, she thought repeatedly over the week. He seemed so relaxed and so much like himself that she didn’t want to spoil it by bringing up the subject of the Beatles or her Job. They had one more day left, then back to the world. She figured tonight would be as good a time as any to bring things up.

 

 

She stood there not wanting to disturb him as she listened to a song he had been working on for the past few days. She slowly walked over, leaning on the back of the couch , she watched him play. He sat on the floor, back against the front of the couch. When he was done she clapped making him jump.

 

“Blimey , You startled me. How long you been standing there?”

 

“Long enough to hear that beautiful song of yours.” She said as she walked around stopping in front of him.

‘What is it?” she asked.

 

“It came to me the day after we took that bleedin ride, exploring and not knowing where we were going. I hate not knowing where I am going. Slaggin off is fine, but getting lost usually makes me unbalanced.  I have to tell you, if you hadn’t forced the issue I never would have just drove around like that. Drive to nowhere, finding little things and doing things I never would have done. I guess that’s the part of me that needs to be in control. I’ll tell you what though I rather fancied it. Since then this song has been in my head.”

 

She smiled down at him. Yes, that trip had been so nice after she had convinced him to let go and let loose. It had taken her awhile but he finally did and when he did they had a blast. For hours they rode around exploring a small town , stopping to relax on a beautiful grassy hill, not knowing where they were heading. They had finally found their way back as it became dark out and he had been ecstatic over the whole venture.

 

“So it’s about us and our trip……I fancy that one. I want to hear it when it’s all done.”

 

He smiled at her , put his guitar down and extended his hand to her.

“Come ere me love.”

 

She bent down to the floor , sitting between his legs she snuggled up to him sideways, curling her legs. She felt his warm arms surround her in a hug type hold and she felt…..love……it poured out of him and onto her; body and mind drenched in it.

 

“Your mum would never approve of that language you just used.” She teased.

 

“No, she wouldn’t “

Was all he said in a flat tone agreeing.

 

“Paul you speak very little of her. I never really even remember you speaking about her in the past. Just the dreams and the song you wrote for her. Why is that?”

She looked up at him from his chest, awaiting an answer. His face turned to a stoic expression , one she hadn’t seen the whole time they had been there.

 

 

His mum. She was so wonderful yet he could hardly ever bring himself to talk about her. He hadn’t visited her grave since the funeral and like John, had tried so hard to bury her further with song. His eyes moved to meet Cyn’s. He didn’t want to talk about her now or ever. He saved that for his Da or Mike and a few times with John. He saw the expectant look on Cyn’s face and in her eyes. He felt that familiar lump choke in his throat as he wondered if he should answer this question. He gave a heavy sigh, still trying hard to mask the hurt that lay deep inside.

 

She saw he held that stoic look, but now it was a bit shaky and she wondered if she should have asked. She felt the deep sigh he gave, a sigh that came from the very depth of him, a sigh of pain perhaps? She wondered now even more about this and decided to push the subject.

 

“Paul? Why don’t you speak of her? Do you speak about her to anyone?” She mused.

 

He mulled the questions around in his brain. If he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her then he’d have to answer those questions she had posed to him. He started out slowly, the lump in his throat making it hard to speak. The memories of her in her cotton nurse’s suit, in the kitchen making a favorite meal, comforting gestures; they all burned in his mind at the same time.

 

“I um…..it’s hard to speak of her…….I lost her at a time when I needed her so. Mike was so close to her, he was shattered by it all. I had to be strong for him, for my father who cried when he thought we were asleep. We were sent to our aunties and to camp. They tried to give us life as usual. It wasn’t though, cause she was no longer part of it. “

His face was no longer stoic and he held back the tears he felt as he went on.

 

“That’s when I threw myself in to the guitar that my Da bought for me. I always felt so guilty for saying the first thing that jumped out at me when Da told us. Stupid git me, I said what will we do with out her pay? Bloody sensitive of me that was, I could have kicked myself in the arse after it left me mouth. I missed her, though no one realized how much. I just tried to get on with it and help Mike to do the same. I shivered violently at her funeral. I don’t know whether it was from the cold or because I watched her enter the ground. When I got home I didn’t let anyone know. I went to the loo and got sick.  Then , put on a brave face for everyone. I pushed it down; I didn’t want to feel it. I just played me guitar. “

 

He stopped for a minute. He took in a ragged breath and tightened his grip on her.

 

“I speak to Mike about it sometimes and Da if need be. Never visited her grave after the funeral. Mike and Da tried to get me to go but I put them off stating I had something I had to do for school or some rubbish like that.”

 

He stopped again watching the memories that flowed his mind. Caught up in the daze of memories, a picture of him and John came rolling into his mind.

