Pulling up the drive into Nicks’ garage a calm feeling came over me and I felt instantly like I was home. He stubbed out his cigarette into the ashtray and turned to smile at me. I didn’t nag him about the smoking or the ashtray full of butts because I knew that it was something he needed right now and I was not going to deny him of that. I smiled back and reached for my door handle.
“Nope.” He said climbing out of his car and jogging around to my side to open the door. “I will be waiting on you hand and foot from now on so you can kiss your independence goodbye.” He took my hand and helped me down onto the runner board then he put his hands around my waist and lifted me the rest of the way to the ground. We walked hand in hand to the door that led to the house and he closed the garage door behind us. Punching in the security code he waited for the three short beeps and the one long one and then opened the door.
“You set the alarm for once.” I teased walking inside.
“I’ll be setting the alarm from now on.” He said seriously “The cameras too so I will give you the new codes. I had them changed today.” Closing the door behind us he repeated the process of setting the alarm and waited for the beeps to signal that everything was okay.
We were greeted at the door by Nick’s menagerie of animals along with my own Maltese dog, Winchel, a Christmas present from A.J. the year before. Winchel sniffed around my feet and then sat back on her haunches and whimpered.
“What’s the matter girl?” I stooped to pick her up but she leaped out my reach and ran beneath the kitchen table. Nick hadn’t noticed the dogs’strange behavior he had already dropped his keys onto the kitchen bar along with a bag containing a bottle of pain medication we had picked up at the pharmacy for me, and was rummaging around in the fridge for something to eat.
“Do you want something? I had the place stocked with all of your favorites.” He leaned down lower and rested his weight on one foot while he thumped out a tune on the side of the refrigerator door. I pulled out a chair and sat up to the bar, glancing at the stack of mail on his counter that he had yet to go through. It had really piled up since I’d been in the hospital. It made me wonder what my stack at home must look like.
“I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“What?” My head shot up and I stared in Nicks’ direction. He was still digging around in the fridge. When he turned around he had a six pack of Cokes under his arm a container of dip in one hand and plate with what looked like cold pizza in the other.
“Huh?” He replied bumping the door shut with his hip.
“What did you just say?”
“I didn’t say anything.” He looked at me puzzled as he dropped the container of dip onto the counter and set the plate of pizza beside it. “Why what did you think I said?” I shook my head and waved him off.
“Nothing. What have you got there?” I slid off of the chair and came up beside him taking the six pack out from under his arm and pulling off a Coke for him.
“Lunch.” He smiled down at me and than stooped down to grab a bag of chips from one of the cupboards below him. I admired him for trying to pretend that things were normal when both of us knew that they were far from it.
I had been admitted inpatient for one week with five broken ribs a fractured right wrist, three broken bones in my left hand, a concussion, and numerous other cuts and lacerations to quote the chart at the foot of my hospital bed. There had been lengthy consultations with Dr. Jamison and Dr. Sanchez who had both on separate occasions pleaded with me to seek counseling as well as file a police report. I refused both.
They said that they were required by law to report the incident and I told them that I would lie and take my story back that I had confided in both of them. I told them that I would say that I had fallen down the stairs. And in the end I won. Or did I lose? I guess only time would tell.
I made sure Nick was out of the room whenever the incident was discussed. I would send him on errands to get me toothpaste or clothing. Or some other meaningless task that would keep him out of the loop. I knew that my chances of getting Trevor on any of this were slim to none. When Nick had washed my blood away and cleaned up the scene he had unknowingly washed away the evidence that the police would need to make any sort of a credible file against Trevor. And besides I had never reported any of the previous incidents and no photographs had been taken so this would only be the beginning of the paper trail when I wanted it to just be the end.
Nick pulled the pieces of cold pizza apart and raised one to his mouth.
“Do you even know how old that is?” I asked wincing as it headed towards his open mouth.
