|
Continued.... |
| This brave 9-some
set off on their adventure once more. They only had a little ways left
to go when Bob proclaimed "STOP! I must pee." So they slammed on the Super
Duper Intergalatic Air Brakes again (make sure you have 'em tuned very
100,000 light years) and Bob climbed out at a rest stop. (The next one
wasn't for 56 miles! Kevin Forbid!) There he encountered three of the most
bizarre, strange, and wonderful people he'd ever met! They were all Oweks.
Anyway, these Oweks were good friends to each other. In fact two of them
were sisters. Or something. Their names were Tiki, SusnaSoprana and Phisha.
They ran the snack bar there at the rest stop (next rest area, 56 miles)
and knew all sorts of gossip, leedle numbers and illogical (and sometimes
mentally unstable) advice. They told Bob to shave his head, dye his eyebrows
BRIGHT green and pierce his left nostril and eat 6 sliced mangos everyday.
For breakfast. And lunch. But not dinner. Anyway, they also gave Bob a
very useful Multi Dimenisional Magical Super Time Twisting Pocket Watch.
Not only does it tell time on Vega, Pluto, Archemedies, Meuron and Planet
Yes-I-Am-On-Crack-Thankyouverymuch (where Obi Bon was born) it can take
you back and forth in time!! WOW!!!!! Bob was so thrilled with his new
gizmo that he accidently threw himself 56 years into the past and found
himself hovering over the deep space vortex that had been paved over to
create the snack bar. Quickly he fiddled with the time twisting pocket
watch and threw himself back into our present time. However, much to the
amusement of the Oweks, he came back right on top of a emu. The emu bit
him and Bob screamed. The poor emu freaked out, jumped back in his space
ship and forgot his Double Latte that Phisha had been fixing him. ANyway,
the Owek called Tiki spoke up. "Dearest Bobly-Man. Listen carefuly to what
I show you." And with that a viewing screen popped up and Bob was watching....a
home movie of himself last Christmas? Wha??? "NO!!" screeched Tiki. "Fast
forward!! Fast forward!!" Phisha pushed the Magic Fast Forward button and
Bob was watching what could be none other than himself!! (he recognized
the hair.) In battle!! With Dank Vadar!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!! The horrifiying
scenes played out before Bob's eyes! Then SusnaSoprana "Oh Bobly Dude Man.
You and only you will be the last hope. Your friends will not be with you.
And you have to save the universe all by your little ole self! But don't
worry about it dude, 'cause like, you'll win and stuff. So says The Flarce."
Bob cursed his bladder vowing never to pull over again!! EVER! ChanterD8
thought that Bob looked suspiciously like the last person she worked for,
Wesley Cletus, the tramuatized one, as he walked back to the Bobmoblie
looking especially traumatized. Chanter was just about to tell this to
her bestest friend V-3P0 when Phisha stuck her head in the Bobmobile and
said "Hey! Yo! Like, where's ER!Lei??" Chanter pointed out the Titania
to the Owek but didn't get to voice her opinion to V-3 as Bob climbed back
on board just then. And as we all know, you can't talk to V-3P0 about Bob
once Bob is back on the Bobmobile. Duh. ANyway, just almost as soon as
they'd taken off, the 12-some (the Oweks had gotten on the Titania with
ER!lei and were now along for the ride) land on the shore of a very small
penninisulare to the northwest of the capital of the planet of NOrthern
Macedonia, the city of Uh-Eee. R2 was first out of the Bobmoblie, to check
the humidity in the air dontcha know because if it was too humid, Bob would
get MAJOR kirkage and that would just ruin his day! R2's humidity report
came back as satisfactory for Bob so he stepped out of his ship and back
onto his home planet. "Wow!" thought Bob. "Smell that air!! Yummy!!" and
proceeded to dig around in the bushes for a crunchy beetle bug to munch
on. Bob found the biggest, yummiest looking bug he'd ever seen!! It was
perfectly plump and shiney and sort of grey-brown in color and was preparing
to have a delicious breakfast when V-3P0 whacked the terrified bug (well,
wouldn't you be terrified if you were a wee little bug that was dangling
over big chiclet like teeth?? Hmm??) out of Bob's hands and into the nearby
bushes. The bug stood on it's back two legs, after recovering it's equilibrium,
saluted and squeaked "Thank you kind sir!! My name is Walter! If you should
ever need my assistance, just holler!" and with that he burrowed back into
the ground and dissappeared from sight. Bob was outraged! There went his
breakfast, back to his buggy little family!! (Who I'm sure were yummy too,
as it were.) NOO!!!! "What the heck was that for!!???" said Bob. "I mean
JEEZ V-3P0! That was one scrumdiddlyumpcious looking bug!!" V-3P0 replyed
