By: Robyn Flans
Now that General Hospital's Sonny and Carly are an item, albeit in turmoil, there is only one person who could win Sonny's hear - Brenda, played by the unreplaceable Vanessa Marcil. Despite the fact that Brenda died in a car accident, many, including Maricl herself, wish there were a way for her to return. AS she recently told Update, "Could you tempt me anymore than saying if I went back, I would be in a triangle with Maurice [Benard, Sonny] and Sarah [Brown, Carly]? It would be an amazing year of acting for me, But here's the tricky part - it would be hard because of the way they chose to get rid of Brenda. I personally don't like it on soap operas when people come back from the dead. I'm big on keeping it real, so it couldn't be amnesia or being held hostage. It would have to be that, for some reason, she made that choice to leave."
Considering that Brenda was in the midst of marrying Jax - and not Sonny - if it turns out she is alive, it would be that she ran out on Jax. Sonny wasn't on the show when she left, so she could come back for him, especially if she finds out what a depressed state he's in again.
But no matter with whom the enormously talented Benard/Sonny is paired, its mesmerizing TV watching!
Marcil is not only busy professionally right now, but she's also in the process of activating several dreams that come from her heart. Some of her dreams have been inspired by the wonderful work that Oprah Winfrey is doing with her Angel Network.
"I don't watch TV at all, but I never miss Oprah. She is doing the most important and courageous work you can do on TV. To this day, when I'm going through something, I'll turn her show on and feel better afterwards. The I can go out and face the things I'm afraid of - which is everything."
Marcil and her sister are currently looking for a piece of land where they can oversee a facility for troubled kids under 21 years of age. "I became inspired by all the great work that Sojourn does. It will be a recovery house for kids who are trying to get off drugs and alcohol, and another option for abused kids they send to foster homes. There will be a lot of animals on the farm and the kids will be responsible for taking care of an animal while they're there. With animals, you cant help but feel a profound love and realize the profound idea of what's important in life - that we take care of each other," say Marcil, who just added a pot bellied pig named Bobbie to her collection of dogs - a Jack Russell named Calila, a terrier named Benigni and two labs that she shares with Tyler Christopher (ex-Nikolas).
"My sister will run the place and I'll stop between work. I'm jumping on every dream I've ever had. It's really a good time for me. I heard in a Will Smith song: 'If you're looking' for joy, its on the other side of hurtin'...and that's really true. Last year was really tough for me, but you gotta hand in there and go, 'Okay, its for a reason.' I learned something very important from a friend I met when I was 17. She doesn't smoke, she doesn't drink alcohol, caffeine or over-shop - all those things in life that we latch on to. I don't do any of things either, because I realized when 'm going through the hard times, instead of doing those little fixes to numb myself from the pain, the most I sit in the pain and allow myself to feel it and say, 'This is for a reason, God loves me enough to have me go through this situation because I'm going to grow from it,' the quicker I get to the other side."
Marcil recently celebrated her personal growth by appearing on the premiere of a men's magazine, Ego. When they asked her to share her experiences of her abusive childhood, she agreed in homed of inspiring those in similar circumstances." Although I don't condone any abusive behavior toward children, I do believe every thing I went through as a kid made me who I am. For the first time in my life, I really like who I am and I've been able to forgive. The reality is, my parents did the best they could with what they knew, and if I can forgive people for not being perfect, I can have people forgive me for not being perfect. For a long time, I blamed a lot of the way I was on what my parents did for me - which I think is normal for young people - but I think you know you're starting to grow up when you stop blaming them for everything."
The magazine also displays Marcil's newfound sense of self. "Its a very sexy magazine and I thought I was so risqué when I did it, but I'm definitely the most dressed," she says with a laugh. "I've been doing yoga and meditation to get okay with myself, so I realized it was okay to show my body and say, 'This is me and I'm comfortable with me,' and that's a beautiful thing to achieve as a woman in our society today. I really wasn't doing and publicity, but when they offered me the opportunity to relay a strong message to people, I loved the idea. To me, that's the only thing that makes sense of the while celebrity thing.
"The acting makes all the sense in the world to me, but it makes no sense to me that we put actors and musicians up on pedestals and want their autographs, but you can be sitting next to a heart surgeon who saves people lives. We need to put the right people up on pedestals - the people who are really making a difference in the world."