Nick’s Mother had beaten him often in his twenty-three years, more then he cared to remember. He always told himself that once he was older he would be able to fight back, to put her in her place with one swift punch to the face that would rock her back on her heels and onto her ass. A punch so fierce she would look up at him with tears in her eyes and swear to God that she would never lay a hand on him again.
But that day had never come. He could never bring himself to do that to the woman who had given birth to him, at least not in this lifetime. So for almost two decades he’d taken the beatings through clenched teeth and closed eyes one of the most severe being the one last year before his solo album had hit the stores.
Jane was angry over his refusal to pay her mortgage on the ridiculous home she and Bob had purchased in Malibu with Nick’s money. She’d called Nick stupid and lazy before knocking him closed fist three times against the jaw, her diamond rings digging into his flesh. When he turned to leave she came at him strong hitting him in the back of the head twice with a large marble statue of a bird, the one he’d given her for her birthday.
The pain had been excruciating leveling him to the ground as blood seeped slowly from his ears and mouth. As his sight faded in and out and his body began to shake Nick cried out to his mother begging her to call an ambulance but she refused, instead covering him with a blanket as he lie on the floor and offering him a few aspirin and a sip of her Vodka before he finally passed out from the pain.
It had taken a week for the bruises along his jawline to began to fade but the headaches from the blow to his head had just begun.
Was that single incident the cause of the fate he was now doomed to he couldn’t be sure……but he knew one thing for certain it had not helped.
* * *
“Turn here.” Kara said patting his hand. He looked up to the handpainted sign on the wooden post proclaiming it to be “THE END OF THE ROAD” and turned left heading up the long gravel road.
It sat perched on a slight rise at the top of a hill, the most incredible farmhouse Nick had ever seen. It was painted a pale yellow with crisp white trim and framed by thick green leafed trees that were perfect for climbing. As they drew nearer to the magnificent home Nick could see that it boasted a wonderful wrap around porch with scattered pieces of wicker furniture here and there and buckets of richly colored flowers that tumbled over the sides like waterfalls.
“You grew up here?” Nick asked Kara in amazement as he pulled the car around the front of the house and slid the gear into park.
“Yes, I lived here until I was ten. It’s beautiful isn’t it?” She answered just as her Grandmother came through the creaky wooden screen door onto the porch, one hand up to shield her eyes from the late afternoon sun, the other hand tucked neatly in the pocket of her frilly white apron.
Nick smiled at Kara’s Grandmother, overwhelmed by a warm feeling of happiness, as if her Grandmother was standing there waiting just for him. He had visions of himself as a young boy running up the steps to wrap his arms around the woman’s waist as she enveloped him in a big bear hug ruffling his hair.
The vision made him smile.
“This is like a dream.” He said climbing from the car as Kara walked around to meet him.
“Isn’t life just one big dream anyway?” She said hooking an arm around his waist as they walked towards the porch.
Nick glanced down at Kara, wondering what she meant when she said “Isn’t life just one big dream anyway…” But he didn’t have time to think about it as her Grandmother caught him up in a big hug reaching up to rub his spiky hair.
“Welcome home Nicky.” She said with a light in her eyes.
And for once in his life he felt like he was home.
* * *
The three sat on the wicker furniture on the porch laughing as dinner cooked on the stove inside. After awhile Kara’s Grandfather joined them, all rosy cheeks and dancing eyes, telling them wonderful stories that had them all doubled over with laughter.
“Do you wanna know the line that I used to pick up your Grandmother when I first met her?” Kara’s Grandfather placed a warm loving hand on his wife’s shoulder. Both Nick and Kara nodded like two small children.
“I said, if you come back to my house I’ll show you the world’s biggest grapefruit.” Both Kara and Nick paused for a second before bursting out in fits of laughter at the crazy pickup line that obviously must have worked since the couple had been married almost fifty years.
“Wow that’s a pretty corny line. I always try to come up with some over the top clever line to hook them.” Nick said reaching for the glass of lemonade at his feet.
“Do you have a girlfriend now?” Her Grandfather asked Nick.
