JESSIE: "Why are we always the ones who have to stay around here on Fridays? It's obviously when all the exciting missions are going on..."

CASSIDY: "Well, YOU'RE here because you're a screw-up and really can't be trusted on an IMPORTANT mission."

JESSIE: "Then how come YOU'RE here?"

CASSIDY: "Well... to make sure you don't screw up while... sitting around doing nothing."

JESSIE: "That's pathetic."

JAMES: *hides a yawn behind his hand* "I agree. We..." *yawn* "are not screw-ups. At least not... all of the time."

JESSIE: *glances at him sideways* "Wake up."

JAMES: "I'm not asleep..." *yawn* "Yet, anyway..."

*Silence falls. Cassidy and Butch stare into space while Meowth plays with a yarn ball and Jessie glares as James' head starts falling toward her, mouth wide open.*

JESSIE: "That's it! We're finding something to do, and I mean now!" *slaps the back of James' head* "And YOU wake up before you start drooling on me!"

SCENE CHANGE: The gang searches the HQ for something at least remotely interesting to do. After Butch's lame suggestion of chess is violently opposed, Meowth points to the HQ's computer.

MEOWTH: "We could always play a game..."

JESSIE: "Solitaire isn't going to cut it, I don't think."

MEOWTH: "No, no, no... we've got some old games for dis thing somewhere around here, if we could just find them..."

BUTCH: "You mean these?" *points to a dusty stack of boxes standing in the corner*

CASSIDY: "Hmmm..." *pulls the top one off, blowing dust off it in a cloud* "The Happy Chef? Ummm... it doesn't exactly sound very..."

BUTCH: "...stimulating?"

CASSIDY: "Exactly. I suppose that's the best we can expect out of all of these boxes too."

JESSIE: "Wonderful. That's another idea that isn't going to work." *angrily kicks the boxes, scattering them across the floor*

JAMES: "Ooo... look at this one!" *picks up the box that had landed by his feet* "I love this game!"

JESSIE: *squints at the box James is holding up* "Oregon Trail? James... are you feeling okay? Or have you gone from a fifth grade mentality to a third grade one?"

JAMES: "What?" *pouts* "It's fun..."

MEOWTH: "Hey, we can give it a try, right? I mean there IS nothin' else to do, right...?"

*Everyone finally agrees, and they settle in around the computer.*

BUTCH: "Who gets to type?"

MEOWTH: "MEowth!"

JESSIE: "Look at it this way... Meowth doesn't even have fingers, Cassidy and Butch... well, they're Cassidy and Butch, and James can type about one word a minute, so since I'm the most beautiful, I should be the one who gets to type."

*Everyone stares, no doubt astounded by her logic.*

JESSIE: "I'm glad you all see it my way. Now... umm... where does the disk go..."

*collective sweatdrop*

JAMES: "Here." *puts it in for her and the title screen pops up* "This is so exciting! I just love this game! Do we have popcorn anywhere?" *notices everyone staring at HIM now* "What?"

CASSIDY: "Oh brother. Let's just get this thing going."

JESSIE: "Okay... occupation..." *scans the list* "I can't believe Pokémon thief isn't on here! Why would I ever want to be a doctor? Or a carpenter?"

BUTCH: "Just put in whichever makes the most money."

JESSIE: "Hmm.. banker doesn't sound too exciting either... but I suppose it's better than being a farmer or something dumb like that... Let's see now, of course my name is going to go in the first space, since I'm typing."

JAMES: "But that's not fair! You'll be the last one to die!"

JESSIE: *turns to glare at him* "But that's the way it should be, right?"

JAMES: *laughs nervously* "Heh... heh... of course!"

*Cassidy and Butch roll their eyes as Jessie continues typing in their names. Fifteen minutes (and a lot of arguing) later, their supplies are all bought and they "hit the trail".*

JESSIE: "This is getting kind of old... watching this wagon all the time..."

CASSIDY: "You've only been watching it for five seconds."

JESSIE: "So?"

^CASSIDY HAS DYSENTERY^

CASSIDY: "Whaaaat? I'm sick already? And with... what is that anyway?"

JAMES: "You don't want to know."

CASSIDY: *groans* "And I suppose I'll die from it next."

^CASSIDY HAS DIED^

CASSIDY: "Aaaaahhhh! This game is so dumb!"

