But don't worry. This isn't one of those stories.

A young girl walked down the path leading out of a small town, her long red ponytail blowing in the breeze as she hummed happily. The full money pouch at her waist was certainly part of the reason she was so happy; it clinked and jingled in a most satisfying way. She suspected that the townsfolk wouldn't be quite as satisfied upon finding money missing from their own pockets. Not that she would let it bother her, not on this deliciously sunny day, with the perfect breeze and the forest to either side of the path looking so verdant.

Besides, thieves weren't supposed to be bothered by things like that.

"I certainly don't look the thief, do I?" she mused aloud as she walked. The outrageous shoulder guards, the tights covering her slim legs, the boots and flowing cape... "I look more like a traveling Summoner, off to do good deeds," she laughed. "But... it doesn't hurt that I really am a Summoner. Besides, no one would ever expect me to rob them anyway, me being so beautiful and downright desirable." She allowed herself to indulge in more laughter, letting the feeling of giddiness carry her away.

"Well, lookee here, boys... A girl all alone, talkin' to herself. Hell, she looks like she's a bit lonely. What do you say we keep her and that big purse of hers company, eh?"

Her laughter stopped abruptly and she opened her eyes to coldly regard the men now blocking her path. Scruffy-looking third-rate bandits, from the looks of them. "What a way to spoil my mood," she muttered before continuing more loudly, "Alright then, which one of you wants hurt first?"

"Oooh guys..." the leader continued, pushing greasy strands of hair away from his face with equally greasy fingers. "We got ourselves a real prize. She thinks she's a Summoner or somethin'!"

"No really... what circus are you in?" another man gibed, causing the others to burst out laughing as though he had just made the greatest joke in the world.

"I wouldn't laugh so hard if I were you," she replied calmly, reaching into another bulging pouch hidden inside her cape. She held the red-and-white Monster Orb she had taken from it for a moment before beginning to bounce it in her hand unconcernedly.

"Oh really?" the leader said in mock curiosity. "So if you're so special, who are you?"

The girl continued to bounce the Orb in the palm of her hand, managing to look utterly bored. "Jessie."

"Je... Jessie? You mean like... Jessie... Inverse? That little... Summoner... thief? The one who... who... gives little kids nightmares and eats grown men for breakfast?"

"Where the hell did you hear that?" Jessie screamed, eyes flashing blue fire.

"Oh... heheh... it, uhh... doesn't really matter now, we gotta be leaving now anyway, sorry to bother you, Miss Inverse..." the leader stuttered, making all kinds of odd faces as he backed away slowly. Then all three of them turned tail and ran as though pursued by a swarm of killer Beedrill.

"Oh no you don't... You don't get off so easily after what you said about me," Jessie muttered. Tossing the Orb high overhead, she yelled, "Come forth, Ninetales!"

With a flash of light, the orb disappeared, a cloud of mist forming into the shape of the fox-like Monster, it's long tails flowing gracefully as it floated above Jessie. It regarded it's mistress with calm, glowing eyes as it awaited her command.

"Alright Ninetails..." Jessie began, pointing a finger in the direction of the fleeing bandits. "Firespin those jerks!" The Monster obediently opened it's mouth wide, emitting a long twisting funnel of fire that raced after the men's retreating forms. They momentarily fell down into a sizzling heap before jumping back up and running twice as fast. Not to mention screaming twice as loud.

"That takes care of that! Nice job, Ninetails, now, return!" After the Monster appeared to dissolve back into mist, the Orb reappeared and settled gently into Jessie's hand. "I guess I'll have to walk through the forest anyway. Stupid third-rate bandits attacking people on the road," she grumbled, slipping the Orb back in it's place while she stepped off the path and angrily barged her way through the first of the trees. And nearly fell into a hole.

Pivoting on her heel, she spun to land on the ground a few feet away. "Damn it! Who the hell is digging holes and trying to ruin my day even more!" she screamed in frustration.

"Not that I'm trying to ruin your day... but could you help me out of here?"

