"So, what happened?" Dawn asked concernedly later that night. As soon as we had gotten to her apartment I had crashed on her couch and fallen asleep without giving her an explanation. I had just awoken ten or fifteen minutes ago, and now we were sitting down on her couch wrapped in a blanket.
"Well, you know why Taylor came over, right?"
"Yeah."
"Did you know he was bringing me a wedding present?"
Dawn frowned. "No…"
"Oh. Well he did. And he asked me if I was going to open it and then Shawn appeared. They started fighting and then I just said that I was going to go sit down because I didn't feel well. Taylor started to say that he would help me to the chair, and then Shawn told Taylor that he was going to help me. Then Shawn said something about him being my quote-unquote lover and Taylor said so? Shawn responded to that with, 'I don't see you fucking her every night.'"
Dawn gasped. "How awful!"
"I know," I whimpered, wiping my eyes and sniffling.
Dawn began stroking my cheek and looked deep into my eyes. "You don't need him, sweetie."
"Well I didn't think I did, but…"
"Shh shh," Dawn whispered. She began leaning in and I didn't have time to move before her lips met mine.
I pushed her off of me and stood up. "What are you doing?" I yelled.
"I thought we were having a moment…" Dawn said confusedly.
"Dawn, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but I am not gay, nor am I bisexual."
"So? I'm not gay either. You know I have a boyfriend. But there's nothing wrong with kissing."
I felt my eyes widen. "Um, well, no, but personally, the only person I would want to kiss is Taylor-" I stopped short, my eyes getting even wider. I put my hand on my mouth and watched as Dawn began smiling.
"I knew it! You still have feelings for Taylor! I knew it!"
"WHAT? I meant Shawn! I meant Shawn!"
"I knew it," Dawn said smugly.
"Wait- did you set that up? You knew what I would say! And you… you… you tricked me!"
"Yes I did and it was extremely easy."
"Fuck you."
Dawn laughed. "Oh Corrine. I was just playing. I won't tell anybody."
I glared at her. "You are sick." I began backing up to the door.
"Where are you going?"
"I don't think I can stay here…"
"Just because of a little joke?"
I looked at her, paranoid. "Uh… I think I should just leave." I opened the door and started backing out.
"Corrine! At least let me call Shawn to pick you up."
"No… no that's okay."
I shut the door and stared at the wall before me blankly. Where was I going to go? What was I going to do? I had no place to go.
I walked numbly down the stairs to the first floor and to one of the phone booths. Blindly, I dialed information and prayed the only person I had to turn to would be home.
"Hi, Zac," I said as I got into his car. "Thank you so much," I sniffed as I shut the door and he sped off.
"No problem. I'm always open to helping out an old friend. So what's going on? What did Taylor do now?"
I laughed, but stopped and clutched my seat as Zac ripped through the streets, honking at people who were going the speed limit. "Um, Zac? Maybe you should, um, slow, um, down…"
"Why?"
"Because you're going to get us killed! Slow down!"
Zac laughed and let off a little.
"Punk," I muttered.
"So. What happened?"
"Well, ironically, Taylor was involved."
Zac laughed, rolling his eyes. "What did he do?"
"Well it's not so much what he did but what my fiancé did."
Zac's face grew serious. "Oh?"
"Well, Taylor came over to thank me for our little excursion last night- um, you knew about that right?"
"Yeah."
"He brought over a wedding present for Shawn and I. And then my fiancé appeared and started up the whole, she's mine act, you know?"
Zac chuckled and nodded.
"And then they got into this big fight and then Shawn goes, 'Well I don't see you fucking her every night'." I looked over at Zac with tears in my eyes. We had stopped at a stoplight and he leaned over and hugged me.
"You're worth more than that."
"I know."
"Don't let anyone ever tell you anything like that, okay?" Zac said as he pulled away. He looked me in the eyes.
I nodded and sighed. "Do you think he just let his mouth get away from him? Or do you think that's all I am to him? A good fuck?"
