I took my time getting up to the room, walking the stairs really slow and counting each step as I went. The door to my room was slightly open and when I walked in I had to do a double take. Sitting in the middle of the floor between the two beds was a lady in a bright green leotard in some funky ass position with her feet and legs all crazy like some circus performer and right next to her was Max imitating her moves down to the letter. I was guessing this was meditation time when they both started chanting.
"Ommm, ommmm, Oh hey Nick, ommmm, come and join us, ommmmm." Max said as I walked in and closed the door behind me. I must have looked horrified because the lady giggled a little and rolled out from her position into a regular cross-legged position on the floor.
"Hello Nick I am Alice the yoga and meditation guide at Serenity Cabin, but everybody calls me Breezy."
Of course they did, why didn’t that surprise me?
"Hey. I’m Nick but everybody calls me Sunshine." I replied mocking her for my own amusement.
"Nick you never told me that!" Max said rolling out his own position.
"Well Sunshine you will probably want to change into more comfortable clothing for meditation time." Breezy said as I passed them laughing into my hand.
"I think I will pass."
"It isn’t optional."
Shit. I mean shoot. Hey wait I didn’t say that out loud I could still swear in my head if I wanted to. "Fine." I said walking back to the middle of the room and plopping myself down with Breezy and Max. "What I am wearing will suit me fine."
"Great!" Breezy said with a big smile.
"Great!" Max said with a bigger smile.
"Great." I said with the biggest smile, so big I thought my cheeks would pop. I was determined to beat them at their own game of happy time.
* * *
An hour later I was lying on my bed face down in massive pain from head to toe from using muscles I hadn’t used since I was fifteen and we used to rip it up on the stage doing all those crazy dance moves that helped make the group famous. I didn’t realize I was that out of shape until Breezy and Max bent into one position and I tried it and you could hear at least five different areas of my body pop at the same time.
This was "thoughtful" time, which came after meditation time, which had come after yoga time I could see now that every freaking second of every single day was going to have a label on it. So far I had been at this place for like five hours and I think I was going insane? I was sure that the guys were back at home looking at the brochure for this place and laughing their asses off that they had sent me here.
Max came out of the bathroom with some Icy Hot that he tossed in my direction. It landed with a soft thud next to my head on the bed. Since I could not move without extreme pain I just stared at the container willing it to fly to my hand like I was a Jedi or something.
Max climbed onto his bed and lay back with his hands hooked under his head staring at the ceiling. "Hey Sunshine." He said in a serious voice. God how I wished that I had not told him that was my nickname.
"Yeah."
"I’m glad that you are my new roommate." I smiled and wiggled the bed a little so that the Icy Hot rolled towards me, bumping me in the nose. I guess the guy wasn’t all bad. A little strange but hey it was probably from staying at this place. In the real world he was probably a pretty cool guy.
"Me too Max," I mumbled giving up on the Icy Hot idea as I felt myself starting to fall asleep "Me too."
* * *
I was dreaming about Cassie.
Cassie was the latest girl in the long line of girls that I had dated in the past couple of years who was long and lean with blonde hair and blue eyes and a name that ended in a "y" or "ie".
It had become a running joke with the guys. Kevin said the girls were all interchangeable. Howie said they all had the same laugh. Brian said they all looked like his wife. And A.J. said they were all good in bed and that he knew that first hand. That was what had lead to the fight where I ended up breaking his arm. But anyway back to my dream.
In my dream Cassie and I were married living in some rain forest with wild birds and shit as pets. I told her that I was going to take the birds for a walk and she told me that I was stupid because birds couldn’t walk and that everything I said sounded like it came out of a little babies mouth. I kept saying I wasn’t stupid but everytime I opened my mouth to talk I sounded like I was a baby, saying goo goo and ga ga and just a bunch of babble. Then she just started laughing at me and pretty soon the birds were all calling me stupid and laughing too. I turned to run out of our hut, because we lived in a hut that oddly enough looked like Serenity Cabin, and I ran into the door face first and knocked myself out.
When I came to she was standing over me, looking down, with all of our birds perched on her shoulders and arms and head,
"You’re stupid and I am leaving you." She said with a sneer flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder, knocking a few of the birds off. "Oh, and I’m taking the birds!" And then she jumped on a vine and swung away.
