CHAPTER THIRTEEN

 

 

 

 

            The wheels squealed as the brakes where pressed against them to slow down the train as it started to come to yet another stop. The ride was long, one stop after another as

 People got on , throwing their bags above them before sitting down for their journey. The cars went on down the line connecting all the travelers together. Everyone packed in their seats going to their destination for their own various reasons.

            Cynthia was tired after packing in a hurry and closing up the house. She almost

threw the clock across the room that morning when the alarm rang , waking her suddenly from her deep slumber. They had hurried to pick up the tickets that John had left , without a minute to waste. Julian had sat with a coloring book and crayons that only kept him busy for a short time. Cynthia had soon exhausted all the snacks and toys she took along to keep him occupied. She wondered to herself how Paul had traveled such a long way without a problem with Julian. He had always told her that he had been well behaved for such a long way.                                                                                                                She shifted guiltily in her seat at the thought of Paul. Not telling him was something that kept nagging at her. She had told Ross not to say a word , that she was surprising him, coming back a day earlier.  She quickly filed it away as Julian again became rambunctious, fidgeting in his seat and bothering the lady in front of him. The lady had on a large hat that Julian found fascinating. He kept pulling at it , making the lady turn around , giving Cynthia a look as if to say control you child.

            Soon , the other passengers saw her exhaustion at trying so hard to keep him still in his seat. A lady sitting in the row across from her smiled , sympathizing with her. She leaned over to where they were sitting.,

“ I have a girl about his age and she doesn’t take to the ride much either.”

 

Cynthia smiled relieved that someone understood her dilemma .

“ I don’t know what to do with him.” She said in defeat.

 

The women pulled out a few things from her bag and encouraged Julian to come sit with her , giving Cynthia  the rest she needed.

“Thank You . You don’t mind?”

 

“Not at all , I’ve been gone a week and miss my little one. Had a funeral ya know way up there, couldn’t miss it . Family and all that .”

 

Cynthia nodded “Sorry to hear it”

 

The lady played with Julian and looked over to the tired blonde, “Sorry?” she laughed “That old wanker was supposed to be dead a year ago, or so they said. His bum was to stubborn to go . He said we’d take everything he owned. But the old sod had a will drawn up so we’ll get what he wanted us to.”

 

“Was he your dad?”

“Naaa me uncle….tight wad he was . He did it though , lived longer then they said. Glad that mess is done with. You get some rest now and I ‘ll tend to your boy if you want . What’s his name?”

 

Cynthia watched him play with the toys she had obviously brought back for her child. “Julian’s his name. You sure ?”

 

“Yes , I told you that. Where you off at ?”

 

“London, going home.”

 

“Your husband picking you up at the station?”

 

Cynthia squirmed for a minute not knowing what to say. “You could say that. Yes.”

 

“Well you rest up then luv . you have a reunion waiting.”

 

Cynthia laid back , she was grateful for her help but didn’t want to answer the questions that would follow.

 

            She didn’t realize she had fallen asleep, until she felt a slight shake to her arm.

 

“Best get up luv Our station is next.”

 

Cynthia looked over embarrassed that she had fallen asleep on the last part of the trip, leaving her son with a woman she had just met.

“oh , I’m so sorry . I didn’t mean to sleep.’

 

“It’s alright ….Julian and I have been having fun. Haven’t we Julian?”

Julian shook his head , watching in disappointment as the woman put all the toys away.

“Their mine.” He said grabbing at them.

 

“Oh Julian stop that and come over here to mummy . Say thank you to the lady.”

 

His lips formed a pout as he softly said thank you and went over to Cynthia.

“Thanks again .”

 

            The train jerked to it’s stop, making it hard to get everything together. She waited for  the woman in the hat to leave , then squeezed out in front of the lady who she had become friendly with. They filed off and she looked around to see Les, who had gotten her bags from the train. John was standing there, dark glasses on his face and a hat tipped on his head. He waved so they could see him. The lady leaned over to Cynthia.

“Nice looking husband you have , what you can see of him anyhow.” She laughed as she said good-bye to Julian and then the Cynthia. Guilt traveled through her body again as the lady made the comment before she left. Cynthia took a deep breath , choking down her guilt and fears . She watched as Julian ran to John and followed behind him.

 

            John picked up Julian welcoming him with a hug and smiled down at him. “I really missed ya.” He hugged him again . “Were you good for your mum?”

