Melvin was bored. He didn't have a single thing to do. Melvin had never been so bored. It was bad. So, since he had nothing better to do, he went to Hobby Lobby. Melvin wandered up and down what seemed like miles of aisles of craft supplies. He finally came upon an aisle of toothpicks, popsicle sticks, and glue. Melivn was amazed at this HUGE collection of toothpick, popsicle sticks, and glue. He was awe-stricken. Melvin just hadn't known that there were absolutly so many differents type of glue. And there had to be over 1000 different toothpicks. (Did you know that you can get a blue plastic toothpick in three different lengths?) He decided then and there that it was time to take up a new hobby. Popsicle stick house making. Melvin thought he could make alot of really neat looking houses and chateaus with those sticks. Carefully he selected some of the best looking sticks and after meditating on it a bit, he decided to purchase Aleene's Non-Toxic All Purpose Glue for Crafts and Things by Aleene, INC. Carrying his purchases back out to his Purple Plymouth Prowler Convertible, with leather trimmed bucket seats, a 6 disc CD player, Automatic, dual air bags, AC, power brakes, agate trim, painted bumpers, keyless entry, 7 speakers with amplifier, security alarm, power steering, wheel leather wrapped, electronic speed control, power windows, and titianium alloy wheel 17" front 20" rear, he thought about what kind of popsicle stick house he wanted to make.
Melvin first thought a nice, victorian mansion would be in order, but he realized that he did not have enough gingerbread trim on hand at home to finish it. Pondering his new problem, Melvin drove back to his house by the sea. As he pulled into his driveway, he looked up at his house, what with it's perfectly weathered wood and two stories of beach house perfectness, he had it!! He would model his own house!! Melvin was quite proud of himself for such an ingenious idea. Bob could have never come up with something this good he thought. So, Melvin unloaded his popsicle sticks and glue from his Purple Plymouth Prowler Convertible and went in his house. Melvin walked downstairs into his basement, which was decorated with all sorts of paintings and baskets and stuff. All made by Melvin himself. Melvin was quite the carpenter and craftsman, although the rest of the lads didn't know it. He kept his hobby to himself. Melvin carried the popsicle sticks and glue into his workshop, which was strewn with the remains of his last project, a birdhouse. But the birds went away. So he stopped making the bird house and started making a house for his ferret, Fabio. Fabio decided that he liked his old house though, so Melvin gave up on that one too. Oh well. Anyway, Melvin cracked open the popsicle sticks, opened the glue, and shut the door. Melvin made the first story of the house, no problem. He took a break and got a Bass Ale out of the little mini frigde under his station. Melvin thought that the house was shaping up quite nicely. The glue gave off alot of fumes though. Melvin thought that perhaps he should open a window, but he forgot when he went and put in a Bob Marley CD instead. Melvin was groovin' to the cool island rythems, gluing on the roof of his house, gluing popsicle sticks to his nose? Melvin had been in this little room for far to long with the glue. He was having fun now. Melvin formed his own, one person conga line. "One two cha cha cha! Three Four cha cha cha!!" Now Bob had decided he was gonna drop by on Melvin and have a beer or something. So, being that Bob and Melvin are pretty good friends, Bob just walked right on in Melvin's back door. He immediatly got worried when he heard Bob Marley. Bob ran downstairs and found Melvin in a giggling heap on floor, gluing popsicle sticks to his face and feet and trying to get them to stick to the ceiling and laughing hysteriaclly when they didn't stick and fell down and hit him in the head. Bob thought that perhaps the reggae had been to much for Melvin and he'd had a party. Then Bob saw the popsicle stick house and the open bottle of glue. Bob hauled Melvin to his feet and drug him out to the beach and threw him in the ocean. Melvin immediatly snapped to and wondered what was going on. Bob just started giggling at the site of this man with popsicle sticks glued in his hair like antennae and walked back up to the house leaving a very puzzled Melvin standing in the water as the tide rolled in.
The End
In Bob We Trust,
~Lids!~ 5/28/99 8:47am
".....you said, 'I am as constant as the northern star' and I said, 'Constant in the darkness? Where's that at?...'" -Joni Mitchell
