March 2000
(VOY, P/T, PG)
Summary: Follows up on 'Extreme Risk'.
Spoiler Warning: Extreme Risk
Disclaimer: Not mine. Paramount's. Don't sue.
@~~~~~>~~~~
~*Lilli*~
B'Elanna went along the corridor smiling. Since the latest incident on the Holodeck, when Chakotay had brought her to her senses, B'Elanna had gotten back to normal. She tried to stop thinking about her dead friends in the way she had done before, because she finally realized what her life was worth. She regretted now that she had pushed Tom away for such a long time.
She left his quarters after the two of them had talked to each other quite a while about what had happened. In the end Tom had started to make jokes about her, to tease her lovingly, as if nothing had happened. Now B'Elanna was on her way to engineering. She normally hated the night shift, but today she didn't mind. She wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway. Her head was full of ideas about how to thank her boyfriend for standing by her, even when she was so unfriendly and repulsive. It was Tom's birthday the day after tomorrow and while she entered engineering, B'Elanna tried to think up an exceptional present for him. During the night there were not many people working down there, and as two of her crewmen had reported sick, the engine-room almost seemed to be empty. B'Elanna greeted everybody and smiled contentedly, so even Vorik was surprised about her behavior. He didn't show it, of course.
She worked for the rest of the night, and was in a great mood, even when something didn't work like she expected it to. Nothing was able to annoy her that night, and nothing was too much for her. On the contrary, she worked so fast, that she even was able to work in advance, and start *and* finish her report. In the morning she went to bed, still smiling and an idea for perfect present for Tom.
~*~
Tom got up also very content. He was happy that they finally had expressed their views and that B'Elanna was...well the normal B'Elanna again...his B'Elanna again...the B'Elanna, he loved and cared about.
Tom got dressed for his shift, quickly drank a cup of coffee in the Mess Hall, and went to the bridge. After a few hours without any special event, the ship suddenly started to vibrate.
"Harry, what's going on out there?" Janeway asked.
"The cloud directly in front of us has got a high rate of energy that the shields can't resist." Harry reported, while his fingers flew over the console in front of him.
"Mr Paris, turn around the ship and take us out of the cloud and stop there!"
"Aye ma'am!" Tom sounded as enthusiastic as always. A few seconds later, the ship floated in the space without any movement.
"Captain, if we beamed a little bit of the cloud aboard, we could use it to increase the capacity of the replicators." Tom said, thinking of a delicious meal, one that was really edible, not one of Neelix's experiments.
"Good idea, but the distance is too large to beam something aboard, and we can't go any further." Chakotay threw in. Tuvok suggested they modify the Borg shields, but Tom thought it would take too long to do so.
"I could take the Delta Flyer and fly to the cloud. It has Borg shields already, and is very fast. When I'm back, we can make a detour around the cloud, which is not that big. I think it is a time-saving plan!"
"All right, let's do it. Tom, you go to shuttle bay 2 and beam some of the cloud aboard the Delta Flyer then come straight back."
"Aye ma'am!" Tom said, still smiling as he exited the bridge.
~*Alicia*~
Things weren't going the way they were supposed to. The shields were failing and the whole inside of the Flyer was bathed in a red warning light. The shuttle was vibrating dangerously, the cloud being tougher than they had originally conceived. While his talented hands flew over the controls, Tom tried with everything he had to get the hell out of there. Even as he worked frantically, he knew it wouldn't be enough. There was something else that –had- to be done. But what?
"Paris to Voyager" All that greeted him was an eerie static. The comm systems had failed.
"Warning. Hull breach in two minutes" the computer warned in that annoying voice. Wiping a layer of sweat off his forehead, Tom considered his options. He had a hull breach in less than two minutes, but if he beamed off the shuttle, he'd be beaming directly into the cloud, and he had no idea what was inside there. Leaving the helm, he moved to tactical again, doing anything he could to stop the breach. "Hull has stabilized" the computer politely informed him.
Tom collapsed against the seat for a second, then hurried back to the helm. Maneuvering around the particles that were hurling themselves at his shuttle, Tom briefly let the shields down and beamed over a generous amount of the cloud. In that short time without the shields, a particle twice the size of the Flyer came directly at him, slamming into him with a force that sent him and the shuttle somersaulting through space.
