This story is rated PG. Now the legal mumbo jumbo. I in no way know the Backstreet Boys or anyone else that knows them. This story is fiction, NOT TRUE. It is not authorized by the band, their managment, or record company. This story is copyrighted so please don't take it or any of the ideas without asking.
©2000-2001
Stacks of papers, my name in bold print Yours beside it on this document Too many lawyers, too many angry words So much we didn’t say, so much we never heard Do you remember When I was all you were living for Back before the war
Chorus
Back before the broken vows The shattered trust, this empty house When nothing really mattered but us Back before we climbed too high My dreams were yours; your dreams were mine Back before we fell so out of touch Back before the war
Children’s laughter trailing down the hall Tiny footsteps, God how I miss it all It’s not as simple as who’s right and who’s to blame How could we fly so high to be shot down in flames Do you remember When you were all that I was living for Back before the war
Repeat Chorus
Stacks of paper, I guess this is were we sign Strange how your signature so closely matches mine I never dreamed out love would come to this Avoiding each other’s eyes still craving your tenderness Do you remember When love was all that we were living for Back before the war Back before the war
(Back before the war by Reba McEntire)
“Hey Nicky where you going?” I asked my husband as he walked towards the garage door that was in the kitchen with keys in hand.
“Out” He answered shortly.
“Nick…” I started to say but was interrupted.
“It’s none of your fuckin’ business Kelly.” He sneered.
“Well so sorry all I did was ask.” I said sarcastically.
“Stop your god damn asking then.” He said angrily.
“Sorry. Last time I checked you were my husband and I atleast deserved to know where you’re going.” I said angrily.
“Yea your freakin’ husband but I never should have married you!” He yelled. I about broke into tears right then and there. In his blue eyes I could see the regret but I knew he wouldn’t apologize. “I’m leaving now.” He said and walked out the door. I slowly sat back down at the kitchen table. I rested my elbows on my knees and buried my head in my hands as the tears started flowing down my face.
“Mom.” I heard Ryan, our 16-year-old son, say.
“Yea?” I asked quickly drying my tears.
“Are you ok?” He asked kneeling down in front of me and laying his hand on my knee.
“Yea baby I’m fine.” I smiled. Ryan was our oldest child and he was a lot like his father used to be.
“You sure? I heard what Dad said. You know he didn’t mean it.” He said.
"I know your father didn’t mean it Ryan. He says a lot of things when he’s angry. And yes I’m sure I’m fine.” I said.
“How come he gets angry so much anymore? He didn’t used to be like that. He used to love you. He used me and he used to love Kylee.” He said his eyes becoming glossy.
“Oh Ryan sweetie, he does love and he loves your sister and he loves me. It’s just, I guess he, he feels kinda trapped. We got married so young I think he feels like he’s missing a lot. I’m not sure about him. Your father was always kinda hard to read sometimes. Now I’m sure there are better subjects to talk about. Didn’t you have a date with Gina?” I asked.
“Oh crap I forgot. I’m gonna be late picking her up.” He exclaimed standing up. I smiled and giggled a little at him.
“Do you need me to stay home or anything Mom?” He asked.
“No. Go on get outta here go have some fun.” I told him gently pushing him to the door.
“Ok ok I get it.” He laughed grabbing his leather jacket. “I love you Mom.” He said kissing my cheek and opening the door.
“I love you too Ryan.” I smiled and he walked out the door shutting it behind him.
“Mom!” I heard Kylee shout from her bedroom upstairs.
“What?” I hollered back walking up the stairs.
“Is Cassie here yet?” She asked.
“Nope.” I replied from outside her door. I knocked then slowly opened the door.
“Wow you look nice.” I said. I should have waited till she turned around so I could see the front of her before I said that. “Kylee Rayanne.” I scolded.
“Mom come on.” She whined. She was dressed in a pair of skintight dark blue jeans, and a tight yellow low cut shirt. She did look nice and she didn’t look like a slut or anything but she was only 14.
“Kylee your 14. I’m not letting you out of the house like that. You can wear the pants. Change shirts.” I told her.
“Ok.” She whined. “Can you pick out something that would look nice. Preferably bright.” She said. I smiled and nodded my head going over to her closet. I quickly found the perfect shirt. It was a pink tank top that was kinda low cut and it was tight but yet loose enough to leave something to the imagination.
“Here try this.” I said handing it to her.
“Oh I think it might work.” She exclaimed and ran into the bathroom to change. “Hey Mom can you grab my leather pants you know the ones that are kinda loose?” She asked from the bathroom.
“Sure.” I replied. I grabbed them out of her closet then knocked on her bathroom door. She stuck her hand out and I laid the pants in her hand.
