I smiled and sauntered up to him.
“You lie Brady. You don’t know shit about that summer. For one Josh was in Puerto Rico all summer. Two I never really left the house except to work and to go do something with Haylie and Sarah every once in awhile. I especially never went to any parties.” I stated.
“Oh trying to cover that sweet little ass of yours huh Katie?” He asked sarcastically.
“No she’s not.” Josh said stepping up. “I had been in Puerto Rico about a week on the 20th. It was a real nice try though Brady.” He smirked. Suddenly I got and idea if Brady really had people watching me he’ll definitely know the answer to this question.
“So Brady if you know everything so well, who was here while Sarah, Haylie, and Josh were all gone for the summer?” I asked.
“Blondie over there I’m sure was here.” He replied.
“Wrroong.” Aj said in a game show type voice. “I was with her. I was with her a lot when I wasn’t on tour. I spent more time with her than you could ever dream.”
“Yea right.” Brady chuckled.
“Oh no Brady he’s right. He was more or less the best friend I had during that time. He didn’t care if I called at 2 in the morning while he was on tour and dead tired but yet he always listened for as long as I needed to talk.” I told adding some attitude to my voice. He scowled at me and was about to raise his hand to hit me when suddenly somebody grabbed it.
“Not so fast there Brady.” Steve said handcuffing him. As he was being read his rights I could suddenly feel his hands all over me. My stomach turned and I quickly ran up the stairs. I made it to my bathroom in time just to throw up everything I’d eaten all day.
*10 minutes later*
I was still sitting in my bathroom leaning against the bathtub. Steve had been kind enough as to come up and question me so I didn’t have to go down there. I sat there for another 5 minutes thinking about what Brady had said. I finally felt I had the strength to get up. I slowly got up, washed my mouth out and brushed my teeth. I then slowly walked to my bed, lay down, and closed my eyes trying to get the splitting headache I had to go away. I hadn’t been lying there but a couple minutes when there was a small knock on my door and the person entered.
“Katie.” I heard Nick say quietly.
“Yea?” I stated opening my eyes and standing beside him were Aj, Kevin, Howie, Harry, and Brian.
“Do you mind if we come in?” He asked. I shook my head then told them to come in. I sat up at the head of the bed and since my bed was queen sized, they each sat down on it somewhere making somewhat of a circle.
“You ok?” Aj asked. I just nodded my head. We sat in silence for a couple more minutes before I got tired of the silence.
“Ok I know ya’ll didn’t come up here just to sit here. What is it you want to talk about?” I asked.
“Was Aj playing along with your game or was he really here for other than Thanksgiving?” Brian asked.
“And you couldn’t have asked Aj this?” I asked curiously.
“He wouldn’t tell us.” Kevin replied.
“Yea Aj was here.” I answered.
“Katie how come you couldn’t call me or Kevin but yet you can call Aj?! Kevin and I are family!” Brian exclaimed.
“My God Brian maybe it’s the way you react!” I exclaimed.
“Huh?” He asked confused.
“Look at the way you just reacted knowing it was Aj I called and not you. You totally freaked.” I replied. Brian was about to respond but Howie, being the peacemaker he is, spoke up first.
“Whoa guys calm down.” Howie said. “Now Katie I’m kinda curious myself, what does Brian’s reactions have to do with why you didn’t tell him?”
“Do you know how many words I’d have gotten out of my mouth before he jumped in? Before he was lecturing me over it. I’d have been able to say ‘Brian there’s some stuff I need to tell you. Some stuff has happened and now I’m pregnant.’ My god that’s all I’d get out before he burst and then before I got the chance to tell him anything he’d be in some lecture about safe sex! Harry, Kevin, Tim, and Jerry are all the same way. Although Harry, Jerry, and Tim couldn’t say anything because they knew everything first hand.” I tried to explain. By now I felt like telling them all to get out and just crying my eyes out.
“Ok.” Howie said softly. “That explains why you didn’t call them but…” He was cut off by Kevin then.