~*~
"The Delta Flyer is no longer on long range sensors." Tuvok informed the captain from his position at tactical. Ducking her head, she sighed. "Dammit. Harry?"
At Ops, Harry Kim looked up from his work. "I'm working on it, Captain," he said, looking back down. "I can't get a lock on him until I can clear up some of this interference."
"Torres to the bridge" Janeway called through the comm. She needed her best engineer on the job. A few minutes later, B'Elanna came in and went directly to her seat, not asking any questions. "We need the interference cleared up immediately. Find out anything you can about the condition of the Flyer."
"Yes captain." Sparing a glance at the helm, she noticed Lieutenant Parker sitting in Tom's place. So it was him in the Flyer. Immediately, she got to work, throwing everything she had into finding her lover. She may have gotten better, but she still needed him. And she was not about to lose him now.
~*~
Staring grimly at his console, Chakotay sighed. Why this? Why now? He looked over at B'Elanna who was still tapping frantically at her console. She was always like this when Tom was in trouble, but he knew that with her recent depression, she needed him more than ever.
"Anything?" he asked no one in particular. There was a brief silence, followed by a choked sob from B'Elanna.
"We cleared up the interference . . . just in time to see the shuttle blow up."
~*Lilli*~
Nobody was able to say another word. Even the captain wasn't, but she *had* to say something. Kathryn pulled herself together.
"Maybe Tom was able to escape somehow. B'Elanna, search for a beam signature." B'Elanna seemed to be paralyzed. She just sat there and didn't move. She wasn't able to cry or even to say something, she was just shocked. She hadn't even noticed the captain had said something. As Chakotay regarded her, he knew everything. He stood up, went to B'Elanna's station and took care of her duty.
"I'm sorry captain, there's no sign of him. I don't even know where he should have beamed to. The cloud is quite big and there's no planet near us. I'm sorry, I guess we have to accept that Tom is dead.", he reported after he'd studied the computer console.
"No!," B'Elanna screamed and a few moments later her voice softened a little, but she was nervous. Quickly she pushed Chakotay away and her fingers flew over the console. "Perhaps there's a hidden planet or a ship near us that beamed him aboard. Maybe the ship is camouflaged....." The first officer stopped her softly. He patted her shoulders and took her hands into his.
"B'Elanna, it's alright. Calm down. We can't do anything for him anymore. Tom's dead. I'm sorry."
"But, he promised to stand by me, to help me and not to leave me. Tom would never break his promise....", she sobbed. A single tear rolled down her cheek. Chakotay helped her to stand up and guided her to the turbolift. He exchanged a look with his captain, who nodded right away. She knew that it would be the best for her chief engineer to get some rest.
As the two left the bridge, Kathryn looked around: Everybody, except Tuvok looked down to the floor. A long silence followed. "Tom was the best pilot I've ever known and he was a good friend. I know that everybody will miss him. I wish there was more that I could do." She sat down and took a deep breath. "Ensign, set course for the alpha quadrant", she finally ordered.
~*~
Absent-mindedly, B'Elanna typed in her access code and entered her quarters slowly. She walked over to the bed and sat down. Chakotay followed her and stopped in front of B'Elanna. He noticed her sad look and her wet eyes. Her eyes seemed to be empty, just like her. *She lost the man she truly loved and who loved her back. Damn ship...Why does it need energy to continue to fly? Why was this cloud the only alternative to get new energy? It just isn't fair...B'Elanna has lost the only person she really, deeply cared about. She lost a person that really cared about her. Tom didn't care about the chief engineer, or the beautiful woman. He cared about her, just like she was....*, Chakotay thought. He was angry, but also very sad. Not only because *he* had lost a good friend, but because B'Elanna, his friend, had lost her lover.
"B'Elanna, I know how hard this must be for you. I'm so sorry. What about getting some rest?" he suggested softly.
There was no reply. She didn't even look at him. She just stared at the wall. The empty gray wall, that somehow seemed to represent her feelings: sad, empty and alone....
"I think I'll return to the bridge now, so you can try to sleep." Again, there was no answer. So Chakotay smiled sympathetically, turned around and left the room.
For the next ten minutes B'Elanna just sat on her bed and didn't move. In fact, she didn't even think at all. Then she noticed a picture on her bedside table and reached for it. It was a picture of Tom. He was smiling at her like he always did in his loving way.