Jessie sat up straight and blinked at the voice. It sounded not too distant, and echoed slightly as though... it came from a hole. She crept over on hands and knees to peek down cautiously. Sure enough, there was a boy at the bottom of the hole, looking up at her as curiously as she looked down. From his clothes, covered with various pieces of armor, he appeared to be a swordsman. Of course, the sword laying on the ground beside him fit the image, too. Jessie squinted at him. The only thing wrong was that he wasn't filled out enough. Everyone knows that swordsmen are supposed to be muscular and athletic-looking. And his longish hair, held away from his face only slightly by a strip of black cloth tied around his forehead, seemed to vary between blue and purple in the strangest way.

"What's wrong with your hair? It keeps changing colors."

The boy heaved a tired sigh. "That's wonderful, but can you please get me out of here? I've been down here half the day and I'm really feeling cramped!"

Jessie shook her head. A whining swordsman? No... Surely this was just a boy playing hero games. "First of all, how did you get down there?"

"Oh... well, you see... I fell in."

"Who dug this hole? Do you know?"

"Umm... I did. It was supposed to be a Monster trap," the boy replied rather sheepishly.

"You fell down your own trap... Okay, I really think you aren't worth the time to save now," Jessie said, standing up and brushing dirt from her knees.

"No, no, wait! Please!" The urgency in his voice made her turn back for a second. "If you help me, I can do something for you!"

"Do something for me..." Jessie repeated, staring into his hopeful green eyes. Actually, he wouldn't look half bad if he wasn't covered with dirt, most likely from trying to climb out himself. If you were the kind of girl who fell for delicate facial features, that is. "Like what?"

"I'm a swordsman!" he exclaimed, grabbing up the sword beside him as if it proved everything. "I can protect you from danger!"

"Really..." Jessie replied dryly. "Who do you work for?"

"I'm free lance."

"For how long?"

"Since last week."

Jessie rubbed her nose where she had hit it upon falling flat on her face. "That's it! No way! You're on your own, pal!"

"No! I can do other things too!" he whined in reply. "Please don't leave me yet!"

"Why do I bother," Jessie growled. "Okay, what else?"

"I can... well, I... that is... I can..." Jessie started to walk away, disgusted.

"I know!! I can cook, if it means anything to you!"

She sprinted back in the space of a heartbeat. "Why didn't you say so?" she demanded. "C'mon, grab my hand and I'll pull you up."

After a lot of heaving and scrambling, Jessie managed to haul him out of the pit. He knelt at the edge for quite some time, all but kissing the ground as he panted heavily like he'd done all the work himself.

"I'm free! This is so great! Ahh... the ground... the sky..."

Jessie nudged him with the toe of her boot. "You could see all that from where you were."

"But it's not the same! Now I can breathe fresh air... and see in all directions around me for at least ten feet! Oh, freedom!" he cried, jumping up and clasping his hands together.

"You were only down there half a day," Jessie muttered. She vaguely wondered whether someone hadn't just dumped him in the hole in an effort to get rid of a babbling lunatic.

"Oh, and thank you! How could I forget," he was saying now. At first, it seemed he was about to hug her, but after he got a good look at Jessie's contorted face, he merely clasped her hand to shake it. She stared at him a moment, not having to look up far since he was only about two inches taller, reading the sincerity of his gratitude in his eyes. Somehow she felt she could count on this guy not to rob her. And if he ever tried anything, she was sure she could take him on just fine. More than just fine, as a matter of fact.

"I guess you'd want to camp for the night, right? I know the perfect place, and I can cook you something then," he continued, not seeming to read anything from her silence. Still holding her hand, he started to lead her through the trees, finally letting her go once he noted her expression. Then he just tried to look dignified, resting a hand on his sword hilt and staring down every leaf that so much as twitched as though it was about to attack.

Jessie smiled, a bare curving of her lips. At least she hadn't rescued a boring person. Just one whose intelligence was questionable. "So what's your name?" she found herself asking rather abruptly. He jerked his attention back to her.

"Sorry... it's James."

"James... got a last name?"

"I wish I didn't," was what she thought she heard him mutter before saying more clearly, "Ehh... it doesn't matter that much, does it?"

"Guess not. But since I don't have any qualms about my own name... It's Jessie. Jessie Inverse," she emphasized, waiting for the shocked reaction.