“No offense to you or anything Aj. Why Aj Katie?” He asked quietly. “I mean why not Howie, Sarah, Haylie?”
“Well ok first of all I didn’t call Howie, cause… I don’t I guess I’d just feel bad for waking him up in the middle of the night as many times as I did Aj. Sarah and Haylie they always wanted to give their advice and that’s great but they wouldn’t just simply listen. And for some reason I wasn’t comfortable talking to them. It just seemed like everything that I told them they were going to tell somebody else. Although I really doubt they did.” I told. I glanced at Aj and took a deep breath then continued. “But the I knew Aj wasn’t telling anybody he kept my secret for well 10 months now just like he promised he would. I could call at 2 am and he’d never care. I’d talk for hours and he never cared. I’d wake from a nightmare and call him. He’d calm me down one way or another make it to where I could go back to sleep then most of the time I’d be ok through the rest of the night. He’d come back a weekend here a weekend there. He was a true friend, and brother to the end.” I finished. Aj smiled slightly and Brian looked like I had just stabbed him. Tears came to Brian’s eyes as he spoke. I didn’t realize it then but everybody but Brian got up and silently walked out the door.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t trust me the way you could trust Aj. I’m sorry I do more talking than I do listening and I’ll work on listening better. I’m sorry I’m not always here for you like I promised I would be. I’m so sorry for anything you did to make you think you couldn’t trust me.” I stated a couple tears falling from his eyes.
“No Brian I’m sorry.” I stated beginning to cry. “You’d have known if I hadn’t been so scared. I was scared you’d be disappointed in me. That was never something I could handle. All my life I always did everything I could to make sure weren’t disappointed in me. So much of the time you were the only one I could turn to.” I explained looking at my hands as the tears fell from my eyes. He slowly put one of his hands on top of mine.
“Katie look at me please.” I looked up at him and he continued. “Katie I could never be disappointed in you for something like what happened. You are right I probably would’ve jumped into some lecture before you could explain. I only do it because I want what’s best for you. I’ve realized though that I should be a big brother and not a father. I should listen to you and give advice when you want and leave the lectures and everything to Mom and Dad and I’m sorry.” He said
“It’s ok Bri” I smiled slightly.
“Ok now how ‘bout some ice cream and maybe a game of b-ball if you’re up to it?” He asked.
“Actually the ice cream sounds really good but I’ll have to take a rain check on the game till tomorrow.” I answered. “Besides you shouldn’t be playing basketball anyways.”
“You’re as bad as Mom.” He laughed getting up.
“Yea yea let’s go.” I stated standing up. *Och oh God the bruises I’m gonna have in the morning* I thought.
“You ok?” Brian asked.
“Yea fine.” I replied giving him a small smile. *God Katie you shouldn’t lie to him*
“Yea right Katie I don’t believe you. After 17 years sweetheart believe me I know you, probably better than I know myself.” He said. I was about to speak up but he did before I got the chance. “You don’t have to tell me Katie. It all comes out eventually. When you feel you need to tell me and when the time is right then you’ll tell me and not before that. You’re your own person Katie that’s the way you’ve always been.” He said.
“Thanks B.” I smiled. He smiled back then grabbed my hand and pulled me down the stairs with him.
“What are you doing?” Mom asked curiously when we walked into the kitchen laughing like idiots about nothing at all.
“Don’t look at me I wouldn’t know.” I laughed sitting down between Nick and Kevin.
“What kind of ice cream Katie?” Brian asked standing in front of the freezer.
“Don’t care whatever works.” I replied.
“Mint chocolate chip ok?”
“Yea that’s fine.” I replied. He went on to ask if anybody else wanted some and everybody except Mom and Dad did and they went to bed. (An: Everybody is the other four guys, LeighAnne, and Kristin.)
“Hey Kev come with me real quick would you?” I asked while Brian and Nick dished up ice cream. He nodded and followed me into the den. I couldn’t tell whether he was upset with me or not. I slowly sat down feeling kinda weak and my stomach was really hurting for some reason.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a disappointment to you…” That was all I got out before he interrupted.