“Nope. That’s the beauty of leftovers. It is like playing Russian Roulette you never know which time you are going to get the bullet!” With that he ripped off a huge chunk of the congealed cheese and pepperoni with a huge smile. After a few seconds of chewing he grabbed one of the Cokes and popped it open taking great huge gulps. “Oh my God,” he gasped. “That stuff is awful.” I laughed as I tipped the plate towards the garbage and the pizza slid off in one big hunk.
“I think that was the pizza you ordered two weeks ago.” He shuddered and stuffed a fistful of chips in his mouth
“This ought take the taste away.” He groaned. I walked around behind him and pulled down a glass filling it with water and ice cubes.
“I’m going to go and shower. I feel like I haven’t had a decent shower in weeks.” I tore open the bag of medication, glanced at the instructions and popped the cap off shaking two yellow pills into the palm of my hand.
“I’ll be right up to help you.”
“It’s okay Nick. I’ll be fine. It’s just a shower.” Stopping I placed a hand on his cheek and he leaned down and kissed my forehead. Dropping the two pills in my mouth I swallowed them down.
“The intercoms are on, if you need me just call.” He smiled, I smiled. God we had been doing a lot of smiling lately. “Here wait,” he wiped his hands on a dishtowel and grabbed my bag. It was a bag he had purchased for me while I was at the hospital. He had loaded with sweet smelling lotions body sprays, a pretty nightgown and some slippers for me to wear while I was inpatient. He had also bought me some panties and bras and a new outfit and shoes for the journey home. I smiled as I followed him up the stairs, thinking about the story he told me when he’d given me the bag. How he had gone into Victoria’s Secret to pick most of it out pointing to one of salesgirls and telling them that “she’s that size” and “likes things that smell like fruit” so that they could help him pick the right items.
He had then gone over to The Gap and done the same thing. Sitting on the sales counter while they ran around grabbing items for him like he was a King. But one thing he had picked out on his own. A sterling silver bracelet to replace my favorite bracelet that I had lost that night. This bracelet was pure Nick. Funky with a few charms dangling off of it, a starfish, a seashell and a seahorse. I wore it now and took comfort in the jingling it made when I walked.
* * *
We went up the back stairway to the second floor and down the hall towards the master bedroom. I hesitated for a brief second before following him into the room. Wondering what kind of memories it would bring.
The first thing I noticed was that the carpet had been cleaned and the duvet cover on the bed was new. Just plain Sand colored corduroy with throw pillows that matched. Nick slung the bag on the bed and hopped up beside it, dangling his long legs off the edge of the raised bed.
“Look you might as well know,” he began “ I’ve hired someone. A guy to shadow you around whenever you go out. And when you are here he will be here too to guard the house and whatnot.” He flipped the hair out of his eyes and continued. “I have some commitments that I have to take care of. And a lot of them you can come with me on, but some of them are business and I have to go by myself. I need to know that you are taken care of.” Winchel came running into the room followed by Nick’s newest member to the family Doc the little chocolate Lab puppy. The two scrambled around the floor and then followed after each other under the bed.
I bit the inside of my cheek, and lowered my eyes. He grabbed the remote from the bed turned on the t.v. and flipped to MTV. It was a nervous habit he had developed over the years. Whenever he didn’t want to discuss something with me, or one of the guys or his family he would turn on the t.v. and pretend to watch whatever was on. After a full minute of silence he pointed the remote at the t.v. shut it off and tossed the remote to the foot of the bed.
“Look, it’s for your own good. I know that you said you could take care of yourself but look at you…” his words tapered off. I had not looked at myself since that last check in the mirror before meeting Trevor at the club one week before. I had cleverly gone out of my way to avoid every mirror and surface that could shine my reflection back at me since entering the hospital. “I didn’t mean to say that Beck.” The dogs rolled out from beneath the bed and darted out the door.
“I’m going to go and take my shower now.”
“Beck.”
“It’s okay,” I shook him off. “It will all be okay.” Turning I walked into the master bathroom and shut the door behind me.
* * *
I rested my forehead against the closed door and took a few deep breaths. I could do this. The first week would be the hardest. It always took a few days after Trevor had delivered me one of my “punishments” to get back on my feet. Granted he had never hurt me so bad before. But why should this time be any different. Right?