"That's a nice name. Hey, are you alright? Did you trip over something?"

Jessie brushed away the hand he offered and stood up, spitting dirt. "No, I'm just fine." So he didn't recognize her name. Maybe it was for the better, though. That way he wouldn't try to turn her in for some reward.

"Maybe you have the same problem I do..." James was saying slowly.

"Problem?"

"Oh... see..." he continued, somewhat reluctantly. "When I left home, I wanted to become a really great swordsman. I had already trained and everything, but I wanted to be a member of the Swordsmen's Guild, so I could get a job as a bodyguard or something. I passed the Swordsmanship Test well enough, but..."

"But?"

"Well, I sort of failed a couple of the other tests. It seems... I can handle myself just fine when it comes to being in combat, but any other time, I have the tendency to be... how did they put i-- Ouch, my foot!"

Jessie watched in amusement as he hopped up and down from stubbing his toe on a rock. "Clumsy?"

"Yeah, I... guess that's it," he sighed. As they continued through the forest, Jessie watched James from the corner of her eyes, feeling just the tiniest bit of pity for him. He didn't seem like such a bad guy, except for the obvious--

A scream rent the air from somewhere ahead, followed by another, and yet another. The newly acquainted pair froze in their tracks to stare at each other, open-mouthed.

"Sounds like trouble," James said first, setting a determined look on his face and turning back to continue forward.

"Wait a minute! You don't know what's wrong! You're just going to barge right into the middle of God knows what and--"

"Well, screaming usually means some kind of trouble," James replied with a shrug. "I'm just a free lance swordsman... I can't be too picky about what jobs I take. Assuming they pay me for helping out," he concluded with a wry smile. Then he was gone, running as fast as he could and miraculously not tripping.

Despite her better judgement, Jessie found herself running after him. Curiosity about his sword abilities might have been part of the reason she followed. Mostly she just wanted to make sure he didn't die before she got her food.

The trees began to thin out ahead, ending before a large clearing where roughly ten plainly constructed wooden houses could be seen. A small settlement, only just starting out. Jessie kept hidden behind a tree, checking out the situation before venturing in further. Apparently there was trouble, at least of some sort. Frenzied people were fleeing their houses and running in every direction into the forest. And what they were running from... Jessie had to stare.

What appeared to be a several sizes too large Charizard was wandering amongst the houses. But that wasn't the wierd thing. The wierd thing was that it had two heads. Upon closer inspection, Jessie noticed that the right head had a fairly mean expression, almost seeming mocking, if she hadn't known any better. The other head just looked plain idiotic. The "mean" head was blasting fire at anything and everything in sight while the stupid one just puffed out great clouds of smoke.

There are a lot of strange things in the world, Jessie already knew that much to be true. But this ranked somewhere up there in the really strange.

Jessie's hand shot out to grab a fleeing villager's arm. It was a young girl, wide-eyed and fearful in a long blue dress.

"What are you doing? Can't you see it? I have to run! Run!"

"Okay, alright, just calm down! How did this happen? I mean... Where did it come fro--"

"It's the horrible beast of legend!" the girl shrieked, desperately trying to wrench her arm out of Jessie's grasp. "The legends say it will come in the time of heat, to destroy and plunder! The horrible two-headed beast!"

"Yeah, I get the idea! But... what's wrong with that Charizard?"

"The horrible beast.." the girl continued, dropping her voice to a whisper, "It's two heads represent sarcasm and lunacy." Then she screamed, "The world is not safe! Run!" Finally slipping loose, the girl plunged headlong into the forest, shrieking loudly. Jessie lifted an eyebrow.

"Great... This is just great. Who the hell writes these stupid legends, anyway?" Turning to look for the Monster again, her jaw nearly dropped to the earth when she saw what was happening now.

There was James, of course, helping out just like he had said he would. Except he didn't have his sword drawn yet, and he had somehow managed to climb to the roof of one of the only houses still intact. With his arms folded and his legs spread out wide, he appeared to be about to give a dramatic speech, if anything.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jessie screamed at him. "Are you trying to kill yourself?" He didn't seem to notice.

