JANUARY 1998
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Climbing on my lap she straddled me with a big inviting smile on her face.
“So what’s your pleasure?” Her voice was soft, her scent intoxicating.
“Ummmm.” I stammered as she threw her arms around my back pulling me in for a closer inspection of her chest.
“Oh Nick!” She moaned running her hands through my hair.
“Oh…….” Opening my eyes I realized I didn’t know her name? Frantically I tried to remember what she had introduced herself as when my eyes set themselves on the diamond encrusted letters sparkling from the chain around her neck, the cursive letters swirling across her heaving chest like a giant billboard to guide me along. “Oh Taffy!” I moaned back.
“Tell me what you want Nick, tell me now!’
“I want……” Swallowing hard I tightened my grip on her wild hips.” I want……”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUMBASS!!!!!” Opening my eyes with a start I was staring right into Brian’s blue eyes, a wicked grin on his face as he hovered over my hotel bed.
“Betcha thought I forgot!?!” Reaching behind him he thrust a brightly wrapped package at me cackling like a wild animal.
“I wish you would have forgotten, at least for another few minutes.” I moaned the image of Taffy disappearing as reality kicked in.
“So who was she and what did she do to you?” Winking at me as I shoved him to the side I sat up and grabbed for the package.
Somehow Brian always seemed to know when I was having a dirty dream and he never failed to call me on it.
“I hope she gave you a nice birthday present.” Cackling again he stood up and walked to the windows pulling back the drapes to let in the hazy morning light.
“Shut up.” I groaned ripping at the paper, two knocks dropping on the door before Howie and Kevin walked in.
“Awwww look at the birthday boy!” Talking in a baby voice Kevin rushed the bed tackling me down, Brian’s package flying from my hands.
“Okay Howie now!” Kevin shouted pinning my arms at my side as Howie jumped on the bed a tube of lipstick in one hand a compact with eyeshadow in the other.
“Hey, what are you doing!” Wriggling around I swung my head from side to side as Howie pulled the cap off of the lipstick with his teeth.
“You’ll be doing yourself a favor if you just hold still Nicky.” Jabbing at me with the tube of bright red lipstick as I tried to buck Kevin off of me.
“Hey Bri hold his head.” Howie ordered as Brian jumped on the bed above me laughing his ass off as he held my head and Howie smeared the lipstick on my lips.
“You guys are gonna pay.”
“You wish!” Tossing the lipstick tube over his shoulder Howie cracked open the eyeshadow smearing some on the little applicator before slashing it over my eyes.
“Oh Nick, it’s soooooo your color!” Pushing his knees into my upper arms to keep me pinned I watched Howie ditch the eyeshadow before pulling another tube from his pants pockets.
“Excellent D, you can’t have a cute birthday girl without mascara.” Brian roared.
“Oh no. No, no, no. You are not putting that stuff on me. I draw the line as mascara.” Kicking my feet I tried to avoid the little curly wand as Howie tried to line it up with my fluttering eyelashes.
“If you don’t hold still Nick you’re going to look like a hooker.”
“Oh very funny Howie.” I answered as he accidentally jabbed the mascara wand into my eye.
“Owwwww!” Squeezing my eyes shut tight it gave Howie just enough time to swish the wand over my eyelashes.
“Okay A.J. hurry up we can’t hold him much longer.” Kevin yelled over his shoulder as A.J. appeared in the open door a pair of bright red high-heeled shoes in one hand and a leather skirt and wide brimmed red straw hat in the other.
“No way Jay how did you find those, they’re perfect!” Slapping at his knee Brian jumped off of the bed grabbing for the shoes.
“Sammy let me borrow them.” He grinned stepping onto the bed and walking towards me. “And that ain’t all she let me borrow.” Reaching in his back pocket he came up with a bright red satin bra that he swung around his index finger. “The piece de’ resistance!”
* * *
Fifteen minutes later I was pushed out onto the streets of New York clad only in a black leather mini skirt, a red bra with matching red high heels, a big floppy hat and a face full of makeup.
Pointing and laughing the people in their cars began honking wildly in acknowledgement of the “HONK IT’S MY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY” sign that was tied around my neck.
Waving back to them like Miss America I could see the guys in the lobby of the hotel laughing hysterically, their faces pressed to the glass as Kevin recorded it all on his video camera.
* * *
“See that wasn’t so bad.” Sitting on the bathroom sink as Brian tended to the cuts on my face I winced.
“Yeah, it wasn’t so bad until that crowd of girls figured out it was me and tackled me.”
“Oh my god man, you should have seen your face when you tried to run and tripped over your heels. Freaking hilarious!”
“Yeah well I’m sure I’ll get to see it when Kevin plays it over and over and over for us on his camcorder.”
“That one girl was dragging you down the sidewalk. We thought she was going to toss you in a cab and take you home.” Rolling my eyes I let my head rest against the bathroom mirror.
“She was strong. I don’t think I could have gotten away from her even if I would have been wearing track shoes. I got road rash on my knees from when she pulled me over the curb.”
“Sammy’s going to be pissed that one of those chicks stole her bra.” Laughing Brian motioned for me to close my eyes.
“I bet I end up with a black eye.”
“Yeah that’ll be cool on TRL when Carson asks you how you got the black eye and we all tell him that a mob of little girls attacked you.”
“You wouldn’t dare?” My eyes shot open.
“Happy birthday Nicky!” He said with a grin walking from the room.
* * *
“So Nick it’s your eighteenth birthday today huh?” Carson asked. I smiled as the crowd in the cramped studio began to cheer.
“So have you guy’s got any special plans?”
“Just to hang out and enjoy New York.” I answered to another round of thunderous applause.
“So you guy’s don’t have a concert tonight then?”
“Nope, we made sure that we had tonight off to party with the little man on his big one-eight.” Kevin answered slapping me on the back. “But we’ll be back in action tomorrow night so I hope you’ll all come out and see us!” Again the crowd burst into cheers, tossing stuffed animals and cardboard signs bearing birthday wishes across the stage to me.
“Okay so do you guys want to sing us out today while we wheel out a little surprise for the birthday boy?” Motioning behind him Carson moved to the side of the stage as we launched into an acapella version of “As Long As You Love Me.”
At the same time a huge cake bearing the words “Happy Birthday Nick” was pushed onstage a giant frosting portrait of myself smiling up at us as the candles flickered beneath the hot studio lights and the crowd along with Carson began to sing a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday.
“Happy Birthday to Nick, Happy Birthday to Nick………………”
* * *
“Ha ha screw you guys he didn’t even notice the black eye!” Walking down the corridor behind the TRL studios I pulled off my silver rimmed glasses and tucked them in the inside pocked of my long leather jacket.
“So Nick, what’s up with the black eye?” Coming up alongside of me Carson dropped a hand on my shoulder.
“You noticed?” Stopping my hand went to my eye.
“Well it was kind of hard not too what with your makeup melting beneath the studio lights.” Laughing he grabbed for Brian’s hand the two of them shaking and tapping each others fists.
“So Carson you gonna come with us to celebrate tonight?” Bringing up the rear Kevin tugged his turtleneck sweater off over his head to reveal a comfortable faded blue Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt.
“I might hook up with you guys later. I’ll have to look at my schedule. You’re going to be over at Mi Tentacion right?”
“Yup, we got the whole place rented out for the night. It’s going to be the bomb.”
“Okay man, if I don’t meet up with you guys later Happy Birthday Nick.” Turning left as we turned right A.J. came up beside me whispering in my ear.
“Man that guy is such a dork, how he gets all the hot chicks I’ll never know.”