"Im not sure how long Jesse and I stayed in the gazebo talking. Neither one of us were wearing watches. I wanted to ask her about her daughter and her husband but she seemed to want to steer clear of the subject so I didn’t push. She talked about highschool like it was yesterday, telling me about the year she graduated. When I did the math I figured it made her about twenty-four which surprised me, but I had never been that good at guessing peoples ages.
When we met Lou for the first time he pulled me aside and he asked me how old I thought he was. I think he figured he was pretty hip and cool and that he could pass for twenty five or something. I told him that I guessed he must be about sixty. He told me I was wrong and then called me an idiot and cuffed me in the back of the head. I guess that should have been some sort of a warning about what kind of a guy he was going to turn out to be.
I told Jesse some funny stories about the guys and me but instead of acting like we were a band I talked about us like we were football teammates. And then she told me some great dirty jokes that made me blush in a way that A.J.s dirty jokes never had. I liked watching her expressions when she talked. Her eyes would get all big and her mouth would twist around and then break into a great smile.
After awhile the rain began to fall harder, breaking through the trees and pounding on the roof of the gazebo. Water drizzled through the spots where the wood had worn away, dripping around us. We moved around trying to avoid getting wet, finally giving up when a big gush of water came right down on my head drenching me. Looking up I saw that a large hole that had broken through the ceiling right above me. Jesse pointed and laughed hard rocking back and forth. I swung my head around shaking water all over her like a wet dog.
"C’mon let’s get out of here!" She squealed. Following her lead we ran out of the gazebo and down the path. She was like a colt, long and lean. She held her shoulders straight and her head up as she ran. Her braids swung around behind her whipping off of her shoulders, reminding me of a little friend I had in gradeschool. I couldn’t remember her name now but she had been one of the few kids who were nice to me.
It was in second grade and the other kids were picking on me. They would always tease me because we didn’t have a lot of money so sometimes I had to wear the same clothes two days in a row, and I would come to school dirty with my hair uncombed. One day the kids surrounded me on the playground and they took turns calling me names and poking me in the chest. I was just about to start crying when the little girl with braids walked up. I remembered her taking my hand in a protective way and squeezing it tightly as she pushed her long dark braids over her shoulder and pointed her nose in the air. Then she led me to the swings saying, "Nicky and I are going to swing now and if you guys want to come you can." She pointed to a swing for me to sit in and then she sat beside me in the other swing both of us pumping our legs until we were sailing high and laughing our heads off. And pretty soon all the other kids joined us. After that day they never made fun of me again. The little girl with the braids dared to be my friend. She made me feel like I belonged. And that was how Jesse made me feel now. She made me feel like I belonged at Serenity Cabin.
Stopping she turned to make sure that I was okay as we picked our way down the muddy path. Just as I went to wave to her to let her know I was keeping up okay I slid in the mud and landed with a huge splat on my back. I kept sliding until I came to a stop at her feet. At first she looked surprised then she just looked amused and finally she burst out into laughter.
Without a second thought I grabbed her hand and pulled her down with me. She landed beside me in the mud with a huge splash that sent mud spattering all over her face and mine.
"Oh you are so going to pay for that!" She squealed grabbing a handful of wet sloppy mud that she smashed in my face. I scrambled to my feet in an effort to get away. Dodging handfuls of flying mud that she slung at me I was laughing so hard I could barely keep my balance. It didn’t help when she jumped on my back and the two of us propelled forward down the hill a laughing muddy mess.
I was still carrying Jesse piggyback when we broke through the bushes tripping and falling in a big tangle of mud, rain, arms and legs right at Danny’s feet.
I looked up at him with a big wide grin, wiping mud from my eyes. Jesse had rolled off my back and was lying beside me on the ground her laughter filling the air. Danny extended a hand to Jesse first pulling her to her feet. He helped me up next with a light slap on the back.
"You two need to get back up to your rooms please." I could tell he was a little irritated with us. I was guessing that I had broken more of the "rules". Jesse obeyed Danny and headed towards the cabin. She looked over her shoulder at me with a wink and a tiny smile.
"Nick, maybe I need to go over the rules a little more with you." Danny hooked an arm around my shoulder and then changed his mind as he pulled back his mud-covered arm. "On second thought why don’t we go inside and get out of the rain. You can get cleaned up and then we will have that talk."
* * *
Throwing open the door to my room I was greeted with a roaring fire in the fireplace and some soft music being piped in through some speaker system. It was easy listening like maybe Yanni or Kenny G or someone? Max was out and about. His bed was empty but straightened up as was mine. Kicking off my mud caked shoes I left a trail of wet dirty clothes all the way to the bathroom.
The hot water from the shower felt good, and it seemed satisfying to watch all of the mud wash off of me and swirl down the drain. Pulling out the braids one by one that Jesse had wound around my head I tripled shampooed my hair until it squeaked it was so clean and I dug under my fingernails to get the impacted mud out from beneath them. Smiling I thought back to how much fun it had been to just laugh. I realized that I didn’t really laugh anymore? Not unless I was really drunk anyway, and that wasn’t a real kind of laughter. The kind that comes straight from your gut and makes your stomach muscles hurt after.
