I swept in and out of traffic wildly, punching at the radio stations looking for something decent to listen to, to compliment such a beautiful day. My hair whipped wildly around my face, everytime I went to take a drink out of my water bottle I ended up with a mouthful of hair. Gripping the wheel with my knees I continued to steer while grabbing up my hair in my hands and tying it in a messy knot at the nape of my neck.
“Good hell woman, what are you trying to do get us killed?” Dennis growled from the passenger seat, checking to make sure his seat belt was securely fastened.
“Oh you love it!” I laughed fishing around in the console box for my sunglasses while still maintaining a steady speed of 55 mph. Spotting a gas station I quickly zipped across two lanes and slid into a stall.
“Jesus, I ‘m waiting for a pit crew to run up and check your tires.” Dennis deadpanned, unlatching his belt and sliding out of the Jeep. “You are such a female driver.”
“Ha ha.” I shouted after him climbing out and grabbing a pump as he disappeared inside the GasN’Go Mart.
Dennis and I had developed a great brother and sister bond over the last month. It amazed me how in tune with one another we were and how we could feed off of each other like we had been friends our whole lives instead of a mere thirty days. It was exactly thirty days ago today in fact since Dennis had shown up on Nicks doorstep announcing that he would be my new “personal protection” which was just a fancy term for babysitter in my book. I fully intended to resent the intrusion into what was once my fairly normal life. But I instantly liked the guy and the feeling of safety he gave me was worth more to me then anything in the world. I shared everything with him. I even told him things about Trevor that I had not confided in to anybody. He was understanding and non-judgmental and seemed truly interested in me as a person and not just a thing he was paid to watch out for. He and Nick had also grown close. Nick had hired him on as a personal employee giving him full access to the house and a bedroom downstairs to live in full time. They talked about the next tour and Nicks’ plan to hire Dennis on as one of his bodyguards.
Pulling the pump out of the tank once it clicked off I pushed it back into its’ cradle and grabbed my wallet from the front seat. I met Dennis on his way out of the store, arms loaded with donuts a Super Sized drink two hot dogs slathered in mustard in a carrier and a magazine tucked beneath his arm.
“Hey hot stuff, I already picked up the tab on the gas.” He greeted on his way back to the jeep.
“No way are you eating that crap in my car.” I moaned following behind him. He just ignored me as usual and climbed in with a big bellowing laugh that made me smile. Dropping my sunglasses back onto my face I climbed in and fastened my seatbelt.
“Thought you might enjoy a little light reading.” Just as I pushed the keys into the ignition Dennis flung the People magazine onto my lap. “Check out page twenty two.” He said with a smirk as he sunk his teeth into one of the hot dogs.
I flipped to page twenty-two, making a mental note to go back and read the review I passed on the new Brad Pitt movie.
Nick Carter in Love… It’s official. “Backstreet Boy Nick Carter is in love” declared a close friend of the blonde singer for the boy band. Carter 21, has been spending all of his free time of late with Rebecka Clark, 25 co- owner of Tampas trendy clothing boutique Bijoux.
Los Angeles born Clark who is well known and respected in fashion circles and recently had her shop named in INSTYLE magazine as one of “Top Ten Places to See and be seen,” has been pursued by some of the wealthiest young bachelors in Florida. But it seems as though she has chosen Carter as her latest companion.
The couple who met in 1996 at a New York fashion event when both of their stars were on the rise had remained close friends until recently when they were spotted trading kisses and cuddling at numerous Florida nightspots, leading to speculation of a budding romance.
Insiders for both camps confirm that the two have taken up residence in Carters' beach house and are happily planning a future together. Carter, who has been known to date blonde leggy models and singers over the years, is absolutely “smitten” by the beautiful, smart and sassy UCLA graduate and business entrepreneur. What lies in the future only time will tell.
Next to the article was a full-page picture of Nick and me locked in an embrace walking down the beach. We looked tanned and happy as I smiled up at him and he was planting a kiss on my forehead. I tried to hide my grin as I tossed the magazine back to Dennis.
“Nice article.” I deadpanned starting up the car.
“Oh you loved every word of it Smart and Sassy.” He said fake gagging as I pulled into reverse “You two kids make me wanna puke!” Throwing back my head with laughter I yanked the car into drive making Dennis slop his drink all down the front of him as we took off for the shop.