"Alright, you hideous Monster," he announced to the beast, which had actually stopped to eye him up and down. "Attacking an innocent village this way is inexcusable! The homes destroyed, livliehoods ruined, futures lost... AAHHH! It just makes my blood boil! So that is why" - here he drew his sword with a flourish - "I will kill you now!" He leaped off the roof with a surprisingly agile gracefulness, landing effortlessly in front of the Monster and beginning to attack while dodging blasts of flame.

Jessie found herself gaping again. He really wasn't all that bad, much better than she had expected. She stepped closer to see better and noticed that no matter how skilled he was, the sword wasn't having any great effect. James must have realized it too, because he was standing now out of the Monster's range, bending down slightly and breathing hard.

"I see... that... you are tougher... than I thought. I didn't... want to have to... use this... but..." With a final deep breath, he took his attention away from the monster and looked at his sword instead. He ran his fingers lightly over something Jessie couldn't see on the blade, near the hilt. His eyes, closed, and the sword began to glow a faint green. Jessie's breath caught in her throat. Suppose that sword was...

As James slashed the sword out in a diagonal line in the Monster's direction, tiny green vines seemed to burst from nowhere, rapidly growing and expanding to wrap the Monster up tightly all the way up to it's necks. The monster struggled and roared (at least, the right head did), finally loosing more blasts of flame from it's open mouth to burn the vines away. With another triumphant roar, it headed toward James, now clearly more angry than before and more than ready to work off that rage on the most convenient target.

James wasted no time in touching the sword's blade again, and this time as he swept the sword, now glowing red, in large arcs toward the Monster, balls of fire materialized out of a clear blue sky to hurl themselves at his attacker. However, the Monster was easily able to deflect the fireballs with those of it's own. Finally, James just let his sword arm fall to his side as he stared with huge eyes at the Monster, then wheeled around abruptly, sheathed his sword, and ran straight for Jessie.

"Help me! You have to help me!" he wailed, ducking behind her and under her cape. "Nothing I do works!"

"Oh, so I have to rescue you again?" Jessie sighed, keeping a mindful eye on the Monster's progress in their direction. "And what do you think I can do?"

"I thought you were a Summoner! You've got this cool cape and everything! So summon up something to defeat this thing!"

"And what do I get for helping you again?"

"You... you can have half of the reward!"

"Half...?"

"Alright, 75 percent! Just do something now, it's almost here!"

"I guess that's enough. I just hope, for your sake, that there will be a reward," Jessie muttered. Luckily, James was huddled beneath the corner of her cape opposite her pouch containing the Orbs, so she easily reached in to pluck out the two she wanted. Rolling them around in her palm for a moment, she nodded as the Monster got within a ten foot range. She flung the Orbs straight overhead, red-and-white blurs spinning up into the sky's blueness.

"Come forth, Blastoise! Raichu!" Jessie grinned wickedly as the two Monsters she had called up floated above her, ready to obey her every whim. The feeling of power was almost overwhelming.

"Hydro Pump! Thundershock!" The dangerous combination of water and lightning soon had the two-headed Monster laying wet and sizzling on the ground. "Yeah! That's right! That's what happens when you mess with Jessie Inverse!" Jessie yelled, raising a fist into the air. She quickly called her own Monsters back into their Orbs. "James... you can come out now. Besides, you're wrinkling my cape."

"Oh... sorry." He extracted himself from her cape only to fling his arms around her waist. "Thank you!"

A sharp elbow to the head fixed that. He stepped back quickly, rubbing his head as she took a threatening step closer. "Rule one... no touching," she said with a glare. "Do that again and it'll be more than my elbow that hits your head."

"Sorry, sorry... I was just trying to say thank you."

"Yeah, well, you'll be thanking me when you hand over my share of the money. Now, about that sword of yours, I--"

"What in the hell did you just do?!" a scratchy voice yelled. The pair turned to see a short old man with long white hair, looking more dusty and disheveled than anything else, running towards them.

"And who are you supposed to be?" Jessie asked.

"I'm this village's mayor! And I demand to know what you've done to our Monster!"

