"Taylor, you are not still in love with me."
"How do you figure that?"
"We haven't talked for like, seven years, Taylor!"
"So?"
"I've changed! You've changed. Besides, it isn't possible to be in love unless they return the feeling. And I can tell you I am not in love with you," I said matter-of-factly.
"That isn't true. I know a lot of people who are in love with someone who isn't in love back with them. I know people who are in love with fantasies, A.K.A. my fans."
"That's for sure. Anyway, you are not in love with me."
"Yes I am."
"No you aren't."
"Yes I am."
"No you aren't."
"No you aren't," Taylor grinned.
"Yes I -," I slipped. "Damn it, Taylor, don't play these games with me. Anyway, have you had any other girlfriends?"
"Yeah."
"How many?"
"Millions."
"Wow somebody has some ego problems," I muttered
"That isn't what I meant. I've had a lot of one-night stands. I've had twenty real girlfriends and only 2 that I was with for longer than a month."
"How long were you with those two?"
"One for two months, one for three. Both dumped me."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"They had to have given you some reason."
"Well, they didn't, okay?" Taylor stressed in an exasperated tone. I made a note to ask him again later. "Have you had any other boyfriends, besides that Shawn guy?"
"None of your business."
"No, really, have you?"
"No."
"Really? Huh. I thought you'd always be rakin' 'em in."
"No."
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Yeah."
"Shawn?"
"Yeah."
"Wow. Married?"
"No."
"Engaged?"
"Yes."
"Virgin?"
"No- hey! None of your business. Now stop pulling that stuff with me."
"Fine, fine," Taylor held up his hands in surrender. "I've gotten what I wanted to know."
I glared at him. "You belong on Jerry Springer."
"What?" he laughed.
"You're sick and twisted."
"Yes but see, why go on Jerry Springer when I have you to shape me up?"
I rolled my eyes. "Anyway! I will see you tomorrow." I got up with my pen and his chart and strode to the door. I felt a hand on my shoulder and felt my heart go up into my throat. I looked up at Taylor, who still towered over me. He smiled at me warmly. I ran out of the room, trying to conceal my tears that fell from the feeling I hadn't felt in seven years.
"Hi darling, it's mother!" I heard a shrill voice exclaim in my ear from the phone. I wiped my nose and sniffed.
"Hi mom."
"How are you, dear? You don't sound so good."
"I have a cold."
"Oh darling! Are you taking your vitamins?"
"Yes mom."
"Oh dear. Well, I have some wonderful news!"
I groaned inwardly. Wonderful news from my mother could only mean the opposite.
"And that would be?"
"The Hanson's are coming to the wedding! They'll already be out there with Taylor, so they can go!"
My face paled and feelings of fear, dread, and anger washed over me. "What?"
"Isn't that wonderful?"
"No! Mom, I hate Taylor and it takes all of my willpower not to bitch slap him at our sessions. Serena and Zac… well, are Serena and Zac. They aren't together anymore mom. It will be uncomfortable. Jessica will have to miss some classes at college, and Avery, Mackenzie, and Zoë will probably be preparing for finals. No mom. They can't come."
"It's up to Diana and Walker to decide what is best for their children. Don't forget the younger three are homes schooled."
"And also, Isaac and Anna will be uncomfortable, too. It's just a bad idea. And you have to stop planning my wedding! Okay? It's MY WEDDING! Not yours! You've already had two weddings! Stop trying to have a third!"
I was met by silence on the other end. I sighed. Finally she spoke. "Well. If that's how you feel. I will call Diana and tell her she and her family are uninvited."
I closed my eyes tightly and sighed, exasperated. "Don't do that."
"Well I really don't know what you want because-"
"Mom! It's fine. Do whatever you want, I don't really care," I sighed, rubbing my eyes. I could just see my mom's victorious smile.
"Okay so the wedding is four weeks from tomorrow. Oh I'm just so excited! So Serena is your maid of honor. Who is Shawn's best man, now, dear?"
"His best friend Philly."
"Philly?"
"Yeah, Philadelphia. He's awesome. Best guy I've ever met besides Shawn."
"Really. Who are your bridesmaids?"
"Anna, my assistant Dawn, and Reagan," I counted off.
"Now who's Reagan?"
"Reagan is my best friend from college. You know her, mom. She was my roommate freshmen year."
"Oh yes! Yes… yes… I remember her now. She was… unique."
I rolled my eyes. "She's just like me, mom."
"Like I said, unique."
I laughed and sighed. "Anyways, how's daddy?"
"Oh he's fine. He's actually downstairs playing on your old piano."
"Oh, awesome."
"Do you want to talk to your father?"
"No that's fine, I should be going anyway." I wiped my nose again.
"Okay dear, I will speak with you tomorrow."
"Mom?"
"Yes, darling?"
"Oh never mind. Talk to you later."
"Okay, bye dear."
We hung up the phone. I had desperately wanted to tell her to knock off the proper stuff, but it was useless. She hadn't always been like that- just a few years ago she started talking like she was Queen Elizabeth. It bugged the crap out of me.
I fell back onto my bed. Ever since the end of my appointment with Taylor, I couldn't think. My patients even noticed something was wrong with me. I just walked through my day like a zombie. Shawn wasn't home, thank goodness. Since he had come in late, he had to do part of the graveyard shift. So I could think in peace. It wasn't that I didn't love Shawn. I loved him more than one person could possibly love anyone. But that feeling that tickled my spine and tugged at my heartstrings when Taylor had touched me made me a nervous wreck.
I picked up the phone and began dialing. I needed someone to talk to, and Dawn didn't know enough of my history. Anna certainly couldn't know because she was Shawn's sister. So I called my last resource.
"Hello?"
"Hi Sari."
"Hey Cory! What's up big sis, how're you and the soon-to-be hubby doing?"
"Uh… okay I guess."
"Okay you guess? What happened? What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything," I sighed. "It's what Taylor did."
"Taylor?!" Serena exclaimed. I hadn't spoken to her for a couple of weeks since she was off at Yale, which was on the other side of the country, so she had no idea he was my patient.
"He's my patient, Serena. Mom told Diana where I was working, and Taylor was already there for treatment, but nobody could help him. So she asked that he be transferred to me."
"Oh, Cory…"
"Yeah. Anyway, he says he's still in love with me. He just won't shut up about it. And it's gets worse," I started crying. Serena groaned. "He touched my shoulder this afternoon and I felt something."
"WHAT?!"
"Yeah, I know. I mean I don't know if it's just an old flame or-"
"It's an old flame. Corrine, don't you go screwing up what you have with Shawn. Shawn is the perfect man. We would all die to have the man and the relationship you have. Don't mess it up. And if you did, for what? For some mental case who cheated on you with Miranda? Played you? Don't, Cory. Don't."
"I know, I know! But I can't help but wonder-"
"Don't wonder. Just don't think about it! It was just an old spark and means nothing. Now say that with me. It means nothing."
"It means nothing," I repeated dully.
"No, I want to hear it at the top of your lungs."
"IT MEANS NOTHING!" I screamed.
"There we go. Anyway, I have to finish studying for an exam, so ta-ta."
"'Kay."
"Bye, Cory. And remember- it means nothing."
"Right."
"Bye."
"Bye."