 

“I was there for John when he lost Julia. We both shared that bond. I ‘d like to think I helped him. We then immersed ourselves with the guitar, song writing and singing. It was our only escape you see. “

 

She watched his expressions change as he spoke. She could hear the sadness in his voice. Her heart went out to him as he spoke and she wondered if he ever spoke of it to John again. John certainly didn’t speak much about Julia to her, maybe in the beginning but never when The Beatles came to be. Curiously she gazed up at him.

 

“Did you and John ever speak about your mum and Julia again?”

 

He nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah a few times. One night on tour we had been drinking. I looked for him after he had gone missing and found him in an empty room. Bottle of scotch in his hand , he sat on the floor propped against the bed. I sat down next to him and started sharing the bottle with him. He was obviously upset about something.”

 

He could see it so clearly, hear every crack in their voices and he could even smell the stink of the scotch they shared.

 

****************************************

John sat propped against the bed as he walked into the room. He didn’t see him at first but heard the sound of the liquid sliding back down into the bottle and the sound of it separating from John’s lips.  He walked slowly around the other side of the bed to see a distraught John Lennon on the floor, drowning his sorrows in drink. He collapsed by his side and took the bottle that was offered him. With out a word they drank for a few minutes. He handed the bottle back to John and watched his pained face as he tried desperately to drown out what ever was bothering him.

 

“You look a bit gutted. What’s wrong?” Paul slowly ventured. He knew in the mood John was in and with drink he could turn quickly against him. He didn’t want that, so he tried to ask with a caring look. He was surprised when John just answered him straight out.

 

“It’s today y know. July 15th, 1958.” He sat there very still and then started to guzzle his scotch.

 

Paul immediately knew what that date John rattled off meant. Six years to the day, John’s beloved mum had passed tragically. He knew now what the problem was. It sent a shiver through out him and brought back the emptiness that came from his own mum’s death.

 

“Christ John it is. “ Was all a shocked Paul could get out. Caught up in the world of Beatlemania he had forgotten what day it was. He usually remembered, they both did. John would remember the date of Paul’s mum and Paul would remember the date of John’s. When those dates came around one would be there for the other, treating the other carefully, knowing the pain that was hidden deep down. Paul felt angry with himself for being so careless as to forgetting the date at hand.

 

“Six years aint it?” Paul asked looking straight ahead and drinking from the bottle that was put in his hand.

 

“Yup, six fookin bleedin years TODAY!” John hissed, then grabbed the mind erasing alcohol back from Paul.

 

“I’m sorry I forgot. This whole thing, this Beatlemania as they call it just got me and I plum forgot. I’m sorry mate.” Paul put a hand gently on John’s shoulder. John didn’t shrug it off the way Paul had thought he would. Instead he welcomed it and let his hand stay resting on his shoulder. The room was dimly lit by only one small bedside lamp. Paul knew that John felt almost as dark as the room did.

 

“Doesn’t seem right. She would have loved this. Would have loved that I made it with me music and all. She would have laughed that musical laugh she had when she was happy. I would have brought her here to see the world that she so wanted to see.” He trailed off and continued to drink. The alcohol didn’t erase the memories but made them clearer. The alcoholic haze blended into the past, making it hard for Lennon not to remember. Lost in his memories and pain, both dancing around in his head and body. He slumped a bit, from the pain as much as the booze.

 

Paul felt the scotch wash over him. He sat there with one knee drawn up to him.

“You got a fag?” He asked.

 

John handed him the pack and a lighter as Paul lit one, blowing the smoke into the air. They sat quietly for a few minutes as he watched the smoke curl and rise to the ceiling before dissipating into the air.

 

“You remember your mum? Can you still picture her, hear her and remember how she was?” Lennon asked quietly. They had always had this similar bond with one another. That had been more glue to bond them together as was the music they so loved.

 

Paul sat reaching into a carefully filed memory folder, a folder that he kept locked away somewhere in the corner of his mind. He didn’t want to open it. The alcohol had been lubricating his mind and with John’s behavior along with his questions it was inevitable that it would.

 

“I remember……” The lump that always appeared when he thought about her reappeared. The emotions started from the pit of his stomach and rose to his brain. Funny, he thought, it should start from the brain and move down or maybe it had and he just hadn’t noticed. All he knew was the sick feeling and an over abundance of sadness.

 

“ She was always there for us. Even with work, she made sure we had her full attention. She always knew when sumethin was up. She’d have us sussed, but she always made things better. She always made sure we went places to have fun as well as learn about things. Always tried to make us do our best, speak the Queen’s English , she hated any souse that came from our mouths. She told us in order to make something of ones self you must speak correctly, carry yourself well and all ways push yourself to do your best. She only wanted us to make sumethin of ourselves. She wanted me to be an English teacher. I wonder if she was alive if I ever would have been a Beatle. I wonder if she would have been proud the way I know Julia would have been. Do you think she would have been proud of me being a Beatle?” For the first time he turned to John, the question written all over his face.

