"James," she whispered softly. "James, wake up." I opened my eyes and was about to ask what she wanted, when she slipped a hand over my mouth and brought her face close to mine.
"I have something to tell you," she whispered in my ear. She removed her hand from my mouth and replaced it with her own mouth. I was quite shocked and a little nervous, but was soon kissing her back as though I had done it a million times before. I reached a hand up to the back of her head to touch her hair. It was hanging down loose and it was irresistably soft. A thought passed through my head to ask her what happened to the hairspray, but I didn't dare say it, she would probably hit me, ending this beautiful moment abruptly. She finally broke the kiss and gazed into my eyes deeply. I swallowed hard.
"James," she said finally, "I love you."
"I thought my heart was going to explode as I stammered, "I.. I l-love you too, Jessie..."
She slipped onto the couch beside me, we had to squeeze together pretty tight to fit, but I didn't mind feeling squished, I had my beautiful Jessie at last... And just as I thought my heart rate couldn't get any higher, she kissed me again, until...
I awoke with a start to the sound of Jessie yelling my name, not to mention the sharp, stinging sensation on the side of my face.
"Wha..." I mumbled, opening my eyes to see that the room was filled with the light of early dawn. And also that Jessie was looming over me wearing a pink robe, face furious and hand raised to hit me again. I dodged. Which was probably not a good idea.
She grabbed me and pushed me into a sitting position. "SIT STILL!" she practically roared, and I obeyed. Probably because I didn't want to make it any worse for myself. I let her slap me up and down as many times as she cared to, but I began feeling almost numb at some point or another. When she was finally done she stood back, glaring at me with arms folded.
"Owwwwwwww... Jessieeeee..." I whimpered, tenderly rubbing my now sore face. "It's too early in the morning for this kind of thing... ooowww... what did I do anyway?" I added meekly, hoping the hurt I felt showed in my face and voice.
"That's what I'D like to know," she replied airily, "exactly WHAT you were doing. You were yelling and tossing around so much that you woke me up, and I was in the bedroom with the door shut!"
She still sounded really angry. I knew how much Jessie hated being woken up. I sighed. "I was just... dreaming," I said, looking down. I then tried to remember what the dream had been about.
When I remembered, I'm sure that my face would've turned red, except that it probably already WAS red from the amount of times she'd just slapped me, so I guessed it didn't matter.
"And there are a couple other things I want to know too," she then said. I looked up worriedly. I wondered if it was something she'd hit me for.
"Why in the world does the kitchen look like a hurricane went through it? I specifically remember that it wasn't THAT messy..."
I lifted an eyebrow. Now why would that be my fault... I thought hard, and then a revelation came to me.
"Oh yeah... I woke up around 2:00 last night, and I was starving, so I got something to eat, and..." I trailed off at the look on her face. If she was trying to make me feel like a little kid who'd just got caught misbehaving, I thought suddenly, she sure was doing a good job.
"One more thing then," she said with a funny look on her face. I wondered what it could possibly be. "How... exactly... did you get wrapped in the window curtains?"
I blinked. And realized that I had no idea. I would've laughed at it any other time, but definitely not now. No wonder it was so light in here anyway...
"I'm sorry Jessie," I said softly, standing up and beginning to free myself from the curtains. "Maybe I just got cold and I was sleepwalking and didn't know what I was doing."
"You could've asked for a blanket you know," was her reply. She sighed then. "Sometimes... I don't know if I ever understand you," she said, looking at me. "I'm going back to bed now, and if you wake me up again..." The way she clenched her fists was promise enough.
I watched her go back to her room, feeling a little empty. I hung the curtains back up, promising myself I would clean up the kitchen later. I sat down on the couch then, and for some reason thought of my dream from last night, and then of the way she had gently brushed my cheek before she went to bed. I compared all that to this morning, then closed my eyes tightly in sadness. I should have known that last night was too good to be true.
"After all," I whispered to myself, "I know that Jessie doesn't love me."
I lay down to go back to sleep, but I knew it probably wouldn't happen. I had to lay on my back, because my face hurt too much to lay on. Yet I realized that any physical pain she could cause me would never compare to the pain I was feeling in my heart.
And that's the way it was most of the rest of the week. Jessie always acted as though she was mad at me, mainly by slamming things around and not even talking to me. And when she DID talk to me, it was to tell me to stop moping around the house or that I was eating too much. But I couldn't help it, I was still depressed over what had happened that morning, and in my state of depression it was easy for me to eat much more than usual and sit around the house doing nothing. I did notice one thing though, and that was that she always fixed every meal for me. She might yell at me for eating in between, and we might not talk while we were eating, but at least that was a little something she did that showed me she might not hate me TOTALLY...