Turning I avoided eye contact with the large mirror over the sink and walked right to the shower. It was a beautiful shower, eighty square feet with glass bricks enclosing two sides and the other two sides were one way glass that overlooked the ocean. The first time I showered in it I felt so strange standing their naked with floor to ceiling glass overlooking the beach and the water. You could have sworn that anybody out on the private section of beach, for residents of Nicks’ gated community only, could see you standing their in the buff lathering up your hair. But after much reassurance from Nick And him walking me down to the beach below the house one morning while Kevin was taking a shower, to show me that you couldn’t see a thing but mirrored glass reflecting the ocean, I was convinced it was safe.
I kicked off my sandals and peeled off the rest of my clothing, except for my new bracelet, which I left on and stepped into shower. Closing the heavy glass door behind me I turned on the water and let the hot water run all over my body. As the streams of water cascaded down my shoulders and arms winding its’ way down to my legs I was aware of the bruises that decorated my flesh. It was hard not to find a spot that didn’t have some large purple and blue mark and my wrists looked as if they had been tattooed with Trevor’s fingerprints around them. I tried to be careful of the cast on my right wrist and the tape that held my right hand and ribs in place. Turning around I faced the ocean and watched the seabirds dip and weave in the clear blue sky.
I watched a man jog by with two large dogs at his side. Every so often he would grab a large stick and toss it a little ways out into the surf while one or both of the dogs would bound after it, joyously kicking up their heels in the water to be the first to the prize. A few sailboats dotted the horizon and a couple of girls on waverunners buzzed in for a closer look at Nick’s house. I was sure they were fans who had found out the location from some local. They stopped the waverunners and bobbed around for a second, staring at the incredible beach house before starting them up and circling around for a closer look. I turned to see where the guy with the dogs had gone when I caught sight of a lone figure standing to the right facing the house. The figure stood there with arms at his side’s legs slightly parted and feet dug into the sand. As soon as I caught sight of him he moved in closer and stopped again. He wore a pair of black swim trunks with a denim shirt and a black baseball cap pulled down low on his face. It was as if he could see me staring at him.
Stepping forward out of the water I walked to the edge of the shower and put my palms against the glass to brace myself. The figure mimicked my movement, his palms also splayed out in front of him bracing himself against nothing. Pushing my wet tangled hair back from my face I looked down rubbed my eyes and looked back up. The figure had removed his baseball cap and was smiling up at me. Trevor.
“Jesus.” I jolted back and fumbled through the water for the shower door handle. Glancing back over my shoulder he was standing in the sand and laughing. “Oh my God.” I pulled on the shower door when all I really needed to do was push, finally I realized my error and gave the door a mighty shove, tripping out into the bathroom I ran for the intercom on the far wall.
“Nick,” I pushed down the first button then the second third “Nick, Nick where are you.”
“I’m in the t.v. room.” Came his casual reply.
“Nick, Trevor is on the beach. He is right outside.” I yelled.
“Stay where you are.” He shouted back and then the intercom went dead.
* * *
I grabbed a towel from the stack on the vanity and wrapped it around me, running through the bedroom and out into the hall. I took off for the stairs passing by the railing that overlooked the first floor. Looking down I could see that the front door was wide open. I grabbed onto the banister and ran down the stairs looking to my left and right for any signs on Nick. He was gone.
Holding the towel tightly around me I ran through the t.v. room. The t.v. was on and cartoons played loudly on the big screen. There was an open bag of chips on the table and the half eaten container of dip along with a can of coke that was tipped over, liquid running over the glass top coffee table onto the carpet. I kept on going through the diningroom into the kitchen. Throwing open the french doors that lead out onto the deck I ran to the edge just in time to see Nick running up the beach.
He was shirtless in a pair of shorts his head thrown back as he pushed his way up and around the bend kicking up sand behind him. Then I lost sight of him. Turning I ran back through the house and up the stairs, shedding the towel on my way. I stopped at his dresser and grabbed one of his shirts and threw it on and then retrieved a pair of panties and Levis from my bag on the bed. Reaching for his cell phone that was carelessly tossed on one of the couches I punched in 911 and went back the way I had come. This time I went out the open front door, cell phone in hand. I wasn’t watching where I was going as I took the front steps two at a time and suddenly I smacked right into something hard, sending me flying back on my rear, and the cell phone sailing through the air.