 

“She would have been chuffed Paulie. She would have seen your creativity, the fantastic music and realized the artist you are and how you make so many people happy. Never worry on that one. “ John answered. It was now his turn to put a comforting hand on his mate’s shoulder. He gave it a squeeze of reassurance before dropping it back to his side.

 

“Ya think? Cause after all these years I just don’t know anymore. Me Da says she would have, but me I’m not so sure.” Paul admitted to his friend.

 

John handed the almost empty bottle back to Paul. His voice had taken on a heavy accent as it usually did when he drank. Certain words slurred together but Paul understood just what he was saying.

 

“I do think so . I know Julia would have gone on about us , about our music and the attention. She would have clipped every story she could from the papers. She would have gone around singing our songs and telling anyone who’d listen that was her son. Mimi , she’s another story in herself. I think she’s just starting to realize it all.” John said thoughtfully.

 

He sighed as he finished. He could picture her joyously singing their songs, bragging to anyone about her eldest child. She had always encouraged his music and knew he’d do something with it some day.

 

They stayed quiet again for a while, finishing the bottle, each remembering the women who had given them life and then been taken from them to soon.

John reached under the bed and brought forth a smaller bottle. He twisted the cap off and started in on it. It was quiet in the room, only the two of them there. He felt the burning sensation of tears as they fell from his face. Paul felt the same as he spied his partner wiping them away. John knelt on his knees and crawled to the nightstand. He turned the small lamp off, feeling the comfort and safety in the dark room. He sat back down so close to Paul their arms touched.

 

Suddenly out of nowhere Paul heard John’s voice crack in a pathetic cry.

“Why Paulie? Why were they taken from us?”

 

Paul’s own voice cracked as he answered and the tears flowed down his face.

 

“I don’t know Johnny, I just don’t know.”

 

“Doesn’t seem half fair…….just not right…….her fookin dying……that bloody copper getting off. I’d have killed him meself I would have. “ The anger was there in his voice and then it changed to a sound that made Paul’s heart break. The whine and hiccupped sobs came louder after he uttered one more smaller sentence.

“Just not fair.”

 

He hit his hand hard against the floor and the sobs came louder. They sounded like a wounded animal as his body started shaking. Paul’s own sobs joined his friends. They reached out to one another at the same time.  Pulling each other close and holding each other tight, for the comfort they each needed so badly.  They stayed like that for what seemed to be hours. When they both calmed down they continued to lie against each other, arm in arm, the free one passing the bottle until they finally passed out from drink.

 

The next morning they found themselves laying against each other with their arms protectively wrapped around the others body. They agreed it was never to be mentioned to anyone else as they got up in search for something to help the hangover they had.

***********************************************

 

The whole time Paul told her the story his face gave a far away stare. She had noticed the tears that slowly streamed down his face at the memories he shared. She hugged him to her as he finished the story. She noticed that as he finished he tried hard to pull himself together.

 

“That’s how that famous night went. People talk about it but they don’t know. It was just John and me, only we know what happened. There were a few other times but that one was the hardest and the longest for both of us.  Sorry luv, I seem to be a bit emotional. Let me up I need to wash me face.”

 

She unwrapped herself from him and pulled herself onto the couch. She watched as he got up and walked over to the bathroom.

 

 

He splashed some cold water on his face washing away the tearstains. He looked long and hard at his reflection in the mirror, trying to calm him self from the emotional story he had just relived and told to Cynthia.

 

“Christ I look blood awful……well at least I told her, another part of the onion skin gone. It’s over and done with now………Ok McCartney get your self together , chin up and get on with it.” He finished his pep talk, drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. There, he thought, I feel better as he walked out and back to her.

 

He sat down next to her and noticed the emotion on her face. He also noticed her stare as he sat down.

 

“What’s this now? Do you think I’m going to go backwards now that I shared those painful memories with you?” He inquired.

 

“I guess I wondered if I should have opened that old wound up so soon after all you’ve been through.” She said honestly to him.

 

“Come now, I told you I am a lot better now. I didn’t want to open up to you but I felt I should. You’re important to me and I love you so I shouldn’t hold things back from you. I know you’ll keep it. I’m glad I did although I felt rather gutted afterwards. I’m better now.” He brought his lips to hers and sealed his love in a kiss.

 

She knew he loved her and for him to open up a part of him that was hard to share showed her a lot. It showed her he was trying, that he was telling her in his own way that he needed no one but her. The thought overwhelmed her and made her heart swell with even more love for him then she had thought possible.

 

“I am feeling a bit randy. Hows about some lovin?” He smiled wickedly at her.

 

She welcomed the change. She’d didn’t want to bring up anything else emotional tonight, they had all day tomorrow to talk about her job , his and the real world that waited for them. Tonight, however, passionate love sounded good about now. She kissed him back in a way that told him yes. When their lips separated, his held a smile.

