I cannot stand her. I hate her with an intensity bordering on insanity. Ever since I saw her in "Seven" I thought she was a no-talent Brad Pitt dating bitch. (I am officially retracting my statement that I thought she had talent right now.) The fact that she dated Brad Pitt was never a factor in my hatred, as I never thought he was good looking and quite frankly didn't understand what all the fuss was about. I like my men dark and manly looking. Anyway, these are some of the reasons why I hate her.

1. She comes from a wealthy, Hollywood-connected family. Her parents are Bruce Paltrow and Blythe Danner, who are bigwigs on the celebrity circuit and virtually guaranteed that little Gwyneth wouldn't have to struggle in order to become famous. She is so out of touch with reality, and doesn't know what real life is actually like. I suppose it wouldn't be so hard to be a good actor if you could spend all of your free time pursuing your goals (and the occasional phone call from daddy to some top producer or another doesn't hurt either). I don't believe that you necessarily have to go through hardships in order to be validated as a success, but the fact that she was given the opportunity to be a star virtually overnight is really really...annoying.

2. Every magazine that kisses her ass about her "wonderful sense of style". You know, if my daddy was some rich hot-shot Hollywood producer who could marry anyone thanks to all his money and so naturally chose someone with great genes, I probably could be tall, lithe and pretty as well. It's a known fact that clothes just happen to look better on skinny chicks (perhaps it has something to do with the "coathanger" effect of bony shoulders and no excess body fat.) Anyone can have style, as long as you can afford it. I would wear Dolce and Gabbana every day of the week if I could afford it. Alas, I cannot. Gwyneth isn't the fashion maven that she's been made out to be, she just happened to be born to the right parents.

3. Her friends and lovers are just so...Hollywood. Gwyneth has been linked with Wynona, Madonna and Ben Affleck, among others. Apparently she is like, "the star" to party with. The reason why this irks me is because it just reinforces my perception that she is a total bitch. I bet if you asked her for an autograph she would totally snub you. She is like the popular girl in school who will only hang out with others who are popular as well.

4. The main reason why I hate her...the bitch has NO talent. I hoped she wouldn't win the Oscar last year, I really really prayed she would lose...please god, please don't let stupid Gwyneth in the pink dress win, please let the world be a fair place where being six feet tall and rich and thin is your reward and you don't get an Oscar to place on your mantle on top of all that. But she won. And I was disgusted.

I still am. I have come to realize that it would be one thing if she was a shitty actress and everyone knew it. What would the fodder for my hatred be if it was accepted that Gwyneth can't act? But now that she won the Oscar (beating out a very deserving Cate Blanchett, I might add), Hollywood has given her its seal of approval. This means we will be seeing the bitch even more than we already have. It's not enough that she has all those attributes that most of us would kill for, but she will probably go on to have a ginormously successful career. She ain't no Sofia Coppola, who with any luck we won't have to hear from again. I fear Gwyneth is hear to stay.

I just wish her head would end up in a box in every movie from now on.