In Every Relationship
Colossians 3:17 - 4:1 September 12, 2004
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.
Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
CCI: Every relationship is a reflection of our life with Christ.
Intro: We are nearing the end of our study in the Letter to the Colossians. In each of Paul’s general letters, he follows a pattern of teaching and theology at the beginning and practical application of the theology at the end.
In Colossians, the theology has focused on the fact that we are free in Christ. We are free from sin, we are free from the Law, and we are free from guilt. Because we are free, we will be grateful and the life we live will be lived out of gratitude.
Chapters 3 and 4 of Colossians are the application chapters. Because of what Jesus has done, this is how we should live. Despite the heading in the NIV, Paul is not giving us a new set of rules, rather he is illustrating how we will live, when we are grateful.
In Ephesians, just as in Colossians, Paul talks about relationships, especially family relationships. In both letters he establishes a principle before talking about relationships. In Ephesians he said, “Submit yourselves to one another in love.” Here he begins with verse 17: “whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
“Whatever you do,” that covers everything. “Whether in word or deed,” that broadens it even more. “Do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus,” we are ambassadors for Jesus. Our mission statement says we are to be Christ’s presence in our community. What we do is in Jesus name. It is as if Jesus is speaking or acting. It is all done in His name.
And it is to be “with thanksgiving.” Because of what God has done for us in loving us, saving us, keeping us, forgiving us, blessing us and providing for us, everything we do will naturally be done in thanksgiving. There is no room for superiority, there is no room for selfishness and there is no room for arrogance. Whatever you do. . . And so we look at some examples of how this works.
I. Relationships at Home
First Paul looks at relationships at home. Apparently the cultural attitudes toward family were not much different in Paul’s day as they are today. Violence, abuse and disrespect were problems in Colosse. Paul speaks to every member of the family. Husbands, wives, fathers and children are all addressed in this section. “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
Each of these relationships are to be lived under the umbrella of whatever you do. . . None of them can be taken alone and made the primary rule, not even wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.
We need to hear Paul’s message today. David A. Slagle, a nurse in an emergency room said, “One day a couple arrived, both with gunshot wounds. He had awakened late for his first day on the job because his wife did not set the alarm. He expressed his displeasure by shooting her in the arm. Not to be outdone, she retreated to another room, got a shotgun, and shot him in the arm.” These are serious breeches of conduct. You just don’t go around shooting one another. He continued, “As I gathered their paperwork in the preoperative unit, I heard something one would only expect to hear in a country song. Separated by a deputy sheriff and handcuffed to their respective stretchers, the husband began: "I love you, baby, and I'm sorry I shot you." The wife responded, "I love you too, baby, and I'm sorry I shot you."
We snicker at this couple, their violence is a caricature of the worst, but the truth is, while Christian marriages have been shown to have a lower incidence of abuse, wife battering occurs in Christian homes as well. Generalizing from all of the studies done in churches among Christian women, one can conservatively estimate that 1 in every 6 married women in a church verbally abused by their husbands, and 1 in 15 are being physically beaten as well” (Marlin Vis, Battered into Submission). My friends this should not be.
In our nation “One out of every three women who seeks emergency medical treatment at a doctor's office or hospital is the victim of domestic violence, and so is one out of every four women seeking prenatal care. Constance Duran, a Christian psychologist, says, "Typically the violence pattern begins with the wife's first pregnancy and is really directed toward the fetus. There's going to be another sibling in the family, and the husband is jealous." For women between the ages of 15 and 44, domestic violence is the most common cause of injury, and 50 percent of all female murder victims have been murdered by either their husband or a boy friend. And while the numbers a bit smaller for Christians, they are not much smaller.
We need to hear Paul’s words again. Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
These are not commands, they are words about relationships. They are a path to harmony. However, if there is abuse in your household, it must stop. Wives, Paul says to submit to your husband as to the Lord, not like a slave. If the actions of your husband do not reflect the Lord, this is not for you. 55% of abused Christian women surveyed recently said their husbands told them that if they would submit more to them, the abuse would end. 1/3 of the women they believed their husbands and thought that if they would submit to their demands more effectively, the abuse would stop. That is simply not the case. If there is abuse in your family, the abuser and the family members must seek outside help at once.