 

Julian was to caught up in his father’s affection to answer. Cynthia smiled shyly up at John. “He was a right terror and he knows it. Thank God for the kindness of a women sitting by me.”

 

“The one hugging you good – bye there?”

 

“Yes, she was nice enough to watch him for a little bit so I could rest.”

 

The hat flew off John’s head as he ruffled his son’s hair. Quickly he turned , picked it up and placed it back on . Looking around; he made sure no one recognized him. He motioned to Cynthia to move towards the car. “So you were a right bugger were you ? That’s me boy.” He laughed as he carried him to the car.

 

Les put the bags in the boot . He came around waiting for them to slide in the car before shutting the door and then got behind the wheel. He turned around to face his boss. “Nice to see you again Mrs. Len…..” he looked embarrassed at not knowing what to call her then looked over to John.

“Oh go on Les , her name is still Lennon.” He stated making a face .

“Mrs. Lennon, it is truly good to see you and Julian.”

 

She smiled uncomfortably, knowing to well that John was enjoying the situation. “ Thank you Les and it is good to see you as well.”

 

Les then looked to John. “Where to?”

 

John looked to Cyn and with a grin turned back to Les. “ To me x-mum in law’s. I know she can’t wait to see me” he said still grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

 

Cynthia watched discreetly , as John showered Julian with attention, carrying on with  animated conversation.

She smiled to herself at this interaction . This was something that hadn’t happened between them for quite sometime and Julian drank it in like a flower that needed water. He truly loved his dad and didn’t seem to shy to show it.

 

She noticed how much better John looked then the last time she had seen him all those months ago. He looked fresh , healthy , more his old self and after all this time she still found him attractive.  Her mind carried her away , remembering a few times long ago, just like this, when it seemed like they were a normal family. Those where always the memories that got her through the bad times , until the bad time became more and the good times less.

During her thoughts she didn’t realize she had been starring at them .

 

John looked at her amused. “Cyn ? oh Cyynn? Anybody at ome ?”

 

Startled , she looked at John peering over his glasses at her, waiting for her response.

She cleared her throat and blushed a bit. “What? I’m sorry. “ The blush grew hotter in her cheeks as she gave him her full attention.

 

“Off in dream work again or is it my divine beauty that’s got ya in a trance?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

 

“Oh sod off you.” She told him with slight embarrassment. He knew her well enough to state what she was thinking, even though he hide it well behind his joking manner. “I was simply watching how much Julian has missed you.” Well it was part of the truth anyway she thought.

 

They arrived at her mothers house . When Cynthia asked him in , he simply waved her off, telling her he liked his man hood to much and would wait in the car.

 

She tried to make it quick, but it wasn’t quick enough.  Her mom stepped in front of the door not letting her leave . Mrs. Powell had a lot of opinions and the ones she had of John weren’t at all good. She gently pushed Julian towards the kitchen. “Grammy made you some chocolate cakes. Go on there on the table . I’ll be there in a minute.” After she was sure Julian was out of ear shot , she turned her attention to her daughter.

“I’ll speak my peace one more time. It still isn’t to late to back out of this. Nothing good will come of it. If he needs to talk to you so bad it could have been done with that call .”

 

Cynthia didn’t feel up to a fight with her mom. Her stomach was already in knots. How could she tell her that she tried to fight talking to him in person but he still had a hold on her that she couldn’t explain? There was a need in his voice and a need in her to find out what was wrong. How could she tell her that she was disappointed in this weakness she still carried? That she felt she had no choice in the matter.

“Mum ……Please? I know what your sayin but this is something I have to do.”

 

Mrs. Powell gave a warning look to her daughter , afraid that she would yet make another bad decision when it came to John Lennon. “Don’t let him swindle you in like this luv. What about Paul? He’s so good for you . He’s not like that Lennon character.”

 

She felt herself getting angry and found she was still defending John even now to her mother.  “ May I remind you mother” she said sternly “ that John character paid for this house and many other things you would never have!” With that she brushed by her mother and opened up the front door. “ I’ll ring tomorrow to get Julian.” Not wishing to go any further with this she left . . She had stood her ground. Standing at the closed door for a minute she took a deep breath; letting it out slowly she wondered if it wasn’t going to end like all the other times she had stood her ground and defended him.

 

He watched closely as she got into the car. “Rough time with mumsy then?”

 

She looked at him and shook her head. “ You were right not to go in there . She probably d id have a knife ready to end the Lennon blood line.”

