Bob ate grapes and got a bad stomach ache. So he laid on his couch and decided to listen to Seven Nations. He turned on the CD player and when the CD got to "bring Back the Sign" Bob realized that it was the same sign he'd seen in his very bestest friends bathroom! Bob went to his friend joe's house and went to his bathroom. He tried to shove the sign through the window and that stupid sign wouldn't fit!! Bob got mad and broke the toilet. Joe came running and screamed "what the hell was that?!?!" Bob stuck his head out the door and said two words "Bad Gas" Joe made a face and walked off. Bob went back to the problem at hand. How to get this sign to the laddie dudes? Suddenly, Bob knew!! He would strap it to his back and tell joe it was for a "back problem" Bob thought, Joe's so dumb he just might fall for it! Well bob strapped on the sign but he forgot to cover up the words. So he walks out and Joe buys the story, until he sees bob's back with the words "harp and thisthistle pub" on it. Joe screams and bum rushes Bob. Bob being in better shape, beats Joe to his car. But, Bob couldn't quite fit in his car. It was quite comical to the neighbors the way bob was trying to get in his car while beating off joe. But Bob got in and drove off with the sign and he was like now what do I do? And he remembered! The laddie dudes were in town tonight. Bob drove like a bat out of hell to get there and he arrived just as the laddie dudes were. He stopped the car 5 inches from Struby's beautiful face and said "I have it! I have the sign!" And the laddie dudes hugged Bob and they all went out and had a keg (or 2, or 3, maybe 4) together!
The End!!
In Bob We Trust,
~Lids!~-1/28/99
Beer.Com -- Official Beer of the Internet*Author's Note: This Bob story was also written before Bob grew a whole other identity. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense..I mean, why would the singer of Seventh Deli bring a sign back to himself...Lids just thought of this discrepancy in writing...but it's a rather funny one. And who should Joe be? Oh wait. This Joe and Joe the Fishmonger are not one and the same. Dangit. Now everything has like quadruple meaning!!! ARGH!! Now how am I 'apposed to answer my phone "Bob's Farm" or "The Bar and Grill, Bob speaking."??? Life was much much simplier when Bob was just Bob. Not Bob=Kirk. But Bob=some dude we write about instead of making up an actual character because it's so much easier to call people Bob when you don't remember their names......
Wow. That was long. Almost deserves a page of it's own...
