Once upon a time..........
It was late afternoon on April 7, the year of our Lord 1999 when our hero, the valiant Bob was riding along on his trusty steed, Soda. All was well until he fell into a cavernous pit, taking the horse with him and leaving his wise squire Melvin befuddled.
Bob woke up with a splitting headache and was very very confused. He did not know where he was! To be honest, he wasn't entirely sure who he was. Soon it all came back to him though, the battle with the giants, dinner with the king and then the long long fall into his present locale. He climbed to his feet and surveyed his surroundings. He was in a large cavern, filled with strange, noise making objects he'd never seen before. What were these towering white machines that beeped and booped? " I must find out!" thought bob. So his journey began......
Now that our hero is once again time/place oriented, he began his query into the obscure origin of these machines. Were they perhaps instruments of destruction conjured up by his arch rival, Fredania the Macedonian? Or was it.....no, they couldn't be. That was just fiction. Thought up by those crazy Italians. Surely they hadn't actually had the gall to will their idea into reality? Puzzled, Bob investigated further........He headed down a tunnel to the left. After walking for what seemed like oh, 5 minutes, he came across a fork in the tunnel. Left or right? There was nothing to indicate anyone had ever gone in either direction. Being right-handed, Bob chose the left hand path. As he continued down this path, he was sure he'd gone in the right direction because of the beeps he heard from farther down the tunnel. Soon he arrived at the end of the passage. And was amazed by what he saw.......
Situated in front of him was a giant white machine, like the others in the area he fell into, this too had many multicolored lights and was making those infernal noises. Bob thought to himself that this machine must be the leader, for it was the largest and therefore probably the strongest, and as we all know, the strong always lead. Bob reached for his rapier but was bewildered when he instead pulled out a salami. Then he remembered that he had put that there when he had gone to the supermarket to pick up a few things for the wife. Thinking on his feet, like all good heroes do, Bob brandished his next weapon of choice, his trusty, deadly (if not a wee bit rusty), ever ready, paring knife? "Well," thought Bob, "this will have to do!" Then, with a flourish and much ado, he challenged the mysterious leader to a dual. Bob stabbed at the machine several times. When it didn't fight back, he got more daring. Slowly, he walked around the machine. He then noticed several blue and red cords. "So," he thought, "this is where your power comes from! Well, we shall see!" Then, with a loud yell, Bob cut the cords and listen with glee as the machine beeped its last and died. "I have won!" he thought. But then, he heard a loud shriek coming from another room. Quickly he went to investigate. Bob found a skinny little man sitting in a chair, sobbing. He noticed the sign on the man's desk. Bob addressed the man, "Mr. Gates, what is wrong?" "Don't you see?" cried the man. "You've destroyed my empire." "Empire?" said Bob. "Yes. My Microsoft empire. It's all ruined! All because of you!!!!"
The End
This was originally an "update" of Don Quixote that I had to write for English class but since it was written in the style of Bob.....well, you get the idea!
Bob? MORE Bob? Take me home...I'm tired of Bob
Hmmm...no...I want more on the lads!!