Cassie and I never really laughed much. She always had this way of smiling that was so phony. She said that she didn’t want to ever smile too big or it would cause wrinkles in her forehead and she would have to spend a fortune on botox injections to get rid of them someday. Come to think of it she actually said I would have to spend a fortune on botox injections to get rid of them for her someday.
Stepping out of the shower I wrapped a towel around my waist and secured it and then walked to the large mirror and studied myself.
I looked old.
I looked tired.
I looked fat.
I looked like a thirteen-year-old boy with acne.
Walking back out into the bedroom I went to my bags pulling out a comb, some aftershave, a tube of acne cream, and some shaving cream. Then returning to the bathroom I went to the supply shelf and grabbed a bar of soap and a razor and I went to work.
* * *
Ta-da. Standing back I looked into the mirror. My face was shaved clean from the scruffy mess I had been growing on it. I had scrubbed it raw with soap and water and applied a thin layer of the clear acne cream on it. Then I slapped on some aftershave like a cherry on top. Hmmm something still wasn’t right? Tipping my head right and left I looked myself over and realized it was the hair. Walking back out to the bedroom I dug through my bag coming up with the tiny sewing kit that Kevin had bought for each one of us one year while we were on tour. He said that it would be good for emergencies. I had tucked it in the furthest corner of my bag. Wondering what the hell I would ever need with a sewing kit when we had costume people, roadies, managers and flunkies and billions of other people that knew how to sew if a button were to come off of my clothes?
Popping open the sewing kit I pulled out the miniscule scissors and returned to the bathroom setting them on the washbasin. Then running a comb through my hair I took odd hunks here and there and grabbing up the scissors I snipped them off. In an effort to even my new hairdo up I took a little more off the left side, than a little more of the right side. Well that necessitated me taking more off of the top and what I could reach of the back and soon the washbasin was filled with chunks of blonde hair. Rubbing my hand over what was left I smiled. I liked it. It was low maintenance and clean looking. Brushing some stray hairs off of my shoulders I wet some kleenex and scooped the hair out of the sink and off the floor. Then I put everything back in its’ place put on some deodorant and walked out to the room.
What the hell music was playing now? I wished there were some dial to change the station. Whatever it was it made me want to break into some sort of Riverdance. Laughing I pulled out a clean pair of boxers a fresh t-shirt and some sweatpants from my drawers and got dressed. I was just cinching up the laces on the sweatpants when there was a knock at the door.
"Come in."
"Hey there Nicky." It was Danny. He poked his head in the door with a smile and came the rest of the way in.
"Listen Danny," I thought I had better jump in first and apologize before he got on my case about this afternoon, "I’m sorry about that whole thing today. I know that I was supposed to be doing the whole thoughtfulness thinky time thing but I just needed some fresh air."
"Oh it’s no problem. I understand. It takes awhile to adjust to life around here and the slower pace." He sat on my bed crossing his legs and making himself comfortable. I leaned against my dresser.
"Hey you cut your hair…..and you shaved too. It looks really good. I’ve thought about cutting my hair a couple of times but I always chicken out at the last minute." He pulled his ponytail around over his shoulder. "I have had it since I was a teenager and I guess I’m just not ready to let go of my youth." I was wondering how old he was when he answered the question for me as if he was reading my mind.
"I’ll be thirty eight next month." Geez he looked like he was maybe twenty-five or twenty six. "I have worked here for ten years. When I first got on here I thought maybe it would be a nice summer job, and then I never left."
"That’s cool. I wish I knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life."
"Well maybe you will figure that out while you are here?" Danny got up and smoothed out the wrinkles in the comforter. "Hey Nick, you know I don’t make it my practice to get too involved in peoples personal lives that come here. I am more here as a spiritual guide for you. But I thought that you should know that Jesse is married and has a daughter," he paused searching for the right words."And if there is a possibility that she can make things work out with him and get that family back together…well let’s just say you don’t look like the kind of guy who would want to get in the way of that." I looked down running a hand through my new spiky hair.
"No you’re right Danny, I wouldn’t want to get in the way of people being a family. Jesse was just being nice to me since I’m the new guy. We’re just friends." He smiled at me and then came around the bed and gave me a friendly pat on the shoulder.
I patted his shoulder back with a slow smile. "Thanks for talking with me about it though."
"You bet buddy." With that Danny turned and started to leave the room.
"Hey Danny," he turned "If you ever decide to do that haircut thing you know who to come to right." He grinned with a hand on the door.
"You’re the first person I’ll call."
A few minutes after Danny left there was another knock on the door. Geez it was Grand Central Station around here. Before I could say come in the door popped open and Jesse poked her head in. Without even meaning to I broke into a huge smile. She just had that effect on me.
"Hey!" I said a little too excited.
"Hey." She answered back slipping in the door and closing it behind her. "Listen I hope that I didn’t get you into too much trouble. I’m not even…Hey you cut your hair!"