 

He gave her an exaggerated shiver as he chuckled . “Knowing Lillian I wouldn’t put it past her.:” He pushed up on his sit and leaned up to Les. “ Take us to me Aunt Mimi’s Les.”

 

Cynthia looked over at John; surprised at where they where going. “Why Mimi’s ? “

 

“aaaww she won’t have a knife for you ‘ he smiled. ”Besides she’s off visiting me other Auntie for a week.”

He sat back in his seat and got comfortable.

 

“How comforting.” She mumbled. The wheels started turning in her head , sparking her interest. She turned to John questionably. “ But why all the way to Mimi’s house John? What is so important we have to go there?”  Discomfort surrounded her as she asked him.

 

He saw it on her face and answered her more seriously. “It’s out of the way . No one will bother us AND we can talk there.” And then he added with a sardonic smile.                    “ Anyways  I have the key”

He reached into his pocket, took it out and started swirling it around his finger, trying to break the tension.

 

Nervousness didn’t cover the way she felt at what he had declared. There were so many emotions running through her; she just couldn’t take the suspense any longer.         “What’s this about John?”

 

He brushed it off quickly. “ I told you it will hold til we get there. Now tell me what you’ve done to our boys farm up there?”

 

He hoped mentioning this would steer her away from questioning him. It worked, she went on to tell him the long hours she and Ross had put into the restoration of the farm house. Excitedly , she told him everything that had been done to it. She then went on the explain how she had decorated the place , how much she had enjoyed doing it. She told him of how beautiful the country was up there and how she had learned to ride the horses.. She was surprised that she had his full attention, even some laughs and questions of interest. Seeing this she even told him she had started drawing again, some of her drawings being, how she wanted the house inside to look and had been considering going to work in the field.

 

He listened intently to what she had to say. She had grown a lot in the last few months he noticed. When did she ever want to work? He had remembered her drawings at art school had been quite good and now she was telling him she wanted to use this gift she had in the art form of decorating.  He never knew she had wanted to pursue a career. He only thought she wanted to be a mother and wife. He had laughed when she said she wanted to decorate Kentwood; was she really serious back then? He realized he never real took her seriously or listened to her. He would never have let her do it of course. Just like George with Pattie, he believed she didn’t need the money so why work. It never occurred to him that she might want to do it because she loved it. Since he had met Yoko a lot of his opinions had changed towards women. He saw Yoko’s talent and drive to do want she loved and to do it well.

 

“So why don’t you do it then if that’s what will make you happy?”

 

She looked at him in shock. First he was really listening to her, Second, he was interested in what she had to say about it and third he was encouraging her to do it.

“John what’s gotten into you? I ‘ve never seen this side of you.”

 

“Well , Yoko has shown me a different way of thinking I suppose. She is an artist and truly believes in her work. I see how it makes her happy and it’s not about the money. It’s about the satisfaction she gets from it., the ideas she gets are brilliant and it gets people thinking . She told me it’s just like how I feel about music. How I feel when a song is complete , that rush ya know of creating something bigger then you that will live on.”

 

She looked at him amazed. “ John Lennon I think your growing up .”

 

He gave her a humble look. “We’ll talk about it more when we get inside.”

 

She looked up to notice they were sitting in front of a beautiful beach cottage that belonged to Mimi.  The time had slipped by , the conversation had flowed and for the first time in a long time she  found she had really enjoyed talking with him.  

 

 

 

 

 

                                               CHAPTER FOURTEEN

 

 

 

 

 

 

            The house still looked the same as she slowly walked in. She took off her coat putting it on the hook. She remembered when it was bought . John had been so excited to finally do something big for Mimi, a pay back she thought for all that Mimi had done for him. She also knew part of it was to show Mimi that playing a guitar was a good living. After, some convincing from both of them , she had finally agreed. When they had taken her there she said it was perfect. John had smiled remembering she had wanted to live by the sea and that for the first time she didn’t fuss at him. The satisfaction had become contagious , with John dancing Mimi around the house showing her everything . The look in her eyes was all he needed and talked about all the way back to Kentwood.

 

 

Now, it felt strange and uninviting. The Gold albums were still on the walls as well as the MBE standing on the telly. The place wasn’t huge , two bedrooms , small kitchen with a breakfast bar and stools. The living room with a fireplace, beige wall to wall carpeting a modest sofa set , chair and tables with a connecting dinette.  She sat on the couch feeling like she would jump out of her skin as she watched John walk over to the cupboard and grab a bottle with two glasses.