* * *
Bijoux. How I loved my shop. Pulling up to the curb I admired my little boutique as if I were seeing it for the first time. The beautiful brick façade with its large arched front doors. On either side of the doors were grand green topiaries in white washed planter boxes with their little mauve buds in full bloom, matching the mauve sign above the door with the antique copper letters spelling BIJOUX.
I inhaled deeply, “Smell that beautiful air.”
“What, it’s the same air we smelled five seconds ago.” Dennis rolled his eyes.
“No stupid,” I said poking him in the arm “really smell it.” So to humor me he took an exaggerated deep breath.
“Oh my God it is incredible, it is like I am breathing for the first time!” He yelled arms lifted to the sky. “God bless this store and the air around it for saving my life!”
“I knew you would see the light.” I said with a smile “This place is magical.”
I parked the Jeep out back and decided to use the front entrance. Dennis trailed behind me tossing what was left of his wrappers from his lunch into a dumpster we passed on the way out to the street. The sidewalks were alive with summer tourists, their arms filled with shopping bags of goodies. I couldn’t help but notice quite of few of the people had bags from Bijoux and it made me proud.
“So here it is the famous Bijoux.” Dennis said following behind me while keeping his eye on the people in the crowds.
“I’m home!” I squealed throwing open the door to the welcoming jingle of bells and walking inside.
* * *
The first thing I saw when I walked in the door was Kat. Wonderful Kat. She was helping a customer pick out a scarf. As she spoke she waved her hands around in incredibly large gestures, blinking her wide green eyes as she spoke, the customer hanging on her every word. Finally the woman pulled three scarves from the table and followed Kat up to the counter.
Kat was a master salesperson, my best friend and my right hand. We’d opened Bijoux together right out of college with some money her mother had left her in a trust when she died. It had been a month since I had seen her but it seemed like ten years. My stomach tightened at the realization of the lies I had told her when we had spoken on the phone briefly on the phone almost four weeks before. I had spun tales of exhaustion and needing a break, and I had asked her to take care of the store while I took some much needed time off to rest. She easily agreed, even recommending a spa where she thought I could get some great pampering and relaxation. Friends since highschool I had always been able to tell Kat anything and everything. That was until Trevor had come along. Once he entered my life my open book policy on discussing things changed. There were too many things that I couldn’t say or I would put people in danger. But things would be different now. The lies and stories could stop and I was on the way back to being the old me again.
While Kat rang up the sale I wandered around the store admiring the new displays and merchandise that had arrived since I had been gone. The summer line was truly magnificent, the store was alive with colors and patterns. While I took it all in Dennis wandered around behind me looking bored and restless. I hadn’t really given much thought to what he would do when I returned to work. Where he would sit and how he could look inconspicuous in a clothing boutique that catered to women? Just as I was about to address the issue with him Kat came running out from behind the counter.
“B,” she squealed with delight her arms outstretched as we fell into each other with hugs and giggles “you look gorgeous!” Holding me back from her she looked me over nodding her head. “The vacation did you good my friend! That and a little love.” I raised my eyebrows innocently as if I didn’t know what she was talking about.
“Don’t pull that innocent look with me Miss B. I saw People magazine, page twenty two. I always knew you and Nick would get together, you make a gorgeous couple. ” Looking sideways over my shoulder to Dennis I saw him smirking about the page twenty two comment. Kat followed my look to the big burly guy over my right shoulder and paused before pulling me into her and whispering, “Who’s the big guy?”
“Kitty Kat Kat,” I said using her nickname I had given her in highschool “I would like you to meet Dennis Arlen. Dennis this is Kitty Kat Kat McClain.” Dennis came forward with his hand outstretched and shook Kats hand.
“Do I have to remember the whole name, it is quite a mouthful?” He said with a smile. Kat snorted endearingly with laughter and pushed her red curls out of her face.
“No you can forget the McClain part, Kitty Kat Kat will do nicely thank you very much.” Just then a woman walked up to the counter with a chiffon floral blouse and matching capri pants.
