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Inner Hell

Come Back to Me

Still savoring the moment with Nick alone, Brian was washed with mixed feelings of happiness and sadness at the same time. He was happy to see his friend open his eyes but was worried that this was just another one of the things people in a coma does. It seemed when Nick made some type of milestone, the doctors would downplay them saying it was not uncommon for Nick to experience “intermittent reflexes.”

The nurse walked into the room and directly to the sink to wash his hands.

“Nick would say you’re anal about cleanliness,” Brian mused as he looked at Nick’s face.

“Can never be too cautious in this business,” Jim replied as he dried his hands off with a paper towel. “I take it Nick wasn’t much into soap and water?”

Brian quickly shook his head no. “No, he was like everyone else, I guess I was just remembering how Nick used to pick on Howie about being so germ phobic, washing his hands and stuff.”

Jim nodded and set about putting on latex gloves and after unlocking cupboards and drawers, he approached Nick’s bed with three syringes in his hand.

“Jim, what would you think if I told you that Nick opened his eyes and sorta looked at me?” Brian asked hesitantly, afraid that his question would be brushed aside quickly as if it wasn’t anything important.

“I would think that would be good news, why do you ask?” Jim replied as he rubbed a port with rubbing alcohol on the clear IV tubing.

“Because Nick did that a little bit ago.”

Jim stopped fussing with the IV line and looked at Brian and then at Nick’s face. “He looked at you? As in opened his eyes and looked directly at you?”

Brian nodded, not sure what would come out of the nurse’s mouth next.

“For how long?” Jim asked as he placed the syringes on the bed stand and started to walk around the bed towards Brian.

“It was only for a moment. I noticed him getting sorta irritated when AJ and the rest of the guys were in here and AJ was yelling---”

“Irritated? How?” Jim interrupted.

“He was making faces, ya know, like scrunching your face up, like this,” Brian demonstrated what Nick had been doing.

“And he opened his eyes during this too?”

“No, he just made the faces. He didn’t open his eyes until after they left and it was just me and him. I was talking to him and I happened to see his eyelids flutter and then he opened his eyes and it looked like he looked at me and then he closed them again.” Brian could feel the hope gather in his chest. He didn’t want to be too optimistic, but he couldn’t help it.

“Nothing since?”

Brian’s heart sank. This was a negative comment.

“No, nothing.”

Jim excused himself as he leaned around Brian and reached for Nick’s shoulder. Pushing the chair back, Brian stood up and kept his eyes focused on his friend’s face.

Gently pushing on Nick’s shoulder, Jim called out, “Nick? Nick, wake up.” He kept the pushing action and then glanced back at Brian. “It might have been reflexes Brian, but I want to make sure.”

Brian’s heart sank. There was that word again - reflexes. He hated that word more than anything else in the world right now. As he stood there, he mentally coached Nick to open his eyes. It was almost as if he felt that Nick had to do this to prove that Brian wasn’t crazy. Out of desparation of the moment, Brian clapped his hands loudly, causing Nick to jerk.

“Hey, wake up,” Jim encouraged and pushed harder on his young patient’s shoulder. After a few moments, he was rewarded with a pair of blue eyes staring at him.

Brian held his breath. He worried that this would only be a quick fleeting thing.

“Hi sleepyhead,” the nurse smiled. Nick continued to stare at Jim, no emotions displayed on his face, his eyes didn’t drift from the man’s face. Pulling a penlight out of the navy blue scrubs, Jim clicked it on and shined it into Nick’s eyes. Brian watched and prayed as the nurse moved it from side to side, waiting for Nick to follow the light with his eyes.

Wordlessly, Jim switched off the penlight and shoved it back into his pocket. Brian stood watching, waiting for the nurse to say that this was a positive sign - something - anything.

“This is good, right?” Brian finally asked in a hopeful voice.

The nurse walked over to the phone and punched in a pager number. “I’m not sure what to tell you, just wait until Dr. Bennington evaluates Nick.”

Brian looked back at Nick’s face, expecting his eyes to be closed again. Surprisingly, Nick’s eyes half open, staring at the spot where the nurse had been standing a few minutes before.

“How come he just looks at one spot?” Brian asked, worry filling his heart.

The nurse sighed. “Brian, you can’t get your hopes up but then again, you need to keep thinking positive. From my own experience with other patients, this is a common phenomenon. Nick is in a coma.”

“Is?” Brian croaked. “He’s awake, his eyes are open!”

“He’s still unresponsive so he’s still classified as comatose,” Jim replied quietly.

Brian could feel the frustration building, tears stinging his eyes. “But he opened his eyes when you pushing on him.”

“It can be re--”

“Flexes,” Brian finished the sentence for the nurse. Feeling defeated, he slumped down onto the chair.

The door was opened and Dr. Bennington breezed into the room, grabbing the chart off the counter. “What’s going on now?”

“Patient’s eyes are open,” the nurse replied.

Dr. Bennington glanced at Nick’s face, the nurse’s and then at Brian. “I need you to leave while I evaluate him,” he ordered as he gazed at Brian.

Puzzled at the doctor’s request, Brian stood up and quickly squeezed Nick’s hand - a ritual that Brian decided he would keep up no matter what. “I’ll be back,” he whispered.

Nick slowly closed his lids and then opened them halfway again. Brian hoped that Nick heard him and understood him.

Chapter 11