| Bob and Melvin walked out into
the bright sunny world of The Boro. (Well, occasionally The Boro was bright
and sunny. Most of the time it rained. Which is why Melvin was always trying
to prevent Boroians from sneaking into the almost perpetually sunny Beer Commune.
But that's another saga.) Many people of The Boro were out, playing in the
glorious sunshine that dripped off the trees like maple syrup gone slightly
runny. Except it didn't really drip. But you get the idea. As they strolled down the quaint cobblestoned lanes, Bob professed his deep desire for another beer to Melvin. This "professzation" stopped The Resident Beer God/Sometimes Rock Star in his tracks. "Bob! Do not speak of that substance here. The Boro is.." and here Melvin's voice dropped to a whisper. "Beer foresaken." Bob drew in a sharp breath. Surely such a place could not exist? Wouldn't everyone move? (He also drew in a sharp breath because everything had gone slightly pointy shaped, and Melvin's words of "Beer Foresaken" rang a small, oddly shaped green bell in the back of Bob's brain. But he wasn't sure why.) Suddenly, he was accosted by a small woman in glasses. She stroked his cheek and said "Dear Bobly Man, I see you are loosing your Magic Powers. This will not do, deary deary me, it most certainly won't. Come, let me give you something that will cure what ails you." And with that she lead Bob away from Melvin (who was still going along minding his own business. Perhaps this was part of The Resident Beer God's plan. Who knows..ask him later, he's looking for his date right now.) and into a small shop on the other side of the road. "My name is Michalena." said the small woman with glasses. "And I know just what you're going through, believe me, I've been there before." "What is this place? What are those people doing?" asked Bob, as he gazedly around the shop in wonder. "Ah, this is my cover business. We have engravers who make duplicates of important..and sometimes not so important..documents for people. It pays the rent. Come, I need to give you 'the cure' and let you get back to your commune." Michalena led Bob along a dark hallway and into a white room. She sat him at the table that appeared to be the room's sole piece of furniture and got two bottles out of the invisible fridge along the fifth wall. She poured one into the other, and mixed them. (Shaken, not stirred) A steaming glass that smelled vaguely of fabric softener was placed in front of Bob. "Drink up." Michalena ordered and Bob hurried to comply. He drained the glass, gagging the whole time, slammed in down on the table and said "What in the name of Rice Krispies was in that?" But Michalena refused to reveal her secret recipe. Bob muttered a quick "thanks" and ran out the heretofore unseen back door. He found himself in an alley lined with stalls. It was as if he had stumbled into an Old World Market of some sorts. There were people selling everything from chickens so fresh the feathers were still on to one old man who had a stall full of something that look suspiciously like pickled worm tails. Upon seeing this stall, Bob remembered where he was supposed to be just then (at the Beer Commune, with Melvin, having a cold one and pondering the more difficult questions. Such as "Do I want another Guinness after this? Nah...Maybe a Foster's.") and took off running towards the Beer Commune walls. It was late when Bob finally got to the Gates of Beer. He found them closed. Bob began to get very worried. What if he couldn't get back in the Beer Commune? What if all his friends forgot him? What if (and this was worst of all) he was stuck in The Boro, destined to to be Beer Foresaken for the rest of his life? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Then he noticed the note on the Gates of Beer. It said: 
Bob screeched with joy, gave
the Gates a good hard shove (had to get back at them for being so stupid
and looking all closed when they weren't and...stuff. Yeah.) and waltzed
into the Beer Commune like he had just won the Powerball Jackpot.
Then somebody dropped a flowepot on his head. |