“Oh Mrs. Jenkins, you decided to go with the floral. Good choice.” Kat kicked into seller mode and took long strides back to the counter to tend to the customer. It was then that my eyes caught site on the wrap counter behind her of a gorgeous bouquet of what looked to be at least four dozen long stemmed white roses, my favorite, in a beautiful crystal vase tied with a large ivory bow. I was grinning from ear to ear as I walked over sliding in behind Kat who was tying up the mauve bag with a raffia bow for Mrs. Jenkins, and picked up the heavy vase.
“These are incredible!” I inhaled their gorgeous scent “Kat you shouldn’t have.” Kat finished the sale and turned around.
“Oh I wish I could take credit sweetie, but I didn’t know you would be back today. They came this morning, I am assuming your Mr. Right sent them.” Reaching for the card that was tucked down in the center of the gorgeous buds Dennis came up along side of me and put his hand on mind.
“Why don’t you let me check that out first.” He said in his official “protector” voice. I laughed my eyes darting to Kat who stared at both of us with a confused look on her face.
“Why would he have to check your card out first? Who the hell is this guy?” Kat immediately went into protective mode.
“Kat, it’s fine. Dennis is just one of Nicks bodyguards. He just hangs out with me for fun, the guys all figure that some protection for family members or girlfriends is necessary. It’s no big deal.” I swiped the card from Dennis’s hand and strolled casually away from both of them. Flipping the card open I read, Baby Girl~ Good luck on your first day back. I am proud to call you mine.
I smiled tucking the card into the pocket of my skirt. It had been a long road back from the hell we had all been through over the last month but it was all going to be worth it. I was healing physically as well as emotionally and slowly Trevor was becoming a thing of the past. I had casually been placing random phone calls here and there to mutual friends and associates that Trevor and I had shared and no one had heard from or seen him in the last month. Many of them said that last they heard he had headed to New York to spend time with his mother, whose health was in decline due to MS.
Three days ago I even ditched Dennis and took my Jeep down past Trevor’s’ surfboard shop LUX to look for his car or a sign that he may be around but there was nothing. The shop was closed down. The following day I went by again to check that it wasn’t a fluke and again all the blinds to the once booming establishment were pulled, the CLOSED sign flipped over in the window.
I had a plan to cruise past his house at some point and also to go looking for the condo that he had taken me to the last night I saw him, but it was hard to shake Dennis, and when he wasn’t on my tail Nick was with me. So I would have to save my sleuthing for another time. I would need some kind of solid proof that Trevor had truly left town to feel one hundred percent at ease. Just then the jingle of the bells caught my attention and a group of customers came through the doors. Kat put on her welcoming smile and walked out from behind the counter as I slipped in the back office Dennis on my heals.
“Okay gimme.” He motioned with his hand towards my skirt pocket where I had put the card from the flowers.
“It’s from Nick, and it’s private if you don’t mind.”
"Give it here, I’m serious. I already caught hell last week when you went out on your little drive without me knowing where you were. I’m not going to catch hell for this.”
"How can you catch hell for this. I know that it is from Nick.” I whined. He motioned again for the card and I gave it over like a two-year-old in trouble, slapping it down in his palm and placing my hands on my hips.
Dennis read the note and turned the card around in his hand, inspecting the whole thing before giving it back to me. Then he took his cell phone out of his back pocket and punched some digits in.
“Who are you calling?” I asked tucking the card back into my pocket. He waved me off and walked to the other end of the office sitting on the sofa.
“Hey Nick, it’s me call me when you get this message.”
“Oh my God, you have to call and check in to ask him if he sent the flowers? This isn’t Mission Impossible!” As always Dennis just ignored my little rant and smiled at me, pushing the phone back into his pocket.
“Okay Miss Smart and Sassy, go ahead and do whatever it is you do. I will just blend into the background.” He reclined on the sofa rolling his eyes at the girly floral pattern that blended with the mauve painted walls.
“Couldn’t you just sit outside in the Jeep?” I flipped through a stack of papers on my desk that needed my signature or approval and then went through another stack of messages dealing them out into piles of importance as Dennis and I spoke.
“No I can’t just sit out in the Jeep. It is freaking one hundred and twenty degrees out there! I will just hang around in here.”
“Fine I’m not going to argue with you.”
“Fine.”
“Fine!” Sticking my tongue out at him on the way back out into the store I heard him laugh loudly as I went out to greet my customers.
