*Upstairs*
“Is it that hard to see?!” He screamed again. I stayed quiet knowing he was right. “Is it? Katie please answer me?” He begged lowering his voice with tears coming to his.
“No.” I whispered looking at the ground tears flowing from my eyes. “It’s not.”
“Then what did I do Katie? Why are you so scared of me?” He asked.
“God Nick! That summer was the best summer I’d ever had because I finally had you as more than my friend. Then I left and everything changed.” I sobbed.
“Katie it’s ok. We’ll get through this.” He said starting to pull me into his arms.
“No Nick. Please, just don’t, just, leave me alone.” I said pushing out of his arms.
“Damn Katie I get so close and you push me away all over again!” He yelled.
“I’m sorry Nick! Ok I’m sorry! I don’t know what else to tell you!” I screamed back. *Back to square one. Yelling and screaming all over again. Guess I was more right then I thought about not being able to hold a civil conversation* I thought
“What the hell am I doing wrong?! Is there someone else?” He yelled.
“I can’t believe you!” I screamed upset “How could you ask something like that? Of course there’s no one else. There never can be because you’ve got me Nick! Hook, line and sinker! Heart, body, and soul! God you know that!”
“Then why can’t I get close to you? You say I have so much of you, all of you, then why Katelene? I only want to love you, to hold you and be close to you.” He said once again lowering his voice.
“You know we did ok for the first week. Then you got really busy and so did I. I came home from school one day and mom told me you’d called. I immediately pick up the phone and called you back but you were busy. I’d leave a message to have you call me back. I’d call 2 and 3 times a day Nick but you we’re always busy. After 2 weeks of leaving massages and you never calling back I gave up. I never knew whether you actually got the messages. I figured you’d probably found somebody else already. That hurt more than I’d ever let on. I never told anybody. Mom and Dad thought that I was fine and taking it best that was possible. Well you know what, I wasn’t!” I sobbed looking at the ground.
“Oh Katie I’m sorry. I never got the messages or I’d have called back no matter what I had going on. I’m sorry.” He cried. I looked up to see he was also crying. “It’ll be ok Kate… Oh god I’m sorry Katie. I didn’t mean to, I god that…” He stumbled. I laid two fingers over his lips to quiet him.
“How’d you know?” I asked.
“Kevin accidentally called you that the last day we were here that first week. You had been upstairs when it happened though. We had all asked why it was such a big deal. Kevin just said it was something we should ask you a couple years from then and to never call you that.” He stated.
“He was right, well back then anyway. You’re actually the first one that’s called me that, while I was around, in 7 years.” I stated.
“Can I ask why you don’t want anybody to call you that?” He asked.
“Well actually I let Aunt Ann call me that but she doesn’t. It was what Uncle Jerald always called me. He never called me Katie, it was always Kate or Katelene and you know I took him dying pretty hard. Well before we left the hospital Brian, Kevin, Harry, Tim, and Jerry had all been comforting me and all and Tim had called me Kate. By what they say I was pretty cold when I told ‘em not to call me that, then I just started bawling. So that would be why because it normally upsets me so much, but for some reason it didn’t upset me when you said it.” I stated
“I’m still really sorry. I’m glad you told me why though. I’ll be more careful so I don’t call you that.” He replied. I just nodded me head. “I won’t push this time and you don’t have to tell me but what else is bothering you?”
“I’m so scared for Brian it’s like I can feel it all weighing down on me all over again. It’s just I’m so worried about him, the game has really got me on edge, school isn’t really that hard I just wish it was over now, then trying to remember all the stuff for tour, and then you.” I stated. Nick raised his eyebrows questioning me. “I was worrying about what I was going to say, what I was going to do when I finally saw you again and I had no idea. Then you guys just popped back into my life all the sudden this morning and I wasn’t ready. So I pushed you away because I didn’t, don’t know what I’m supposed to say or do.” I explained finally broke down and now he knew everything. I sat down on the bed holding my head in my hands wondering what he was going to say next.
“Say what you feel. Act like you always do. Just because life gives you surprises doesn’t mean you should push away the people or things that have to do with that surprise.” He said, gently sliding his hand under my chin and making me look him in the eyes.
“Then I guess I should say I’m sorry.” I said.
“It’s ok.” He whispered giving me a small smile. “I love you.” He whispered.
“Can we start over?” He nodded his head and sat down on the bed beside me and cautiously pulled me into his arms. This time I let him hold me. I lay in his arms tears silently running down my face for pain I’d caused him, for the fear I had, and for the love I now knew would always be there, now matter how many times I pushed him away.
*10:45 am*
*Nick’s POV*
“Come in.” I whispered trying not to wake Katie who was lying in my arms asleep.
“I see you guys are a little better.” Brian whispered smiling after coming into the room. I nodded my head.
“A little we’ve got a long ways to go though.” I whispered.
“Yea you do. Anyway I wanted to check on you guys make sure you hadn’t killed each other” He chuckled. I smiled and shook my head.
“No we didn’t.”
“Yea I see that. I was also going to tell you lunch will be in an about an hour. So make sure your up.” He stated.
“Ok, Would you mind coming and getting us if we’re not down there by 11:50?” I asked.
“I don’t mind. I leave you guys alone now.” He smiled and exited the room not shutting the door. I looked down at the angel lying in my arms. The angel that was so scared and vulnerable yet so strong at the same time, sometimes a little too strong for her own good. She was my fallen angel, but she just needed somebody to help her up.
“I love you, my fallen angel.” I whispered, softly kissed her forehead and went to sleep.
*11:55am*
*Katie’s POV*
I was still half-asleep when I felt lips on mine. Lips that we’re oh so familiar. ‘Nick’ my brain registered. I kissed him back and about 30 seconds later he pulled away.
“What a way to wake up.” I sighed. I opened my eyes to stare into the face of the man that had awakened me with his beautiful ocean blue eyes twinkling with laughter and his pouty pink lips in a smirk. “You think that’s pretty funny hey?”
“Yea saying as how that was a last resort. I’ve been trying to wake you for the past oh,” He stated his voice ringing with a little bit of laughter and looked at his watch “7 minutes.”
“Sorry.” I replied with a small smile.
“It’s ok I kinda like waking you up that way.” He smirked.
“Yea so why’d you wake me up anyway?” I asked
“Nick if you don’t have her butt up in 2 minutes I’m coming up there and waking her my self! I’m starving!” Aj yelled up the steps.
“Never mind.” I said, as we laughed.
“Come on let’s not keep his majesty waiting.” He said getting up.
“Yea and I thought you were bad.” I giggled getting up.
“Hey!” He exclaimed laughing. He suddenly walked over and picked me up cradling me in his arms.
“Aaahhh Nick put me down!” I screamed laughing and tightly wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Nope.” He said walking out the door.
“Well I might as well enjoy it then.” I replied and rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes.
“Katie we’re down stairs.” He stated right before we turned the corner to the dinning room.
“But I don’t wanna get up.” I whined tightening my arms around his neck.
“Come on I wanna eat” He laughed.
“Well ok.” I laughed letting go. He sat me down and I started to walk to the dinning room. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him.
“After this we need to talk. And I promise this time there won’t be any yelling.” He said.
“Ok. Now let’s go I can hear Aj mumbling about how hungry he is.” I replied. He nodded and we walked into the dinning room.
“Took you long enough!” Aj exclaimed when we walked in.
“So sorry your majesty.” I stated laughing with everyone else and sat down.
“Unreal girl, you are unreal.” He laughed.