Miseria Cantare (The Beginning)
Nothing, from nowhere, I’m no one at all. Radiate. Recognize one silent call as we all
form one dark flame. Incinerate. Love your hate, your faith lost. You are now one of us.
The Leaving Song Pt. 2
Don’t waste your touch, you won’t feel anything. Or were you sent to save me? I’ve
thought too much, you won’t find anything worthy or redeeming. Yo he estado aqui
muchas veces antes y regreso to break down and cease all feeling, burn now what once
breathing. Reach out and you may take my heart away. Imperfect cry and scream in
ecstasy but what befalls the flawless? Look what I’ve built. It shines so beautifully! Now
watch as it destroys me. Y regreso aqui otra ves y comienzo to break down and cease all
feeling, burn now what once was breathing. Reach out and you may take my heart away. I
left it all behind, and never said good-bye. I left it all to die. I saw its birth. I watched it
grow. I felt it change me. I took the life. I ate it slow. Now it consumes me.
Bleed Black
I am exploring the inside. I find it desolate. I do implore these confines now as they
penetrate, “recreate me.” I’m hovering throughout time. I crumble in these days. I
crumble, I cannot find reflection in these days. If you listen, listen close, beat-by-beat, you
can hear when the heart stops. I saved the pieces when it broke, and ground them all to
dust. I am destroyed by the inside. I disassociate. I hope to destroy the outside. It will
alleviate and elevate me. Like water flowing into lungs, I’m flowing through these days.
As morphine tears through deadened veins I’m numbing in these days. I know what died
that night. It can never be brought back to life once again, I know. I know I died that night
and I’ll never be brought back to life. Once again, I know. If you listen, listen close, beat-
by-beat, you can hear when the heart stops. I saved the pieces when it broke and ground
them all to dust.
Silver and Cold
I came here by day, but I left here in darkness and found you on the way. Now, it is silver
and silent. It is silver and cold. You, in somber resplendence, I hold. Your sins into me,
oh, my beautiful one now. Your sins into me. As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble
a prayer and I’ll beg for forgiveness. Your sins into me, oh my beautiful one. Light, like
the flutter of wings, feel your hollow voice rushing into me as your longing to sing. So I
will paint you in silver. I will wrap you in cold. I will lift up your voice as I sink. Cold in
life’s throws. I’ll fall asleep for you. I only ask you turn away. I only ask you turn as they
seep into me, oh, my beautiful one.
Dancing Through Sunday
Will you join me in this dance of misery, cradled in impossibility? Swooning, I am swept
away, swept off my feet. With step-by-step we take the lead as drop-by-drop we start to
bleed. And we dance in misery, all lost in the arms of out misery. Swept off our feet by
our misery, we’re swept into shadows. Will you lend yourself to beauty that will horrify?
Let me hide within you black, the still inside your eyes. Deafened, caught within a cry so
sensual. Ass step-by-step I separate, while breath-by-breath I suffocate. So who will
follow? Who is the lead? I know I’ll leave a stain because I bleed as we dance. We all
dance. We all have no chance in this horrid romance.
Girl’s Not Grey
I’ll lay me down tonight, much further down. Swim in the calm tonight. This art goes
drown. What fallows me as the whitest lace of light just begs to be imbrued? What
follows will shallow whole. What follows has lead me to this place where I belong, with
all erased. All insects sing tonight. The coldest sound. I’d send God’s grace tonight could
it be found. I’ll lay me down tonight much further down. Watch the stars go out tonight.
On sinking ground I’ll lay me down.
Death of Seasons
Of late it’s harder just to go outside, to leave this dead space with hatred so alive.
Writhing with sickness, thrown into banality, I decay. Killed by the weakness, but forced
to return. Turn it off. I watch the stars as they fall from the sky. I held a falling star and it
wept for me, dieing. I feel the falling stars encircle me, now as they cry. Out there so
quickly grows malignant tribes. Posthuman extinction excels unrecognized. Feeling
surrounded, so bored with mortality, I decay. All of this hatred if scuking real. Turn it on.
It won’t be alright despite what they say. Just watch the stars tonight as they disappear,
disintegrate. And I disintegrate cause this hate is scuking real. And I hope to shade the
world as stars go out and I disintegrate.
The Great Disappointment
I can remember a place I use to go. Chrysanthemums of white, they seemed so beautiful. I
can remember. I searched for the amaranth. I’d shut my eyes to see. Oh, how I smiled
then, so near the cherished ones. I knew they would appear…saw not a single one. Oh,
how I smiled then, waiting so patiently. I’d make a wish and bleed. While I waited I was
waiting away. I can remember…dreamt them so vividly, soft creatures draped in white,
light kisses gracing me. I cam remember when I first realized dreams were the only place
to see them. While I waited I was wasting away. Hope was wasting away. Faith was
wasting away. I was wasting away. I never, never wanted this. I always to believe, but
form the start I’d been deceived. I never, never wanted this. Inside a crumbling effigy, so
dies all innocence. But you promised me…
Paper Airplanes (Makeshift Wings)
Raise high monolithic statues so fragile. As they fall I am ever enthralled. Gaze, lie, and
smirk in time. Your arrogance will suit you well ‘till fashion is dispelled. As waves of
plastic frame go out of fashion, you’re going out forever unknown. These waves of plastic
frame are drying up and I smile because you’re dying to become forever unknown. From
above a rain of ashes descends. Anathema I will remain, forever will remain, in my
seclusion, look up to the sky to see paper wings and watch them burn. Without habitation.