 

“Fancy a drink then Cyn?”

 

“That would be fine Ta.” That would held to calm the nerves she thought.

 

 

He watched her nervously look around the house and figured a drink would calm her nerves. It would definitely calm his. He filled his generously with scotch and then filled hers. He added some coke to it and with a second thought poured a little more scotch in her drink. He brought them back to the coffee table, handing one to her and then sat down taking a large gulp from his.

 

“Cheers.” He said clanging his glass to hers as he took a few more large gulps. Finished he quickly made another for himself; he didn’t think he’d be this nervous. After all he had been rehearsing everything in his head all week.  He watched her take a drink and make a face at how strong it was.

 

“That’s a bit strong.” Coughing as she said it.

 

He nodded , taking another drink. “Better to calm the old nerves,”

 

She took a few more gulps ; the taste getting less with each one.

“I suppose……..Now what’s so bleedin important that you went through all this trouble?’

 

 

They faced each other . He couldn’t look at her so he got up and started pacing around. With a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other he ventured forward and hoped all his practicing would make it turn out alright.

 

“Ok ……First , you know Yoko and I got in to it bad with the drugs. Well, seems like since we got off them I havebeen facin a lot of shite. “ He swigged down more of his drink then continued.

 

“Seems Yoko thought I hadn’t had …..Oh what did she call it …..oh yeah closure with you.”

 

“Closure.” Cynthia repeated dryly.

 

 

“Yeah that’s right …..so anyroad we decided to ummm…  To.take a brake from one another, cuz we needed some closure on what happened between us before I could go on with Yoko.”

He nervously lit another cigarette this time offering her one. When she didn’t say anything he went on.

“I’ve been thinking about what a prick I was to ya and all . The guilt and everything was to much.” It was then he turned to her.

 

“Cyn, I’m really sorry. I realized it in the car today too. I never took you seriously about certain stuff….never really listened to ya.  We were young and I didn’t know how to be a husband let alone a father and look what appened I became me old man . Never wanted that one.. The band was taking off faster then I thought and I got caught up so much in it and me and forgot about you two in the process.”

 

He picked up her glass and refilled it along with his and handed to her.

 

“I was a right arse….I was daft the way I treated you. Cor Cyn, if I was you I would have left my sorry arse long ago.”

 

She was so shocked at his admissions it left her speechless.

 

“The more I thought , the more I hated myself for it. I’m so sorry really . I should never have laid a hand on you . All the times I hit you , yelled at you . I used you for me own frustrations. Christ , and the girls……What can I say I was weak….fame was so …. So over powering I just lost it.”

 

She raised her eyebrow, looking at him. “ and the girls before fame?”

 

He sighed heavily. “Yeah , them; Weren’t  right either.”

 

Shock started to slowly turn to anger. “What about coming home from holiday and finding you and Yoko together in the kitchen and her in my dressing gown?”

 

He winced at that , then sat down in front of her on the coffee table and nodded blowing his cigarette smoke out slowly thinking.

 

“That was pretty soft as well.”

 

Suddenly, he looked so small to her with all his admissions. She felt herself grow hot the more he went on.

 

“And your  telling me now because Yoko told you to or because you want to get rid of your guilt?”

He hung his head at that knowing that maybe it did sound that way.

 

“Well yes and no.”

 

“Which then?” she said raising her voice.

 

He stood up confused, nervous energy ran through him while he paced in front of her.

 

“Yes I mean no…..Yoko pointed it out to me yes but I had been going on about it til  she couldn’t stand me. I felt these things. I realized how I was. Oh I always knew and felt bad after. There were so many times I wanted to say I’m sorry and at first I didbut then out of stupid pride I didn’t. I knew that was wrong.”

 

“So you just let me think it was me.” She stated more to herself then him.

She finished her drink , then stubbed out her smoke. She stood up; the rage was finally setting in.

“You let me go on believing that there was something wrong with me. Then you have the nerve to do this. “ her voice raised even louder at the thought of it. “you got me here to tell me this out of pure selfishness!”

 

He could feel the defenses stir inside him. This wasn’t what he had planned.

“NO!  I thought that maybe you might want to hear this. That just maybe it might put things in order between us!”

