This is so funny! My friend wrote it as a joke. You might get a little scared, though. Don't take it too literally!*
*Even though it's all true!:)
{Written By my Good Friend Sarah ~Cameron~ Siddons:}
1) Do not insult the X-Files. EVER.
2) Do not call Melanie's house on Sunday between 9-10 or prepare to die.
3)If Melanie is your Science partner and decides to name her petrie dish Laura, SHUT UP, DON'T ASK WHY and name your's Rob.
4)If you want Melanie to go with you somewhere and she refuses, stand up, extend your arm, and she will come towards you with open arms.
5)Melanie says: "I feel.....like hell." Translation: I feel great but would rather be at home watching the X-Files.
6)Do NOT squish a bee. Let it sting you so it is limp and dead then give it to Mel for her collection.
7)Help her find her Non-Fat Tofutti Rice Dreamsicle.
8)Remind her every month to make her new calendar.
9)Take her word for it if she swears on Mulder and Scully's grave.
10) If you ever go to Memphis, walk around a bit and then right her a diary about it.
11) Buy her that nice suede coat she always wanted 'cause she couldn't afford it on a G-womans salary.
12) Don't be late with her or she'll yell at you saying "There's no time!!!!!!" and actually enjoy it.
13) Don't expext her to trust you. It's against her religion.