Leighanne’s visit left Nick feeling strange and unsettled as he kept going over what she'd said in his mind.
“Because he told me so…..Because he told me so…Because he told me so.”
What did that mean? He guessed that it was supposed to make him feel better to think that Brian had given up his own life in order for Nick to live but in reality it only made him feel worse.
* * *
The rest of the day was filled with visits from family and close friends that were only allowed to see Nick one at a time. Most of them brought flowers, stuffed animals or food that he couldn’t yet eat and all of them approached him with phony smiles pasted on their faces patting his arm like he was some delicate piece of china that they didn’t want to break.
Even Aaron acted strange laughing in this stupid loud laugh that made Nick’s ears hurt.
“Shut up.” He finally said as Aaron rattled off the punch line to another stupid joke that Nick didn’t get.
“Oh c’mon bro, that was funny?” Aaron waggled his eyebrows at Nick.
“No it wasn’t it was stupid and retarded just like you are.” Aaron’s face fell at his brothers unprovoked attack.
“I’m sorry I was just trying to cheer you up.”
“Yeah well you’re not so shut up.” Nick paused. “Hey, I heard the nurses talking, they said you were in here with me when I woke up?” Nick tried to make eye contact with Aaron as he shifted around uncomfortably in his chair. Each visitor had been instructed by Nick’s lawyer as well as his mother to not mention anything to Nick about the case.
“Yeah I guess so.”
“You guess so or you know so Aaron?”
“ I don’t know.”
“You’re lying.” Nick pointed a finger at his little brother. “You’re lying to me you little shit.”
“Nick-“ Aaron sputtered just as their mother poked her head in the door an annoyed look on her face.
“Aaron, time’s up. Give somebody else a turn to visit with Nick.” Standing up Aaron glanced over his shoulder at Nick on the way out the door, wanting to say something to let his brother know that he was sorry. But it was too late, the pain medication had already began to take effect as Nick’s eyes slowly closed and he fell into a deep sleep.
* * *
Nick was grateful when he awoke from his afternoon nap to find A.J. sitting in the chair beside him a black baseball cap pulled down low over his eyes as he fiddled with the dials on the big clunky watch on his wrist.
“Hey am I glad to see you.” Nick rolled over on his side with a groan.
“Yeah well you should be because I’m a sexy sexy man.” A.J. laughed pushing up the brim of the baseball cap so that he could see Nick better.
“You know they got some new guards out there on your doors. They look like fucking Barney Fife or something. If anything happens to you buddy you’re screwed if those are the guys that are supposed to protect you.” Nick was relieved to hear the sly sarcastic tone of A.J.’s voice. It made him feel like everything would be okay.
“How come I have guards on my door?” Nick reached out signaling for A.J. to hand him his water.
“You mean the cops didn’t tell you?” A.J. said handing him the water, not giving a shit about what Nick’s Mom thought Nick should or shouldn’t know regarding what had happened to him.
“Nobody has really told me anything except that Brian is-“ Nick stopped.
“You don’t have to say it man.” A.J. said as Nick paused.
“Well anyway, all they told me is that Howie is missing and that some other guy was killed.” Nick took a long drink of water propping the glass on his chest.
“Well, according to the news they think there might be someone else involved. They think that he might be the one who has Howie and I think they’re afraid that he might come after you because you are the only one who knows what happened to you, Howie and Brian.” A.J. swiveled his cap backwards as Nick studied his hands in his lap.
“You know, I was having this weird dream before I woke up. It was about Brian.” Nick spoke softly. “I could see him plain as day, it was almost like I could reach out and touch him.”
“Did he say anything?” Tears stung A.J. eyes, he’d been trying to be strong but it was so hard with Brian’s voice echoing around in his head everytime that he closed his eyes.
“He didn’t say anything, he just……..looked at me.” Nick had tried desperately to save the image of Brian in his head but when he opened his eyes it faded like a distant memory.
“A.J.” Nick swirled the water around in the glass. “Were Brian and I doing drugs?” A.J. let out a loud laugh sitting back in his chair.
“No way.”
“Well if I can’t remember what happened the night he was killed then what if there are other things about my life that I can’t remember.”
“Nick you’d remember if you and Brian were doing drugs.”
“But my Mom said-“
“I don’t care what your fucking Mom says Nick. And I don’t care what the fucking papers say or the guys on the news or even Kevin-“ A.J. stopped himself but not soon enough.
“What does Kevin say?” Nick mumbled.
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter.”
“No I want to know what ‘Mr. High And Fucking Mighty’ has to say about the whole thing?” Nick knew he was talking loud and he didn’t care. “It’s not like I didn’t notice that he hasn’t come by A.J., it isn’t like I couldn’t figure out for myself that he thinks this is all my fault just like he always thinks everything is my fault.”
“He’s fucked up Nick, he doesn’t know what he thinks or why he thinks it so screw him.”
“Yeah well I’m fucked up too, I mean look at me.” Nick yelled pointing at his stomach and the mass of tubes and hospital machinery all around him. “If he thinks that I did this on purpose-“
“He doesn’t think you did it on purpose Nick just calm down.”
“Then what does he think A.J.?”
“Nick you have to calm down, they’re going to throw my ass out of here if you don’t calm down.”
“What does he think A.J., tell me?” Nick’s frustration was peaking.
“Let it go Nick.” A.J. considered getting up and leaving but Nick continued baiting him.