Huh funny that was about how it happened in real life? Except she took our dogs, because we didn’t have any birds. And she took a huge wad of my cash. And instead of me knocking myself out she actually knocked me out when she hit me in the head with a bronze statue of a whale that was on my coffee table. But other than that…
When I woke up and opened my eyes I could still hear Cassies laughing in my head. It was like getting stuck with a really bad taste in your mouth that even toothpaste couldn’t get out. I shuddered and reached for my pillow but thought twice about it when I felt the ache in my arms.
Good God, I thought opening my eyes, I’m still here. I was hoping that the rainforest thing was real and Serenity Cabin was the dream. But nope. I could see the dark sky out of the window opposite my bed and I could hear the rain hitting the roof. And I could see Max lying on his bed arms still tucked beneath his head as he snored away.
It took every ounce of strength I had to roll over to the opposite side of the bed where my other duffel bags were side by side on the floor. Pulling my arm out from underneath me with a moan I reached over and grabbed the handles of one of the bags and pulled it up to me, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from yelling out with pain.
Once the bag was on the bed I slowly pushed myself to a semi sitting position and unzipped it. I was starved for something from my normal life. A little music and some Gameboy and I should be back to good in no time. Shuffling through the contents of the bag I couldn’t find my CD player. Looking further I realized that not only was my CD player gone but so were my CD’s and my Gameboy as well as my games? I had also packed a pager that was missing as well as a few mini bottles of various liquors in case I was in need. Shit. Double Shit. They had gone through my bags and confiscated all my good stuff. It was probably neatly tucked away in the same place they had put my cell phone. The only things left in the bag for entertainment were my leaky pens my pad of paper, some comic books and an envelope. I didn’t remember packing an envelope?
Pulling the envelope out I turned it over. It was kind of crunched up and my name was scribbled on the front in black ink. Slicing it open with my finger I pulled out a folded single sheet of paper and opened it.
Nick-
Hey buddy. I wish that we were kids again and I had some simple thing to say that would make things all better. But I don’t. I don’t know what is going on with you but I know that we needed to help you to help yourself and maybe this place you are going is a step in the right direction.
I asked Aaron to sneak this into your bag for you since I didn’t really get a chance to say goodbye. I don’t blame you for what happened with A.J. and I don’t think he really blames you either. Or at least I am sure he won’t once the cast comes off.
I had to chuckle at that
I hope you know that no matter what I am always here for you and I will always be your best friend. Nothing gets in the way of us being brothers. Please get some rest and know that I love you man.
Brian
I pushed away at a tear that slid down my face, feeling like some dork kid away at his first day of camp that just got a letter from his mom or something. I guess in a way this sort of was like camp. I never went to camp as a kid. I never did a lot of things as a kid. I always had my mom and dad following me around. Then it was Lou and his merry band of freaks tailing me. And of course if you added the guys or management or my bodyguards, someone was always with me. This was the first time I was ever just by myself doing my thing. And looking down at my near empty bag and my letter from Brian I didn’t think I much cared for doing my own thing. At all.
"Nick are you okay over there?" Wiping the tears off of my face I tucked Brian’s letter back into the bag and pushed it to the floor with a light thud.
"Yeah Max, I’m fine." I kept my back to him so that he wouldn’t see that I was crying.
"Did they go through your stuff?"
"Yup."
"I should have warned you. I’m sorry. I guess it can be kind of a shock."
"That’s putting it mildly." Just talking about was making the tears come harder and I didn’t know why? So what if they took my stuff. I wouldn’t be here for long and I had plenty more where that stuff came from at my house. When I got home I was going to play my video games all day long, eat cheeseburgers and fries till they were coming out my ears and listen to my CD’s on full blast. Ok now I was sounding like a three year old? Maybe everybody was right, maybe I did need to grow up?
"Well I think I am done with thinky time." I said slowly rolling over with a wince.
"It’s thoughtful time." Max corrected me.
"Thinky, thoughtful, whatever. I’m going to get some fresh air. Unless they have fresh air time coming up and I don’t know about it?" Max laughed a little into his hand.
Stripping off my sweat stained t-shirt and jeans from all of my fun activities so far. I grabbed a fresh pair of shorts and another t-shirt from my drawer and pulled them on. Then I ducked into the bathroom to swish my pits with deodorant and throwing a wave over my shoulder I was out of there.
The cabin was quiet. Everybody was being thoughtful. Blah. Taking the stairs two at a time I went out the front door and down the stairs into the fresh Washington air and rain.
* * *
"I don’t think you are supposed to be out here." Jumping I turned around expecting to find Danny patrolling the front of the cabin with a giant gun made out of tofu or something slung over his shoulder. Instead I saw Jesse. She was on the front porch leaning against one of the polls smoking a cigarette.