And then it was Saturday. The next day we'd have to leave to meet up with Meowth and then find out if we were still employed. I hadn't even realized it had come up so fast, but this was my last day to be alone with Jessie. As each of these thoughts flashed through my mind that morning as I lay on my couch, I began to feel a small amount of despair. I decided that today was my last chance to find out how Jessie really felt. It was now or never.
Later that morning, Jessie was sitting at the kitchen table, apparently staring at nothing. I came up and stood beside her, but far enough away that she couldn't hit me without standing up.
"Jessie?" I began cautiously.
"No James, it's not time to eat yet," she said absently, still staring at nothing.
"No, no, that's not what I wanted to say," I said, shuffling my feet a little.
"Then what?" she asked, fixing her gaze on me. I hadn't thought she'd actually bother turning her head to look at me, so I was a little nervous. I hoped my knees weren't shaking.
"Ummm... do you want to.. what I mean to say is, do you..." She began tapping her foot. "Do you want to go to the beach today?" I ended in a rush, afraid I'd lose her attention. She just looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite read.
"Alright," she finally said, just as I was feeling like I was breaking into a cold sweat. "I'll get ready then," she said, standing up and walking out of the room.
It was a few minutes later that she came back and waved a hand in front of my face. "James? Hello? Shouldn't you be getting ready too?" she asked, giving me a gentle push. I realized then that I was still standing in the exact same spot.
"Oh... oh yeah!" I exclaimed, hurrying off to do just that, leaving her shaking her head behind me. I felt that goofy-looking grin growing on my face, but I didn't care. She'd actually said yes, which was something I really hadn't expected. And this time I was going to make sure that nothing went wrong.
Outside it was absolutely the most beautiful day imaginable. Flawless azure sky, pure white sand, glittering blue ocean. And Jessie. She seemed much more beautiful than the scenery. She was actually walking beside me and talking to me. We were so close that I could've held her hand without much effort, but I knew that wouldn't be a good idea. I figured it was best to be patient.
We picked out the perfect spot, and set everything up. I guess we were traveling pretty light, all we had were a couple of towels to lay on, and the food Jessie had packed. I wasn't sure what was in it because she wouldn't let me see. We were already wearing our swimming suits, since there wouldn't be anywhere to change out here anyway. I had been secretly admiring Jessie's bikini as we walked, and she must not have noticed, as she hadn't yelled at me or hit me yet.
I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said that just sunbathing for awhile sounded good to her. We laid down on our respective towels, and the only sounds for a long time were the waves lapping up on the beach and the cries of birds up and down the shore. I decided to break the silence and thought for a bit for something to talk about.
"Jessie," I began slowly, "what if we... what if we find out on Monday that we don't have a job anymore?" I didn't think she'd heard me for awhile until her slow reply came.
"Well... I suppose we'll think of that when it happens." She sounded as if she was talking about the weather, as if it wasn't that important.
"Well," I persisted, "do you think we... we'd have to split up?" I stumbled a bit over that last part, I could hardly even think of such a thing happening.
"James," she said, rolling over on her side to look at me, "why are you thinking about things like that now? We haven't been fired yet you know."
"I know, I just... I just..." I trailed off, unable to complete my thought.
"Just don't worry about it," she said, rolling over again. I sighed. I wasn't sure what to say next. I desperately wracked my brain for anything I could think of, but Jessie spoke first.
"I think I'll swim for awhile," she began, standing up from her towel. But in the process, the back of her bikini top just happened to fly open. She shrieked, covering her chest with her arms.
"D... Don't just sit there James, help me!" she demanded.
"W... What do I do?" I stuttered, stumbling over to her. "Is it broken?"
"No... I just think the hook came undone," she replied. With shaky hands I took both sides of the strap and looked; sure enough, it had somehow come unhooked. I nervously fit it back together, hoping she didn't notice my shaking hands or the fact that it took me three tries to get it back together.
"Thank you," she said slowly, adjusting it at the front. An unbidden thought came into my mind, to put my arms around her waist. And without thinking further, I did it.
Her reply was a sharp elbow to my stomach.
"Ooow..." I moaned, clutching my injured stomach. "Why did you... I mean I..." I stopped as my eyes went from her tapping foot up to her glaring eyes.
"I'm sorry Jessie," I said, straightening up. "There's something I want to tell you."
It was now or never, I reminded myself. I faintly realized that I'd lost all feeling in my body, but I tried not to pay any attention to that.