“No seriously I want to know A.J. what does he think…..WHAT DOES KEVIN THINK?” Nick’s face was flushed red as he hurled the glass of water across the room making A.J. jump as glass shattered all around him.
“HE WISHES YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO DIE.” A.J. yelled back slamming his fist into the guardrails on the bed instantly regretting the harsh words he’d let loose into the air.
Nick took a sharp intake of breath like he’d been slapped hard across the face pausing for a beat before replying,
“Yeah, well fuck him man because I wish I were dead too.”
* * *
Dan pulled into his driveway shortly after 7:00 a.m. dragging himself up the three flights of stairs to his apartment. Walking inside he was too tired to even care that he’d left his keys in the door as he stumbled into the bedroom dropping face first onto the bed and falling asleep visions of a mystery man named ‘Mo’ dancing in his head.
The info he’d gotten from the hooker had been golden, giving Dan a name and a vague description of a man who had been known to hang around with Gus Monroe. Dan knew from his inside source at the police station that the cops sure as hell didn’t know about any guy named Mo. They were actually going to start working on the angle that Brian, Nick and Howie had been into drugs and that Gus was their drug dealer, which totally made Dan laugh considering that that whole theory had been first introduced by some tabloid rag.
After his chat with the hooker Dan had done some more digging around, mentioning the name Mo to a few stray street people here and there. Some of them shrugged him off asking for money but there was one guy that stood out in Dan’s mind. He kept telling Dan that he knew Mo.
“So you know who he is then, this guy Mo?” Dan stood arms length away from the guy trying not to inhale the foul stench of body odor mixed with cigarette smoke.
“Nobody really knows Mo.” The old man replied scratching at his chin before grabbing at some unseen thing in the air.
“What does that mean?” Dan rubbed at his eyes wondering what the hell time it was and how much longer he was going to have to play quiz games with the great unwashed on the Los Angeles City streets.
“Well nobody but the kid, maybe the kid knows Mo.”
“What?”
“The kid would probably know him better then anybody.” At the mention of a kid Dan grabbed for his pen and notepad.
“You keep saying there is a kid? What like a little kid, or a big kid?”
“Yeah the kid had that spooked look in his eyes so he definitely knows Mo more then you and I know Mo.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Dan snapped his fingers in the guy’s face as he started to wander away mumbling something to himself as he disappeared into the shadows.
Dan was still dreaming of the foul smelling homeless guy when the afternoon sun peeking through the blinds woke him up. Rolling over he slowly opened his eyes his head pounding like he’d been on a three-day drunk. Glancing at the clock on the wall he pushed himself up on one elbow and grabbed for the phone dialing his work number.
“I’m sick.” He said as soon as his producer picked up the phone.
“No way Fortis, get your ass in here you already missed your 12:00 set up. You’ve got another live feed from the hospital at 3:00.”
“I can’t I’m sick.” He explained again in stuffy nosed scratchy throated voice that could have won him an Oscar. “It must be some sort of twenty four hour something or other.”
“Twenty four hour something or other huh?” His producer said with an irritated sigh. “You got twenty four hours to get your ass out of bed and feeling better or your fired.” Smiling as he placed the phone back in the cradle Dan sat up swinging his legs over the side of the bed and raking his hands through his hair before he grabbed for his pager and cell phone mixed up in the bedsheets.
He knew he was running out of time. He had to get his ass back out on the streets and look for Mo because he was almost positive that where Mo was there would be information.
* * *
“Get out A.J.” Nick continued yelling at A.J. as he pointed at the door.
“Nick you don’t mean what you’re saying. Everybody is confused right now. We all just want shit back to normal.” A.J. stood up pacing the hospital room as security burst through the door observing the shattered glass and water all over the room.
“You need to leave Mr. Carter’s room.” The guard signaled for A.J. to follow him but A.J. set his jaw glaring at the guy.
“Hey fuck you he’s my friend and I’m not going anywhere.”
“C’mon.” The security guard walked through the glass on the floor reaching for A.J.’s arm.
“Why don’t you fucking make me you little dick.” A.J. pulled his arm from the guy’s grip as the second security guard came through the door.
“Do you need some help?” He asked as the first guard grabbed for A.J.’s arm again.
“No we’ve got things under control here, right?” He said pulling on A.J.’s forearm.
“Nick tell them that you don’t want me to go.”
“Nothing is ever going to be normal again.” Nick mumbled more to himself then to anybody in the room.
“What?” A.J. shot a confused look in Nick’s direction shaking the security guard off of him for the second time.
“You want things back to normal, well nothing is ever going to be normal again.”
“Nick you don’t know what you’re saying, you’re upset.”
“ Just get out A.J. I don’t want you here anymore, I just want to be alone.”
* * *
After A.J. had been escorted out by security and housekeeping had come to clean up the mess of glass on the floor, Nick lay in his hospital bed counting the ceiling ties and thinking about what A.J. had told him,
“Well, according to the news they think there might be someone else involved. They think that he might be the one who has Howie. I think they’re afraid that he might come after you because you are the only one who knows what happened to you and Brian.”
Turning on his side he picked up the telephone and rang the nurse’s station asking for the phone number for Sergeant Cox. Repeating the digits over and over to himself he hung up and dialed again keeping an eye on he door.
“What.”
“Is this Sergeant Cox?” At the sound of Nick Carter’s voice Sergeant Cox stood up and closed his office door.