* * *
The customers came in steady streams all day. Many of them were regular clients and then there were quite a few tourists and curiosity seekers who had read the complimentary article on us in INSTYLE magazine the month before. And then of course there were groups of teenage girls who came in to see if they could catch a glimpse of Nick.
It actually was quite cute the way some of them filed in the door wide-eyed and anxious looking over the store for any sign of him. When we approached them to ask if they needed any assistance they would smile shyly and shake their heads. While some of the more bold ones would step up and demand service from Nick’s “girlfriend.”
As I showed them the merchandise they would quiz me on my qualifications for being the “love of Nick’s life.” Did I know the songs he sang lead on? Could I quote his height, weight, birthplace etc. accurately? Did I know what each one of his tattoos stood for? By the end of the day we were all exhausted.
* * *
At 7:00 p.m. Kat sent Amelia, one of the girls who worked for us to the front doors to lock them and turn the closed sign over. But before she could get there I heard the bells jingle and looking up I saw Nick come through the doors like a magical breath of fresh air.
He stopped in the doorway and tugged on a sleeveless aqua blue T-shirt over his tanned bare chest as he greeted Amelia. She took him all in from the top of his spiky blonde hair to the tips of his beat up Converse. He swirled a sucker around in his mouth as he spoke to her, patting her on the shoulder, as he looked her right in the eye. His ease with people came from all the years of performing and getting down on a one on one level with the crowd. He was so approachable with that wide-open smile and sincere blue eyes.
I saw Amelia point back in the direction of the cash wrap where Kat and I leaned, exhausted, against the counter on our elbows. He nodded his head to Amelia and strode back towards us with a huge smile and open arms.
“Hey there cinnamon toast!” He greeted kissing the smattering of freckles on the bridge of my nose that had earned me that nickname so many years before. “How’s my girl?” I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed him tightly.
“You stink!” I laughed pushing him back, but he only held me tighter.
“I’ve been playing basketball and sweating all afternoon.” Finally I wriggled free of his stinky grasp.
“You also smell like smoke.”
“I’ve been smoking.” He said matter of factly. Ripping a wrapper off of another sucker and sticking it in his mouth along with the first one. “But I am trying to stop I swear.”
“Hey there.” Kat moved in for a quick hug and patted Nick on the cheek. “Don’t let her get away. Lord knows you have been chasing her long enough.” Nick grinned at Kat.
“Don’t worry Kitty Kat Kat. I know a good thing when I got it.”
“Good boy. At least you aren’t as stupid as that last asshole.” That was the first mention Kat made of Trevor since I walked in this store this morning. “He was a real piece of work.” Nicks mouth turned down into a frown and his eyes narrowed coolly at the mention of Trevor. Kat couldn’t have known what kind of response her remark would have gotten, she did not know about the abuse and she certainly did not know about the hospitalization. The last remains of it, a one-inch scar above my left eye and two smaller scars on my lip were hidden by carefully applied makeup and lipstick. Dr. Sanchez had done a remarkable job at saving my face.
"Thanks for the flowers babe.” I said trying to change the subject.
"Huh?” Nick followed me into the backroom where Dennis was sitting on the sofa with a magazine.
"Hey Nick, didn’t you get my message?” Dennis stood up shaking Nick’s hand. Nick slapped the pocket of his baggy shorts with a sigh.
“Shit I left my cell at home.” I grabbed my purse off of my desk and pointed to the fragrant roses that I moved to my desk so that I could enjoy them while I was working on the billing earlier in the day.
“Aren’t they gorgeous!” Nick looked the vase full of roses up and down and nodded his eyes shifting over to Dennis and back again to me.
“Did you get the card too?” He asked.
“Yes, it was wonderful.” I pulled the card from my pocket and handed it to him, not noticing the strange look that passed between Nick and Dennis as Nick slid the card into the pocket of his shorts. Grabbing my car keys from me Nick tossed them to Dennis.
“Den man you got the Jeep, we’re going in my car. There’s a get together at A.J.’s, so we’ll go in my car and you can meet us at home.” Dennis nodded and dropped his magazine to the coffeetable.
As I turned around to leave I didn’t see Nick pull the card from his pocket and pass it to Dennis. I was too busy soaking up the joy of my first day back at work.