Whatever you do in your family relationships, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus. That is the principle upon which to build a home.
Children learn from your parents, obey them, respect them. Parents of any age have lessons they can teach their children. As we grow, the relationship between parent and child changes, but it is still be a relationship that pleases the Lord.
Fathers, because the scriptures so clearly speak of God as our Father, we have an awesome responsibility. We are the primary communicators of the nature of God to our children. I have met many adults who have turned from the Christian faith because of the way their fathers treated them. Sometimes it has been in jest but taken to the extreme and the spirit of the child is broken. Sometimes it is violence in words or actions that block a child’s understanding of her heavenly Father. Sometimes it is simply the withholding of approval and acceptance that causes discouragement not just for a day, but for a lifetime. Fathers, it falls upon us to be the first to clearly demonstrate the unconditional love that God has poured out on us for our children.
Whatever you do in your family relationships, whatever your role is, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus. That is the principle upon which to build a home.
II. Relationships at Work
And it is the principle upon which to build relationships in other areas of your life as well.
For the Roman, there were only two spheres of life. There was home and there was work. And for 50% of the population, the work was slavery! You were either a slave, or a slavemaster. And so Paul addresses both groups. Slaves, do your work just as if you were serving the Lord.
Employee theft, by itself is one of the largest expenses any business must absorb. The story is told of Joe who left work every night with a wheelbarrow full of dirt. The guard was certain he was stealing something, tools, money, new product, something. Every night the guard would stop the man and search his wheelbarrow. Several times he even had him dump his load of dirt, but he found nothing. Finally, after the employee and the guard retired, they met each other at a local restaurant. The guard came up to him and said, “Joe, we are both retired so tell me, really what were you stealing when you left the yard each day.” Joe said, “I was opening a wheelbarrow store.”
Theft will destroy your witness and ruin a company. And so will conflict. The business world is established on the basis of competition. In striving for the best, the competition in the workplace, or even in the volunteer center, quickly can become breeding gound for conflict. In an atmosphere of competition, conflict arises regularly. However, if in your work you are serving the Lord, conflict will not get a foothold in your life. It may go on around you, but it need not control you. If as employees, and as followers of Jesus, you do your work and live your witness knowing that Jesus eyes are on you, you will make an impact with the people you encounter.
Do your work for the Lord. Some businesses understand the importance of serving.
A man was having dinner with his parents at a stylish London restaurant. The food was superb, and the setting—complete with chandeliers, crystal and silver—was unbelievably elegant. Nonetheless, when his mother's main course arrived, she felt the need for a little salt. Trying the three silver shakers that were on the table, she discovered each contained pepper. She called the waiter over only to be told that she must be mistaken. Each table always contained two dispensers of pepper and one of salt.
A second attempt, however, showed that their table did, indeed, have three peppershakers. Horrified, the waiter immediately brought her a saltshaker. When it was time for dessert, the maitre d' appeared, insisting that because of the oversight they choose something "on the house."
The woman protested, "It's not that important."
"But, Madame," he replied in all seriousness, "what if you had been the Queen?"
What would happen if in our jobs and in all our relationships, we began to understand that we are not working for a company, and we are not working for a paycheck, and we are not working for a boss, but we are working for the Lord? How would that affect our commitment? How would that affect our work? How would that affect our co-workers and fellow students?
Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.
And that is true for bosses as well. Paul saves verse 1 of chapter 4 just for the boss. “Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.” In any position of authority, whether you are a teacher, a manager, a parent or a team captain, let these words guide you. Be fair with the people in your care. Do what is right. Treat those who are under you in the structure with respect. Nothing will build a positive attitude more quickly than employees who know they are respected and valued. If these people are created in the image of God, we need to honor them.
Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.
Whatever the relationship, that is the guiding principle. You are an ambassador for Christ. When you speak, you are speaking for Christ. When you work, you are working in Christ’s place. When you serve, you are serving as Christ would serve.
Our mission statement says, “We are equipping God’s people to be His presence in our community.” Well, folks, it is time to start being that presence. Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, whether at home, at work, or at play, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God the Father through him.