"Well I don't really know him. I know that any guy can begin thinking like that. Taylor started to. Hell he thought that about Scarlet until he got her pregnant. But I know that Taylor wouldn't have said that in front of any of the girls. I certainly wouldn't."
I looked down at my hands as Zac began driving again. My hands. These hands that had held Shawn's own so many times. That had held him. That had done so many things with Shawn by my side. Now all I wanted to do was throw those memories away; to stuff them one by one into a shredder and be done with them.
"It gets worse. I tore out of the house and hopped into my assistant's car, who had brought Taylor. We got to her house and I fell asleep. I just woke up about a half an hour before I called you. I explained to her what happened and then she kissed me."
Zac slammed on the breaks. "What?"
"Yeah."
"Lesbian action?"
"Shut up, Zac," I laughed.
Zac looked over at me and smiled, chuckling.
"And then she tricked me into saying the only one I wanted to kiss was Taylor."
"How?"
"Oh I don't even know. But I just don't know if that means that I'm starting to fall for Taylor or…" ,p>"Well I couldn't tell you. Could be an old flame. I don't really know. I know Taylor believes he is still in love with you. He has for a long time. Isaac and I both told him to get a life and stop obsessing, so he stopped and started dating any girl he could get his hands on. And in the process started drinking."
"He told me he started drinking about a month after we broke up…" Zac frowned. "No. He didn't start drinking until like five years ago. When we told him to get a life."
"Then why would he tell me that he started drinking a month after?"
"Probably because he was embarrassed that he was obsessed with you for that long."
I laughed a little and sighed as Zac pulled into his driveway. He owned a two-story house that was absolutely immense! It was probably larger than my own house. There were three-garage doors- and when he pulled into the garage, each slot had a different car-, and the house was painted bluish-gray with white trim.
I got out of the car and looked around myself. The car at the other end was a truck that he obviously used for hauling garbage and what not, the car next to me was a fairly old funky orange convertible, and the car that Zac had been driving was a black BMW, his sleek, sexy, mysterio-so car.
I joined Zac on the other side of the car and he grabbed me into a big hug. Letting myself relax into his arms, I sighed sadly as a few of my tears fell. "Zac," I murmured as we stood in the dark. "What am I going to do?"
Zac sighed and pulled away, letting one arm rest on my shoulder. We walked into his house and proceeded down a long hallway to a living room, where we plopped down together on a couch that faced a TV. I leaned onto Zac and rested my head on his shoulder. This was what I loved about Zac- the closeness. We could not see each other for years but could still act the same way. He was a very touchy-feely kind of guy, too, so we were close on that level, also.
"What are you doing to do, what are you going to do…" Zac repeated to himself. "I think you should talk to Shawn. Just make sure you guys are on the same page. It sounds like he just made a mistake. I doubt that he was serious. Nobody would be able to say something truthfully like that about you."
I smiled softly at Zac. "Thanks."
He shrugged. "And then you should talk to Dawn. Definitely tell her not to tell anybody about what you said."
"Zac," I said.
"Yeah?"
"The thing that bugs me the most is," I said, choking up. "I think I meant it." I sat up and looked at him, tears falling from my eyes. "I think I'm in love with Taylor."
I sat up in my guest bed at eight AM. The nausea was returning. As I looked at the clock I concentrated on not throwing up. Anything but that. Even so, I knew that concentration wouldn't even help, so I rushed to the bathroom before it hit.
I walked out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later, groaning. I felt better but, still… My padding feet led me in the direction of Zac's bedroom, just to see if he was awake. I heard a light snoring and when I reached his door, opened it slowly. Zac was sprawled out on his bed on his stomach. Sheets were twisted around his half-naked body and I smiled at his vulnerable state.
His snoring quieted as I snaked over to his bedside. I wandered over to him and sat down beside his sleeping body. I put a hand on his bare shoulder blade and ran my thumb up and down.
"Mmm…" he groaned. "Vannie?"
"No, it's Cory," I said.
"Oh," he yawned, stretching. He rolled over and opened his eyes. "Hi."