 

He stood up and then picked her up off the couch.

“There is no turning back now you see. “

 

He laughed as he held her tight in his arms, letting her know she was going where he wanted her.  He carried her up the stairs and placed her gently down on the bed, where they spent half the night making love.

 

 

 

Paul dug into the soup she had put on the table for lunch. He dipped his bread in it as he ate. Cyn finished up hers and had given him seconds , trying to finish it up before they left tomorrow. She got up and washed everything in the sink, they’d have to close the place up tomorrow morning before they left for the airstrip in the afternoon. She sat down and decided to broach the subject she had been putting off all week.

 

“Paul?”

 

“mmm?” He answered in between mouthfuls.

 

“ I spoke to Louis the day before we left to get an idea of what I was going to do……you know the plan, how I would train and all.” She lit a cigarette.

 

“Louis your boss?”

 

“Yes, He said he’d be training me personally. I figured it’s because he’s friends with Yoko and had met John. He told me the first week would be in the office showing me how things go and then we would start traveling. He said they have smaller offices in some of the other countries and asked if my passport was still good. Thank goodness it is. Anyway, he told me we’d be traveling a lot over the next few months so as I could get a handle on things. “ She waited for his reaction before she went on.

 

He wiped his mouth, got up and rinsed out the dish, putting everything away as he spoke.

“Well, this traveling , how long and how often?”

 

“I’m really excited. We leave a week after I start. First we go to Spain for a week and then I’ll be home for a few days. After that we go to France for a few days and then back to London for a few. It’s back and forth, so I won’t be gone like Jane was for months at a time and we will get to see each other in between. I think after that he said Holland. I’m not sure where to after that.”  She sat nervously smoking her cigarette.

 

Paul sat down and lit one up too. He wasn’t crazy about this traveling or the fact that it would be with her boss; a man. He knew it was important to her as much as his music was to him and so he’d just have to endure it.

 

“I guess you have to do what you need to in order to get your career up and running. I will just have to accept it is all. We’ll see each other when we can.” He hoped that sounded encouraging although he didn’t feel that way.

 

“You’ll like traveling and seeing the different countries they are quite nice, most anyway. You’ll call me?”  He added.

 

“Right, of course I will call you I have all your numbers, home, studio and the office. Besides you’ll be working anyway too. What are your plans?” She asked wanting to get off the subject and also find out what he’d be doing.

 

“Me? I’m going in the office to take the burden off of Neil and Alistair; they’ve been covering for me. Peter Ham called me before we left asking when I was coming back to help them with their next single and album. I told him after my holiday, so I will be with them and also the Beatles have that documentary to do and an album as well. I’ll be very busy so don’t you worry none. You just enjoy that job and I know they will love your work.” He said convincingly.

 

“Great a new album that will be marvelous. Documentary? That one you were supposed to have done this past month?”

 

“Yeah , it got held off because of me so I want to do it straight away, no more hold ups. It was after all my idea so I have to make some calls to Michael and tell him we can start. I did talk to him already but he told me to call when I came back from holiday.”

He sat there thoughtfully. He had wanted to ask her to move in with him all week but just never had the courage. Better late then never he thought as he began to talk again.

 

“A Cyn, last summer we spoke about you and Jules moving in with me at Cavendish. Yoko and John moved out this past week and I was wondering if you’d like to go ahead and move in……I mean I know your mum is watching Jules and all but I could take care of him. I could bring him to her house and when I can take him with me. I will be working very late some days but the ones that I’m not, well I’d love to spend time with him . Then when you came back you’d be with me and we could see each other more often. What’d a say?” There he had gotten it out. He sat fidgeting waiting for an answer.

 

 

She sat there stunned by his words. She took a breath, taking it all in and noticed his steady stare. Uncomfortable, she adjusted her self in the chair and lit another cigarette.

 

“Paul I know we talked of this last summer. I don’t think right now is the right time for us to move in together. I want to get my career off the group, not set up house. We are just sorting things out between us. I need to think of Julian and my career right now. I seem to always think of everyone but me and you said that yourself last summer.  Let’s just see how things go and when I am more settled in my job and with us then we’ll talk about it. That of course doesn’t mean you can’t go take Julian out while I’m gone. After all you did that when John and I were together. “ She moved her head tilting it , trying to see his face and gave him a warm and reassuring smile. “Ok?”

 

 

He didn’t’ like it but what did he expect after all that had happened. Her new independence suited her and he was glad. He didn’t know if he liked this particular job that Yoko had gotten for her but she fancied it and he wanted her happy. He was disappointed by her answer. They had spent a wonderful week together but he knew she was right. He tightened his lips in a sideways smile and nodded.