* * *
“You know I love you right?” Nick lay in bed flipping through the television channels as I washed my face and brushed my teeth.
“Yes.” I called over my shoulder spitting toothpaste into the sink.
“Okay just wanted to make sure.” He called back. I could hear that he stopped on MTV and was watching some old Tom Green rerun.
“You know I love you too right?” I splashed water on my face and dried it with a towel.
“Yeah I know.”
As I came into the doorway I saw him roll onto his stomach and fish around in his nightstand. He came up with a bottle of pills which he quickly shook a few out into his hand and popped into his mouth. Then looking down at the bottle he shook a few more out into his palm and took those as well. Swallowing them he rolled onto his back as I ducked back into the bathroom unseen. I wondered what he was taking? I assumed it was aspirin or something. He had been complaining of headaches lately.
I waited a few minutes before going back out into the bedroom. By the time I climbed in bed Nick was sleeping, his hand twitching over the remote control that dangled from his fingertips. I looked up to see that he was watching Nickelodeon and it made me smile. He was still such a little kid at heart. I hoped that some things would never change about him.
* * *
I was awakened by the sound of a ringing phone
It split through the night making my heart jump. Grabbing for the phone on my nightstand I knocked something to the floor with a crash before coming up with the receiver.
“Hello.” I mumbled but it was only a dial tone. Somewhere a phone kept ringing. Pushing back the covers I plowed an elbow into Nicks back. “Nicky, I think its’ your cell phone.” He didn’t move. He was dead asleep, slightly snoring arms tucked beneath him as he slept face down a pillow over his head. “Nicky.” I tossed the pillow to the foot of the bed. He still didn’t even move his breathing was deep and uneven.
The ringing continued.
Climbing out of bed I headed in the direction of his closet where I thought it was coming from. I found his cell phone on the floor a pair of his shoes dumped on top along with a belt and his wallet. He was forever tossing his things into big heaps that we would have to wade through to find some missing item when he was looking for it. Grabbing the phone I squinted in the darkness to find the talk button.
“Hello.”
“Hey baby.”
“You must have the wrong number.”
“You are still just as stupid as ever.” The voice said with a throaty laugh. My hand started to shake but I managed to keep the phone pressed to my ear as I crawled across the room to where Nick lay sleeping in the bed.
“He’s out cold Becka,” the voice continued “It’s all those sleeping pills he has been taking. They do a body good don’t they? Did you know that the poor kid has been seeing a shrink once a week since I beat the shit out of you? I guess he blames himself, which is so stupid because we all know that you got what you deserved you stupid slut!”
“SHUT UP!” I screamed punching around on the keypad until I found the off button. How had Trevor gotten Nicks’ cell phone number? And what the hell was he talking about? Shrinks and sleeping pills? Turning on the lamp next to Nick’s bed I put both hands on his back and shook him over and over calling out his name. He mumbled a few times and then fell back into a sound sleep.
Pulling open the drawer to his nightstand I rifled through it, Gameboy, games, some receipts, a few photographs, a keychain from China, a bottle. Turning the bottle over I read the label.
Nickolas Gene Carter DOB 1-28-80 Ambien take when needed for sleep
The phone rang again. I pushed talk.
“That wasn’t very nice Becka. You are taking all of the fun out of this by hanging up on me.”
“Why won’t you just leave me alone?”
“ Did you like the flowers I sent? I know white roses are you favorite. Do you remember the last night we were together? Do you remember the white roses? No I don’t guess you do what with the concussion and all. There is probably a lot you don’t remember.” I just sat there, frozen the phone pressed tightly to my ear.
“How do you like the game so far Becka?” Well don’t you worry, its’ only going to get better.”
The bedroom door flew back making me jump.
"Becka give me the phone.” Dennis came storming into the room his hand out “Give me the phone now.” I held the phone out dropping it into his outstretched hand, while my other hand clutched tightly to the bottle of pills.
“Listen you son of a bitch,” he began. Then just as suddenly he stopped. Looking up I could see that Dennis was listening closely to whatever Trevor had to say on the other end. Then his face went pale as he dropped the cell phone and pulled his own phone from the waistband of his jeans. “We have to call an ambulance.”
“Why? I’m okay everything is okay. He’s just trying to scare me.”