“A disappointment Katelene? My god I couldn’t be more proud of you.” He said after placing his hand under my chin making me look at him. “From what I’ve heard you couldn’t have done better. You kept him Katie, even though he came from something you never wanted. Aunt Jackie said you never even thought of giving him up in anyway. You were gonna keep him and nobody was changing your mind. That’s amazing Katie especially at 16. You’re so strong Katie.”
“I’m not that strong Kevvy.” I stated my eyes starting to gloss over with tears. “I’m not even close to that strong not anymore.” A couple tears ran down my face and I quickly brushed them away.
“But Katie you are that strong and don’t get…” He started to say but I interrupted him.
“How did I get through Uncle Jerold’s death Kevin?” I asked him.
“Well at first you tried just keeping to yourself. Then you got through it by talking to mostly Brian and me.” He replied.
“Exactly. I tried talking to Sarah and Haylie once but they just don’t really seem to try and listen they just give out the advice. I haven’t called Aj because I felt so bad about dumping all my problems on him before. Then Mom and Dad, they just won’t talk. I don’t know whether they’re ashamed or whether it’s just that hard for them, but I’ll tell you now they have no idea what hard is. Sure Brian almost died when he was five but that was almost. They never actually lost him. They’ve never lost a child Kevin and even if Brian hadn’t of made it there’s a big difference between 5 years and a week. I know I probably sound so selfish but I can’t do it by myself anymore.” With that last sentence I let the tears silently cascade down my cheeks. Kevin wrapped his arms around me and let me cry on his shoulders. “I’m sorry.” I stated pulling away.
“It’s ok. I’m always here if you need me.” He smiled gently and brushed my tears away with his thumbs.
“I’d actually meant to apologize for not telling you about everything earlier. You know about not calling and telling you and everything.” I said.
“It’s ok. Don’t worry about it you atleast had somebody here. It wasn’t me or Brian but it was somebody and Aj does care for you. You’re the little sister he never had.” Kevin said.
“Kev, Kat get in here!” Brian yelled from the kitchen.
“Yea I guess we better get in there before Brian has our heads.” I smiled. Kevin smiled and agreed. I quickly looked in the mirror that was hanging on the wall right beside the entrance to the den.
“Don’t worry you can’t tell you were even crying.” Kevin stated then pulled me into the kitchen. I smiled and we all sat down to eat.
*A couple hours later; 12:30am*
After we were done eating we had decided to watch movies for awhile. I had invited Sarah back over and the 9 of us had watched The Mummy and had just finished Silence of the Lambs. (AN: Just so you all know The Mummy didn’t actually come out till 1999.)
“Oh God I’m glad that’s over” I stated getting up and rewinding it.
“I agree that was one nasty movie.” Leigh said. Kristin and Sarah voiced their agreements.
“I have to admit that one was kinda gruesome.” Nick said standing up. Everybody agreed with him.
“Well I don’t know about ya’ll but I’m going to bed.” Howie said and headed upstairs.
“Us too.” Brian said and he and Leigh followed Howie up the stairs.
“Good night.” The rest of us told the three of them.
“Yea I think Kris and I are just gonna crash on the pull out couch in the living room.” Kevin said. I nodded and they headed to the family room.
“Sar you can just crash on the couch or somethin’ if you want.” I told her.
“I think I’ll probably do that.” She stated.
“Ok well I’ll get you some blankets…” I started.
“Don’t worry about it. Go to bed Katie I know where everything is.” She said.
“Well ok. I’ll see ya in the morning girl. Night J.” I said.
“Night.” They replied. Nick and I walked out of the den and headed for the stairs.
“Go on upstairs Nick and I’ll be right there. I’m gonna tell Kev and Kris good night.” I stated He nodded and headed up the stairs.
“Hey Kev” I quietly stated peaking my head into the dark living room.
“Yea Katie.” He questioned coming and standing out in the hall.
“Thank you.” I stated. “Thank you for everything you’ve done all my life.”