 

“Do you know the hell I went through with you? The hell I put myself through? If only I did this maybe things would be better . Maybe if I try this it would bring us closer. Those were your words!!!!  Weren’t they?” She was yelling now . Years of frustration, years of thinking she had done something wrong, only wanting to make him happy. Now the truth was coming out. “I always asked you to talk to me , to spend time with me and Julian and you couldn’t be bothered to listen to me!!!”

 

“DAMN IT CYN!!!!!” He banged his finished glass on the table.

“Haven’t you been listening to me?”

 

She laughed sarcastically. “How does it feel John huh?  Tell me how does it feel?”

 

His temper was flaring as he resorted to his old ways of putting her in her place.

“ I suppose you were nothing but faithful to me all those years pretty boy Macca was hangin about!!!!”

 

 

She turned around, crossed her arms and spoke adamantly. “Yes I was. Nothing happened between Paul and me til we were divorced.”

 

“Oh and I’m supposed to believe that am I? He’d come lurking about all innocently, I knew he had feelings for you!” he stated angrily.

 

For the first time in her life she tried to stare him down. The anger was so high it pushed back the fear that usually came with his out bursts.

 

“Yes you are…… I never did any thing but love you.”

 

His mood turned more acerbic as he continued. “No …nothing you did was wrong was it?  Mr. Paul Fuckin McCartney is so bleedin wonderful now isn’t he?”

 

She had been standing across the room from him. His last statement brought on rage as she shook, defending her self, defending her lover. The tables had certainly turned in his favor, she thought as she walked closer to her exploding x-husband.

 

“Yes he is……he’s damn sight better then you….He treats me and Julian good. We can talk and most of all I trust him. Are you jealous of him John?” Good shot she thought as she finished.

 

He hated that she hit the nail on the head. He hated that he was indeed jealous of Paul and he couldn’t understand why he didn’t want them together. He was angry at himself for feeling this way. The hate became seething as he had been turning it on her. 

“ Bollocks!  I Just don’t know why outa all the blokes around you went with him.”

 

 

 

He then started baiting her, playing his favorite cat and mouse game; a game he play often with her. “ I bet  ya thought of me the first time you fucked him.” Not allowing her to answer he started in on yet another ploy.

 

“Oh trusting is he now.” He added more calmly. “Then do tell; has he told you about the latest scandal…..?”

 

With the furry still ignited she looked puzzled at him. “I thought not.” He had known Paul hadn’t told her and he knew why. Using it this way was to his advantage.   He walked over to the stacks of papers he had put on the table in the dinette . He turned to the page where the story and the picture were in and then with the few other papers he had bought. “Now look at this would ya.  Second Beatle your on and with out a thought to Julian and me...”

 

She walked over to the papers and read in horror.

 

“You’re a right celebrity you are.” He said mockingly.

 

She stopped reading it. Why hadn’t he told her?  Confused by Paul not telling her and angered the John did she turned to him. She saw the satisfied smirk on his face. Everything he said flooded her head and the comments about Paul along with the article made it all worse. Enraged she ran over to him and smacked him as hard as she could across the face . The smack shocked him, she had never hit him before. He brought his hand up to his face and rubbed it. She took that moment to start beating him repeatedly on the chest yelling and screaming at him.

“YOU BASTARD YOU FUCKIN BLOODY BASTARD!!!!!!!!!”

 

Stunned, he softened realizing he had yet done it again. He felt tears in his eyes at how he had hurt her, that wasn’t supposed to happen he thought. He felt her assault on his body and grabbed her . Shaking her , trying to bring her back to her senses . He looked down at her as she slowly stopped hitting him and sobbed uncontrollably. He wrapped her in his arms and followed her shrinking body to the floor.

 

 There he cradled her in his arms. “shhh ….shhh It’s alright luv….I’m so sorry.”

He felt all her weight fall into him as she cried so hard she shook . He began to rock her gently , softly whispering in her ear it would be ok. Then , he began kissing the top of her head.  He felt her arms tighten around him .  Dizziness took hold of his head; sick at what he had done, sick at what he always had done to her. It felt so familiar, to much so and it always ended up the same way, with her crying and him as well . He felt tears stream down, hot on his face as he stroked her hair and tried to kiss her tears away.

 

 

Her head swam , pulling her along that old familiar path that they had been down before. It had rocked them with emotions so high and with a love so deep in the early days. Her head swirled as the feelings pushed on her like the tide. The soft spoken words, the apologies , the kissing and the touching. It felt like she had been somehow brought back in time. The time they shared in the old flat of Stu’s . She could almost smell the oils along with the dirt that encompassed it.