"Hey there." I smiled huge at the sight of a friendly face. "I didn’t know we could smoke here?" I gestured toward her cigarette that she had hidden between her fingertips, dangling by the side of her leg.
"We can’t." She smiled back.
"Do you want to go on a walk with me?" I really hope she would say yes, I could use some company.
"Sure." She pulled her jacket around her tightly and skipped down the front steps. When she got to me she passed me the cigarette slyly and we both turned and headed away from the cabin. Putting the cigarette to my lips I inhaled deeply and sighed.
"Damn that is good. Oh I mean darn."
"You can swear around me. It’s the cabins rules not mine."
"Great. Damn, damn damn." We both laughed as I passed the cigarette back to her and she gestured at me to keep it.
"I’ve got more where those came from. You can finish it."
"Thanks." I savored each drag like I was headed to the gas chamber. It more then made up for the crappy afternoon I had, had so far.
We walked into the woods on a gravel-lined path. The trees were so thick that you couldn’t hear the rain. You couldn’t hear anything but the sound of our breathing. It was a weird kind of quiet. Looking around I had a thought.
"Are there bears up here?"
"I don’t think so?"
"Cause I saw a show about when bears attack, and if they see you there is basically no way you can escape them. They can even climb trees. They said that if one spots you and comes after you, you should just get down in a ball and let the bear bat you around until it gets bored. You know I bet Breezy would be good at that because she is really bendable? " Jesse started giggling and the giggling turned to full out laughter.
"You are too funny." I wasn’t really trying to be funny but I went along with her. "I bet you have your teammates laughing all of the time."
Teammates?
Oh yeah I was a football player.
"You know it. They think I am hilarious." We kept walking, Jesse leading the way. I was still a little fishy on the bear thing so I brought up the rear keeping my eyes peeled for anything suspicious lurking in the forest.
At the top of the path Jesse veered off left and hiked up a little higher. I could tell that she was slowing down her pace so that I could keep up with her. Neither one of us talked much the rest of the way up the hill. The higher we climbed the darker it seemed to the get, it was as if we were climbing up into the black storm clouds. Suddenly she stopped and I stopped too. I looked in the direction she was looking and spotted a tilting log gazebo that had definitely seen better days.
She continued in the direction of the gazebo. Once we reached it she walked inside and sat on one of the rotted log benches. I sat opposite her leaning my head back with a sigh.
"Geez I never realized how out of shape I was until this morning. I feel like I should be at some Richard Simmons fat camp instead of here." She smiled at me with sparkling dark brown eyes.
"Here are you done with that?" She motioned to the cigarette butt that I had in my hand. I gave it to her and reaching beneath her seat she pulled out an old soda can that she dropped the butt into.
"I guess you have been here before." I pushed the sweat off of my forehead and wiped my hand on my shorts. I wondered how high up we were?
"Yeah a few times. I come here to get away from everything and everyone." I nodded wondering how long she had been at Serenity Cabin.
"You are the only person that I have ever brought here. So maybe if you could keep it quiet."
"Sure." We sat there not talking for awhile. I watched her twist her hair into two braids and then push them over her shoulder. She looked even younger with her hair like that. When she noticed me staring she gave me a faraway smile that seemed sort of sad. I smiled back.
"Do you want me to do your hair too?" She asked. I pushed my hand through my hair with a semi shrug. "It’s long enough, it will be fun c’mon." She motioned for me to come over to where she sat. Standing she had me sit where she had been sitting and she climbed up on the railing of the gazebo behind me, her legs on either side of my arms. Once she was comfortable she started pulling hunks of my hair into her hands, her fingers working each section into braids.
"I used to do my daughters hair every morning."
"You have a daughter?" I was surprised she looked so young.
"Yup. Her name is Hayley, she is four years old and she hates me." She said it so matter of factly that I almost didn’t catch what she had said. I pulled my head away from her grip and turned a little so that I could see her face.
"She doesn’t hate you."
"Trust me she hates me. Her dad is making sure of that."
"But she can’t hate you. She’s four she doesn’t know what hate is." She motioned for me to turn back around so that she could finish the braids.
"Look, let’s not talk about this Nick. Let’s talk about something fun. Why don’t you tell me some more stuff about bear attacks."
So I turned back around letting her finish playing beauty parlor on me. And pretty soon we were talking about the most insanely stupid stuff, that had us both laughing so hard that it seemed like I was on vacation with a best friend instead of a prisoner at Camp Crazy Crazy.