"Good morning. Sorry if I disturbed you," I chuckled.
"Oh no, don't worry about it. If you hadn't woken me up I probably would have slept till one." We shared a laugh and then Zac looked at me solemnly. "Are you okay?"
I sighed. "Yeah. I'm just going to go home and see what's going on. But, I came in to ask you what you want for breakfast. I have to repay you for saving me!"
"Nah, it's fine. That is what almost-family has to do for each other."
I frowned and laughed. "Almost family?"
"Did um, did Serena ever tell you why we really broke up?"
"Just that it wasn't going to work any more. She told me you wanted her to either stay in Oklahoma or move to California and not to go to school at Yale."
Zac sighed. "I had a feeling she wouldn't tell anyone the other part."
"What other part?"
"I asked her to marry me."
"WHAT?!"
Zac laughed. "Well, we had been together for like, four years with only one break up. We did pretty much everything a married couple would do if you catch my drift." I shuddered at the thought. "Except for the sneaking into each others houses. Anyway, I was too confident. She said no and I threw it back in her face and said that if we weren't going to be married then I was breaking up with her."
"She told me she broke up with you…"
"We broke up with each other. And then later I tried to get her back, but the damage was done," he sighed. "I'm still in love with her, you know."
"Do NOT pull a Taylor on me!" I exclaimed, and Zac laughed. "That was three years ago. She has a new boyfriend, you have a new girlfriend, just, no."
Zac's ears perked up. "What's this guy like?"
"Exactly like you without the long blonde hair. He's even a drummer." Zac rolled his eyes. "Just like Vanessa is probably just like Serena."
"What? No she's not!"
"Is she stubborn?"
"Yeah."
"Argumentative?"
"I guess so."
"Kinky?"
"That's none of your business!"
"Seriously, Zac. Is she?"
"Yes," he said sheepishly.
I inhaled and looked around. "Is her favorite meal breakfast?"
"Why the hell does that matter?"
"Zac. I'm a psychologist."
"Fine, yes it is."
"Let's see. Is she gregarious?"
"Well if you count walking up to random people and asking if they have any gray poupon extroverted…"
I raised an eyebrow. "Don't even want to know." Zac laughed. "Anyway, let's see. What's her favorite movie?"
"Oh some cheesy chick flick. I think it's, um, Ten Things I Hate About You."
I smiled knowingly. "Your girlfriend is Serena's twin, hun."
"What? No…"
"Yes."
"Fine then. What is Shawn's favorite liquor?"
"He doesn't drink," I smirked.
"Damn. What's his favorite band?"
"Some local band called Damn It," I frowned, shaking my head.
Zac laughed. "Ooookay. Not asking. Favorite food?"
"Tortellini and pesto."
"Damn, never even heard of that."
I gasped. "You haven't? Oh my God, Zac, I have to make that for you! You know what? We should double date! At my house! Really! We should!"
Zac considered it for a second. "Okay, sounds fun. Do you think I'd be betraying my brother though?"
"No. I think he might have finally realized that we're over." I had started getting nauseas, and now it was really starting to rage. I held a finger out and got up. "Hold that thought," I gagged, running for the bathroom.
When I was done, I rinsed my mouth out and turned, only to find Zac in the doorway. "Hi," I muttered.
"Are you okay?" he asked concernedly, placing a hand on my shoulder and guiding me out into the living room.
"Yeah," I sighed. "I don't know what's been wrong with me. But I'm sure I'll get over it."
Zac frowned. "You should probably go see the doctor."
"Nah. I'm a strong woman, my friend!"
Zac started laughing and I smacked him.
"Do you want me to take you home?" Zac asked after he stopped laughing.
"I still have to make you breakfast!"
A hesitant look crossed Zac's face. "Uh, no offence, but I don't really want someone who has been throwing up making my food. Another time," Zac said as he stood up. "Why don't you just wait here while I got throw some clothes on and brush my hair."
"And teeth, while you're at it!" I yelled after him.