 

 She felt him raise her chin gently with his forefinger. They both looked into each others tear filled eyes; lost in a feeling from long ago. Slowly, he kissed her lightly at first and then stronger. Desperately, the kiss became Hungrier and down came the walls with the urgency of their passion.

 

His kisses went from her mouth to her cheek and then down to her neck. She nuzzled into them , running her hands through his hair . His lips again joined hers as he leaned his arm under her shirt, skillfully unsnapping her bra. His hand roamed her familiar body, rubbing up against her breast and stroking her nipple. She moaned , running he hands over his chest and quickly started to unbutton his shirt.  He stopped to take his shirt and tee shirt off and then proceeded to take her top and bra off as well. They looked into each others still watery eyes . She stroked his face where she had hit him , wiped his tearsand  then kissed the red mark that still glowed from her hand. He gently brushed her tears away as well.

They continued the burning kisses that made their bodies burn even more. He pushed his shoes off with his feet , getting up on his knees , she followed suit. Both undressed quickly so they could feel their bare skin against each other , further bring them to a frenzy.  They knew each others bodies well as the moments turned to hurried minutes.

He laid her gently onto the rug, bring his naked body over hers giving just enough pressure for her to feel his hardness against her thigh. He suckled her breast as she ran her fingers down his body. He could feel them burn down his back over his bottom and up his thighs.

 

He groaned as she found what she was looking for and squeezed teasingly. The need was so strong he shook from it as she started gently stroking his hardness. His hand was drawn to the center of her passion , where he started to slowly rub. She was swollen and wet as he rubbed faster until he heard her moan in growing waves of pleasure that reached it’s peak faster then either thought she would.

 

Slowly and gently he entered her, never losing sight of her eyes that were filled with desire and love. She arched her back into him as he started his rhythm . Kissing and holding her , he made love to her the way they used to.  He would slow down then continue faster and kissing her so deep she swore their souls where again one as they had been in the beginning.  They prolonged their lovemaking for as long as either could stand it. He felt her begin to climax as they both felt the release they so desperately needed.

 

 He slowly slid off , holding her snuggly in his arms as he kept his lips to hers, kissing until they both needed air. Panting, they laid in each others arms content to feel the warmth that spread throughout their bodies.

 

 

 

 

Paul and George sat across from one another playing their guitars in the studio they had booked for tonight. They were working on a song Paul wrote while they waited for the late Beatle to arrive. George listened again to the words while Ringo listened to the      beat trying to figure out what drums would be needed to accompany them.

 

 

The music stopped while Paul began tuning his guitar. “Hold on a sec. needs a bit of tuning.”

 

George looked thoughtfully at him.

“Blackbird huh? What’s it about ? Has a nice flow to it.”

 

“I ‘ve reading some of the papers from the states and I remembered when we were over there . The turmoil with the civil rights moment really gets to me ya know.  It’s about that, how the Black over there are trying to rise up to equal the Whites. It really made me sick to see everything labeled for whites only or for blacks only. There might not be any slavery over there any more but they aren’t much further then last century. Do you know they can’t even vote?”

 

Ringo sat along side of them thinking this over. “Yeah I remember that one. Christ, you think they treat there dogs better. America they say the home of the free .”

 

Paul jumped in. “Exactly!  They are only as free as there masters allow them to be. It’s potty over their . The violence and everything.   And what about the assassination of Dr. King?    A brilliant peaceful man he was , with a beautiful dream.”

 

George fiddled with his guitar as well, it had sounded a bit out of tune to him.

“Your right Paul . There just isn’t enough love in the world and it is bound to be the down fall. Right nice song though.”

 

Paul smiled at his younger band mate. “George Harrison the philosopher who would have thought?” They all started laughing at that.

 

Ringo piped up at this. “yeah we didn’t  know you had it in ya son.”

 

He gave a friendly nudge to Ringo “Cheeky aren’t you,’

 

George still had a smile on his face knowing they were joking around waiting for the very late John Lennon.

 

They looked up at the clock on the wall. Then George Martin’s voice came down from the control booth. “Where is he? We really need to start.”

 

George looked up at him through the glass. “Maybe he doesn’t have a watch.’

 

Ringo laughed at this. “How could he ? He can’t tell time yet.”

 

They all laughed harder as Paul added. “Oh now mates John is on Lennon time which is much different then us.”

 

“Is that like in the states where they all have different time ? ya know like Eastern standard time. Is he on Lennon standard time?”