"I'm sorry Mr. Bobly-Dude-Man, but my builtin Ickyness Protocol Factor
simply would not allow me to stand idly by and let you eat that poor poor
creature!! Have some tea and cheese with me instead perhaps?" Bob was agreeable
with this as he really liked cheese so he had tea! R2 and Chanter soon
joined them and the 4 had a delightfully dainty tea party right then and
there! the doors to the Titania screeched open (that interstellar rust
is a doozy dontcha know) and ER!Lei and the Oweks rolled out in a giggle
fit. It seems Tiki had just finished a story about a man in a saffron robe
and a rodea princess? Hmm...ER!Lei went to the JP and pounded on the hatch
and yelled "Hey!! Dudes!! What's going on in there?? You guys okay??" The
hatch fell off with an ominous thud and smoke billowed out from inside
the JP. ER!Lei was instantaneously very concerned and stuck his head in
and said "SPAM? Wookiee? Are you guys--" And was cut off by Blueberry Cobbler
to the face. Bad SPAM-solo!! Then Wookiee Childe nailed him with a water
gun and the "battle" was on! They were soon joined by Obi Bon who had a
nifty water gun like Wookiee's that shot out of two places thereby allowing
her to shoot two people (mostly ER!Lei and SPAM-solo) at once!! YAY!! The
fun ended though, as a large shadow fell across their little "camp" which
Bob had dubbed "Camp Pretzel." It was Rummy and boy was he mad!! Everybody
put down their respective water guns and cobbler and listened to Rummy
berate them as he climbed down off the Skinny Hippo and turned off the
giant backlight that made the neat shadow. "Enough with the fun and games
already!! Isn't it bad enough I lost like $5000 in SPADES!! Now, to the
Super Secret Compound!!" Bob squirted Rummy with his water gun and the
group lost another hour because their battle picked back up again. After
everyone was suffiecently both soaked and cobblered as it were, they set
out to find the Super Secret Compound. Bob would ask "Is that it?" about
every building they passed. SPAM-solo got annoyed at this and filled his
mouth with pistachios and then put tape over it. (So Bob was suffiecienty
muzzled...) The group passed by a hut with a sign out front said "There
is a Doctor in the House." Well, ER!Lei thought that if they were gonna
fight the Tray Federation, they should consult a doctor first. Because
everyone knows before you do anything, you're supposed to consult your
doctor. So they waltzed up to the front door and knocked. They waited a
few minutes. No answer. They knocked again. Finally Rummy said "Oh screw
it!" and tried the doorknob. Which was (not surprisly) unlocked! They walked
in and saw a big pile of rags on top of a table. But it was breathing!!
Hmm.....Chanter was about to nudge the rags to see if they moved when she
noticed a picture of herself on the wall!! It was none other than herself
and her bestest buddy in the whole wide universe (next to V-3P0 of course)
Grounderunner!! "Holy Man!!" exclaimed Chanter. "But, how? Why? Wha???"
But she didn't wonder long because then (how convient!) in walked none
other than Grounderunner herself!! "DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@!!" exclaimed Grounderunner.
"CHANTERD8!! How'd you get here? YAY!!" Chanter and Grounde had a loverly
reunion but they still didn't know what was up with the breathing pile
of rags on the table. ER!Lei interuptted them for a moment and said "Excuse
me! But, uh, what is that??" he asked pointing to the mysterious thing
on the table. "Oh that!" said Grounde. "That's just the good doctor. Dr.
WoodlandNo. She's sleeping. You can wake her up though if you want." Bob
did just that, since he got some sick twisted pleasure out of making other
people wake up before they want to. Anyway, Dr WoodlandNo awoke quickly
and said "BOB!! You made it!!!!" Bob was very, VERY confused. He was SURE
he didn't know this person. The Doctor continued "Listen Bob, son of the
one without a father, I have something for you that may prove very very
useful. Use it wisely though. It's healing powers are great, but not if
you really get hurt dudesy. Okay?" And with that she handed Bob a Super
Mega Bottle of Super Magic Neosporin. It was pocket sized, but packed twice
the antibacterial and painkilling power of regular Magic Neosporin. (Also
avalible at a HupZupCupX-press near you! Now take the money from the nice
director man) Bob was wowed!! The second really cool really useful gift
in one day!! Not like the stuffed mechanic monkeys or glitter wands two
certain people have been known to give him! No! This was a useful present!
Bob thanked the Good Doctor profusley and then the group, now with Grounde
in tow, left the Good Doctor to her nap once again!
Oh...BTW...this isn't done yet...obviously!! |
