When I look at Rachel,I see someone different than any friends of mine. I see someone who understands me, believes in me, and someone who would've accepted me for who I was on both the inside and the outside. I see a kindred spirit, the kind of friend I've been looking for ever since 7th grade....the best friend I've never had. Also, when I look at Rachel, I see me. But, not on the outside, on the inside. Someone who is unique and proud of it, someone who wants to unite people, to reach out. I have that inside of me, but have always been too shy to show it.
Rachel Scott's story changed that. Reading it made me weep for days, and it still does. But it also made me realize how important being your own person is,and how important it is to see others for who they are,and to look deeper than the outside.
When I was in the early years of High School, I got put down and was hated. No one reached out to me, and I longed for a friend who would. I longed for a friend like Rachel. I've always tried to be myself and my own person, but have found it very hard.
When I saw Rachel's picture,I knew we were connected,I knew that we knew each other...someway, somehow. Looking at a a picture of someone your age who was killed, and seeing yourself, is a very strange and somewhat frightening feeling. That's how it is with Rachel and I.
Rachel Joy Scott opened my eyes. She made me realize how important it is to love, and not to get "camoflaged", as she says, with things around you.
When I get doubt in my mind,I think of her, and then all the doubt disappears. She helps me believe in myself,and helps me be a better person, and most importantly...helps me be myself. My own true self for the first time ever. She also gave me my Faith in God, and made me realize how important that is.
I'm saddened I didn't get the chance to meet Rachel in person. But, she is with me, guiding me,helping me, believing in me. She believes in me, because I believe in her.
I know there are more kindred spirits out there who I will meet,like Rachel's family. However, that's not what this is about. This is about Rachel, a kindred spirit I didn't get to meet because she was killed in a senseless crime at the age of 17.
Through her death, Rachel reached out to me. Even if I'm physically alone, she is always with me pyschologically and emotionally. I care about her fanily so very much, they are awesome people. Ever since Rachel's death,I have reached out to them and the entire city of Littleton.
I'm not trying to take her place, but simply trying to help her memory live on.
Rachel, thank you for opening my eyes, raising my self-esteem, giving me Faith, being such a good example to others, believing. Most of all...thanks for being you.
Rest In Peace.
By Charlotte Wilkinson
August 8,1999
