One day, Bob, a 34 yr. old piping blonde bastard, got very drunk. In the midst of a drunken haze, he decided it was time to (finally...) dye his roots. So Bob asked all of his friends if they could drive him to the drugstore for some peroxide. Joe the fishmonger was waaaay too drunk to drive, Pistachio the ice-cream man was "busy" with his girlfriend in Dallas, Melvin Tiddlewinks was in the middle of business negotiations with the Beer Goddess Brewing Co. and Fredania the Macedonian was busy coming up with a plot to get Bob killed. So Bob was forced to drive himself.
Bob was really too drunk to drive, and so, on the way to the drugstore, he hit the back of a bus and broke both his legs. So, when he woke up in the hospital, not only were both his legs broken, but he was under arrest for DUI, he had a hangover, and his roots were still dark. Bob was very regretful. He started going to AA meetings while his legs healed and vowed never to drink again. He paid his fine, mourned the loss of his license, and decided to let his hair be its natural color again. As a result of all this, he lost his job, his wife left him, and young children spit on him in the streets.
This was written by: Nogs, aka Rhiannon Hawkblood
What? You don't like the Bob stories? Well, bite me okay? Or E-mail me. Your choice...
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