Howie shook his head as he watched as Kevin paced the floor in the private waiting room off from ICU. “Kev, you’re gonna wear the floor out, sit down,” he stated in a calm, soothing voice.
Kevin practically threw himself into the chair. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, folding his hands together and then sat back quickly, running a hand through his hair.
Brian glanced at Howie and the his cousin, debating on asking why he was so restless although he already knew the answer. As Kevin leaned forward again, Brian reached out and rubbed the man’s back.
Gripping the armrests, Kevin pulled imself out of the chair and smoothed the wrinkles from his pants. “I’m gonna go down and check in on Nick.”
“When you do, send AJ back here, he needs to take care of himself,” Brian advised.
“I know...I know,” Kevin drawled. “But the question is, will AJ take my advice?”
Kevin sighed as he left the room. Smiling, Brian shrugged his shoulders.
Kevin tucked his hands into his front pockets as he trudged down the dimly lit hallway towards the ICU wing. He had gone down this path several times over the course of the last seventeen hours, as well as the rest of the guys, taking their turns to check in on Nick, but AJ had remained in Nick’s room, refusing to leave.
Taking a deep breath, Kevin slowly pushed the door open to Nick’s room. AJ was sitting next to the bed, cradling Nick’s hand, Mtv on the television set that was perched on a ceiling platform in the far corner of the room.
“Any change?” Kevin asked as he approached the bed.
With his head bowed, AJ shook, “no.”
“Hey, why don’t you take a break, I’ll sit here with Nick,” Kevin offered.
AJ looked up, the trademark glasses off, his eyes red rimmed. “I can’t leave,” he stated, his voice barely audible, flat and emotionless.
“Yes you can, I’m sure Nick is probably getting sick of you sitting here crying,” Kevin joked, trying to lighten the mood.
AJ shook his head again.
“AJ, don’t do this to yourself, you’re not doing Nicky any favors by beating yourself up over this,” Kevin begged.
Staring at Nick, AJ replied. “If I hadn’t left him alone the first time, this wouldn’t have happened.”
Kevin clamped a hand on AJ’s shoulder. “God, it’s not your fault, it was an accident!”
“No, nothing you can say will make me change my mind, I should have never have left him, it’s my fault, it’s all my fault---”
AJ broke down, sobbing into Nick’s shoulder. Kevin reached out and put a hand on the man’s back, trying to comfort him. After a few moments, AJ finally managed to calm down and neither on spoke as they numbly looked at their younger brother.
Just as Kevin was beginning to ask AJ to take a break, the door swooshed open and Nick’s nurse entered the room, armed with various supplies. “Hi, I need to do some evals and bathe the patient, I’m going to have to ask you two to leave the room.”
Kevin managed a tight smile as he looked down at AJ. “Now you don’t have a choice but to leave. Come on, I’ll buy you some coffee.”
Reluctantly, AJ stood up, but before he left his friend, he leaned down and smoothed the hair off of Nick’s forehead. “I’ll be back in a bit buddy.”
AJ shifted uncomfortably in his chair as Nick’s family filtered into the private waiting room. His mind was wracked with guilt no matter how many times Kevin, Howie and Brian tried to convince AJ that it wasn’t his fault, he decided otherwise. Now he had Nick’s family to face and the lump that was stuck in his throat from holding back tears was burning.
As he looked at Aaron, his heart skipped a beat. Here was “Mini Nick” sitting directly across from him, a constant reminder of the happy-go-lucky kid that Nick had always been. Aaron and his sisters weren’t told of the specifics of what was wrong with Nick; none of the Carter’s had been told, but only to come to the hospital.
“This must be bad,” Angel sighed as she stared at her feet, tears starting to slide down her cheeks.
“Why do you say that sweetheart?” Brian asked in a soft voice.
“Cause all of you guys are here together in this room, you wouldn’t be staying here if it wasn’t bad,” she paused for a moment as she wiped the tears from her eyes, “and we wouldn’t be here either,” she added.
“What exactly wrong with Nick?” BJ questioned.
None of the men answered her question, they sat in an akward silence.
”Well?” BJ demanded icily.
“Let’s just wait until your parents come back to talk to you,” Kevin suggested.
“It is bad news!” Angel cried out.
The tension was thick in the air, each person was lost in their thoughts. Aaron stared straight ahead and slowly rocked his body back and forth, BJ held Leslie’s hand while Brian had a comforting arm around Angel.
When Nick’s parents entered the room, all expentant eyes were focused on the distraught looking couple. AJ suddenly sprung up from his seat and nearly knocked them over as he ran from the waiting room. Howie quickly excused himself as he left to go after AJ.
“It doesn’t look good,” Bob Carter managed to say before he broke down and started crying.
Kevin and Brian remained in the room while Nick’s parents explained his condition to the kids. After they finished, Brian added, “We have to remain hopeful. Things will work out.”