"I..." I began, hoping my face wasn't red and my knees weren't shaking again. "I... you know Jessie, I've always liked you.. and I... have always wanted to tell you... that I know that I'm in lo--"
I didn't get to finish that sentence. Because the next thing I felt was her hand across my face.
But it wasn't exactly in affection.
I staggered back, clutching my cheek. I was stunned, to put it bluntly. In my entire memory, Jessie had never managed to hit me that hard, she'd never used the full force she was capable of, I guess. My face felt like it was on fire. I felt tears stinging in my eyes despite my best efforts to stop them. I looked at Jessie, but she had her back turned to me. It was then that I decided that I couldn't take it anymore. I turned and started walking, but I didn't know where I was going. And I didn't care either.
When I finally reached where it was I was going (even though I didn't know where that was), I began to pace around in a circle, not caring when I tripped over the same rock every time I went around. The only thing I could do was wonder what I had possibly done to make her so upset. I finally sat down, still rubbing my cheek, which felt swollen. I figured I must have deserved it though, if only I could figure out what it was...
...and then it dawned on me that I had blew it. I had lost probably my one and only chance to tell Jessie how I felt. I'd failed miserably. Again. I vaguely wondered whether my purpose in life was to fail at everything I wanted so hard to succeed in. I got up and started walking blindly again, not realizing that I was heading back in the direction I'd come from...
Until suddenly, I was back exactly where we had been. Everything looked the same, the towels were still on the ground, and the basket was still in the same spot. Only Jessie was missing. I thought about looking for her, but dismissed it from my mind, knowing how mad at me she must be. I wasn't sure what to do actually, but somewhere in the back of my mind, something told me to take everything back to the house. I walked over to the basket, remembering how she hadn't wanted me to know what was inside it. I knelt down and opened the lid, my eyes passing over the food, and landing on a rose which lay off to the side...
...the rose I had given her...
I must have stared at it for a long time before I realized there were tears running down my face. Here I was, James of Team Rocket, the bad guy, crying like a little kid for some reason that I could hardly understand. All I knew was that I'd been the one to blame. She would have opened up to me if I'd just been more patient.
"Stupid," I said aloud without realizing it. "I'm just... stupid."
I dropped my face into my hands and cried more - not caring anymore that the bad guys aren't supposed to show emotion like that. I stiffened at a slight touch on my shoulders. Without even turning around I knew who it was, but I wondered what she was doing. But I didn't know what to say. And I certainly wasn't going to turn around and let her see my face, which probably looked terrible.
"James," she said softly, shaking me a little by the shoulders. I shook my head, hoping she'd understand. But then she stood up and walked around to kneel in front of me.
"J... Jess!" I stuttered, hastily rubbing an arm across my face. She reached up and gripped my wrist hard, pulling it down away from my face. She clamped her other hand around my other wrist, then stared at me intently. All I could do was bow my head and feel ashamed. My shoulders began to shake as I began to cry again, realizing what she must think of me.
"James!" she said sharply, suddenly letting my wrists go. She grabbed my chin and lifted my face up. "James, stop crying," she said softly, but firmly, as though she wouldn't take no for an answer.
I fiercely rubbed the tears out of my eyes again and set my hands in my lap. I still couldn't look straight at her or say anything. She picked one of my hands up and held it in both of hers. She began talking slowly and very gently.
"James... this is my fault. What I did before... I'm sorry. It's just that when you were about to say... umm... what you were about to say, I was scared... scared that I was going to lose control of my emotions.. I... I was so scared... that I wouldn't be able to say... to say..."
She didn't say anything for a long time then. I looked up slowly to see what was wrong. She had her eyes shut tightly, but a single tear was rolling from her eye.
I couldn't stand to see Jessie cry.
I quickly moved so that I was beside her, then wrapped my arms around her tightly. "Jess, please don't cry Jess, don't cry, please..." I repeated over and over, hoping she wouldn't get annoyed hearing it. She didn't seem to mind. I eventually stopped and just rubbed her back, feeling a little foolish. I didn't think she'd cried beyond that one tear.
"You know what James?" she said suddenly, causing me to start a little.
"W... What?"
"Do you know how long it's been since you called me Jess?" she continued softly. To my surprise, I DID remember.
"Yeah, I... since we were back in school together," I said slowly, wondering if she was mad about it.
"Back when we first met," she added. "Back when both of us knew that we had gigantic crushes on each other. What's happened to us since then?"
I wasn't sure what she wanted me to say, so I just said, "Well... a lot."
"Mmhmm..." she said in reply. I then continued without thinking.
"Maybe I've just changed into someone you don't like anymore."
"James!" she practically yelled, pulling away from me and slapping my knee hard.
