Hey, we can make fun of our own section!!

Why don’t sax players like playing soprano?
There’s no place to hide your drugs.

Why did the lead alto player play so many wrong notes?
Because he kept ignoring the key signature- he thought it was a suggestion

What does a saxophone and a baseball have in common?
People cheer when you hit them with a bat.

What is the difference between a saxophone and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

How do you define perfect pitch?
Throwing an alto sax in the garbage without hitting the rim.

There is a man on a boat that is in a shipwreck. The boat crashes on a jungle island and the man is greeted by natives. In the distance, he hears the sound of drums. He asks what the drums are for and the chief answers, “The drums must not stop.” The man is forced to stay the night in the native’s village. All through the night, the drums keep on going so he got no sleep at all during the night. He got up the next morning and went to the chief again, begging him to know why the drums couldn’t stop. The chief answered, “Because when drum solo stop, sax solo start.”

Contrary to popular belief, the saxophones are percussion instruments meant to be beaten by hammers. Large hammers.

When should a saxophonist change his reed?
Whenever a difficult section comes up in the music score.

What is black and brown and looks good on a saxophonist?
A Doberman

What do you do to make a trombone sounds like a French horn?
Put your hand in the bell and miss all the notes!

How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but she’ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.

How do horn players traditionally greet each other?

1. “Hi. I played that last year.”
2. “Hi. I did that piece in junior high.”

What do you call a French Horn player that can actually get and stay in tune?
God

How do you know when a horn section is outside your door?
No one knows when to come in.

What is the range of a French Horn?
About 35 yards if you throw it real hard.

What’s the difference between a horn player and a director?
Two measures.

What’s the difference between a trumpet player and a French Horn player???
Trumpet players think that they are gifts from God. Horn players know they are.

The BEST bando joke EVER!

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