"Your... Monster? So this freak of nature belongs to you? Well don't worry, it isn't dead, and now you can probably capture it in an Orb and--"

"Capture it? Why would I want to capture it!? This is a beast of legend! Our prophecies read that once a year, in the time of great heat, a hideous and terrifying monstrosity will come from the forest to burn down our village! Every year, we rebuild, but we are destined to repeat the same catastrophe every year! Oh, isn't fate magnificent?" the old man cried, his hands clasped together and stars shining in his eyes.

"This is great... A village of idiots," Jessie muttered. "So let me guess... Now you're all angry because we played with your fate, and you'll drive us out in an angry, screaming mob?"

"Close enough," the old man shrugged. Villagers were indeed streaming out from the forest, evil intent on their faces.

James laughed nervously. "So... I guess that means no... reward..." he asked Jessie as his fingers twitched convulsively toward her cape again.

"You're right. What it means is you'd better run fast and hope you don't trip!" she yelled, shoving him in a relatively clear direction and taking off after him. They managed to escape alright, if one didn't count the rocks, the dirt clods, or the occasional plow that somehow managed to hit them on the way.

"Mmmm! I didn't know Jigglypuff could be so delicious! Mmm... mm... MMMmmm...."

"Oh yeah, all you need is the right seasoning. Those plants over there are the best when it comes to--"

"Yeah, yeah, quit talking about it already! You're ruining my concentration!"

"How much concentration do you need to eat?"

"It takes a lot more than you'd think!"

"Yeah... I don't know, but I'd say you probably have the concentration of an overgrown Snorlax to be able to stuff your face like that."

"WHAT?"

"Umm... I said that you're so graceful and feminine that it hardly seems you ate much at all."

"Well, you got that right." Jessie sat back and sighed her satisfaction at having a full stomach at last. The camp James had brought her to actually had proven to be perfect, near water and with plenty of space for a fire. James sat on the other side of the fire, polishing off the rest of his own food. Leaning forward, she caught sight of his sword laying beside him, and chose that moment to pounce on it.

"Hey, that's mine!" James yelled, making a desperate grab for it.

"Oh calm down. I'll give it back." Jessie unsheathed the sword to look it over. It appeared to be an ordinary sword at first glance, but the end of the hilt was shaped and colored like a Monster Orb. Closely inspecting the blade revealed two tiny etched symbols: small, dancing flames represeting fire magic, and a green leaf representing plant magic. "Yes... This is a Summon Sword, alright," she announced solemnly.

"I could've told you that! Now give it back! Please? Come on!"

"Fine! Geez, what's your problem anyway?" Jessie grumbled, tossing it back to him and reseating herself.

"It's been in my family forever, and... Well, it's mine," James concluded, cradling it closely in his arms like a baby.

"I wondered why you only used two types of magic... Those are the worst two you could've picked against that Monster! Why aren't there any other types in the sword, if it's been in your family so long?"

"Well... I... I can't explain it. I tried to get some water magic once... But I tripped, and the Squirtle got away," he sighed.

"By the way... what was with that... speech?"

"Oh that! I got the highest score in the Swordsmen's Guild history on my Heroic Speech Test! The competition was tough, but I soared to the top and became the--"

"Just sit down and shut up. This isn't the time for a speech."

"Sorry."

Jessie studied him through the flickering flames with narrowed eyes. Exactly what was he keeping back about that sword, anyway... Then another thought occured to her. "And James... I hope you don't think that one meal is gonna pay me back for saving you - twice! - not to mention the nonexistent reward I never got."

"Yeah, I figured it wouldn't be," he sighed again. "So how many more meals do I have to fix for you? "A week's worth? Two?"

"Oh... A year should cover it."

James fell over, his legs twitching as he squeaked out something that kind of sounded like, "Ah... yuh... year?"

"Or... You can just gimme your sword and we're instantly even!" Jessie beamed. That got him to hug his sword even tighter.

"No! It's mine! Mine! I'll cook for you ten years, but you can't have my sword!"

Jessie sat back again and smiled. Oh yes, this was definitely shaping up to be some adventure.

There. That wasn't enlightening in the least, now was it?

I know you have comments. I know you want to send them to me. You WILL send them to me. (Is this working?) :p

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