 

The voice from the booth came again . This time it was Mal. “I’ve called around everywhere and no ones seen him.”

 

“Ya know he’s not with Yoko right now, he’s probably with some bird.”

Paul didn’t know how right he was as the others chimed in with him , laughing and making rude jokes about it.

 

“well I’ll try again to find him .” Mal stated then walked out of the control booth.

 

 

 

 

            Cynthia woke first noticing the darkness in the room. The only light came from the kitchen showing the silhouette of the man she had recently made love with. Reality hit her hard as she looked over and saw John , still asleep and still holding her. She jumped up and shook him awake.

“John !” she pushed at him until she got an answer.

 

“hmmm?” slowly he woke rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He felt a peace he hadn’t felt in sometime as he looked over at Cynthia, who by this time was remembering what had happened.

 

“JOHN! Wake up . Oh God what did we do?” Her thoughts went right to Paul. All this time she had questioned him if he could stay faithful and now she was the one who didn’t. Guilt reared it’s ugly head as she sat up fretting over what she had done.

 

John was awake now, he lifted himself on to his elbow, resting his chin on his hand and then he smiled down at her. “Relax luv It’s ok.’

 

“That’s easy for you to say. What are you going to tell Yoko?”

 

He sighed, thinking about the events that had just occurred over the last few hours.

 

“First ….are we ok? I mean that was some emotional roller coaster  we had today.”

 

She realized that for the first time she could remember she wasn’t anger with him. They had gotten a lot out and he had said some things she really did need to hear , even though she had been angry at the time. She knew a little better were they stood  and making love to him no matter how wrong it was made her feel closer to him. It had purged all that had happened to them over the years .

 

“I did need to hear what you said in the beginning and I got some old hurts and rage out.”

 

She watched him as he rubbed his sore cheek. “Yeah I’ll say you did , You’ve got a mean right hand you do.  You should have done that sooner to me .”

 

She felt bad about that. “I’m so sorry John.”

 

He smiled at her. “No harm done ….I deserved it , I was again a right arse.”

 

He watched as a smile spread across her face. “Really are we ok?”

  

 

She nodded “Ya know I think we are. I just wish you would spend more time with Julian he needs you.”

 

He nodded in agreement. “You’re right and I will try my hardest to be a better father to him…….” He trailed off thinking about what he put her through with Paul . “Umm I’m sorry about what I said about Paul. He’s me mate  and I do think you’ve up and changed his filthy cheatin ways…” He laughed. “Naw he’s good for you . He can give you what I could never give you. And I think you’re good for him, he seems to be more settled and focused with you.”

 

She looked at him stunned by his frankness. “Really?…..hmmm …well this is a first John. No more Jealousy ?”

 

He shook his head. “I still will feel protective of you ….but no more Jealousy….not much anyway.” He laughed.

 

This brought her back to what had happened. “Oh God John what am I gonna do . He’s gonna leave me when he finds out about this.,”

 

John held up his hand to her., “He’s not gonna find out. This will never happen again and you shouldn’t ruin a good thing over a one time deal. I know you and you are faithful and have been faithful to me through our marriage so why go do a stupid thing by telling him this?”

 

 

She thought about how they had promised to talk and be honest with one another. She didn’t want to lie to him and she was such a bad liar. “I don’t know if I could keep this from him. I don’t want to lie to him it will only blow up in my face.”

 

 

They were both getting dressed as they talked.. He sat down on the coffee table and put on his shoes, still thinking, “Are you gonna lose the best thing that’s ever happened to you besides Julian over a sod like me?  Be real Cyn….don’t tell him , you know I wouldn’t no matter what.” He turned on the light, he looked at her seeing the worry on her face he went over and brought her into a comfortable hug.  “Even if you hit me again I will never tell.”

 

She wasn’t so sure she could keep this from him. John could lie like a pro but she knew she couldn’t and the guilt.

“I…I don’t know if I can John . You know I’m not a good liar.”

 

He laughed at how true it was., “I’ll give ya lessons…..Don’t do it, trust me ..” then he thought again .”But you are a lousy liar….If you do decide to tell him I will take the whole blame, I’ll explain it to him . Tell him it was more me than you. He knows I’m a  tosser. Just let me know what you want . ok?” He squeezed her then let her go .

 

 

She started fixing her makeup in the living room mirror, watching him through it.

“What about Yoko?”