“Shit.” I cursed shaking it off and looking up.
“Becks what are you doing?” Kevin.
He stood there above me looking down with a confused look on his face. I pushed myself up and grabbed on to his shirtfront. “Nick,” I said out of breath, pointing towards the beach “he is after Trevor.” Kevin didn’t waste any time he pulled away from me and took off around the back of the house shouting over his shoulder,
“Call the God damned police.” What the hell did he think I had been trying to do? I dropped to my knees on the lawn and fumbled around beneath the flowering bushes where the cell phone had flown. Lying down flat on my stomach I winced from the pain, my ribs were very tender despite the tape on them.
I could see the bright orange face plate on the phone, I tried to make myself longer so that I could reach it, but it was too far into the center of the foliage. Rolling over I pushed myself up and ran back into the house. I went for the cordless phone on the front hall table and punched in 911. There was no sign of the dogs anywhere only the sounds of Sponge Bob Square Pants filled the house.
“911 Emergency.”
“Send someone, quickly please.” I barked into the phone looking over my shoulder to the opened front door.
“What is your emergency ma’am.”
“I…. They’re…” how the hell did I explain? I was tongue tied and confused. “I just need help.”
“Are you hurt?”
“What?”
“Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance ma’am?” I could hear the woman’s hands clicking on a keyboard on the other end.
“My boyfriend is chasing my ex-boyfriend.” I sputtered out, thinking how stupid and teenager that sounded.
“So you have one boyfriend chasing another boyfriend?”
“Oh my God, this is ridiculous,” I pawed at my wet hair that was annoyingly stuck to my cheeks and forehead. “LOOK,” I got loud “JUST SEND HELP!” I gave her Nicks address, which she repeated back and then I threw the phone down and debated what to do next.
Nick told me to stay put. The logical thing to do was to shut and lock the front door and wait for the police to arrive. I had never been one to act on logic though. Otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten into this mess with Trevor in the first place.
Ignoring every instinct that I had I took off out the front door and around the side of the house towards the beach.
* * *
I wound my way down the rock path to the opened iron gate that led to the sand. Half-jogging I held onto my side where my ribs were aching and headed in the direction I had seen Nick go. Looking up I could just make out two figures coming back around the bend.
Nick and Kevin were walking slowly, Kevin’s arm was around Nick’s shoulder for support and he was hobbling on one leg. The dogs swarmed around them barking and growling for attention. As I got closer to them I noticed that Kevin’s right knee was torn up and bleeding.
“Beck I told you to stay in the house.” Nick shouted pointing. “What are you doing?” As I got even closer to him I reacted without thinking. With two hands I shoved him hard in the chest. He lost his balance a little and Kevin wobbled too.
“What are you doing?” Nick said regaining his balance.
“You said it was safe, you said that no one could see in that shower.” I yelled waving my hands in the air like a crazy woman.
“No one can.”
“Well he saw me Nick, he saw everything I was doing!” They both just stared at me like I’d lost my mind.
“Becks that is impossible.” Kevin stopped, looking at me with concern in his eyes.
“Oh is it Kevin? Were you here, did you see him out here? He was copying me, he was doing what I was doing in that shower. Trevor saw me.” I was screaming now. “He was laughing at me!”
“Beck calm down,” Nick reached for me but I kept on screaming.
“I’m not safe here, I’m not safe anywhere. He saw me, he saw me, he…” Nick reached out and grabbed me into a bear hug turning me around.
“Becka look, just look.” He yelled holding me tightly as he pointed in the direction of the house. “He couldn’t see you, nobody could see you.” I looked up struggling to break free. And I realized through my tears that all I could see on the second level of the house where the bathroom was, was mirrored glass. Nothing but mirrored glass reflecting the birds over the ocean.
