One day in June, Seventh Deli was playing near, but not in, the Land of Idiot-Retards. (For those who do not know, the Land of Idiot-Retards is located directly north of Texas and directly south of Kansas. If you can't figure out which state it is, you probably live there.) Bob and the Entourage were "jammin'" and "chillin'", even though it was EXTREMELY HOT!!! (That was sans humidity. Not sans humidity would have been VERY EXTREMELY HOT!!!)
Anyway, the laddie-dudes were having a great time, playing REALLY loud pipes, when all of a sudden...(well, it wasn't quite "all of a sudden," but "all of a sudden" is more fun.)...two Kjrkologists appeared! They were very odd. (Well, duh! They were Kjrkologists! Anyone who writes stupid stories about a guy who signs his name Kjrk has GOT to be odd!) They gave Bob a "Kjrk-shirt." Bob, being the gracious soul that he is, (oh, yeah, right, sure....we believe you!) told the "nasty" one that he would wear the Bobolicious "Kjrk-shirt" that night! (Dun dun dun!) The "nasty" one thanked him (Bob, that is) profusely, despite the fact that her brain had leaked out her ears and she was barely capable of rational thought, (Some people said she "had a thing" for Bob, but Bob wasn't so sure...and neither was she!) and left. Well, Bob didn't want the Bobolicious "Kjrk-shirt" to get dirty, so he put it in the back of THE Budget Truck. (not to be confused with any other similar trucks NOT containing various odd instruments, some empty beer cans, spiders, and small inflatable gators that "talk" when you squeeze their heads.) But, when he went to put it on to go out partying with the two crazy Aussies with funny accents and even odder instruments, IT WAS GONE!!!!! (the shirt, not the truck!) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! The Evil-Roadie-Boy-Sound-Man Stephan Emerald had STOLEN it!!! BAAAAAD Evil-Roadie-Boy-Sound-Man!!! Bad! Bad!!! (Insert mournful fiddle bit here.....go Fredania, go!) Poor Bob begged and pleaded with the Evil-Roadie-Boy-Sound-Man to give it back his Bobolicious "Kjrk-shirt" back. But the Evil-Roadie-Boy-Sound-Man was an EVIL Evil-Roadie-Boy-Sound-Man and refused to give it back! Bob had LIED to the "nasty" Kjrkologist!!!!!!! OH NO!!! (written down sad) Bob was very upset that he had lied to the "nasty" one, and very nearly cried in his screwdriver. But alas, Bob wasn't being brilliant. He PAID the Evil-Roadie-Boy-Sound-Man!!! He could have gotten his Bobolicious "Kjrk-shirt" back! But noooooo, Bob was meeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn!
By: Nogs "The Nasty One" Warburton, per request of His Royal Kirkyness, and ~Lids!~ who insisted that she write what Nogs said, even though Nogs was perfectly capable of writing it herself.