JESSIE: *smirks* "Actually, I think it's a very intelligent game. It's already weeding out the weaker party members." *smirks even more*

CASSIDY: *silently glares daggers at Jessie's back as Jessie watches the screen again*

JESSIE: "We're out of food already? James must've ate it all." *rolls her eyes*

JAMES: "I did not! ....Ooo, let me hunt, Jessie! Let me!"

JESSIE: *glances sideways* "Why?"

JAMES: "Because it's fun, and I'm good at it! Really! Pleeeeaase?" *uses those big cute puppy dog eyes*

JESSIE: "Well... alright. Just this once."

JAMES: "Yay!" *reaches over Jessie and grabs the mouse* "Stupid rabbit! I almost got him... Look at that buffalo! I'm gonna... Stupid buffalo! It got away! Okay, this deer for sure... dangit!!! Stupid deer!"

JESSIE: "You are PATHETIC." *grabs the mouse away from him*

JAMES: *pouts* "I ALMOST had it..."

JESSIE: *ignores him* "Let's see... we're at a river crossing... so what do we do?"

CASSIDY: "Who cares, I'm dead."

BUTCH: "I say caulk it."

MEOWTH: "I think we can ford it."

JAMES: *growls* "I say we load all the rabbits and buffalo and deer on it and watch it sink to the bottom and then LAUGH."

*Everyone stares again.*

JAMES: "WHAT???"

JESSIE: "Anyway... I guess we'll just ford it." *watches as the wagon floats across the river, then tips over* "Umm.. oops. Meowth drowned."

MEOWTH: "THIS IS THE STUPIDEST GAME... THAT EVER EXISTED!" *folds his arms, growling*

JESSIE: "Well, at least our wagon is lighter now."

MEOWTH: "Oh, you're real nice."

JESSIE: "I know."

^BUTCH HAS A BROKEN LEG^

BUTCH: "Huh? You can't... die from that, can you?"

JAMES: "Ohhhh yes."

BUTCH: "Geez, this game is so violent..."

^BUTCH HAS DIED^

BUTCH: "Okay... so who didn't see that coming..."

JAMES: "Now it's just me and Jessie..." *gets starry eyes* "Jessie and me... isn't that just so... so..."

JESSIE: "AHEM."

JAMES: "Umm.. can I hunt again?"

JESSIE: "No."

JAMES: "But we still don't have any food! We'll starve! I don't want to starve Jessie!"

JESSIE: "James, just be quiet."

*Minutes pass in silence as the wagon slowly moves on, various parts breaking and oxen dying along the way.*

^JAMES HAS INFLUENZA^

JAMES: *eyes glaze over* "This is it... this is the low point... We're starving to death on the high plains, thousands of miles from any civilization, sun blinding our eyes, dust covering our bodies, I lay puking my guts up as all the rabbits and buffalo and deer surround me, they're mocking me as they await my death, they'll gnaw on my bones and then--"

JESSIE: *smacks him* "Will you knock that off?" *mutters* "Honestly."

JAMES: "Sorry Jess... I'll just await death in silence then..."

^JAMES HAS DIED^

JAMES: *falls over*

JESSIE: "Well, it's just me now! I'm ready to get there!"

^JESSIE HAS CHOLERA^

JESSIE: "What kind of cheap joke is this? I'm the leader, I can't die! I'm too young and beautiful to die anyway!"

JAMES: "The rabbits are mocking YOU now... I can hear them even in death..."

JESSIE: "I said stop that!"

^JESSIE HAD DIED^

JESSIE: "WHAT? This is inhumane! This is horrendous! This is... stupid! Whose idea was it to play this anyhow?"

*everyone's eyes swivel to James*

JAMES: "The buffalo made me do it! I mean... umm... well, I thought it would go better than this, is all..."

CASSIDY: "I guess it could be worse, I mean... at least it kept us occupied for a good...oh..."

MEOWTH: "A lousy half hour."

JAMES: "I thought it was quality time..."

JESSIE: "You would. Let's bury this stupid game so no one can find it. It's nothing but heartache and grief."

BUTCH: "And we certainly can't let anyone know we played it, we'd be laughed at forever..."

*They shove the box back in the corner with the rest, then sit back down in their original places.*

MEOWTH: "So what now?"

JESSIE: "Beat Mr. 'I Can't Even Shoot a Buffalo From Two Feet Away' up for suggesting the stupid game."

JAMES: "Ummm... take a nap? And... forget we ever played a game." *laughs nervously*

BUTCH: "Anyone for chess?"

CASSIDY: "Sit around and stare again?"

MEOWTH: "Sounds good."

So they did.

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