She stroke with her thumb over the photo and suddenly tears started rolling down her cheeks without end.
"Tom, don't you know what you're doing to me right now? I need you,...I love you. Why did you have to leave me? Please come back!!" She screamed as loud as she could. The tears fell onto the picture, rolled down it and eventually landed on her bed. B'Elanna put the photo aside and buried her head in the pillow. She cried for hours until she finally fell asleep.
~*~
Tom woke up with a terrible headache. He touched his head, but everything seemed to be alright. As he looked around, he noticed where he was. It seemed to be the Earth. There was lots of grass around him, people were walking down the streets, the sun was shining and birds were singing. He stood up.
Tom remembered what had happened the last minutes before he had fainted. The problems he had had during his away mission, came to his mind again. *My shuttle was about to explode...*, he established.
"What the hell am I doing here and where am I?"
Suddenly a figure approached. The man wore a Starfleet uniform and as he stood directly in front of him, Tom knew who it was:
"Q! Damn. What did you do with me? Why am I here? Where am I??"
~*Alicia*~
Why were humans so ignorant? Why didn't this . . . this idiot . . . recognize what he had done for him?
"Tom, Tom, Tom. Do you understand what I've done?" Q intoned, looking at Tom as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Besides rip me out of my home?" Anger was boiling inside of him and he wanted nothing more than to punch in Q's arrogant little face. Could he hit an omnipotent being? He doubted it, so he settled for just clenching his fists. The place was truly beautiful, but it wasn't his home. Not where he belonged.
"Oh come on, Mr. Paris! You were in serious danger!" Q shouted, exasperated.
"In danger of what?" Anger turned to confusion and he waited expectantly for an answer.
"Of becoming domesticated!"
"Domesticated . . . ?"
"I see you want to do this the hard way. Come on." Q said, grabbing Tom by the hand and pulling him over to the side of a small winding dirt road.
"Where are you taking me?" he protested. Of course, he was no match for Q, so his attempts at escape were futile.
"To the future, Tommy boy. To see what would have become of you if I had allowed you to stay!"
~*~
B'Elanna Torres-Paris clenched her fists, pacing the length of the room angrily. "Doctor Henderson is an –idiot-!" she raged. Tom raised his eyebrows, being sure to keep a safe distance from his furious wife. Her hands unfurled for a split second then returned to their original tightness.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked tentatively, moving to an area where he could easily duck behind a piece of furniture.
"There's nothing to talk about! He's supposed to be taking scans of the baby, and then his hands are all over me!" she shouted, wanting so badly to punch the wall.
"B'Elanna . . . try to calm down. This kind of anger isn't good for the baby," he said gently, coming into full view and trying to ease his way over to her without angering her further.
"So now you're an expert, too?"
Great job, Paris. Tom thought silently. He finally came up next to her, putting a reassuring arm on her shoulder. "Come on, B'Elanna. Come to bed. I'll call the Health Department tomorrow and report him, okay?" Actually, he had no intention of calling anyone, he just wanted his wife to calm down. It seemed to work, and she relaxed into his embrace. She let him lead her over to the bed, and they climbed under the covers.
"Tom?" she asked, her head buried in the crook of his neck.
"Hmm?"
"I have to throw up."
~*~
Tom watched, his heart swelling with pride and adoration as his very pregnant wife – er, future wife – emptied the contents of her stomach. Wow. He was a husband and a father. But where were they? "Q, what is this place?"
"This, Tom, is hell. About three months from now, you'll ask B'Elanna to be your wife. She'll accept, and in a year and a half, Voyager will find a wormhole that will take it back to the Alpha Quadrant. You'll have your first child two months later."
"First?"
"First of seven."
"Holy shit . . . " Tom hissed. He knew he loved B'Elanna. But marriage hadn't even occurred to him except in passing. And seven children? He'd –certainly- never pictured himself as a father. "Is there more?"
"Oh yeah. Are you ready to see it?"
~*Lilli*~
Tom hesitated for a moment.
"No,...no, I don't want to see it. I don't want to know any more!"
"No? I offer you to see something very special, something few people have been able to see before. I offer you to look into the future and you refuse?!" Q was dismayed. "Why?"