 

 “Your right of course and I will spend time with Julian. I hold you to the talk after you settle in to your work. “

 

He went over to her and pulled her head to his stomach. He stroked her hair, kissing the top of her head.

“Sorry luv it is to soon.”

 

With that he left to go outside. She watched from the window as he entered the barn. He needed some space, he didn’t like her answer and he wasn’t used to people saying no that often to him, especially when it meant a lot to him.  He just needed time to digest it she thought.

 

He went into the barn. He climbed up on the gate and reached over to pet the horse. He had some sugar cubes in his pocket and gave it to the nose that snuggled against his hand.

He didn’t like her answer even if he knew she was right. The fact that she’d be gone so much and the house would be empty bothered him. Maybe he did need this time to get back into his style of life. To make sure that they’d work out and not make another mistake as he had with so many. The only thing was he knew what he felt for her was so very different then what he had felt for anyone else.

 

 

 

The next day they left the happiness that the farm brought behind them. They both hoped that entering the real world wouldn’t tear them apart. The bond between them had strengthened over the past week , making them hopeful that they could work it out.

 

Paul had dropped her off at her mother’s and then was driven home. The driver placed his luggage in the house and Paul fished around for a tip to give him. After the driver left he put his things in his room. The house was so empty. He hadn’t been in it alone and sober in a long time. He wandered aimlessly around, missing Cyn, John, Yoko and his brother. He knew he had to get used to it and decided to finish working on the songs for the new album. He decided to do the things he used to do before everything happened. First, thing before the songs , was to go get Martha. He needed her company and comfort. He felt almost like a child as he thought about getting her. He’d bring her home and then start on the songs. He grabbed his coat and keys and left to bring his companion home where she belonged.

 

CHAPTER 54

 

The next day Paul took Martha down to the office, like he often would before.  He opened the door to see Lizzie hard at work at her desk. She looked up when she heard Martha scamper up to her. She automatically reached in her bottom draw for the dog bones she always kept for her. She handed it to Martha who squatted down to the floor eating every last crumb.

 

“Paul and Martha so nice to finally see the both of you again. You are well I take it?” Lizzie asked smiling.

 

“Yes, quite thank you and so is my girl here.” He smiled affectionately down at the dog and then back up to the secretary.

 

“Well, back to work are you?”

 

“Yes, I am ready to take the burden off of everyone and get back to doing what I do best.” He smiled charmingly at her.

 

She was so glad to see him back and well. She had missed both Martha and had missed Paul’s smiles. After hearing how bad he was, none of them knew when he would be back. She had always felt a tinge of guilt at not realizing what Sandy was up to. She knew the girl was a bit off but not that bad. She decided not to speak of it and let him start fresh.

 

“Well shall you be wanting your mail?”

 

“Yes, that would be a good start. Is Neil, Al or Derrick in?” He asked as he took the pile of mail from her hands.

 

“Yes, I suspect you’d want to see Neil first he’s the one who has been directly working with your group and the one handling the documentary along with Derrick.” She smiled.

The phone rang and she answered it. Paul waved and started up the stair, leaving Martha as he always did with Liz. He looked around the place, as he did he noticed strange people sitting around on the floor and in chairs eating or doing something as if they lived there. He found the door to Neil’s office and gave it a knock. He heard a voice yell an invite; he opened the door and closed it. Once inside he saw Neil look up from his desk as he hung up the phone. A huge smile that matched Paul’s spread across Neil’s face. He waved him to a chair.

 

“Paul , well you’ve come back to the fold have ya?”

 

“Figured you’ve covered me arse long enough.”

 

“Smashing, I’ve tired of your chores as well as my own. It gets a bit bothersome when you can’t even keep up with your own let alone having more waiting in the wings.” Neil smiled affectionately at his friend.

“So you’re fit for duty are you? Good, it not bad enough the work; but have you taken notice? The place has become a bleedin hotel for anyone who has ideas and needs help. Christ you’d think we were the bloody welfare service or something like it.” Neil had gotten up and poured Paul and himself a drink. He handed one to Paul and tapped their glasses together to toast his arrival.

 

“Cheers.”

 

“Cheers.”

 

They said as Neil drained his glass and put in down on the desk. He flipped through some founders and drew some out.

 

“Here I think all these are yours. Of course there’s more but I’ll have that delivered to your office. Blimey, you need your secretary back now don’t you. “ He picked up the phone to buzz Liz.

 

“Liz my luv is there a free secretary we could give Mr. McCartney?”

 

Paul sat there stunned at how fast things were moving. Had he been out of the loop that long? He remembered things moving fast, with everything they had to do and he would just have to get back into it. He watched Neil hang up the phone.

 

“Right, I set you up with a good secretary. Her name is Susan and she will have her things moved upstairs with in the hour. Is that satisfactory?” He looked at his friend.