“The police are here.” Kevin broke the silence as sirens wailed up above us from the house. Nick slowly let me go from his tight embrace and looked at Kevin.
“You called the police?”
“I told Becks to call them.”
“Shit.” He wiped the perspiration from his forehead with the back of his hand and pulled Kevin’s arm back over his shoulder. “Well c’mon then we might as well go and talk to them.”
“Becka c’mon.” Nick waved his free arm around behind him and I took his hand letting him pull me to him. He hooked his arm over my shoulder and gave me a squeeze. “We’ll just tell the police what you saw. It will be okay.”
“What I saw? You didn’t see him?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I must have gotten out here too late. I saw someone running up around the point. Whoever it was climbed the rocks and took off down the street but by the time I got up there they were gone. ”
“Kevin did you see anybody?”
“No Becks. I slipped climbing up the rocks after Nick and tore my leg open. I couldn’t keep going.” We were met at the iron gate by two police officers.
“Is one of you Nickolas Carter?”
“I’m Nick.” Nick reached out to shake the officer’s hand.
“You the owner of this house?”
“Yes sir.” The officers surveyed the three of us. I am sure we made quite a picture. Me with my beaten face and bruised body, Kevin with his torn up knee and Nick all sweaty and out of breathe.
“Is everybody here okay?” The taller officer asked, pulling his two-way radio out of his back pocket and listening to the dispatch that crackled out instructions on the other end. All three of us said yes like we were children being scolded. The two officers turned and walked back up the path towards the house and we followed along with the dogs that scampered past everybody and up the side lawn.
* * *
Once up to the house you could see there were two more police cars out front with their lights on, along with a security car from the community and a couple of gawking neighbors who had gathered at the curb. Walking in the front door we were greeted by officers milling around the house, and one checking out the high tech security system on the wall inside the front hall.
“Why don’t you three have a seat and tell us what is going on please.” A female officer walked into the front hall from the livingroom, signaling for some of the other officers to follow us into the t.v. room.
Nick, Kevin and I all plopped down onto the sectional sofa two officers sat across from us on the love seat and a few more just leaned against the walls or stood around the room. Nick stooped to retrieve the remote control from the floor where it was marinating in the spilled Coke. He shook it out and pointed it at the t.v. turning it off.
“The water upstairs.” I said, remembering that I had left the shower running.
“I took care of it.” The female officer answered retrieving her pen and notebook from her back pocket.
“Miss are you the one who placed the call to 911?”
* * *
“Okay that was a mess.” I awoke to the sound of a basketball bouncing and Nick’s voice drifting up through the open deck door from the basketball court below.
“That’s putting it mildly.” Kevin answered. Sliding out of bed my head was pounding. The sound of a basketball bouncing didn’t help it. I walked to the deck and quietly slid the glass door open a little more.
“I had no idea she was in such bad shape man, she looked like a fucking jigsaw puzzle.” Kevin’s voice was sad. “If I would have known it was that bad I never would have left here that night. I would have called the police and forced her to file a report.” Ah so that explained the heated argument that I remembered hearing parts of that night.
“Look, you know you can’t force Beck to do anything. And I wouldn’t let you see her man. I did what I thought was right at the time.” Nick stopped bouncing the basketball. “Did you see the look on the officers faces when she came up the walk. I know they think I did that to her.” Stepping out onto the deck I strained to see them through the slats in the deck floor. Nick stood with the basketball tucked under his arm, shaking his head. Kevin sat in a deck chair off to the side with a bag of ice on his knee. “If I would have caught him today I would have killed him. I mean it Kev, I totally would have killed him.” Nick pumped faked at Kevin who flinched and then swished the basketball through the hoop.
“What good would that have done. Then you would be in jail.” Kevin paused. “Besides are you sure he was even out there today Nick?” As the ball rolled towards him Nick scooped it up and twirled it on his middle finger.
“What do you mean?”
“You said that she had a couple of pain killers before she went upstairs, and that she hadn’t eaten today. Not to mention she had a concussion and just spent a week in the hospital. She’s been through a lot of trauma, maybe she just thought she saw him?” Kevin pulled the bag of ice off of his knee, inspected the gaping wound and replaced it.
