I sure as hell don't know, but this certianly is not.
No no NO!
This will soon be home to my collected short works of infamy,
some are a little racy and were not intended for young viewers,
well they shouldnt really be read by anyone with any taste,
but hey if you are here, chances are that you know me...
and therefore you probably have pretty good taste,
but hey just read the damn stories!
On this page I plan to include my best works, such as The Broken Arm (an English and a French version!), the multi faceted Cape Cod drug dealer story, which I like to call; The Cape Cod Drug Dealer Story, and many more!
NOTE: You will not find anywhere on this page the infamous 99 story, although I am certain references will be made. Also all you perspiring writers out there.. send me stuff! I will put it up!
Right now I have a couple prospects for the literary works, for this page..but they are not mine, so I need to get permisson..lets just say one includes some dancing...naked...poets....
ok here it is! why? I don't know...what? I don't know..but here is the tale Dancing Naked Poets written by Rohan
PART 1
A calm summer day finally settled onto the plain across the gulf of Carpentaria...as I drove into the sunset (damn...my eyes) I saw a lonely figure sitting on the roadside, with large pile of rocks beside him.
'You bum' I thought as I put the foot down...then his crazed grin suggested amusing conversation. So I slowed, and he picked up the sack of rocks and rolled it to the car.
'Hi' he said. "I just escaped from that crazy S….errr….Aielman Bob and his lovemistress, can you get me further away?"
:So he hopped in the car, and as we spoke , he revealed himself to be Rhodric, the famed adventure type guy from here and there.
Rhodric pivoted, and saw a woman sitting in the back seat, eating a bowl of ice cream that caused a smoky haze in the back seat.
"Who are they" Rhodric asked in a conspirital tone.
"That is...the lurker" Rohan replied. "They lurk...wusses."
The lurker promptly leaned forward and bestowed an ice cream headache upon Rohan and his foul tongue "a curse on both your houses" she rasped, as she faded from view.
"How peculiar" Rohan muttered as he turned to watch where he was driving. Another person was roadside trying to flag a lift, waving a bread roll frantically.
Rhodric leaned out the car window, and began to hurl rocks, down to his last stone in the sack, which was blocked in the swordform "cuddle the badger" by the hitchhiker...
"Geez. He's not bad" said Rhodric as the car came to a halt.
The stranger wandered up to the window, and said "You call that ROCKING? Oh, By the way...my name is Tannen, and I'm the curse."
"Cool" said Rohan…"hop in"
So Tannen the curse jumped up onto the seat and sat the bread roll with the lump of rock in it on the dashboard.....
Rhodric laughed, and pointed at the roll.
"Rock in Roll" he babbled.
Tannen the curse and Rohan the twit promptly joined in..." Rock n Roll" they chuckled..."sweeeet"
And up in the sky, Noire, the Goddess, looked down and muttered..."dammit...here we go"
PART 2
And so as the days rolled by, our 3 intrepid heroes continued southward, day and night were inconsequential, their purpose, of the utmost importance...crucial to life.
To find a you bewt counter lunch and a decent pint of Caffrey's Irish Beer.
And so our heroes' quest continued, doing runners from every pub from Cairns down to Sydney that they had a meal in, "Cause I have no money!" Rohan said...
"Geez Roh...you look crook" grinned Tannen over his 16th pint.
"Shaddup" gurgled Rohan from the corner, where he hugged to the potplant for dear life "and stop the damn room tipping about!"
"You know" Rhodric chuckled "that you could tell him we've been drinking water....that's almost cruel."
"Hey, I'm a curse, so sue me" said Tannen, as he called over the serving wench for another round. As she approached, Rohan looked up from the corner, stood to both his feet, and began to navigate his way through the myriad of poker machines and bar stools.
"I know you" Rohan slurred to the serving wench.
"So you do" she sneered as she ripped out a fearsome weapon from her garter.
"Egads! Its the haunch of sloth...scarper!!!!!" bellowed Rhodric as he ducked for cover behind the 'mystic pyramids' poker machine which gives you 100 credits for $1.
Tannen had also taken cover behind another pyramid, the one he had built from the steins Rohan had drank. "Time to cop it nerd boy" said not the serving wench, but Birgitte, renowned thief of ridiculous weapons and stuff "cause I still have carpet burn from where you tried to tackle me as I stole this delightful rotting haunch of sloth...it's a marvelous weapon you know!"
"Can I have it back?" asked Rohan politely, swaying on his feet.
"He's mad!" whispered Rhodric from behind his mystic pyramid poker machine.
Tannen just watched in grim silence.
"Sure...I'm done with it anyway…I used it to knock over the music and instrument shop down the road" said Birgitte..."Right after I donk you over the head for the carpet burn."
"I can deal with that" said Rohan, after what Birgitte thought was a pause for consideration but was really the amount of time it took for Rohan's somewhat even slower than normal brain took to process the offer. "Donk away."
And with that, Birgitte swung a mighty blow, toppling the mystic pyramids poker machine and the pyramid of steins that Tannen and Rhodric were hiding behind. Rohan lay there, unconscious on the floor, as Birgitte deposited the valued weapon next to him. "Say" she said, as she turned to see Rhodric and Tannen "aren't you pair travelling with him?"
"Yessum" they replied together, as Tannen turned to wave and grin at a dark, misty lurking shape over by the ice cream freezer.
"Would you lot want any instruments? It seems I stole too many to use..."
"Ok" said Rhodric..."we need to learn how to play though."
"Well" mused Birgy "we'd have to revive Rohan first, and then I could take you to a friend of mine...you will learn quite fast from them"
"No worries...where's a bucket for water?" offered Tannen.
"Behind the bar...hurry it up too" said Birgitte.
And so ends part 2, as up in the heavens, the Goddess Noire looked down and said "Geez, they'd have to come to me, wouldn't they!"