 

“A yeah sure……I guess I have to get back in to the pace around here. That’s fine Neil. I don’t even know how much I’ll get done today. I need to look over what I have and start planning ……” He stood up, files over flowing in his arms and tried to shake hands unsuccessfully.

“Sorry can’t hold the lot of this and shake. “ He blushed. “ A I um need to talk to someone about booking studio time for Bad finger. Who is in charge of that one now?”

 

“Well, Derrick or Al can help you with that but still the same to booking a studio so you know what to do but they can tell you what’s changed around here, besides the bums that are living in the hallways.”

 

“What being done about that ?” Paul asked with concern. He didn’t want to see them homeless but they certainly couldn’t stay there.

 

“Looking in to it, I told Al to take care of it.” Neil opened the door for Paul.

“Glad to have you back mate.” He nodded and with that shut the door.

 

Paul whistled at the stairs for Martha. She came bouncing up them and together they went to clean up his office.

 

 

He sat there for hours it seemed going over file after file to catch him up on what was going on.  A knock came at the door as he looked at his watch and realized the reason his stomach was growling. The door opened and a dark haired girl stepped in cautiously. She was in her early twenties, dark eyes, short and petite. He motioned her to come in while closing the latest file he had been reading.

 

She walked slowly to his desk where she stood silently trying to reach for the courage to talk to her idol.

 

Paul knew that look all to well. She was a fan and a fan of his. He couldn’t believe they sent him up a girl who was so star struck. He certainly didn’t need this right now.

He stood up and extended his hand to shake hers. He felt her sweaty palm graze his hand in a light handshake.

 

“I guess I don’t have to introduce myself.” He smiled.

 

“Oh no I know exactly who you are ….:” She rattled off nervously.

 

“Good well I suppose we better get something out of the way here. I take it you’re a fan?”

 

“Oh yes…..I love your music.” She gushed.

 

“Right” his eyebrow rose as he tried to figure out what to do with her.

 

“Susan is that right?”

 

“Yes” She answered a bit to gleefully for his taste.

 

“Well then, I have to tell you I dress just like you in the morning. One foot in each pant leg, I eat and bath as you do and even go to the loo as you do. So, please, If you’re going to be my secretary , don’t be in awe of me. That really won’t work here.” Paul watched her face carefully. He needed a secretary not an Apple scruff.

 

“Oh yes of course.” She answered slightly embarrassed.

 

He felt bad for her and motioned for her to sit as he did the same.

 

“Right then Susan, I need someone who is willing to work hard, sometimes long hours and someone who will treat me like a human being and not an…….I don’t know …..I can’t think of a better word but an Idol…….I’m not ya know, just regular like I told you. Is that agreeable to you?” He sat waiting for her answer, one hand lazily scratching Martha’s ear , with no protest from her.

 

The girl glanced at the dog and for a minute wished she was Martha. How stupid she thought as her attention returned to Paul.

“Yes sir….I’ll do my best.”

 

Paul chuckled at her uneasiness.

“First off, my dad is sir. Me I’m just Paul. Second, please breathe and relax, we can’t get anything done if you don’t.”

 

She shook her head in agreement.

“I’m terribly sorry. Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

 

“No darlin you didn’t but I make you uncomfortable and if you are going to work for me we can’t have it. Now, how’s your typing ?”

 

“60 words per minute sir ….um  I mean Paul.”

 

He could see how hard she was trying to act as normal as she could. He smiled inwardly and nodded at her answer.

“Good, I need you to type up a few things for me. You all set up at your desk then?”

 

“Yes, I’m set to type what ever it is you need me to do .”

 

Eager, I like that he thought.

“Then you can take dictation?”

 

“Yes, very well, I was at the head of my class.” She stated proudly.

 

“Also good. Then run out and get your pad. I need to dictate some letters I need typed up at once. Oh and could you be a luv and fetch me a cuppa and some biscuits I’m starved.”

 

She quickly got up and nodded as she backed out the door.

 

“Ta” He said holding back the laughter until she had closed the door.

 

He picked up the phone and rang over to Neil.

 

“Neil, a bloody fan for a secretary are you are you off your trolly?”

 

“Oh Susan ? She’s harmless; thought I would give her a thrill. She is the best typist in the pool. Come ead mate you love it , she’ll serve you well, I can assure of that.”

 

Paul heard the hint of laughter in his voice. What did he mean by that one but he decided to drop it and get back to work.

 

“Right well I hope she gets over her nerves quickly. Ring you later mate.”

Paul hung up the phone and went back to work.

 

 

The week was long and productive. He had started his studio time with Badfinger and Susan was calming down and working out fine. He would sometimes see her steal a glance at him and laugh to himself. He had also set up the documentary to start on Monday. He talked to the others who were anxious to get this over with. None of them wanted to do a concert or have their sessions on film. They did agree, since they had a contract for one more film, so they pushed on.