“Nah, not right now. But I’ve had my fair share of ladies in the past.”
“Okay slick give me one of your over the top clever lines.” Her Grandfather wiped at his brow with a red handkerchief, egging Nick on.
“Okay, you want my best line?”
“Yes.”
Cracking his knuckles Nick sat up straight all eyes on him.
“Okay here it goes…Hey baby,” Kara started giggling as Nick began. “Wait, wait- she’s screwing me up.” He said as Kara’s Grandfather motioned for her to be silent.
“Give the boy a minute, I’d really like to hear this.” They were all laughing at Nick and he knew it but it didn’t make him mad the way it usually did when he could tell people were laughing at him because he knew that these people didn’t mean him any harm.
“Okay here it goes……….Hey Baby, you know I’ve only got twenty four hours to live and my last wish is to spend every minute of it with you.” Kara’s jaw dropped at the insanely stupid line that Nick delivered in a fake deep voice.
“Oh my Lord!” She gasped “And women actually fall for that crap? They must be blondes right?”
“Hey,” He pointed at his spiky blonde tipped hair “We blondes take offense to that remark.” Rising from his seat Kara’s Grandfather shook his head a smirk on his heavily lined face.
“All I can say son is with lines like that it’s no wonder your still single!”
“Okay kids,” Kara’s Grandmother looked up to the darkening sky as the incredible smells of dinner drifted through the open porch screen door. “It’s time to eat.” Nick stood up following Kara’s Grandmother and Grandfather into the house with Kara bringing up the rear.
Walking into the house for the first time since the afternoon of her parents funeral Kara suddenly felt her pace quicken and her breathing become shallow as the memories of her mother and father came flooding back to her.
Putting a hand up to her throat she felt as if she were suffocating as she backed out the front hall and onto the porch unnoticed by Nick and her Grandparents.
She could smell her mother’s perfume.
She could hear her father’s laughter echoing from the fields.
She could hear them both calling her to come to dinner.
She could feel her sanity slipping away from her and it was painful.
Her Grandmother came through the door and onto the porch letting the screen shut behind her.
“Kara sweetheart what is it, what’s the matter.” She asked as Kara sat down on one of the wicker chairs dropping her head between her legs trying to breathe.
“I feel them Grandma.” She said between shallow breaths. Nick poked his head through the screen door his stomach growling loudly with hunger.
“Is everything okay?” He asked realizing quickly that it wasn’t.
“Nick sweetheart will you sit with Kara while I go and get her some water.” Kara’s Grandmother stood up and walked quickly back in the house as Nick ventured outside kneeling down on the porch beside Kara.
“Are you okay?” He asked running a hand down her cold and clammy arm. She shook her head.
“I thought I was,” She said gasping for air “I really thought I was but I can’t do this. I can’t.” Standing on wobbly legs she made her way down the steps and across the lawn.
“Kara.” Her Grandmother had returned to the porch a glass of water in her hands as she called out to her youngest Granddaughter.
“What’s the matter with her?” Nick asked watching Kara weave across the lawn into the orchards to the west.
“She’s suffering sweetheart.” Kara’s Grandmother stroked a hand over Nick’s slumped shoulder a tear in her eye. “She’s suffering and she won’t let anybody help her.”
* * *
Kara made her way through the orchard feeling the eyes of Nick and her Grandmother on her as she tried to find a place to hide. She had been working so hard to stay strong, to keep her feelings hidden away. And she thought that she was doing an okay job of it. She guessed that she should have realized that quitting her job and buying a plane ticket for Europe on a whim was the first sign that she wasn’t okay. Drinking herself into a stupor and sleeping with Roy must have been the second sign. And she now knew that this feeling of sheer terror and lonliness that rattled around in her now was the third sign. Dropping to her knees she felt a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m here Kara.” Nick knelt beside her rubbing a hand along the small of her back in comforting circles.
“You don’t understand Nick my life isn’t what it seems.” She said lowering herself to the ground, her face pressed into the cold dirt.
“I understand more then you know.” He replied lying beside her as the sunset ebbed and then faded below the horizon.