“Thanks.” She pulled her hand back in and shut the door
“Your welcome.” I smiled. She came out a couple minutes later dressed.
“So how do I look?” She smiled turning in a circle.
“Beautiful. Now that’s how a fourteen your old should dress.” I smiled.
“Thanks Mom.” She smiled back. Suddenly a horn honked.
“Oh that’s Cassie I gotta go.” She exclaimed and grabbed her purse.
“Ok so let me here the run down on what you’re doing first.” I said as we walked down the stairs.
“Well first were going to Josh’s birthday party and don’t worry his parents will be there. Then Cassie, Kayla, Michelle, Heather and I are all going to Cassie’s house for the night.” She said.
“Ok then I’ll see ya later.” I told her as she opened the door.
“Yea see ya, love ya.” She said running towards the mini van in the driveway.
“Love ya too.” I yelled and waved. I shut the door when the vehicle pulled out of the driveway. I went into the den and turned the tv on flopping down on the leather couch. There was some movie on so I watched that and fell asleep minutes later. I don’t know how long it was before I heard the kitchen door slam startling me out of my sleep. I knew Nick was home so I turned the tv off and walked into the kitchen but not before checking my watch to see it was 12:30 am.
“Nice to see you finally came home” I said.
“Yea whatever.” He said sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs and putting his feet on the table.
“Get you feet off the table please Nick.” I stated going over to the fridge and grabbing the note that was on it. He sighed and rolled his eyes and put his feet on the ground. “Can you be anymore childish?” I asked reading the note. ‘Mom, went to Jeremy’s. I’m gonna stay the night. Don’t worry there’s no girls. I would’ve told you but I didn’t want to wake you. Love you, Ryan.’
“Do you purposely try to piss me off?” He asked through his teeth standing up.
“No.” I said looking him in the eye. “Do you purposely mean to cheat on me?”
“What?! What do you mean?!” He yelled.
“You think I’m an idiot Nick. Well I’m sorry I’m not. Remember I’m your wife. I’m the one that makes your meals, washes you cloths, and I’m the one that stays up waiting for you when you go out every night!” I yelled.
“I don’t get it.” He said. I knew he was just playing dumb.
“I’m not deaf nor am I dumb and I’m blind either.” I said and walked up to him. “I can see the make up on your shirt.” I gently lifted the collar of his shirt. “I can smell the cheap perfume. If that’s not a dead give away the lipstick you didn’t totally get off is.” I stated and gently wiped the lipstick from his lips with my thumb. Tears then started to run down my cheeks. “I find the phone numbers. I hear the phone calls. I’m not dumb. Maybe a little stupid because for some reason I’m still with you no matter how much pain you’ve put me through.” I stated my voice never wavering ever though I was crying.
“I’m sorry Kelly, I’m so sorry but I think it’s time I what’s right or what I think is right.” He said as we sat down.
“And what would that be?”
“I want a divorce Kelly. I’ve hurt you so much I don’t want to do it anymore. I know this hurts more than anything I’ve ever done but I need to be free. I need to be able to live my life the way I want to with out hurting anybody anymore than I already have.” He said. A solitary tear ran down his face and he quickly brushed it away.
“If that’s what’ll make you happy Nick. I love you enough to let you go. As long as that’s what’ll make you happy.” I stated avoiding his eyes.
“It’s what’ll make me happy.” He stated.
*End Flashback*
That was the night that changed my life. There had been a lot of words, a lot of angry exchanged between that day a week ago and now. The kids had been furious and upset with Nick. Ryan is still more pissed than he is upset. Kylee more upset than she is anything else. They asked why I went with the idea to get a divorce, why I didn’t try to make it work. I had told them it took two to make a marriage work and working this marriage alone. I had also told them that I’d do anything to make Nick happy and if that meant letting him go then that’s what I do. Well now here I sat our lawyers office with a stack of papers in front of me. We had given the kids the choice as to where the wanted to live, whether it was with Nick or me. I felt kinda bad because they had both picked me. They were still going to get to see Nick whenever they wanted and he could come over at any time.
“Here you go Nick, sign on the dotted line.” Our lawyer said handing the papers to Nick. He quickly signed on the dotted line and then handed it to me. I looked down at the papers. I looked at them as if studying them. My name was in bold print and his was right beside it. I looked down at where he had signed and slowly set the pen on the paper where I was supposed to sign. I slowly signed the paper. I looked at our signatures, they matched almost perfectly like we used to. I handed the papers back to our lawyer.
“Well that’s it. You both are free to leave. You are no longer married.” He said. I nodded and stood up walking out the door with Nick.