“No Beck, everything is not okay. Nick isn’t okay.”
“What do you mean?” He pointed to the bottle of pills in my hand that I had pulled from Nick’s nightstand.
“Those aren’t sleeping pills.”
* * *
Dennis and I sat in the waitingroom at the hospital slumped into two chairs a table between us stacked with magazines. Ironically the one on the top was a Teen People with Nicks smiling face on the cover.
I fought back tears, checking the door everytime someone walked by, hoping that Kevin or A.J. would show up soon. I didn’t know how much longer I would be able to keep it together. I needed someone else there who could be strong. As if on cue I looked up to see Kevin coming through the door. His face was ashen his hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, sleep still in his eyes as he crossed the room and knelt before me hands on my knees.
“What the hell happened?” his voice was kind but worried, “where is he?” A.J. came in the room practically on Kevin’s heels. His eyes darted around nervously before settling on us. He walked quickly in our direction his hands nervously tapping his legs.
“What is going on? Where is he?” His words almost echoed Kevin’s’ to a tee. When I finally went to speak I lost it, breaking down into a quiver blubbering heap. I had never cried so hard in my whole life, not even the night Trevor put me in the hospital.
Through my tears I saw Dennis walk to the door of the waitingroom and close it. They had given us a private room to wait in after Dennis explained the situation and who Nick was. A.J. took the seat vacated by Dennis while Kevin still knelt in front of me looking up at me with sad pale eyes.
When he realized that I couldn’t talk he looked over his shoulder to Dennis.
“Denny man, what happened? Where is Nick now?”
“He’s in intensive care. He overdosed.”
“Overdosed, on what? He wasn’t doing drugs?”
A.J. sat forward clearing his throat. “Nick and Beck were at my house until almost 1:00 a.m. the strongest thing we had going there was some beer.” Kevin looked up at him eyebrows raised.
“I swear man.”
“He’s telling the truth.” I managed between sobs.
“He’s been having trouble sleeping.” Dennis lowered his voice even though it was only the three of us in the room. “He’s been going to a doctor and they prescribed him sleeping pills. Only the bottle didn’t have sleeping pills in it. The doctor who is treating him said that the pills were Ecstasy.”
Kevin closed his eyes and dropped his head shaking it, “I don’t understand. Where would he get Ecstasy from?”
“Nick didn’t know the pills were Ecstasy Kevin. Someone replaced the pills.” Dennis folded his arms over his chest and rubbed at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.
“You’re telling me that someone went into his house and switched the pills?” Dennis nodded.
“Who would do that?” Kevin continued to grill Dennis, but I was the one who answered that question.
“It was Trevor. And it wasn’t the first time he was in the house.”
* * *
While we waited for an update on Nicks’condition I was forced to spill my story. Starting with the first time Trevor raised his hand to me all the way up to the box with the bracelet that I had found in the foyer of Nicks house almost a month before. I cried until I thought I had no more tears left in me. I cried because I had dragged Nick into this, I cried because I felt so awful that he had needed to seek professional help to deal with a problem that I wouldn’t talk to him about because I just wanted it to go away. It never occurred to me how deeply it would affect those around me.
When the treating physician finally came in to speak to us things were bad. Nick had stopped breathing and gone into seizures. They were able to resuscitate him but he was still not conscience. Kevin left to call Nick’s mom and dad while Dennis went to call the police. I just sat numb in the chair next to A.J. who stared off into space.
* * *
The police arrived at the hospital a short time later and took statements. They agreed to handle the situation with delicacy due to Nicks’ celebrity status. I told them in detail everything I knew. A lot of it was circumstantial evidence right now as we had no proof that Trevor had ever been in the house, or touched those pills. I had thrown out the bracelet along with the box in the garbage the night I found it so that piece of evidence was gone. There were no abuse reports filed but there was the stalking report from the day I thought I had seen Trevor prowling around Nick’s house. Although again, there was no proof only what I believed I had seen, and that report contained the phrase “Miss Clark was on prescription pain pills and had not eaten all day. She also was suffering from a concussion….” So how credible that was going to be was anybody’s guess. Dennis and one of the officers left to go and check out the security camera videos from the last few weeks of Nicks’ property. Nicks own personal bodyguard was put on full time duty outside of his room along with hospital security.