You’ll never find a soul inside, no life, but nothing’s died. No lights, but quite the show
(just as long as no one ever knows all motion is pantomime.) Dancing in the rain of
descending ash, dancing on your grave, I’ll see you all falling. Dancing in the rain of
descending ash, dancing in your dust. I’ll see you all falling. I’d stop it, had you a heart.
This Celluloid Dream
Calling tears from deep inside, oh, you're so exquisite. And in the mirror, all midnight
eyes. Oh, if I could remain, but it's just a visit. All midnight eyes read "vacancy.”
Twisted, twisting. To the lovely dancing lights, I begged, “May I cut in?” but they never
stopped playing "their song.” Of a joyous song they sing, I've heard whispers. On a
freezing note, I resonate. Just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end. Just like a
memory, it twists me. You land as lightly as the new snow, cinematic, onto the melting
boy, and melt away. You light as gently, you're so cinematic. Bathed in your radiance, I
melt. In the glitter, in the dark, sunk into velvet praying this will never end. In the shadow
of a star, in static pallor, I realized I never began. All the colors upon leaving will turn to
grey.
The Leaving Song
Walked away, heard them say, “Poison hearts will never change. Walk away again.”
Turned away in disgrace. Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within. It’s hard to
notice gleaming from the sky when your staring at the cracks. It’s hard what is passing by
with eyes lowered. You walked away, heard them say, “Poisoned hearts will never
change. Walk away again.” All the cracks will lead right to me and all the cracks will
crawl right through me, and I fell apart as I walked away, heard them say “Poisoned
hearts will never change.” Walked away again. Turned away in disgrace. Felt to chill
upon my face cooling from within.
…but home is nowhere
Twenty-six years and seems like I’ve just begun to understand my intimate is no one.
When the director sold the show, who bought its last rites? They cut the cast, the music,
and the lights. This is my line. This is eternal. How did I ever end up here? Discarnate.
Prenatural. My prayers to disappear, ungranted in dead time left me disowned, absent of
grace, marked as infernal. To this nature, so unnatural. I remain alone. Twenty-six years
end. Still speaking in these tongues. Such revelations while understood by no one. When
the new actor stole the show, who questioned his grace? Please clear the house of ill-
acquired taste. Give me something. Give me something. Give me something real. I lay
strewn across the floor, can’t solve this puzzle. Everyday another small piece can’t be
found. I lay strewn across the floor pieced up in sorrow. The pieces are lost, these pieces
don’t fit. Pieced together incomplete and empty.
Untitled [hidden track]
We held hands on the last night on earth. Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the
fields and under trees, screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves. It was empty on
the edge of town but we knew everyone floated along the bottom of the river. So we
walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea and the shattered seasons
lay, and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease. In our cancer of passion you
said, "Death is a midnight runner." The sky had come crashing down like the news of an
intimate suicide. We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes of stars that wore
like an antique wedding dress. The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn as
the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop. The few insects skittered away in hopes of a
better pastime. I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked if you would
accompany me in a quick fall, but you made me realize that my ticket wasn't for two. I
rode alone. You said, "The cinders are falling like snow." There is poetry in despair, and
we sang with unrivaled beauty, bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence. Of blue and
grey. Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the city.
The sun was stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon and the darkness is a
mystery of curves and lines. Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward,
and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched into the earth like a
message.
This Time Imperfect [hidden track]
I cannot leave here. I cannot stay. Forever haunted, more than afraid. Asphyxiate on
words I would say. I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue. There are no flowers, no
not this time. There will be no angels, gracing the lines, just these stark words I find.
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak. I'd share with you, could I only speak. Just how much
this hurts me. I cannot stay here. I cannot leave. Just like all I loved, I'm make-believe.
Imagined heart, I disappear. Seems no one will appear here to make me real. There are no
flowers, no not this time. There will be no angels, gracing the lines, just these stark words
I find. I'd show a smile but I'm too weak. I'd share with you, could I only speak. Just how
much this hurts me. I’d tell you how it haunts me. Cut through my day and sink into my
dreams. You don’t care that it haunts me. There are no flowers, no not this time. There
will be no angels, gracing the lines, just these stark words I find. I'd show a smile but I'm
too weak. I'd share with you, could I only speak. Just how much this hurts me…just how
much this hurts me…just how much you…
Email: Dark_Mars1@hotmail.com