|
|
|
Bob got bored one day and decided to stay home and watch "Okrah." Then his doorbell rang and he got up, spilled his beer, screamed in pain as he stubbed his toe on the door and said "Yes?" Standing before him were two starving Semolina Children from South Africa. They wanted to sell Bob stuff to fund their trip to New York City. Bob couldn't figure out why these starving children wanted to go to New York, let alone what they were doing on his doorstep in south western Pennsylvania. But, being a kind-hearted kinda dude, he bought some stuff from them. Bob wanted to buy the "Reflections-CD & Candle Set" for those long relaxing bubble baths he liked to take so much. But he accidentally marked the "Strawberry Lip Balm(SPF 6)" column instead. The starving children thanked him profusely and let him go back to his beer, that was now covering the entryway rug. After collecting his money of course..you never know when Bob might go on a spending spurlge and buy some of those new Marquee Bazookaliu shoes he'd been wanting so much....and the children told him they'd be back in about 2 weeks with his stuff. The starving children showed back up on Bob's doorstep and rang the doorbell. No cursing at spilled beer and stubbed toes came from within and the starving children began to worry that Bob had died of a Spleenal Rupture (where is the spleen anyway?). But they rang once more and then heard a "SPLASH!!" from the general direction of the back of the house. The starving children ran around to the bcak of the house and saw Bob and his Entourage (Melvin, Frediana the Macedonian, Pistachio and Velvetta) having an all out wild pool party to celebrate the anniversary of Melvin's prison release. (This is all of course because Nogs's mother decided Melvin is jailbait one drunken evening. Of course she also claims that he's a "big, bushy-tailed squirrel boy") The starving children said "Excuse me...Uh, Mr. Bob McLugie....We have your stuff...HELLOOOO!!!" Bob sat up from his sunbathing (Bad Bob...skin cancer not good!!!) and said "Huh? Oh..the starving children are back!! Hello!! Wanna beer? Oh wait. You're starving children!! Never mind then. Wanna a burger? Or how about some taco bell? Here Leezard..." The starving children polietly declined Bob's kind offer of food. They instead presented him with his recipit and said "We'll be right back." Then Bob heard the "Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!" of a large motor vehicle backing up. Then he saw a large (I mean HUGE) jar of pink stuff being dropped in his front yard. Bob screamed "What IS that?" "Your Strawberry Lip Balm!" said the two starving children. Bob stammered "But..but..I didn't order any lip balm!!!" "Yes you did." said the starving children. "It says so right here. You even paid us the $5.53 for it." Bob was dumbfounded and befuddled, as Bob's so often are, but he just nodded, smiled, and backed slowly away from the lip balm and fell into the pool right on top of Velvetta, who was then angry because Bob got his "stylin'" hair wet. THE END!! In Bob We Trust,
Dude. Wanna go read the other Bob stories again? Then click here. Or is it here? Or both perhaps?? I should get more sleep..... Are you confused? Am I confused? What is the sound of confusion? Oh, just shut up Lids!! Anyway, go here for a further explanation of this particular Bob Chronciles increbible strangeness..it was just a weird day, what can I say?
|