“Your children said to tell you that they went out to the car to wait for you.” The secretary said. I nodded my head and Nick and I got in the elevator. I looked down at the floor wishing the elevator would hurry up. We were avoiding each other’s eyes, that was easy to tell. Though we were divorced I still craved his love, his tenderness. I was almost wishing he’d pull me into his arms and comfort me and that I’d wake up and this would all be a bad dream. The elevator dinged signaling we were back on the ground floor. We both quickly walked out and walked outside to our cars.
“You’re just a slut! You split our family up!” I heard Ryan yell when we stepped up. I looked up seeing him yelling at a girl that looked to be in her early 20’s.
“Ryan Thomas!” I yelled picking up my pace to get to him faster.
“But Mom…” He started to say.
“Car now.” I stated firmly.
“You’re defending her! I…” He started to say again.
“I’m not defending her! Car now!” I yelled firmly. He nodded and climbed in the car.
“Look Nick let’s get something straight ok?” I stated.
“Don’t you talk to him like that!” The girl standing beside him exclaimed.
“Look you little blonde whore I’ll talk to him however the hell I want. If you have a problem with that little thing then you’d have a hell of a big problem with some of the things that have been said. Don’t get in the middle of this.” I said with plenty of attitude.
“God Kelly don’t start.” Nick said angrily.
“Ok Nick if you’ve never heard anything I’ve said the past 17 years you better hear this. Don’t you ever bring her into my house. If you’re coming to see the kids or coming to get the kids you better leave her home because she is not welcome. She upsets the kids I don’t need that. When you have the kids you better sure as hell make sure you’re there with them. She is to in NO WAY raise our children.” I said.
“Fine whatever. Let’s go Robin.” He said putting his arm around her and opening the door to the car for her.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you Ryan.” I said when we got in the car.
“It’s ok Mom don’t worry about it.” He smiled. I smiled back and started the car and drove home. Once we got home I went into the den and crashed on the couch while the kids went upstairs. Neither Nick or I had wanted the old house so we sold it. Each of us got half the money and we each bought a new house. I slowly drifted to sleep wishing all of this were a dream.
“Mom.” I heard Ryan whisper gently shaking me. “Mom.” He said a little louder this time.
“What?” I answered opening my eyes.
“Dad’s on the phone.” He said. I nodded my head and he handed me the cordless phone and then went back upstairs. I looked around and realized we were in our old house the one we had all lived in together when we were a family.
“Hello?” I answered
“Hey baby!” Nick said cheerfully.
“Nick?” I said confused.
“Yea why what’s wrong?” He asked.
“Nothing.” I said.
“Ok.” He said a little confused. “Anyway I called to say I was on my way home so I should be there in about 10 minutes.”
“Ok I’ll see ya then.” I replied.
“I love you.” He said sincerely.
“Love you too.” I replied and we hung up. I looked down at my left hand to see my 3-karat princess cut engagement ring and my wedding band that had small diamonds and garnets set in it. I sat there staring at it till I heard the door open.
“Baby you ok?” Nick asked coming into the den.
“Yea why?”
“You look really confused.” He said. I looked at his left hand and seen his wedding band that matched mine.
“My god it must have been a dream.” I whispered.
“What must have been a dream?” He asked. I was about to answer him but the kids came in.
“Were leaving now.” Ryan said.
“Where you going?” Nick asked.
“I’m taking Kylee to stay at Heather’s for the night and I’m staying at Jeremy’s.” Ryan answered. Nick looked at Ryan a little suspiciously. “Don’t worry no girls their Dad I promise.” Ryan laughed.
“Ok.” Nick chuckled.
“Kylee?” I questioned.
“Not to worry no boys I promise.” She said.
“Ok good now get out of here.” I teased.
“No problem.” They both said and left.
“So what was a dream?” Nick asked again.
“God it was more like a nightmare.” I stated.
“So what was it about?”
“It was terrible. You wanted to get a divorce cause you wanted to be free so you didn’t have anything to worry about and you’d been cheating on me with a girl that was like 22. It was just terrible.” I said.
“Now I why in the world would I want to divorce you?” He smiled chuckling a little. “I’ve been with you for 20 years 17 of those years I’ve been married to you and I don’t ever plan on leaving you till the day I die and believe me no 22 year old is gonna get a hold of me.” He said.
“Oh that’s good. You’ll always be mine. My strange and crazy husband.” I said. “You know maybe some 22 year old should take you.” I laughed teasing him.
“Hey! Now you’ll pay for that one.” He laughed and kissed me passionately.
“If this is the way I have to pay I’ll have to do stuff like that more often.” I murmured. He chuckled a little and picked me up caring me upstairs.
THE END