 

He shook his head., “I’ll tell her although I think she knew it would happen anyway. I think that’s why she told me we needed to break it off until me and you spoke.  She said we needed closure which would move us both physically as well as emotionally; to close the door  and go on . I didn’t understand it at the time. I think I do now.”

 

 

Cynthia was surprised at what he had just admitted to. “She knew?”

“Like I said she sent me packing and told me not to take to long. Just relax luv. Don’t do the wrong thing here with Paulie, just go on with your lives and be happy.”

He winked at her and made a face.

 

 

She smiled and looked over at him. “And the answer is no.”

 

“No? a little to late for that now luv isn’t it?” He smiled at her.

 

“No I mean I never thought of you the first time Paul and I were together. Sorry.” Her smile grew bigger as he faked a hurt look on his face. He lit two cigarettes and gave her one.

 

“Ya gonna tell him then?” He blew the smoke out while he waited for her answer.

 

She sat back against the couch and shook her head. “ I don’t know.”

 

John sat down next to her, he took her hand in his. “I think it’s best luv. I want you to know I was never intending on this to happen. “ he thought for a minute . “Although…..it was rather nice it reminded me of the old days when things were easier.” He let his mind wander back for a minute then smashed his cigarette into the ashtray.

 

“I know you didn’t .” she squeezed his hand back.

 

He pull his hand from her placing it around her . “I’m not sorry it happened mind you but I do feel bad , putting you on the spot and such.”

 

He looked at his watch and jumped off the couch. “Bloody fucking hell, I was supposed to be in the studio quite a while ago. I better call George before he goes sparce.”

 

He picked up the phone and dialed the number to the studio; a familiar voice answered the phone. “Hullo George.” He said in a sing song manner.

 

“John?  John where the hell are you?  The others have been here for quite a while. We need you down here straight away!”

 

He heard the mix of concern and irritation in George Martin’s voice.

 

“Sorry don’t get your knickers in a bunch I ‘ll be there with in the hour.”

He picked up his things and put on his jacket. He motioned to Cynthia.

 

“I’m sorry I have to go….their not to happy with me absence. I really wish you wouldn’t tell him. But like I said before if you do I will try and make him understand.’

 

“ You and Yoko will get back together?”

 

 

“Yeah she knows me to well , I think we’ll be alright now. I’ll see her later. “ She picked up her purse and they headed for the door. Before they opened it he hugged her.

 

“You sure you and me are alright then?”

 

She hugged him back. “ John I think we shall be good friends now. I too know you well.”

 

He kissed her on the forehead , then led her out to the car. “Les will take to where you need to go but first I have to go to the studio before they murder me.”

 

 

            They got into the car , she felt so close to him now. There was no bitterness, no anger and things were finally falling into place in her mind. She wasn’t in love with him but she did love him.  The thing was she knew he felt the same, Yoko was better for him and Paul was better for her. It seemed so strange how things worked out. The only thing now was what to do about the guilt she felt. She realized he was talking to her.

 

“I’ll try better with Julian too I promise. Again I am sorry for putting you in this position with Paul. Is that what your thinking about?”

 

“Yes it was. You know I could have said no too, so the blame doesn’t lay just with you.”

 

He gave her a big silly grin. “Yeah , ya didn’t fight me none. I’m to good to deny .”

They both laughed at that.

 

“I fell for that Lennon charm eh?”

 

He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Every bird does luv…..what are ya gonna do now?”

 

She looked down at her hands and grimaced at the thought. ”I think I’ll go to Paul’s and wait for him. I just don’t know , part of me says don’t tell him . I feel horrible not being truthful.”

 

He put his hand on hers and gently spoke. “ Well ya know how I feel. Don’t give up your happiness over something that will never happen again. I won’t tell and neither will Yoko, I can assure you of it.”

 

            The car stopped in front of the studio. They both looked up at it, sitting for a minute getting ready to re-enter the present world.

 

“Well this is me.” They hugged for a minute and then he got out of the car. He motioned her to roll down the window. He leaned his fore arm against the roof and leaned in giving her a peck on the cheek. He looked in further to Les. “Take Cyn where ever she wants to go Les” then he looked back at her and winked. “I’ll see ya soon luv.” He made a face then started to sing loud enough for her to hear as he turned around to go towards the stairs. . “Dream a little dream of me.” He ran up the stairs to the door of the studio . He gave a quick look as the car drove off. “Cor, I hope she doesn’t tell him.” He then opened the door to the building and hurried to studio two.