1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.

2. You only buy Christmas cards on Boxing Day, when they are 50% off.

3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.

4. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.

5. Your stove is covered with aluminum.

6. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.

7. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.

8. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.

9. You have never used the dishwasher.

10. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.

11. You cut your own grass.

12. You eat all meals in the kitchen.

13. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. God forbid. . . you probably wash the bags and hang them up like laundry.

14. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

15. You always leave your shoes at the door. You also have six pair of shoes, many of which You never wear.

16. You watch all the Chinese shows on channel 66 because your mom and dad own the T.V.

17. You're watching channel 66 only because you own a black box.

18. You deny that you've heard of a black box . . . yet you start sweating each time you see a Rogers cable van around your neighbourhood.

19. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.

20. You've once played a musical instrument.

21. You can twirl your pen around your fingers.

22. You hate to waste food. . . you have tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.

23. You don't own any real Tupperware--only a cupboard full of used margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.

24. You like to talk and dress like someone from Hong Kong. . . but is always two years after it's popular there

25. You bring oranges (or other produce -- usually in eight's) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes. When they offer something in return you refuse and shove each until it looks like you're fighting.

26. You have a collection of minature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel .

27. You never go to hotels. Only motels. If there's no vacancy. . . see you at the Rest Area.

28. When you return from the States, you feel like a drug smuggler when you're planning the many ways of hiding clothes, cigarettes, and beer.

29. At the Customs border, you wear two sweaters, a jacket and a couple of caps and try to act innocent.

30. The packages of ketchup in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's

31. Ditto paper napkins.

32. You hate giving tips.

33.

You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). . . These travel snacks are always dried.

34. You own a rice cooker.

35. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.

36. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That's why you have the vinyl table cloth). But you rarely use a dish because that would mean more washing and more soap.

37. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

38. You majored in something practical like engineering, commerce, medicine, or law.

39. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.

40. You live with your parents and your are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighbourhood.

41. You don't use measuring cups.

42. Yo feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.

43. You beat eggs with chopsticks.

44. Your parents' house is always cold.

45. You reuse teabags and tea leaves.

46. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don't write anymore.

47. You own a really expensive discman and a cellular.

48. You haven't bought any CD's ever since mp3's were introduced.

49. You only listen to CD's that don't have labels (i.e. recordable ones).

50. Your mom drives her BMW to the Price Club.

51. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book since calling information costs 50 cents.

52. You tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.

53. You're a wok user.

54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.

55. You never use the cell phone during the afternoon.

56. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached -- it means they're fresh.

57. You never call your parents just to say hi.

58. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

59. You do not have any posters in your bedroom because that would mean scratching the walls.

60. And if you don't live at home, your parents always want you to come home.

61. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick.

62. When you're sick, they also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air (yeet hay in Cantonese).

63. Your parents never go to the movies. Why go when there's free Pay-per-view? ^_^

64. Your parents send money to their relatives in China and Hong Kong. But now that Asia is rich, it's the other way around.

65. You use a face cloth at home. But when you go to someone's house and use their washroom, you wipe your hands on whatever cloth you see first.

66. You're always late.

67. If you've got your own car, then you've had at least one car accident.

68. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.

69. Your parents use a clothes line.

70. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.

71. The only white person you've talked to regularly was the teacher.

72. You've joined a CD club at least once.

73. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewellry or electronics.

74. You never discuss your love life with your parents.

75. Your parents are never happy with your grades.

76. You keep used batteries.

77. You keep most of your money in a savings account.

78. Your parents, on the other hand, store their money and jewellry under the carpet.

79. You know what MJ means. . . and it's not Michael Jordan.

80. Your toothepaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.

81. You take this message and forward it to all your Chinese friends.