"OUCH!" I cried before I could stop myself. I bit my lip and looked at her wide-eyed.
"No," she said with a sudden laugh. "That's still the James I know."
I smiled sheepishly and blushed despite my best attempt not to. She smiled again.
"You're very cute when you blush, I've always thought that." She patted my knee gently, but all this only caused me to turn even redder.
"What's wrong? You're so quiet all of a sudden..." she trailed off, moving a hand up to my cheek. "I didn't... hurt you REAL bad, did I...?"
I winced when her hand brushed it, even though I didn't want to. "N... No... it didn't hurt... that bad... really, I..." I stopped talking as she fixed me with a look that made me feel like I was pinned to a wall.
"Then do you want me to do it again? You seem to need a lot of sense knocked into you."
I looked down. "No... I..."
"But then, you always did need me around... to keep you in line," she cut me off with, smiling fondly. "Oh James, I don't want to be mad at you right now, just please talk to me, tell me what you're thinking about..."
I struggled to come up with words to say, but I kept going blank. "I just... I just... I just..." I could feel her watching me as I looked at the ground; I tightened my hands into fists in frustration.
"Oh Jessie, you know I can't say things right, whatever I say, it just comes out wrong!"
"Well..." she said slowly, as she unrolled my fingers so that my hands were laying palm up. She laid her own hands on top of mine. "You know James, I know you. So when you say something, even if you don't think it makes sense, I DO understand you. You should know that by now," she scolded gently, but I could tell her heart wasn't in it. I looked up and our eyes met; we stared into each other's eyes as though we hadn't seen each other in a long time. Then, without knowing what I was doing exactly, I reached for her and pulled her onto my lap, something I'd wanted to do for a long time. She wrapped her arms around me and nuzzled her face against my neck.
"Jessie..." I began for the second time. "There's something I want to tell you."
I felt her nod. My arms tightened around her. "I love you."
If you were expecting a sudden earthquake, a tidal wave, or a band of rogue Pikachu to interrupt our moment of bliss, then you'd better get over it.
"I love you too," she whispered against my hair. I closed my eyes in complete contentment. I now had everything in life I would ever need.
I'm not sure what happened next. But I woke up to the sound of Jessie saying my name and shaking me to get me to wake up.
"What?" I asked sleepily, rubbing my eyes.
"It's time to get ready to go," she said, helping me stand up.
"Go?" I said wearily. I had a horrible pain in my back, as though I'd been sleeping on a rock. I noticed that it was dawn. I started to walk over to where Jessie was, stumbling a bit on the way. She stepped forward and firmly took my hand in hers. She began walking, saying, "Wake up James. I don't want you falling all over the place."
She was nearly dragging me until I managed to catch up. As I came out of my sleep-induced daze, I realized she was still holding my hand. I felt my face getting warm and knew I was blushing. That's when I remembered what happened last night. About telling her that I loved her, and her telling me the same. About holding her until we both fell asleep. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, wondering what she was thinking about. We didn't talk all the way back, or while we were packing. I guess there wasn't anything important to talk about.
We soon were in the hot air balloon riding through the sky, which was perfectly clear. We stood on opposite sides of the basket, facing each other. Jessie was staring at my face as though there was something wrong with it.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Is your face feeling okay?" She sounded unusually concerned.
"Well... yeah." I poked at it and it didn't really hurt at all. "I told you you didn't hit me THAT hard."
"Oh yeah?" she challenged, one fist clenched. I smirked.
"Yeah," I said. "It's because you hit like a girl."
"Then how come you whine so much every time I hit you then, huh?" she demanded. All I could do was laugh at the frustrated expression on her face. She swung a fist at me. I dodged, laughing harder. I guess I was laughing TOO hard, because I didn't see the next blow until it had connected with my jaw.
"Ouch," I stated, rubbing it. She turned her back to me with a loud, "Hmph!"
But I wasn't fazed for long. I whipped out a rose, and moved to stand behind her, so close that my body pressed against hers. I held the rose out in front of her, leaned in close, and whispered in her ear, "For you, Jess."
I watched her face from the side as she took the rose from my hand. Then she smiled. But this wasn't just any smile. I hadn't seen Jessie smile like that because of me in a long time.
She turned around, still smiling, and took my face in her hands and brought it down so she could kiss my lips gently. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was good enough for me. We just looked at each other a little longer, then she turned back around. I wrapped my arms around her waist, hugging her tightly to me. She rested her arms on top of mine.
"Jess..." I said slowly. "What if we don't have a job anymore?"
"I don't think it matters," she said simply. "Do you?"
I shook my head. And I guess it really DIDN'T matter. After all, we had each other.