 

It would be in a big studio with cameras everywhere. Paul had made sure they would put cameras up on cranes so that the cameras could move to each from up high as well as down from the floor.

 

During the week he talked to Cyn on the phone both to busy to see each other. She told him Louis had shown her so much and most lunch and dinners were spent with her boss. Paul wasn’t to crazy about this but didn’t say much, hoping it was just because she was having a crash course on everything before they left on Sunday to Spain. He missed her so much and made sure flowers were sent to her everyday at work. He figured it would perk her up and show this Louis that she was taken.

 

He had made sure to clear his calendar for Saturday so they could finally spent some time together before she left the next day for a week. He made sure everything was done and had made reservations at a nice restaurant ready for a romantic evening with Cynthia.

He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around him as he shaved and got ready. The phone rang and he ran to get it as the towel slipped off of his frame. He picked it up on the fourth ring.

 

“Hullo?”

 

“Paul , hi love how are you?”

 

A smile spread across his face as he heard Cyn on the other end.

“Great! I am so ready to see you and I’m very randy for later.”

 

The phone was silent for a minute before Cyn started to talk again.

“Listen honey, I can’t see you tonight. I am so sorry but Louis needs me to go over some things for tomorrow, so we’ll probably eat while we work. You understand don’t you? …..oh please say you do. I really need to be on top of things when we get to Spain and we are leaving early in the morning. I promise I will make it up to you when I get back.”

She pleaded for his understanding. She didn’t want to disappoint him or her boss and she couldn’t afford to mess up as Louis had reminded her.

 

Paul froze, his smile disappearing as he listened. He picked up the towel and covered himself as he felt a chill go through him. His mind went back to all the calls Jane would give him saying the same thing to him He hated this; but he would let it go since it was only the start of her second week. He swore he’d give it a little while before his true feelings would get the best of him.

“Yes, sure you run along and get in top form. Tidy things up for your trip, we can do this when you come back. I’ll find something to do tonight.”

 

“Oh really? Thank you so much for understanding.  I think this will slow down once I know what I’m doing. I love you but I have to go Louis is waiting in the limo.”

 

“Limo? I thought you were working while you ate?” He felt the anger rise and tried desperately to keep it down.

 

“Well yes we will work from the restaurant and maybe back at the office. Thank you sweetie for understanding. I have to run now.”

 

“Sure.” He said flatly with an under tone of disappointment in his voice before he realized she had hung up.

 

“Bloody Fantastic!!!!” He slammed the phone back in the receiver.

What was this Louis up to? Was he on the level he wondered? He figured he’d wait it out. What to do tonight he wondered. He dressed and got ready to go out. It had been a while since he went to his old haunts. The Bag O’ Nails sounded good.

 

The place was dimly lit and smoke filled the room along with the pungent smell of alcohol. The music blasted as he walked in. He realized he hadn’t eaten as his stomach growled. Fine , he thought after a few drinks he wouldn’t even remember being hungry. He walked around spotting some of his old mates and fighting off the women who were trying to attach themselves to him.  The band was good, Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames as he sat down with a mate of his and slowly proceeded to have a few drinks and enjoy the sound.

 

The night wore on and he noticed Eric Burdon and his band the animals sitting with a pretty blonde women. It was getting late and his friends were moving on to another club.

He got up and said hello to Eric and the band, He looked at the pretty blonde sitting there with a camera and it puzzled him thinking he remembered her.

 

“Hi I’m Paul.”

 

The blonde got up and shook his hand delicately.

“Yes I know who you are but the question is do you remember me?” She flashed him a smiled.

 

Damn he thought, he did know her and it had been bothering him all night.

‘Sorry, I recognize you but I’m at a lose here.” He blushed as he was put on the spot.

 

“Linda……Linda Eastman.” She waited to see if he remembered her now.

 

He ran the name around in his head. Then it hit him where he had met her although that had been some time ago.

“Yes, Linda Eastman I do remember you. The Sgt, Pepper Party we had in 67. You were one of the very few photographers there…..You took that pic of me and John with our thumbs up and the other lads by the mirror. I was dead keen on that one. You’re very talented.”

 

She nodded as she listened to him and remembered spending the evening chatting with him that night.

 

“Yes, that’s the one that was the best, my magazine used that picture.” She wondered if he even remembered talking with her that night.

 

“Me and my friends are heading out to a speakeasy care to join us?” He really hoped she would. He remembered that night a long time ago talking to the very pretty American photographer.

 

“Well, I’m here with Eric and the rest of the band. I don’t want to be rude.”

   

“Ask them along, I love their music and I am friends with them.” He smiled

What the hell was he doing ?  Was he trying to give this girl a pull? Or was he? He didn’t know , he just wanted company even if it was for an hour or so.

