The horror of faith

Loyalty Fidelity to one's promises. Belief and trust. Complete confidence with strong conviction There are a few words I have become intensely familiar with ove the past few years and made part of my daily repertoire... 'TRUTH, LOVE, RESPECT and FAITH'. The other "f" word. Unfortunately people don't always hear you until you scream. The 'art of screaming' is nothing without without 'the act of faith'. The music industry is full of shit and it's nothing like the brochure they pass out at The Pretty Ugly Club in Hollywood on Wednesday night. Sure - there are strippers and drugs and too many men wearing too much make up and lots and lots of rockstars. Everyone is a fucking rockstar or better yet fucking a rockstar. Every new band outta Nowhere, USA has a hip cool image and a colorful fast food commercial video. Most of these videos come complete with a flavour of the month director who won't work for less than $100,000 because that would be insulting to his art ego and wallet. I'll tell you whats insulting - that every video on MTV has turned into an updated version of 'Me So Horny' from 2 Live Crew with nothing but half naked chicks, million $ cars and guest slots to sell it because it's empty lyrically and sucks musically. Sometimes you don't need a major label because you have an independent that believes in you. What most people don't realise is that labels - big and small - have the ability to kill your record or even just let it die a slow death. With no touring, no promotion or distribution, a band is basically fucked. As artists, we put our hearts into what we do. It breaks my heart when the people I trust with my art destroy it - either with intent or out of sheer laziness. I love playing live as most bands do because that is how you connect with your audience - it's the true essence of what we do. To be told that your label cannot support your band and you can't tour when you have more than one record out and there is a demand for your band is sad, frustrating and pathetic. Why labels sign bands and put money into making records just to sit back and do nothing to promote those records is beyond me. I am sorry if there is "absolutely no money left at all" however - you have assured us that you will "re-promote all the albums to retail and organize in store appearances" if we play. Empty promises are worth as much as the people who make them. How can a band expect a label to do a job right the second time when they couldn't even do it the first time around? Why do managers take 20 per cent of your money when in some cases they haven't even put in 2 per cent of the work? We as artists are sometimes poorly advised by people posing as managers to sell our souls, our records and ourselves to people posing as labels. We are talked into signing contracts, which do not benefit us and are forced to give 20 per cent to someone in an act of good faith that they will watch our backs, books and careers without question. So what is the difference between a manager and a tour manager then? In this case it is about 6000 miles from LA to the UK. That's to far to swim but more than enough to drown in. Weeks ago I opened an envelope with documents which represented years of my life. A long-term friendship and a business relationship should amount to more than 55 pieces of paper with parts blacked out. The music machine has left me scared. Scarred. The odour of sanctity is not what you smell on me. I have burned far to many bridges to pretend to be holy. Quit asking me to remove my wristbands, I'm not hiding a botched attempt to pre-empt my natural death and I'm not taking requests. Believe me when I say that I would rather kill you than myself, fucker! I have never been afraid to confront my accusers and it took me a short time to realise that the people who smile in my face are often the same ones who stab me in the back. I tell it like it is and if that makes me a bitch then so be it. Work hard? I've worked hard , even when those around me were hardly working. I've never claimed to be a publicist or a manager but I have had to learn to be both. Unlike some I'm not afraid to speak my mind. I will not apologise for telling the truth. The smallest seed of faith is better than the largest fruit of happiness but when faith is lost, when honour dies... the man is dead and in some case so is the manager. They say that 'time heals all wounds' but it is my opinion that 'time wounds all heels'. I guess only time will tell.

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