“Your welcome Katie. I’m just doing what I would do for a little sister and to me that’s what you are.” He smiled. I smiled back and then hugged him.
“Goodnight Kevvy.” I whispered.
“Night Kat. I love you.” He replied.
“Love you too.” I said. He turned and walked back into the living room and I went upstairs. I quietly opened my bedroom door to find Nick lying there peacefully sleeping. I quietly shut the door and grabbed a t-shirt out of my closet before walking into my bathroom. I quickly stripped and was about to but on the shirt when I realized I had actually grabbed one of Nick’s. *Oh well* I thought and quickly slipped it on. I brushed my teeth, then brushed my hair before shutting the light off and walking back into my room. I carefully slipped into bed trying not to wake Nick. Suddenly I felt arms wrap around my waist and pull me down. I started to scream and a hand covered my mouth. I heard Nick quietly chuckling from beside me. I moved his hand and turned over.
“Damn Carter you scared the crap out of me!” I quietly exclaimed giggling.
“Sorry didn’t mean to.” He said bursting into more fits of laughter.
“Yea right you meant to scare the crap out of me.” I replied.
“So maybe I did but I couldn’t turn down a chance like that. Especially when you thought I was asleep.” I replied trying to calm his laughter.
“Yea yea Carter it was real funny.” I replied.
“Ok I’m sorry.” He stated taking a deep breath as he lay down. I smiled to myself glad to have him back and laid my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and I put one of my arms around his waist pulling myself closer to him. We quietly lay there for a couple minutes before the silence was broken.
“You’re not mad at me are you? For everything that happened, because you didn’t know, because…” I was saying before he softly placed to fingers on my lips.
“You listen to me Katelene Honesty, I could never, never be mad at you for something like that. I love you that will never change you are everything to me. I wasn’t around when all of that happened and I regret it. If I would’ve been there maybe I’d have known. I don’t expect to know every detail about you although something that big I figured I’d know about but I can see why you didn’t tell anybody that wasn’t there.” He said.
“Yea. Thanks for… understanding I guess. Just thanks for being you.” I stated. He smiled gently.
“We better get to sleep you have school in the morning.” He stated.
“Oh it doesn’t matter if I go or not. The teachers all know what’s going on with Brian. I have all my homework for the week and I’ve already taken my finals. Most of the homework’s even done.” I replied.
“Wow. You’re nothing short of amazing.” He smiled.
“Yea well I’ll do anything for Brian and I wanted to spend as much as I could with him. He’s been there for me so many times. Now it’s my turn to repay him.” I said looking at the ceiling.
“You ok?” He asked softly.
“Yea just worried.” I replied not moving my eyes. I felt Nick nod his head from beside me before rolling over and turning out the light. I sighed and closed my eyes.
“Katie are you ok?” Nick whispered in my ear. He was so close I could feel his breath hitting the side of my face.
“I’m fine.” I replied.
“Katie don’t lie to me.” He said desperation in his voice. I laid there completely silent. “Katie please, talk to me.” He whispered a couple minutes later.
“I’m just worried about Brian. I just keep seeing Brian in the hospital when he was sick one time when I was like 5. I see my Uncle Jerold so sick and Tommy in that incubator and God… they all mean so much to me. I can’t lose Brian too.” I said tears beginning to fall from my eyes.
“Katie you’re not going to lose him. Sure this isn’t some simple procedure but Brian’s strong, he’ll make it through this.” He stated pulling me into his arms.
“I know. I think it’s just that I’ve slowed down enough for everything that happened today to catch up to me.” I whispered.
“I didn’t realize it had all been that bad.” He replied.
“Nick, Brady getting near me is bad. Something always happens. And now you guys know about Tommy and what Mrs. Ferguson said. What so many people have said. It just… sometimes I just have to let it all out.” I cried. He pulled me closer to his chest and ran his hand through my hair. He didn’t say a word but he didn’t need to. I continued crying, eventually crying myself to sleep. The last thing I heard was Nick gently whispering to me.
“I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. But I promise I’ll be here from now on. I love you.”