 

“All right that sounds cool, we’ll hang with you. Lead the way.”

 

They followed them to the speakeasy and went inside to a quieter atmosphere.

A table was found and they all crowded around and ordered drinks. Paul made sure Linda sat next to him.

“I remember talking to you most of the evening at that party. I was impressed with your photos.”

 

“Yes, I enjoy taking unusual pictures of bands. I have a knack for it.”

 

“Did you ever publish that book you were talking about then?”

 

“It’s in the works right now……should be a few months before it comes out in the states and then here.”

 

His eyes never left hers as they carried on their conversation. He didn’t even realize they had been talking so long until his friend nudged him.

“Paul it’s late I think I’m going you coming or staying?”

 

Paul looked from his friend to Linda .

“I’m sorry I have to go . It’s been a pleasure talking to you. I hope to see you again and see your book.”

Reluctantly he got up and stared down at her. The old him would make a play for her to come to his lonely home with him. Part of him wanted her to but Cyn came into his mind even though he had drank a lot he knew it wouldn’t be a good idea.

 

“Well, Paul McCartney if you’re ever in New York come stop by and see me. I’m in the phone book. “ She rose and got a peak on the cheek before he left. She felt disappointed that he didn’t invite her home. That was all right there were plenty of musicians around for her. The only thing was she thought she made an impression on him and he made one on her. He wasn’t just a pretty face, he conversed well and had charm. She had known that from a year in a half ago when they sat talking. She sighed and watched him step out of the door and probably her life.

 

 

Later in the week, after the grueling shoot of the documentary, he sat at his desk.

Susan had gone home and not to many people were there when a quick knock came at his door.

“Come in” He yelled.

 

In walked a thin, long legged, pretty girl; she had short hair and long dark lashes with a very mod outfit on. He smiled as he got up to greet her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself up for a quick kiss.

“Paul they told me you were back. You look smashing.”

 

He released her and looked her over.

“Modeling is agreeing with you Twigs.”

 

“Yes I am the top model everywhere and I am loving it.”

He motioned for her to sit on the couch with him.

“So is this a casual call or is there something I can do for you ?”

 

She smiled making her look even prettier and he noticed the alluring smell of her perfume. Cor, he had to get some soon he was dying and a wank off just didn’t do it for him anymore. Well, another three days and Cyn would be home. His attention focused back to her animated chatter.

 

 “I’ve got one for you. I was watching this talent show you see and this young blonde Welsh girl was on it. Fabulous she was. Her name is Mary Hopkins. Would you give her a listen?” She sat so close to him he had to move back a bit. He knew she wasn’t doing it on purpose , it was him. He thought about what she was saying.

 

“She in town?”

 

“No she’s only 17 but has a bloody fantastic voice. Her mum would have to come with her.” She sat anxiously watching him think, hoping he would say yes.

 

He sighed. “17 you say, that’s a bit tricky.”

 

‘I know but if you could hear her sing you’d take a risk on this one.”

Her smile was enticing and her eyes sparkled with excitement as she tried to convince him.

 

“When could she come up?”  He twisted his sort neck, still eyeing her and waiting.

 

“Well I didn’t call her I thought you should. After all I didn’t know if you’d take her on”

She looked at him knowingly as she took a piece of paper out of her purse and handed it to him.

 

He bit his lip. He was due down in the studio with Badfinger in a few minutes and the album was going slow . On top of that the Beatles were busy. He also wanted to spend some time with Cyn and Jules who he had only seen once since Cyn’s departure.

 

“You think she’s that good do you?”

 

“Give a listen and if she isn’t then forget her it’s only a few hours. If she is good Apple has another hit. Where’s the loss?”

 

He held the paper in front of him looking at everything she wrote. He also noticed she was bobbing excitedly up and down; that didn’t set well with is sexless diet.

 

He got up, his back towards her as he readjusted himself. Then he turned around.

“Right” He sighed in defeat.

“I’ll have a listen and had someone ring her in the morning see when I can fit her in. right by you?”

 

She jumped up excitedly and threw her arms around him kissing his cheek.

“Thank you so much , you’ll see. I would like to be there ok?”

 

He nodded to her as he tried to calm himself down, by telling himself Cyn would be home soon. He was going to go potty when he got her. Again his attention drew back to the beautiful model.

“Sure you can give a listen. I’ll ring you with the details.” He started walking her to the door on his way out to the studio.

 

She giggled as she wrapped her arms around him again in a tight hug.

“Oh Paulie, you better go and do something about your problem. I’d gladly help you but I am friends with Cyn,” She smacked him on the bum and started down the hall laughing.

 

“Cheeky” He yelled to her , making her laugh louder.

 

He started to the studio and glanced at the paper again before sticking it in his pocket.

“Mary Hopkins now what are we going to do with you girl.”

He jumped down the stairs to the studio , ready to record the group.