“I don’t know man, I don’t know what I think? All I know is that I love her Kev, and if she says she saw him out there I am going to believe her.” Kevin hooked his hands behind his head and reclined in the chair.
Driving at the basket Nick slam dunked the ball and swung for a second from the rim before letting go. “For a year I let that son of a bitch pound on her and didn’t do a thing. That’s never going to happen again. Never.”
“She said he wasn’t hitting her.” Kevin leaned down and grabbed the bottle of beer that was by his foot and took a long drink.
“Oh like we didn’t all know he was doing that to her. C’mon Kev. All those bruises. And when her arm was dislocated last summer and she said that she slipped and fell in the parking lot at the mall? Give me a break. We were too busy touring and promoting the album. We all knew and no one wanted to get involved.”
“That is bullshit,” Kevin barked slamming his beer bottle down as Nick retrieved the ball and slammed it again. “Do you think I would let anything happen to that girl if I could have helped it. You know how we all feel about Beck.” He was shouting in Nick’s direction. Nick had his back to him as he dribbled the ball in between his legs and out again.
“I dunno Kevin. I just don’t know.” Kevin swiped his beer bottle back up and took a longer drink and then another until the beer was gone.
“We all screwed up man. And Becka paid the price. She could have died.” Kevin paused at Nick’s words, as did I realizing how true they were.
“I think, I…Well, I know that if…” Kevin kept trying to get his thoughts out while Nick continued to dribble.“Stop bouncing the God damned ball Nick. You’re driving me crazy. I need to talk to you about this and all you want to do is play basketball. Doesn’t anything get to you?”
At that Nick dropped the ball, letting it roll off his fingertips across the court.
“You don’t think this gets to me? I am bouncing that God damned ball so that for one second I don’t have to think about what that fuck did to her. I have sat in that hospital for the last week watching her flinch in her sleep because she thinks he is beating her. I have watched her go from a beautiful woman to a pale frightened child who looks over her shoulder everytime she hears the smallest noise. I hold her hand when she walks passed a mirror, hoping that I can give her the courage to face her fears. Yes Kevin, contrary to popular belief some things do get to me.” He walked to the basketball and kicked it, hard so that it ricocheted around the court knocking over Kevin’s beer bottle. And then he fell back against the fence his head in his hands. I watched him with tears in my eyes as he slid down the chain links to a sitting position and started to sob. Kevin got up slowly and limped over to him. Putting a hand on top of Nick’s head.
I backed up into the house and carefully slid the deck door closed. Then I went to the nightstand where the bottle of pain pills were, shook two into my hand and swallowed them back. Climbing under the covers I pulled them over my head and let sleep take me away.
* * *
When I woke up it was dark. I could hear the ocean lapping at the shore and feel the cool sea breeze coming in through the cracked window. Nick was pressed up against my back spooning me. His left arm pulled protectively around my waist. There was no mistaking the scent of beer and cigarette smoke on his breath. I knew that he and Kevin had probably gotten good and drunk after the conversation I had overheard between the two of them.
His hand twitched ever so slightly so I covered it with my own hand stroking his long fingers. He told Kevin that he loved me. He had never said those words to me before. We had often said, “love ya” when we hung up the phone with each other. Or when we went our separate ways after a party or get together. But we had never actually said, “I love you.”
Loosing his grip on me I slowly rolled over to face him. In the soft glow of the moonlight I traced my fingertip around the curve of his eyes, the roundness of his cheeks and the fullness of lips. The corner of his mouth twitched a little into a semi smile and then settled back into the straight line of sleep. I knew that I had always loved him. From the first time we met, there was chemistry. And Nick did something to me that no one had been able to do before. He made my stomach have butterflies. Knowing I had caused him any pain hurt my heart.
I pulled back from him a little and his brows turn inward, his mouth went into a frown. Stopping for a second I watched his features relax again. He mumbled something, then licked his lips and began mumbling again,
“I won’t let him hurt you.”
The words were barely audible but I was able to piece together what he was saying.