Out of respect for Nick his diagnosis was being listed as “exhaustion” and his name was put on record as Gene Carter. I just prayed that if anybody recognized Nick, Kevin or A.J. that they would not phone in their reports to The Enquirer. That instead they would realize that this was a private matter and treat it as such. But you never could tell what people would do.
“I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“I don’t like surprises Trevor.”
“You’ll like this one.” He gave me another shove from behind down the narrow hallway. When we got to the end of the hallway he clamped his hand down on my right shoulder and spun me hard left guiding me into darkness.
“Where are we. Whose house is this.”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up. I can’t stand the sound of your voice anymore.” I could feel him leaning into my back, his breath was hot on my neck, his fingers digging into the flesh of my shoulder. A million images flashed through my mind.
Images of Trevor and when we first met. How handsome and sweet he was. How much everybody had liked him and how eager I was to like him too. I remembered the first time he laid his hands on me. It was on Valentines Day. We had only been dating for less than a month. He told me that I wasn’t enthusiastic enough about the gift he gave me. He first slugged me playfully in the arm and then a little harder. The third punch left a bruise with the exact indentation of his knuckles on my upper arm. When Nick called me that night from the road to wish me a Happy Valentines Day I told him I was really happy. I had finally found Mr. Right. Trevor was sitting beside me beaming as I tried to choose all of the right words.
The next images that came were of Nick and the beauty of a friendship that had turned into so much more. The night I told him that I was going to call it off with Trevor was the night he confessed his feelings for me. How I wished he would have said something sooner. Things would be so different now. As Trevor led me into a darkened room I wondered how things had gotten to this point? I did not know. But I was in too deep now to turn back. Nick couldn’t help me. My lies and stories had somehow turned on me and now I was going to pay the price.
“Hey Dennis,” Trevor said his words slurred with alcohol. “Where is the stupid lightswitch in this place….”
Fluttering my eyes open I looked around the room. A.J. was slumped down low in his chair asleep. His arms were folded across his chest, head lolled off to the side. In the corner was Kevin stretched out across a bank of chairs his eyes closed one arm tucked beneath his head like a pillow. Across from me was Dennis.
He was leaning forward elbows on knees, staring at me with an intense look.
“You were there.” I whispered.
“That’s right Becka. I was there.”
I stood up fast trying to find my voice to yell or scream but Dennis was up and across the room, his hand on my mouth as he pulled into the opposite corner from where Kevin lay sleeping.
“Just be quiet Becka. Don’t say a word and just listen to me.” We were backed into the shadows so nobody passing the waiting room could see us through the partially drawn blinds. The door was closed.
“He wasn’t supposed to take that many pills. I wouldn’t have let him die I swear that to you. Okay?” He stared hard into my eyes, neither one of us blinked. “They are never going to find any evidence that Trevor has done any of this. I have already made sure of that. It will be a wasted effort on your part to even try to get him thrown in jail.”
“ My suggestion to you as your friend,” I couldn’t help but laugh a little, beneath his hand that was pressed over my mouth, at the irony of his use of the word friend.
“That’s right I said friend, “ he continued “My suggestion to you Becka is to get the hell out of here. Just leave and don’t look back. Trevor isn’t going to stop until you and everybody you know pays for the pain he believes you put him through. Nick is just the beginning. Kat will be next, and so on and so on.” He looked up over my shoulder to Kevin and A.J. who were still sleeping soundly and then back at me.
“Do you understand?” I nodded.
“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt anybody. If you disappear I will too and this whole thing can be over.” I nodded again. Slowly he let his hand drop from my mouth. I backed away, never taking my eyes from him as I crossed the room towards the door. Dennis stayed in the shadows, I could only see the faint intense glow of his dark brown eyes watching me leave.
Once out the door I closed it softly behind me, hanging on to the door handle for a few seconds before finally letting it go. I wanted to go and see Nick one last time but I knew that I could not. Not now, and not ever. This was one game that I could not win, no matter how I played. Turning I passed the nurses station my eyes glued to the ground, the further I got down the hall the faster my pace until I was finally jogging at a slow clip to the elevators.
Once outside in the parking lot I ran to the line of cabs and jumped in the first one.
I never looked back.