"Huh…. Oh yeah." She walked over to me and stood up on her tiptoes rubbing my hair.
"I like it, although I was partial to the braids and the mud. Well anyway I’m not even supposed to be up here. It is a major no-no and all of that but I had to sneak up here and tell you that I was sorry if I got you into trouble."
"Nah I’m not in trouble."
She grinned.
I grinned.
Max grinned.
Hey when the hell did Max walk in?
"Hi guys." He said slapping us both on the backs. "That’s some storm out there, it is really coming down. Of course by the looks of Nicks clothes piled up here on the floor and the serious talk I saw Lisa and Danny having downstairs I would say that you two know about the storm first hand." Jesse stepped back from me her grin fading as she turned to Max.
"Hey Maxie you’re not going to tell Lisa that I was up here in your room are you? Nick and I are already in a little hot water for breaking the rules."
"No way. I see nothing I say nothing."
Jesse climbed on my bed, making herself comfortable in the spot that Danny had just vacated. She too had showered and washed her hair which she now wore in a loose bun on top her head, with little tendrils sticking out everywhere reminding me of a sea urchin. She had no makeup on and she was wearing a faded gray t-shirt with the words UCLA on it and some gray sweatshorts. She looked great. Like the kind of girl you could curl up on the couch with and watch a movie while you tried to shoot popcorn into each others mouths during the boring parts. Tucking her barefeet underneath her she patted the bed. "Come and sit with me." She said with a smile. I flopped down on the bed on my stomach making her bounce a little. She looked over her shoulder to Max who was digging around in his dressers for something.
"He’s a nice guy." She whispered to me. I nodded with a smile. "Hey Maxie," this time she said it louder so that he could hear her. "Let’s play a game. Clue or Monopoly or something. Rainy days are good for games."
"Excellent. How about you Sunshine are you in?" Jesse’s eyebrows raised as Max `called me by the nickname I had given to Breezy and him.
"Sunshine huh?" She said a smile tugging up the corners of her mouth. Shit, now I was going to be stuck with the nickname for the rest of my stay.
"Well feel free to just call me Nick if you want."
"Hmmm I don’t know I will have to decide which one I like better. Nicky or Sunny?" Ugh.
"Okay, okay enough with the nickname thing let’s just play Clue." I cut her off before she really started to have fun. Max grabbed the game and plopped down on the bed with us. Pulling the board and pieces out from the ancient worn looking box Jesse quickly snapped up Mrs. White and Max grabbed Professor Plum which left me with the only person piece left…..Miss Scarlet.
"Can’t I just use the knife and be Knife Man or something?" I asked holding the Miss Scarlet piece in my hand.
"Nope." Jesse said taking the piece from me and placing it on the Miss Scarlet square.
"The rules don’t say anything about a Knife Man and there is not Knife Man square so looks like you are stuck being Miss Scarlet. Hey how about we call you Sunny Scarlet!"
"How about you roll the stupid dice."
* * *
We decided to play three out of four with Max winning one game and Jesse winning three.
"It’s the stupid Miss Scarlet piece." I pouted hucking it across the room "How can I win anything when I have to be a girl."
"Easy there Sunny." Jesse said scooping up the scorepads and weapon pieces and putting them in the box. "Next time you will have to be Professor Plum or Mrs. White since it looks like you lost the Miss Scarlet piece." Max laughed as he folded up the board and placed it in the box.
"Shit." Jesse sat up looking around the room "Damn place, you never know what time it is around here. How long have we been playing?" Max and I both shrugged "I ‘d better get out of here before they come and get us for dinner." Swinging around her bare feet hit the floor with a thud.
"See you guys later." She threw a wave over her shoulder and ducked out the door shutting it quietly behind her.
"She’s a cool girl." I said rolling off the bed onto the floor to look for the Miss Scarlet piece.
"Yeah she is. You know she’s married right?" Geez what was it with everybody around here. I’m here one day and everybody has me pegged as a homewrecker.
"I don’t want to marry her Max. I just think she is cool." He placed the game back on the shelf and dropped down to the floor to help me look for the lost piece.
"Okay I just wanted to make sure that you knew that there was somebody else in the picture."
"What is with that anyway?" I asked, coming up with a quarter and a black button.
"I dunno. We aren’t supposed to really pry into each other lives. But once and awhile we have these sessions where you meet with another cabinmate and you can discuss anything. Jesse and I paired up and she sort of talked about her husband. I guess he’s older than her, and rich and controlling." Max sat up holding up the red Miss Scarlet piece with a big smile.
"Cool, you found it." I took the piece from him and sat up. "But I don’t get it. If her husband is all those things that you say he is he doesn’t sound like a real big catch to me."
"I dunno. That was all she would really say on the subject." He answered standing up and wiping his hands on his shorts. "I suppose whatever is meant to be is meant to be." Helping me up he turned and started for the door.
"Hey Sunshine, I’ll race you down to dinner. Last one down is Miss Scarlet." Bolting for the door I tripped over myself trying to beat him down there. There was no way I was going to be Miss Scarlet twice in one day.