“I won’t let him hurt you.”
“Please don’t be mad at me…please…” a tear glistened in the corner of his eye and then fell down his cheek onto the pillow. I put a hand on his cheek cupping it there.
“Shhhhh.” I whispered. “Nicky it’s not your fault.” I leaned into him whispering the words into his parted lips. “It’s not your fault.” Another tear slid down his cheek and then another.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…. Please don’t be mad at me.“ His voice was husky with sleep. I kissed his lips tenderly and stroked his face until he finally drifted back to sleep.
I watched the digital clock on Nicks nightstand rotate forward until twenty minutes had passed and then I scooted myself back and sat up, careful not to move the bed too much as I slid off of it and out of the room, closing the bedroom door gently behind me.
* * *
The house was dark and quiet. The man Nick had hired to “protect” me would not arrive until the next morning. His plane had been grounded in Denver due to mechanical problems. Kevin wanted some of the bands bodyguards to come to Nicks house. But after a long discussion with the community security guards, and promises of extra patrolling by police officers of Nicks property until things could be worked out in the morning seemed to appease everyone. Everything was discussed and worked out before the police left.
No mention was made of the fact that Trevor had beaten me, there were only hints. So it was listed as “stalking.” The female officer had pulled me aside at one point and tried to get me tell her about what was really going on but I was tight lipped. I was still unable to even recall the whole horrible evening in my own mind. I evaded her more probing questions dancing around them like a skilled veteran of physical abuse.
Walking to the top of the stairs I was focused on the shadows that danced down the staircase wall. Once comforting shadows had given away to menacing figures that reached out for me and played with my mind as I walked down the stairs one slow step at a time. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and glanced right to the large beveled mirror in the front hall.
One step-two steps-three steps-four…
Now I was standing in front of the mirror staring at my bare feet. My hand reached out slowly to the pull chain on the lamp that sat on the table below the mirror. I pulled too softly at first so I tried again and the bulb flashed on.
A soft amber glow lit the hall.
Raising my chin slowly my eyes fluttered up and I was greeted with my reflection.
“Oh Becka.” I said the words but no sound came out.
With my left hand to brace me on the table I let my right hand explore the tracks and trails of stitches across my face. They dipped and twisted like a strange roadmap all over my flesh. Some of the trails disappeared into bruises that were a murky turquoise with accents of black while others just wound into each other and stopped. It was like looking at a stranger, or watching some awful movie that I couldn’t turn off.
I don’t know how long I stood there searching for something familiar in the face that stared back at me. Even my eyes, which had always been a comforting shade of pale green, like my favorite security blanket I had carried around as a child, seemed somehow different. Darker and without any shine.
Soon my gaze drifted away from my own reflection to the reflection of the security panel over my right shoulder.
Red light, red light, red light, red light, red light, green light, red light, red light….
Green light
Turning I fell back against the table and regained my balance. Green light. I remember Nick explaining to me, after the police left, that the house was secure when all the lights shone red. He had gone over the new codes with me showing me how to set the alarm and cameras. He had given me a piece of paper with everything detailed on it that he in turn had placed on the kitchen cork board by the phone so that I would have everything handy until I memorized it. I distinctly remembered that he had said that every light would shine red when the house was secure.
Moving forward I read the lettering below each button. Back door, deck doors, upstairs, downstairs, french doors, front door, garage, beach gate…..
Front door
Swallowing hard I looked towards the front door. It was slightly ajar.
“I’ve got a surprise for you…..”
A shiver crept up my spine. I walked slowly one foot in front of the other until I was almost to the door. My foot kicked something that skidded across the stone tiles. My eyes drifted down to a small box wrapped in white paper and tied with a white bow. Not taking my eyes off the front door I knelt slowly down and picked it up. My fingers quickly worked the bow and then tore off the paper down to the bright red box inside. Opening the lid there was a tiny piece of paper. Scrawled across it were the words
THE GAME HAS JUST BEGUN
Pulling up the top layer of cotton in the box I was staring down at my old silver bracelet that I had not seen since the night of the beating…………