"I don't believe what you tell me. Why should it be true? And even if it *was* the truth, why do you call it -hell-? I love B'Elanna and I think marrying her and having children is *wonderful*!" He felt that somehow he needed to convince Q *and* himself, but on the other hand, he believed it with all his heart.
"Maybe....for a few months, but what will be afterwards? I can tell you, you'll hate it!"
"Really? How well do you know me Q? How well do you know B'Elanna?!"
"I have to admit I do not know you very well, but I know the future Tom!" Tom gave a humorless laugh.
"So you know the future, huh? Do you also know what's happening right now?"
"Of course I do!" Q exclaimed indignantly.
"Fine, so I'm sure you'll be able to answer this question: Where do all my friends...B'Elanna, the Captain, Harry....where do they think I am?" He folded his arms and look at the tall man in front of him seriously.
Q sighed. "Why do you humans always think of the others? Why are they so important to you?" Tom didn't answer. He continued to stare at Q. "Alright, I'll tell you! Well, the shuttle you were in exploded a few seconds after I'd brought you here. In clear...they think you're dead."
Tom couldn't believe what Q had done and how his actions could leave him so cold. "Are you crazy? What has gotten into you!?", he screamed. Against his will, it came to his mind how hard this had to be for B'Elanna...for his girlfriend. Tears of anger and worry about B'Elanna formed in his eyes.
"Tom, I saved your life! I didn't make the shuttle explode. If I hadn't brought you in here, you would have really died!"
"I know, and even if I think it's hard to tell you so, I'm thankful for what you've done, but you could have simply delivered me back to Voyager instead of bringing me..here. I can't imagine how B'Elanna ----"
"Your little sweet B'Elanna! The B'Elanna that is going to domesticate you!", Q interrupted. Tom pulled himself together.
"Yeah, my little sweet B'Elanna...the one who's going to domesticate me!", he repeated in the same absurd tone. "It'll kill her. She'd had so many problems and disappointments during these last few months. It's bad enough that I'm missing her terribly right now, but....I'm also worried about her. I can hardly imagine how she'll get through this at this stage in her life! You don't know what you're doing to her right now," he said in an amazingly soft voice.
~*~
Three days had already passed. Three days of endless hours of crying...three days B'Elanna had to live with a terrible heartache. She'd hardly talked to anyone except Chakotay; when she hadn't been working in engineering, she had been in Tom's quarters, spending her time thinking of him, of conversations and small flirts between them. Every thought of him, of one of his jokes, made her smile, but it also brought tears to her eyes again.
As usual, she was sitting on Tom's bed daydreaming...thinking of the happy times with him. Suddenly the door chime rang. "Come in," she said almost inaudibly. A second later, Kathryn Janeway entered the room. She knew B'Elanna was there. The captain sat down next to her.
"I want to end it so badly, Captain," B'Elanna began. "I've lost everything that was important to me. There's nobody left who'd make my life worth living! I feel like no one would be affected by my absence...not since the only person who's ever loved me is dead." B'Elanna didn't look at Janeway, knowing the expression she had on her face.
"B'Elanna, I know that's not true. Even if that's how it feels right now. You have so many friends that love you and would miss you terribly. Chakotay, Harry...me. I'm sure Tom would have never wanted you to kill yourself over him. He loved you too much." Kathryn put an arm around B'Elanna's shoulder. "In my culture there is a belief: People who died, but still know people they love are still alive, sit somewhere over us, for example on a cloud and watch us...take care of us!"
"But there are no clouds in space," she sniffled.
Janeway chuckled. "Yeah, you're right, but you also know Tom Paris. I'm sure he has already found a place where he can perfectly see you!" Kathryn smiled, suddenly finding herself holding B'Elanna completely in her arms. She had started crying again.
A little later, she lifted her head. "Thank you, Captain."
"You're welcome, B'Elanna. Take care of yourself."
~*~
"Let me go home Q! There are many people who need me there. Especially B'Elanna," he muttered.
"Alright, but I've got to tell you something first," Q consented.
"What is it?"
"You'll have a few problems back at home!"
"Problems? Will my wife force me to get her a dog?" Tom asked ironically.
"No, but there'll be two people who'll be against your marriage with B'Elanna: Her mother and your father."
